


Politically Incorrect

by minusmelle



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Liberal!Roman, M/M, Politics, Republican!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-09-07 14:38:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 100,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8804761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minusmelle/pseuds/minusmelle
Summary: conservative Republican douchebag!Dean goes to a college party and meets a left wing smart-ass named Roman who makes him question his politics and sexuality.





	1. You Look Lonely

"Okay, are we seriously going to a dorm party?" Dean did one of those ironic laughs that held the tiniest touch of sarcasm in them. "That’s so… tacky. Why couldn't we just had a frat party at Cappa-Si."  
  
"Come on Dean, as much as I love Cappa-Si, you know our parties are _boring_ , filled with the uptight sorority girls looking for political husbands, and the guys who only can get those types of girls who fuck in the missionary position for the rest of their lives. That sounds promising when we're 30 or 40 but right now, I want to meet a college girl who doesn't ask me if I plan on investing conservatively in the future for once." Dean's best friend Jack slapped his chest playfully and offered him a small smile. "Don't worry bro. It'll be fun. Trust me.”  
  
Dean glanced at the dorm hall and sighed as he walked behind his friend stoically. Here he was again, letting his two friends Jack Swagger and Cody Rhodes talk him into _anything._ Tonight's fiasco? Partying it up with some serious idiots who probably thought that Obama care was the best thing to happen since Bush's presidency ended. He knew he was in for a night of bimbos who couldn’t spell filibuster, jocks with lower IQ’s than rabbits, and idiots who knew nothing of foreign policy or the war in Afghanistan. His hands felt clammy as he came into the hall, behind his friends who weren’t at all as nervous as he was. Dean was mentally preparing himself to dumb down his IQ just to have a conversation… and fuck, here goes nothing.  
  
The party was in full swing already, and it wasn’t even 10pm. Everyone was socializing, some were dancing in the corner together, others playing beer pong on the table. Dean thought that at least his friends would stay close by him, and make sure he wasn't physically robbed or assaulted by one of the guys here but sooner than he could blink, his best friends had gone off into the crowd, getting lost in conversation with the regulars.

Dean stood there, like a deer caught in headlights, not knowing where to go. His blue eyes turned towards the kitchen, where Dean saw a keg. _Thank god,_ Dean thought as he walked over to it, grabbed a red solo cup and poured him a cup of beer. The cup filled, and Dean looked around, to see his friends already flirting with girls who had no substance or probably intelligence. Dean sighed, and walked out the kitchen,  to sip his beer alone, by the corner.

After about five minutes of sipping beer alone, and being uncomfortable, Dean thought that maybe he should just leave but just then...  
  
"Well.. you look lonely." A voice said next to him.

At first Dean thought the guy could've been talking to someone else so he ignored him. "Wow, are you always so rude to someone speaking right to you?" The voice said again. This time the man was right in front of him, smiling. He was so tall, had about as much muscle as he a jock would, but Dean played almost every sport on campus and he's never seen him before. He had long hair from what Dean could guess but it was in a tight bun, so he really didn't know. His goddamn shirt was all Dean could see though, as blue eyes watched it cling to him like he had painted it on or something. Dean didn't want to look but his eyes betrayed him as they stared at the man in front of him, up.. and down.. up and down.  
  
"Huh?" Dean finally said, forcing his eyes on the man's face now instead of trying to count just how many abs the man probably had.  
  
"I said that you looked _lonely_ and you just ignored me. That's not very nice."  
  
"Well maybe, I ignored you because that's not how I'm used to being addressed? I don't really respond to rudeness, you know." Dean said back, crossing his arm and sipping some more beer.  
  
" _That's not how I like to be addressed!"_  The guy mocked Dean's tone with a laugh. "Who do you think you are? Donald Trump or something?" He licked his lip softly.  
  
"If I _was_ Donald Trump, the first thing I'd do when I was president is get rid of scholarships. So people like you couldn't get into colleges like this and ruin it with these liberal arts-gay agenda parties." Dean said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Gay agenda?" The boy laughed again at how ridiculous this guy sounded, "So I'm guessing you don't like gay men?"  
  
"Not at all. I mean I don't go around calling people the f word or anything, but it just isn't for me." Dean shrugged. "Gay people make me... uncomfortable."  
  
"Uh huh." the boy moved closer to him, getting in Dean's personal space. "So I guess I make you uncomfortable then? Or were you not just checking out my abs just now?" He took Dean's cup out of his hand and sipped from it... slowly.  Dean watched him put his mouth on the cup and he almost bit his lip at the sight. He cleared his throat, but at the same time couldn't stop watching his adam's apple bob up.. and down as he drank Dean's beer.  
  
"I wasn't looking at you.." Dean tried his best to sound convincing. "And to answer your question.. _yes,_ you do make me uncomfortable."  
  
"Good." The guy handed Dean back his beer then gave off a soft, inviting smile. "At least we're getting somewhere." The brown of his eyes searched Dean up and down, his clothes screamed uptight, but his body language read different. Like he was afraid but also.. excited. "So, you got a name… Trump jr?” The guy teased him.  
  
"Please don't call me that, my name is Dean... just _Dean._ Now if you'll excuse me.." Dean tried his best to get out of the there, the air was too tight and this gay guy was coming onto him… Dean could tell. He pushed past the very tall.. very confusing boy and walked right out the party, what he didn't know was that he was being followed.

“I didn't mean to offend you,” The guy called out in the empty dorm hallway. “I was just… playing around.”

Dean stopped when he heard his deep, yet soft voice. His feet and hands were sweaty as he breathed out heavily and turned around.

“I'm sorry, cutie.” The boy said as he started to walk closer to him. Dean felt like he couldn't move as the boy came face to face with him. Some of his red hair was in his eyes so the guy smiled, and pushed it back, slowly, watching confused blue eyes look back at him, without stopping him from touching. “My names Roman,” the boy revealed as his hand moved from Dean’s hair, back to his sides, “I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, and I understand your views, even though they are incorrect, and narrow minded… I'm sorry okay? Have a nice night.”

Dean watched this _Roman_ guy walk away, and even though a part of him was thankful for him no longer being in his space or touching him, there was an even bigger part that wonder why… he didn’t want him to leave.

“I think it's more narrow minded to accept one point of view as fact, and not at all hear the other side because it doesn't fit with how you view yourself in the world.” Dean’s little rant is what got Roman to stop this time, and immediately turn around. His eyebrow raised curiously as he walked back over to Dean and laughed right in his face.

“Hear the other side? Of what? You telling me that liking dick is wrong and a sin? I rather live in a world where I get to be myself, than be like you,” Roman countered, while staring Dean down.

“Like me? You don't even know me,” Dean spat back, fire was now building in his blue eyes.

“I know you're definitely not straight pretty boy, but gay people make you ‘uncomfortable’ can you say hypocrisy?” Roman scoffed, waving his hand at Dean as he began to walk off. Dean of course, followed him, into a room at the end of the hall, which Dean could only assume was Roman's dorm. He tried to slam the door in Dean's face, but Dean stopped him with his big hand, pushing through just so he could continue this argument.

“How do you know I'm not straight huh?” Dean now yelled at Roman, who just calmly sat on his bed, and kicked his feet up, “I'll have you know I can please any woman okay?” Dean had no idea why he was defending his own sexuality to a gay guy who seemed to be uninterested in the rest of this debate. He noticed Roman was giving him the silent treatment now, whistling while Dean went off on tangents. He rolled his eyes, “Why do I fucking bother with you liberal dick heads,” Dean asked himself exhaustedly, “Fuck this, I'm leaving.”

He was headed for the door, but that's when Roman sat up, and exhaled loudly, “Okay fine, I'll bite… you say you're not gay then prove it. Kiss me.”

“W-what?” Dean was shocked, by what Roman was asking him to do. He's never… well… once...but it was a dare and fuck, was Roman seriously asking him to give him a kiss?

“Kiss me,” Roman said, patting the free space on the bed next to him. “If you're as straight as you say, there won't be any chemistry between us when we kiss right? It's just… a kiss?” Roman was only half serious about this whole thing. If this guy was gay that was truly his business but, he was cute, and Roman always had a thing for guys he couldn't have. A conservative Republican was at the top of that list.

“I'm not going to kiss you,” Dean told him, but he did begin walking over to Roman's bed. He sat down next to him, and got a soft smile from the guy with the light brown eyes. Dean hated to admit how cute this guy actually was, how he wanted to stroke his beard for some reason and squeeze his big arms. That didn’t make him gay though, that made him human… right? “...you have nice eyes,” Dean whispered, trying not to blush.

“So do you,” Roman spoke softly, smiling as Dean looked back at him curiously.

“I'm not gay,” Dean assured him again, looking away from his intense gaze.

“Okay, you're not gay,” Roman agreed, his eyes still on him. “I still want you to kiss me.”

Dean didn’t know why his stomach felt fluttery, and his cheeks and ears burned red as blue eyes caught brown again. He licked his bottom lip, looking at Roman who hadn't taken his eyes off of him for one second. For some reason the air in the room got tighter, and replaced itself with thick, sexual tension. Dean couldn't look away anymore, especially since Roman was leaning forward, breath getting closer to Dean's, as his lips hovered over his own. “Kiss me,” the demand came even softer now, so soft that Dean couldn’t resist, he took one look at him, and one big breath, then slowly, placed his lips on Roman's.

_Holy fuck._

Roman said there would be no chemistry between them but, that was the biggest lie Dean ever heard. His lips were so fucking soft, and he took charge of his mouth, the perfect amount of teasing, tongues, lips and passion. Dean grabbed at the back of his head as the sparks flew and their tongues seemed to entwine so easily. Fuck. Dean’s never kissed anyone like this before. He wanted to take off his clothes, but what would that lead to? Dean didn't know but he wanted it, fuck he wanted it all.  They pulled away, just for a second to breathe and regain some composure. Dean’s head stilled against Roman's as they breathed out uncontrollably.

“I should… go,” Dean said, even though he was making no effort to move out of Roman’s personal space.

“No,” Roman shook his head and grabbed at Dean who was smiling as he picked him up then tossed him on the bed. Dean's innocent blue eyes were watching as Roman unbuckled his jeans, and got in between Dean’s open legs, “I want you to stay… I think there's still a few things your political views and religion haven't taught you yet.”

“Yeah?” Dean laughed, “And what would that be?”

Roman slowly took off his shirt, watching Dean bite his lip at his abs, “... just how _comfortable_ sex with another man can be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might be more of this if anyone likes it, if not it works as a one shot as well. -Melle


	2. Like A Virgin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean can't stop thinking about him...

Dean couldn’t think.

The fact that he was currently sitting in a political science lecture, yet for whatever reason, he couldn't fucking focus. For _once_ in his life, Dean was actually distracted by something, and that was a testament to one person, and one person only. Even though it's been three days since he seen the guy, he couldn't stop thinking about _him._ His professor was going over the basic laws and liberal regulations, something they always do before diving into the meaty stuff, but _fuck,_ Dean's mind kept flashing back to that night, Roman’s passionate kisses… his thighs, his hands… his…

“The social sciences, as well as political science focuses on all three basic types of social power: the pen, the purse, and the sword…”

_“Take off your clothes.”_

“Unlike the other social sciences, it gives special attention to the power of the sword…”

_“You have a nice dick, I bet it tastes good, do you want me to taste it?”_

“It is wielded collectively in the form of war and threats of war, wielded against individuals—ideally— in the more civilized form of laws.”

_“Ever had a dick in your ass, pretty boy?”_

_“No,”_

“ _Do you want mine in your gorgeous ass?”_

_“I don’t know,”_

_“Tell me the truth… do you want my dick?”_

“ _Yes… fuck, Roman,  I want you.”_

“Mr. Ambrose?”

Dean was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't even hear the teacher call to him. He looked down towards the front of the classroom, and saw the professor, and everyone else staring at him, waiting for an answer. Dean honestly had no fucking idea what was going on, he wasn't paying attention at all. How could he when he kept thinking about the time he almost had gay sex with a left winged, little smart ass who thought Bernie Sanders of all people should've been president. Dean scrubbed his face and apologized for not understanding, which was a lie but it was better than saying, _Sorry teach, I was thinking about dick instead of listening._

Jack looked over at him once the professor continued, and quickly mouthed to Dean “ _Are you okay_?” He looked back over to Jack and nodded, before going back to typing on his laptop. Dean never thought that in a million years he'd be unfocused at _school._ He took pride in knowing that he got good grades, and was an honor student coming here. Nothing was going to stop from reaching that next step into his soon to be political future, not even a 6’3 samoan man who kissed like chocolate was slowly melting in his mouth. _Nope_. Dean had a plan, and it included a wife and a political profile that consisted of mayor, then governor, then ultimately, the presidency… and just because Roman kissed good, and knew how to suck a dick better than his ex girlfriend didn't mean that Dean was gay or wanted to pursue anything with him.

It meant that he was drunk, and caught up in the moment.

That was it.

The bell rung and class was over before Dean got to finish his notes. He sighed, beginning to pack up all his stuff away when Jack came over to him, “Dude, that was the first time you looked truly out of it, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I'm fine, Jack, don't look so scared, I just dozed off a bit cause I was cramming all night last night. Don't worry, I’m still focused on one thing and one thing only.” Of course Dean was lying, but how could he tell his best friend that he couldn't get another _guy_ out of his mind?

“Alright dude, see you back at the house.” Jack waved Dean off to catch up with his girlfriend, Summer. Dean watched them kiss, softly, Summer smiled, then they exited together. He rolled his eyes, while putting his laptop away, then finally Dean was able to leave the classroom.

He had two whole hours before his next class. He could go to the study hall, like Dean typically would any other day, catch up on readings, or his essay due next week, except… Dean didn't want to do any of that. What he really wanted to do, was go back to the Newman dorm hall, knock on Roman's door and see if he was home... and make out with him some more.

But what if it was just one drunken night?

What if Roman wasn't thinking about Dean the way Dean kept thinking about him?

Dean decided to just forget this whole thing. It was one night, where he _almost_ had gay sex. _Almost._ One drunken night where he felt more chemistry in one kiss with Roman than any other time he's ever kissed a girl. Except, he wasn't that drunk, and the kiss was better than _any_ kiss he's ever received… in his entire life. Roman’s hands were so big, and Dean liked the way they felt as they squeezed his thighs… he would’ve gone all the way, if it weren't for his roommate coming home in the middle of the night. Dean got so frightened once he saw his roommate, that he put his clothes back on in a hurry, then ran out of there.

Like a fucking coward.

Dean walked across campus, and yet again his mind seemed to flash back to that night and how Roman's lips felt around his dick. He was so fucking talented, well, at least his _mouth_ was. A blow job from a guy wasn't supposed to be that good... but it _was_ , fuck it was so good he was still thinking about it days later. Dean was coming up towards Newman hall dorms while his imagination took him places. He stopped, looking up at the windows before breathing heavily. Roman probably wasn't home… he had classes, or obligations, or some other excuse Dean could think of to not go inside.

“ _Just go to study hall,”_ Dean said to himself, as he closed his eyes and turned away, ready to leave and never return when…

“Hey pretty boy.” Dean knew the voice already and he only spent one night with him. His breath and heart seemed to stop, as he heard him. He breathed out slowly, then turned around to see Roman with books in his hand, head tilted and smiling at him, “Did you come here for me?” He asked as he walked over to Dean.

“No,” Dean told his third lie of the day as the man he couldn’t stop thinking about came a little closer. He could smell his cologne from here, it was strong, woodsy, deep, masculine, just like him. “I happen to walk past here every day on my way to study hall,” fourth lie, but this time those blues looked into brown and he couldn't stop mentally melting at just his presence.

“Ah, that's too bad, I was hoping when I saw you walking over here that it was for me. I had so much fun with you the other night, pretty boy, _a lot_ of fun.”

“I think you and I have two very different definitions of the word _fun_ ,” Dean said back, looking away. Why couldn't he just admit he had fun too? That he wanted to do it again?

 _Chicken shit._ He told himself.

“Mm. I see. I guess we’re still pretending huh?” Roman shrugged then smiled, “Well, that's fine, enjoy your study hall.. but let me know if you ever wanna be that _comfortable_ again, cutie. I promise this time..  there will be _no_ interruptions.”  

Roman winked at Dean, then began to walk away. Dean watched him go.. his heart beating a mile a minute as he contemplated. He could just let him go, that would be great. He could try to forget about him, and his mouth, and those lips, and his fucking attitude, or… he could go with him and possibly have the best sex of his 20 year old life….

“Wait!” Dean called to him, making Roman stop right before he got to the entrance of the dorms, “Okay… fine, you uh..” He spoke very softly, “You win… I have an hour and 30 minutes before my next class… I wanna come with you.”

Roman couldn't fight his smile as he turned around,  and walked back towards Dean. He saw the cute boy look around to make sure no one saw Roman in his face, eyes on eyes, and body too close for comfort, “Pretty boy, trust me” Roman whispered, chocolate eyes staring deep into blue, he grabbed one of Dean’s hands and walked them over to the front of the building. Roman opened the door with his card so he can let them both in, then smirked at Dean,

“You'll definitely be _coming_ … with me.”  

Not ten minutes later, Dean's back hit Roman’s door hard, and all of Roman’s books fell to his floor as they kissed inside of his room. Dean had no idea what he was doing but it felt good when Roman did that thing with his tongue, and grabbed Dean’s ass through his jeans at the same time. They've been kissing since they got in the room, unable to keep their hands or mouths off of each other… Dean felt like his entire body was on fire, especially when Roman grinded his erection against his own, and held Dean like he was the only guy he's ever wanted… at least for now.

“Does this polo shirt come off?” Roman teased in between soft kisses.

“Yeah. Does your mouth ever shut up?” Dean asked back, giving it just a good as he got it. Roman laughed back at him while pulling Dean’s shirt above his head, and tossed it, smiling at Dean's body. He never had someone look at him the way Roman was now, like he wanted him, but not just his body… everything. Which was just a really weird feeling.

“You know exactly what my mouth does, remember?” Roman took off his own shirt then placed himself back on Dean, this time grabbing Dean's hands in his own and holding them above his head, in a tight lock, while his passionate kiss began to ruin Dean for other people. “I wanna fuck you,” Roman whispered as his lips hovered over Dean's before he kissed him again. “Do you want me to fuck you, like a man?”

“I…” Dean looked at him, his brown eyes shining, with the afternoon haze as their backdrop. The answer to his question was yes, _yes_ he wanted Roman to fuck him, yes he wanted this, as it was evident from his obvious erection but while his body was screaming yes, _god yes_ ... his mind… was saying no. Roman was everything wrong with the world. People who believe the middle class deserved less taxes, and free college, higher minimum wage, stupid shit like that, but he was so hot, and they had chemistry… _crazy chemistry_ that Dean never experienced with anyone before.

“I want you to fuck me,” Dean disobeyed everything his mind was telling him. He watched brown eyes gleam at him, then he got picked up off his feet and kissed towards Roman’s bed. His kisses were better than getting good grades, Dean deduced as he was laid against Roman's pillows. He smiled, when Roman pulled him by his legs, and his tempting brown eyes focused on blue ones that was only the least bit scared of what was to come. Roman was so smooth, taking his jeans off with one hand while the other pulled them down along with his boxers, until Dean was basically naked, while Roman was still half dressed. Dean’s legs opened so easily for him, and it was strange how perfectly Roman seemed to fit between them.

“I like the way you look right now, all innocent, and _hard_ ,” Roman whispered, hands curling around Dean’s erection, slowly stroking Dean’s dick, while they maintained intense eye contact. “Mm, you have such a nice dick… It's so pretty, I like it, I want it in my mouth again, but you have to work for that pretty boy, can you work for me?”

“Fuck…” Dean didn’t know if it was his hands or his words but he was on the verge of coming right then and there. He watched Roman stroke him at such a nice pace that had Dean feeling like he could come any minute, this feeling was exhilarating, strange… amazing. Roman leaned down to kiss him as he stroked Dean faster, his rugged hands moving fast up and down, giving Dean that firm, yet soft grip he needed. They kissed for what seemed like hours while Roman jerked him off, but suddenly it stopped, and Roman crawled off the bed, and started to take his pants off for Dean.

The other night it was so dark in the room that Dean didn't get a chance to take off Roman's clothes… even though he wanted too. His mind was racing, as was his heart as he saw him pull down his jeans, and fucking hell… he had absolutely no underwear on, full on commando, his thick, reddish brown dick was hard as he stepped out of his jeans and smiled. “Do you like what you see?” Roman asked, trying not to blush.

“If I said I did, what does that mean?” Dean sat up, eye level with Roman’s erection. He started to wonder why the sight of it was turning him on, and why he _really_ wanted it.. somewhere inside of him. He's never had thoughts like this before, well… once but they went away after awhile and now, he was in another guys bedroom, staring at his penis and asking himself why he felt the need to stuff it in his mouth.

“I think it means you’re a democrat,” Roman joked, as he watched Dean lick and bite his bottom lip at the sight of his dick.

“I'd never be apart of the _we want free handouts_ party, but you do have a _really_ nice dick.” Dean's eyes stayed on it, “What does it feel like.. a dick in your mouth?”

“It feels good, why? Do you want me in your mouth, pretty boy?”

“What if I did? What if I wanted you all over me… or inside of me?”

“What if you didn't answer every question with another question?” Roman teased him, lowering himself onto Dean's lap, slowly. They both moaned when their erections grinded against each other, as Roman got comfortable. Dean's hands automatically went to his ass, and Roman moaned when he squeezed it, forcing him to grind on top, “Mm, even though you have a terrible, one sided view on life… I think I'm starting to be very fond of you, pretty boy.” Roman grinded against him again, this time causing Dean to bite down hard on his bottom lip to keep from moaning.

“My name is _Dean_ , learn it, and stop calling me pretty boy, we both know you're prettier.”

Roman let out a cute short laugh, “Heh, that may be true… but we also know who's more dominant,” he whispered it against Dean’s lips, “And your dick feels so nice and snug against my ass right now, I could just ride you raw, but what I really want… is to be inside you… and if you're good, _pretty boy,_ I'll let you have me too.” Roman watched Dean smile at the thought of having Roman, and that smile really did make Roman want to spread his legs for him, but he didn't know him that well _besides_ the fact that he's a republican, possibly gay, jerk who turned Roman on…

But, he liked the challenge.

He got off of Dean’s lap to go to his desk drawer. Roman opened it, grabbing his lube and condoms, then came back over to the bed, kissing Dean before putting his full weight on him, making him fall backwards on the bed, “Have you ever done anything sexual with a man before? Be honest.” Roman had to ask before they got started, he didn't know Dean, he knew he wanted to fuck him, but if he was one of those guys who slept around with other men, lying saying he wasn't gay then Roman would throw him out, no question about it.

“You're the first kiss I ever had with a man in my life… and before that, I was in a 5 year relationship with my high school sweetheart, but I ended it about 5 months ago. I’ve never… done this, or ever fully let myself even consider this, because, one day, I wanna be president…” Roman smiled at that, “I have a nice political future ahead of me, and having a sexual attraction to other men would drastically change that…”

“You think it would huh?” Roman laughed, “Oh my god, you're so narrow minded.. but cute,” Roman said softly, looking down at Dean who was blushing, “So.. I'd be your first time? _Mr. President_?”

“Yes, first and _only_ … I.. want this, _you_ , I mean. There's something about you, that had me thinking about your thighs in class, and your mouth. So I figured, there must be something here. It can be just sex if you want, but… I definitely want to try.”

Roman smiled, nodding at how mature Dean seemed. He was probably the sweetest republican he ever met. Yes, their lives would never mesh in the real world, but this was just sex… Roman could do sex, especially sex with future presidents. “Okay, I'll do it, but first.. I want you to relax, and just… kiss me.” Dean nodded, listening to Roman's suggestions. He relaxed his shoulders and they began kissing, just like before. The same spark passed through their lips, and the same chemistry was a flame in their mouths.

Dean felt so good in his big arms, he wrapped one around Dean while the other was squeezing his ass. God, he loved it when he grabbed his ass like that… it made Dean's dick tighten, and when he felt Roman's fingers rimming around his entrance, Dean’s blue eyes brightened, brown looking back at him, so calm. Telling Dean he was safe, without words and for whatever reason, that made him feel so comfortable.

Dean was kissed again, so soft and gently, that didn't feel the finger going slowly inside of him, but once it was in… _fucking hell,_ he felt it all. “My god..” Dean gasped in Roman's mouth, when began to thrust that finger in, back and forth, while he and Dean made out in his bed. The weirdest part was that it didn't feel strange, to have something inside of him, it actually felt good… no, fucking great.

Roman very slowly added a second finger, and this time, Dean’s head fell forward to his shoulders. He felt Roman lift one of his legs so his fingers could hit Dean at a better angle and for whatever reason… that did it. Dean was moaning out loud as Roman fingered him so deep Dean could swear his soul felt it. He grabbed onto Roman's arm, his own body begging for release… but Roman pulled his fingers slowly out before Dean could get what he wanted.

“Fuck you felt so tight, I can't wait to fuck you.” Roman whispered that, while pulling away to place the condom and lube on. Dean watched him put it on, and lather his erection up with lube. This was it. He was gonna get fucked by a guy in the middle of the day and it was either going to be great or terrible. Dean turned over to his stomach, with his ass out waiting for Roman to put it in. In that moment, he heard Roman laugh at him, causing Dean to look up suspiciously.

“What are you doing?” Roman asked softly.

“Getting into position… this is how gay guys do it right?” Dean laid down again, spreading his legs a bit more. Roman liked the view, but he just laughed again, and suddenly turned him back around and got in between his legs.

“That's one way of many to fuck a guy, yes, but your first time isn't going to be with some guy who can't bare to look at you,” Roman spoke near Dean's mouth, as his dick teased near Dean's puckered entrance, “Your first time is going to be me,” he slowly pushed in, making Dean's jaw drop, a small whimper left out his mouth at the feel of him, “Watching those pretty blue eyes as I fuck you,” Roman thrusted in once, their hips connecting from how hard the thrust was and fuck... Dean let out a howl he never heard before. God, he was so deep inside of him already, like his dick was made for Dean’s ass. “Fuck, you feel amazing.” Roman’s hair fell forward as he began to take it slow with Dean, it was his first time and he wanted it to mean something for him. Dean ran his hands through Roman’s black locks, holding them at the back of Roman's head as he began to fuck him...slowly but passionately.

“Roman!” Dean moaned out his name every time Roman's thrust got a little deeper, a little harder, a little faster. What was worse was their connection. It felt like forever with him when it had only been a few minutes. Fuck, his dick felt so fucking good and Dean was wondering how he'd ever let this just be a one time thing. Their eyes locked, especially when Roman started thrusting faster, his dick hitting Dean’s spot over and over, making him whimper out, like a someone who was getting properly fucked… which he was.

Without warning, Roman picked Dean up in his lap, and caused the Republican to question his faith as he slowly rode him. There was sweat everywhere over their bodies, but Roman glistening was almost as good of a sight as his dick going in and out of Dean’s ass. Dean scratched up his back as their tongues and teeth clashed, his first time with a man becoming the best sex he's ever had. “Ooh fuck!” Dean heard Roman say as he grabbed his ass and started to control their movements. It shouldn't be this good, goddamn, Roman’s had sex tons of times but the chemistry between them, whatever this feeling was, Roman didn't want it to end. Maybe it was just the sex, sex was always good… no doubt he was just imagining the rest.. that's all it was.

“Fuck, I think I'm gonna!” Dean called out as his body moved quickly on top of Roman, they were experiencing this strange spark as their climax took over, Roman’s hands ran down his body, while Dean’s got stuck in his hair, tongues were wild, and movements were fast, almost robotic as Dean came on his chest.. and Roman followed, coming inside of him. They slowed down, but their kisses didn't, they were too wrapped up in each other to stop, even though there was cum on Roman's chest and a dick in Dean's ass. When they finally stopped kissing it was because of a need to breathe, foreheads pressed together lightly, and soft pants took over words.  

“Oh my god,” Roman laughed, while breathing heavily. “That was better than I thought it would be.”

“You thought I'd be terrible?” Dean laughed too, while pushing some red hair back, out of his face.

“Well, no, I just didn't think that it would be…” Roman slowly pulled out of Dean, and placed him on the bed, “That good, but fuck pretty boy, you have a tight ass, I like it.” Roman tore off the condom, tied it then placed it in his trash. He felt Dean watching him as he grabbed his hair tie from the desk, and began to put his hair up.

Dean laid back against Roman's pillows, when he left the room to clean up. _Fuck_. He just had sex with a guy, and it was amazing, more than amazing it was… indescribable. He smiled to himself, thinking about how his father would fucking kill him if he knew where he was right now. If only daddy could see his little Dean, being everything he's taught him not to be. Roman came back in his room only to see Dean smiling by himself. He kissed at his legs, then got back between them, kissing Dean softly.

“What's funny?” Roman asked, as he laid down next to him.

“Nothing,” Dean whispered, turning to look at Roman, who was already looking back at him. “I have to go to class.” Dean looked at his watch, it was _fuck_ … 30 minutes?... until his next class.. How long were they fucking for?  He sat up and started to put on his clothes again, while Roman watched him.

“Dean…” Roman called to him, making the young boy turn around. “I had a really good time with you.”

Dean smiled while zipping up his pants, “Yeah… uh me too..” He said, hesitantly.

“You should… ya know call me if you ever wanna… _do it_ again.”

“Uh… I don’t know about that… I…” Dean tried to think of an excuse to say so he never had to see this guy again… but what excuse would be good enough not to hop on his dick a second time?

When he didn’t finish his sentence, Roman decided to come up behind him, still fully naked, grabbing Dean from behind. Dean hated how good all his damn kisses felt, and he hated how he completely lost himself when Roman kissed at his neck.

“Stop,” Dean whispered, his words meaningless because he didn't want him to stop, but he also couldn't let this continue. So, Dean pushed him away, a little too hard, making Roman fall back on his bed.

“What the fuck?” Roman screamed at him.

“I told you, I _don’t_ want you,” Dean lied yet again, his own words making him feel like the biggest jackass in the world. “This… It was… a one time thing. I'm not gay, okay I have a fucking bright future ahead of me and it doesn’t include a husband. So don't fucking try to kiss me or… try to use your gay magic on me. I'm straight, I just.. happened to be curious one time.”

“You’re fucking kidding right?” Roman had to laugh because this is the first time he's ever dealt with a guy so far in the closet he could see Buckingham Palace. “Dean I just fucked you… my dick was in your fucking asshole, until you came on top of me. I didn't even stroke you until you came, you came from my dick alone.... You may not be gay but you're not straight, in case you don't fully comprehend what happened here… YOU JUST HAD GAY SEX!”

“ _Shut the hell up_ and keep your voice down!” Dean whispered, getting in Roman's personal space, “Okay fine, we had sex but it still doesn't mean anything. I wanted you. _One time._ That means nothing to me, you're not getting me to change my views or my fucking sexuality so why don't you just fucking back off?”

Roman couldn't believe it. He really couldn't believe he just had sex with this fucking right winged nut job. “Fine, you want to live your life with a closet full of clothes? Then by all means, but I'm out, and I'm proud of who I am, and nothing you or your god can say will change that. Now get the fuck out.” Roman picked up Dean’s satchel then threw it at him, causing Dean to stumble a bit.

There was tension in the room, partly because they were pissed at each other, the other because Dean didn't mean half the things he was saying. He was just too much of a chicken to admit it. Dean didn’t say anything else, and Roman wouldn't even look at him as he held the door open for him, and Dean left the room.

He practically ran out of the dorms, the fresh air was calming as he placed his body against a brick wall. _Fuck Roman._ Dean thought to himself. _Fucking jerk._  Dean closed his eyes, and counted to five, then opened them slowly. What was this? What was fucking happening to him? Questions went unanswered, and flashes of Roman came back into his mind as he hid by the bricks, and underneath his own self loathing. Dean didn't want too, but he betrayed his mind just one more time to look up into Roman's window. He could see his silhouette he was still naked, but now it looked like he was on the phone.

Dean sighed, cursing to himself as he began to walk away to class, but with each step Dean took it was becoming harder for him to understand why his heart was telling him… to go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay not many people like this, so I don't know if I should continue. If you do, here's a part 2. Comment or kudos would be amazing! - Melle


	3. High For This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jack invites dean to the one place where chemistry and biology collide.

Dean remembered his first kiss.

He, unlike all of his friends, was a little late to the ‘hookup’ party in high school. He just kept saying to himself that it would happen, that he would eventually find a sweet girl, and finally get to be someone's boyfriend and in junior year of high school… it finally did. Her name was Faye. She was a sweet, outlandish beauty, with short brown hair that always seemed to curl at the ends, and cute clear glasses with roses on the sides... and Dean could've sworn that he was head over heels in love with her. He took her out on a date, after flirting for months, on one warm Friday night, and while they were eating ice cream, a very nervous Dean leaned over and gave her the quickest of kisses on the lips. Faye was surprised at first, but she still smiled and soon, they were kissing on the bench at the park at nighttime.

But in the 4 years he's kissed Faye, and the months he stayed with her even after they both knew it wasn't working, Dean never felt any… passion. They grew comfortable with each other, yes, Faye was like… his _sister_ in a sense. They did everything together, but there was no spark, no burning desire for each other, it was just.. familiarity, which wasn't a good thing if Dean really thought about it, feeling like family to a girl you're supposed to want, no _crave_ , was a dilemma… one that Dean never thought to completely explore until last week.

Last week…the week Dean officially lost his mind when he both kissed and then fucked another boy. The same boy who he now couldn’t get off of his mind. It had to be some sort of sick karma… that _Roman_ , was in his every thought, every dream, and every stupid fucking emotion, even though Dean lied to him and told him he never wanted to see him again.

_Ugh._

Dean turned over in bed, forcing his knees to his stomach, sighing softly against his pillow. For five days now, he'd been trying, trying _really_ fucking hard to keep his mind off of Roman. Which was really fucking hard to do when you're trying to write a ten page essay and end up daydreaming about him entering you for the first time. _Fuck_ . Dean told himself that he just wanted it once… that he only wanted _him_ once. Honestly, everyone experimented in college… so Dean thought it would be no different, just a one time fuck, scratching a strange itch he had since high school…  and then he'd never have to see him again… but boy was that was so _fucking_ naive. Dumb, in a sense to think that he could fuck Roman once, and not gain feelings, stupid, to think that he'd let himself believe that he could get it of his system…

Or get _Roman_ out of his thoughts.

Dean tugged on the strings to his hoodie that  was already over his head, fluffing red hair in his face. He tried his best to keep his mind from drifting off to Roman again, so he decided to look at his alarm clock. It was almost 8. Almost 8pm on a Friday night and Dean was upstairs alone in the frat house. There were dorm parties all over campus tonight so the entire house scattered out to a few. Jack asked Dean if he wanted to go, but like the inclusive idiot Dean usually was, he told him no. The last time he was at a dorm party he met a guy, a _cute_ guy, who gave him the best fuck of his life, then Dean hurt him,  because he was scared of what it meant to want Roman more than once, what his religion would say, his politics… his fucking family. Basically everyone in Dean’s life, would never accept this…

So Dean had to let it go.

He groaned, closing his open window to keep the cool night air out.. then he fell back in bed, forcing his eyes to close. The best thing to do would be to sleep the night away, keep the thoughts of Roman and his great dick on the very dark abyss of his mind and go to sleep. That actually sounded like a great idea, Dean thought as he snuggled up by his pillow.  He was ready to fall into a deep sleep, but before he could, his phone buzzed near his arm. Dean pulled his hoodie off his head and picked up his gold Iphone and clicked on the messages. One was from Jack, and one from his mother. Dean ignored his mom for now, just so that he could read Jack’s texts.

**Jack: Dude, Friedman hall party has tons of hot chicks tonight, you might even get laid for once. You coming out?**

Dean rolled his eyes at the message, quickly texting jack a firm ‘no’ before clicking his phone off again. Dean forced his head back into his pillow, trying to get comfortable again but somehow, blue eyes traveled towards the clock once again.

 **8:10pm**.

Dean groaned to himself… he actually had nothing left to do. He handed in his assignments early, and had no other essays due until the end of the month. The only other thing he could do is what he's been doing all week and that was sulking while thinking about Roman and fuck, Dean didn't want to think about him anymore. He didn't want to think about _anything_ anymore and that wasn't going to get accomplished by just lying in bed. He said fuck it, got up, and stretched, then went over to his closet. Dean pulled off his hoodie, then replaced it with a polo shirt, a pair of tight blue jeans, and some sensible shoes. Dean fluffed his hair up in the mirror, giving it the just rolled out of bed look,  then breathed out slowly, before grabbing his phone to text Jack again.

**Dean: Okay, dude, you're so lucky I'm bored, I'll be there in like 20? Friedman Hall right?**

Jack didn't text Dean back right away, in fact, he didn't text Dean back until Dean was walking out the door, towards campus.

**Jack: Friedman got boring after like 10 minutes, chicks left so quick after seeing a ton of guys, and Summer went to bed so we're headed to Newman, where are you? Meet us there!**

Dean read the text and suddenly his whole body froze in time. _Newman hall_. The last time he was there he was riding a dick. Newman hall is where Roman’s dorm was, and probably where Roman himself was at this time of night. Dean got anxious just thinking about it. What would he say if he saw him again? _Oh hey, remember that time we fucked in your room and then you kicked me out for being a jackass?_ Yeah, right.

Dean’s feet felt like cement as he walked across campus towards the Newman dorm hall. Flashes of the last time he was there ran through Dean’s mind as he got closer. _“... your dick feels so nice and snug against my ass right now, I could just ride you raw_.” The door was open, possibly because the fat security guard was sleeping at his post, so Dean just slipped right through. His thoughts became that much heavier as he made it to the end of the hall, where the party seemed to be. _"Your first time is going to be me… watching those pretty blue eyes as I fuck you.”_ He came in, and the first thing Dean did was survey the room, he wasn't looking for Jack, or Cody… but for him. Dean just wanted to make sure that Roman wasn't there, and thankfully… he seemed to be nowhere in sight.

Dean smiled, his heart seemed to get lighter as he began to walk through the crowd of dancing idiots. He saw Jack in the corner, talking to what looked like a goth girl. Dean had to laugh because he knew Jack and Summer were basically married, but Jack was a flirt. He liked making girls feel special, sometimes to a fault. Dean came over towards them, waving at Jack, with a relieved and calm smile. Maybe this night wasn’t going to be as bad as he assumed it would be. Dean passed a few more people, coming slowly over to Jack and suddenly…

Dean heard a familiar laugh.

“Ha! Finn stop it!” Dean stopped before he could reach Jack, and saw Roman, in the corner of the room with some guy who from what Dean could hear, had an Irish accent. Roman had his hands around his waist while the guy whispered things in his ear, making him laugh. Dean felt like he was frozen in time as he watched Roman shamelessly flirt with the other guy. The guy sipped slowly from his black cup, smiling when Roman grabbed at his ass, while they laughed near each other’s mouths.

_Fuck him._

Seemed to be the first thought in Dean’s mind. He stood there, just watching Roman feel all over the guy like he was just doing with Dean a week ago. Dean didn't know why he felt like someone was punching him right in the heart. Roman _wasn't_ his, it was just sex… _once_ , nothing more. That’s what Dean said he wanted...

Right?

“Finn!” Roman laughed even louder, this time the Finn guy was the one feeling him up. He watched Finn's hands come around the back of Roman's thighs, and he grabbed his ass with both hands, causing Roman to giggle. Dean's heart sank, his blue eyes turning shades darker while he watched Roman and Finn stare at each other the way Roman stared at him last week. The chemistry between them was evident, even more so than with Dean… or at least that's how it looked for the young republican. Dean’s breath caught in his throat, and he turned away, thinking that maybe he should leave… and never show up at Newman hall again but...

_“Dean! Hey! You made it!”_

_Fuck._

Jack called out Dean’s name, and it made Roman look up, almost immediately. Dean got enough courage up to fake a smile, ignoring the look on Roman’s face as he walked over to Jack, and the girl he was talking to, “Hey dude, I knew you'd make it.” Dean and Jack hugged then pulled apart once more, “This is Paige, she's cool. How about you two talk while I go get you some beers?”  Jack slapped Dean’s shoulders then winked at him suggestively, before walking off towards the kitchen. When he left, Dean's eyes couldn't help but to shamelessly look over at Roman… who was already eyeing him. They gave each other one long look, before turning away, and focusing back on the Paige girl.

“So… your name is Paige huh?” Dean asked, and the girl just nodded, “That's cool uh.. are you a republican or a democrat?”

“Are you fucking serious?” The girl with the obvious british accent laughed right in Dean's face, “You're asking about political parties the very first time you meet someone new? What a loser.” She walked away, not soon after that, without giving Dean a chance to say anything else. Dean was so embarrassed… add not knowing how to talk to girls onto his fine resume of never socializing despite being in a frat, and getting jealous over boys who aren't his.

He banged his head against the wall, trying to salvage this night by waiting for Jack but his eyes disobeyed him by yet again looking over to where he knew he shouldn't be. Now, Roman was alone, Dean didn't know where Finn was, and he honestly didn't fucking care. His brown eyes were watching him. Dean let his guard down, for just a second to look back at Roman. There was tons of people between them, cups, drinks, music… but all of it seemed to fade to the background while they stared at each other.

Dean honestly couldn't breathe, the room was feeling small by Roman's presence alone. _What is he doing to me?_ Dean had to ask himself. One minute he's fine, his values are in check and his life is set for him and the next… he was fucking other boys and wondering how he could feel heartbroken over one who wasn’t his. Dean forced himself to look away, he couldn't do this anymore. Fuck he had to go. He couldn't wait for Jack another minute, not when Roman was there with another fucking guy.  

Dean made sure not to look at him as he bolted straight out of the party. He tried to walk as fast as he could, towards the entrance, towards freedom from thoughts and jealousy... but before he could get anywhere near the exit, he was forcefully grabbed by the arm, by the one guy he knew it had to be. The one guy he _wanted_ it to be. Roman pulled him by the arm towards his room, not once letting go, even when Dean tried to pull away, pretending to fight his grip, but he only held him tighter. They didn't stop until they reached his room. He tossed Dean inside, then the door was locked and slammed shut behind them.

“What do you want?” Dean spat at him. It was pitch black in the room, but Roman's presence still was prevalent. It was almost like he could feel him there, despite them not touching or him saying a word.

“Why the fuck are you here?” Roman asked, his tone deep, kinda like he sounded when he was inside of Dean. He leaned down and turned on the light, and immediately they looked into each other’s eyes.

“My friend invited me,” Dean would’ve said a smart remark back, but for some reason, his mind told him not too. He couldn't describe what he was feeling right now, but it sort of felt like a punch in the stomach… repeatedly. Why? He didn't know. He fucked this guy once, that was it… that should've been… it. “I didn't come here for you… if that's what you're thinking.”

“Then why did you leave as soon as you saw me with Finn?” Roman crossed his arms in front of him, and waited for an answer.

“That's not why I left, I don't give a fuck about you or your butt buddy,” Dean whispered, his blue eyes blazing before he looked into brown, “I.. embarrassed myself in front of a cute girl tonight, and it was overwhelming.. so I had to get out of there. Okay? It had nothing to do with the fact that you had your hands all over some slutty guy,” Dean didn’t need to add that last part in, but for some reason he felt the need too. God, he wished he could just keep his mouth shut… just for fucking once.

“Finn isn't just some slutty guy, he's my ex.” Roman confessed, while looking at Dean who rolled his eyes as soon as he admitted it.

“Didn't look like much of an ‘ex’ to me, you had your hands all over him and.. he was whispering in your ear and you guys were all over each other.” Dean realized now… that his jealousy was showing, in his voice and thoughts. He tried to force his thoughts about this man, and the way he fucked him to the back burner of his mind for an entire week. But now, looking into his eyes he couldn’t just let what he saw go. How could he fuck Dean one week like he never wanted to fuck anyone else… and then feel on another guy in front of him the next?

“So?” Roman said back, shrugging.

“So?” Dean couldn't believe he was being so nonchalant about this, “So do you always feel up on all of your fucking ex's? Or do you just fuck whoever is available in that moment?”

Roman actually laughed at him, it wasn’t a laugh full of humor, but one bred of anger and sarcasm, “If you're trying to call me a slut, it won't work, Dean. I sleep with who I want, when I want, because I’m _single._  Nor do I owe you an explanation on anything, because the last I checked, I fucked you, then you left because you were fucking scared. So don't you stand there, with your pretty blue eyes and holier than thou attitude and try and slut shame me for feeling up on a guy I dated for 6 years.” it was Roman's turn to roll his eyes at him. He couldn't believe that Dean tried to call him a slut, actually he could. Dean was a fucking jerk who confused Roman but also made him feel.. strange. A weird, strange that Roman's been trying to ignore for a week now.

After Roman slammed down his slut shaming, Dean was quiet. He had his hands folded together and his eyes averted, down to the floor.  When Roman realized Dean wasn’t going to say anything else, he turned to go to his bed. Dean didn't let him go though, his wrist was grabbed, and Roman was pulled back in, forced to look at Dean again.

“You fucking frustrate me,” Dean whispered, his breath now becoming uneven. “Before you, I knew who I was, and what I wanted, and now you're all I _fucking_ think about.” Dean slowly let go of Roman’s wrist, and breathed out heavily, while looking deep into confused brown eyes. Dean felt like such a jackass, admitting that he was jealous, that he couldn't stop thinking about him to a guy who saw right through him even when no one else could.

“You think I don’t think about you?” Roman confessed, looking away from Dean for just a second. “I think about you too, you asshole.  I don't even know why… since you're a fucking republican _jackass_ , and you definitely don't deserve my patience, or my body…or _me_ but, for some reason I… can't get you out of my mind.”

Dean didn’t know why, but those words were the one's he was hoping to hear. He felt Roman pull him, by his waist then push Dean up against the door to his room. His heart beat so fast, especially when Roman smiled at him, and pressed his forehead softly against Dean’s. “I want you to stay the night, pretty boy… all night.” Roman whispered it near his lips, causing Dean to release soft gasps of breath from his lips as his blue eyes took him in. “Say you'll stay?”

Dean breathed out softly, Roman’s hands were at the middle of his waist, holding Dean like he had been last week. So Dean’s own nervous and shaky hands wrapped around Roman's neck, and softly… he nodded. “I'll stay,” Dean said., ignoring everything his mind was screaming, for the way his heart was pounding. Their noses nuzzled softly against each other’s, brown and blue eyes locked, the chemistry between them crackling just like before. Dean held his hands on the base of Roman's neck, and soon… Roman’s lips met his in a dangerously soft kiss.

Dean felt like he was high, Roman’s body, his kisses, had to be some sort of drug. What other explanation could there be for the way Dean's mouth opened so easily for his tongue, or the way his legs spread for him to fit into. Could there be a true reason that Dean felt more religion in the way Roman grabbed his ass, than he ever did going to church on Sundays? Was there was reason why he felt science in his touch, chemistry in his lips, and a true divine being when their bodies collided?

They kissed all the way to Roman’s bed, and didn’t stop when they fell on it together. Roman stopped to laugh when Dean’s hair fluffed up from the fall, but they were right back in the zone a few seconds later, hands everywhere while their tongues did the talking for them. Roman was in the middle of trying to unzip Dean’s jeans when…

“Roman? Are you in there?”

They both stopped, looking at each other quick before pulling away. “Shit. It's Finn. I forgot all about him.” Dean didn’t want to blush when Roman said he forgot all about Finn but… fuck it he couldn't help it. He ditched his ex boyfriend for him, no one has ever made Dean feel that special before. “I should answer it,” Roman told Dean, before he kissed him again, smiling as he saw Dean smile.

“Do you want me to go?” Dean asked, nervously.

“No, stay, get naked if you want… but I definitely don't want you to go.” Roman gave him one last quick kiss then got up and walked to the door. He opened it, and went out to Finn, closing the door behind him so Finn couldn't come in the room.

There was chatter outside the door, Dean couldn’t hear it very well but apart of him kind of didn't care. Roman chose him, for tonight and even though last week didn't end the way neither had hoped, Dean wanted this night to be different… he wanted it to mean more than just a one time itch… If Roman was a drug, Dean wanted to be high 24/7.

He stood up, and took off every article of clothing he had on, stripping himself down to absolutely nothing. He heard the door open again, and Roman came back in, and immediately smiled at Dean standing there naked, his palms and chest red as he innocently looked back at Roman.

“Dean,” Roman whispered, breathlessly, slowly walking towards him.

“You said I could get naked, so I did… and I want you to know, I want you, and if you want me…” His blue eyes shined against the moonlight as he spoke softly, “... You can have me.”

Dean remembered his first kiss with Faye at the park bench at nighttime… but Dean would never forget the time Roman scooped him up in his arms, grabbed at both his naked ass cheeks, and kissed him passionately. His hands found a home in the samoan boy's hair, grabbing onto thick locks as he was kissed to the bed, and shown once again…

How science was created in between Roman's thighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support shown last chapter. This idea came to me one fine night and now its spiraling into something more lol. But your support means everything to me, know that you're all very special to me. *cries in ambreigns* - Melle


	4. I Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean can't get enough of roman and for once... that seems like a good thing.

Dean's whole body was quivering.

He woke up, with his legs spread, bended at the knee, and a sea of black hair between this thighs. Dean moaned, shaky fingers grabbing at thick black locks as Roman's tongue slowly.. found its way inside of him. The light from Roman's window came peering in through his curtains, shining on Dean’s pale body while Roman's big, pink tongue thrusted deep in… and out of him, tasting, teasing, and making Dean his. He whimpered, head tossed back against Roman's pillows, while he experienced a new, crazy, and fucking  _ amazing _ feeling. 

They spent all last night having what seemed like makeup sex, or at least the way Roman fucked him was like he was making up for lost time. Being away from this man for an entire week was possibly the stupidest thing Dean ever thought of doing… especially after last night, where Roman put a permanent stamp on his body, mind and heart…

As if it wasn't there anyway.

“Roman!” A breathless moan choked out of Dean’s mouth when Roman grabbed up under both of his thighs, squeezing the flesh while he ate him out. Roman loved when he made Dean moan, and loved how eager he was, and how cute he looked when he was on the verge of coming. Somehow Dean began to stroke himself while Roman's tongue fit so deep inside of him, that tight, small, puckered entrance loosened around his tongue, and once again Dean was his, kind of like he was all night long.

“Fuck… it feels so good, I can’t hold on… I'm gonna come!” those were the exact words Roman were waiting to hear, he looked up, his brown eyes downright dangerous, while his tongue purposely moved slower than it was before, to do nothing but stall Dean's impending orgasm. The blue eyed boy watched him, his heart pounding and breath quickening while he was forced to watch Roman stall his orgasm. “Roman… fuck, please go faster… I need it!” He was begging now, but fuck it, if it meant that he got what he wanted from him, then he'd beg him all morning.

Thankfully though, Roman listened, Dean’s ass was grabbed, and legs pushed up near his stomach, so Roman could have a better view. He didn't waste any time thrusting his long, fat tongue deep inside of the young republican, fast just like Dean wanted. The young boy moaned out the loudest moan Roman was ever able to get out of a man in five minutes… his red, pulsating head bursting out thick white cum, running down Dean’s dick, slowly, like a beautiful orgasmic waterfall. Roman kept going inside of him until Dean was basically jelly in his strong arms. He placed his legs back down then kissed up them slow, trying to ignore his need to place Dean's fallen cum in his mouth, as he kissed his lips softly.

“Mm.”  Roman smiled as he kissed him, Dean's whole body feeling like clay while his arms wrapped around Roman's neck. “I was right, you taste good everywhere pretty boy.” Roman kissed Dean one last time before falling to the other side of him, both boys panting, while looking up at the ceiling. 

“I've never had sex so good... that I physically… can’t move right now,” Dean laughed lightly, while breathing heavily next to Roman. “Like if you asked me to move, I'd have to decline… because I'm properly fucked and it feels… fucking great.” 

“Mmm, I do love praise,” Roman laughed too, smiling when he saw Dean smile. “I might have to ask you to move though… because there's something..” Roman took off his own boxers slowly, revealing his own, very hard erection. “That needs to be tended to… if you're up for it?” 

“You want me to suck your dick?” Dean asked him softly, innocent blue eyes becoming as dark as his thoughts. Since they met Dean wondered what it would be like, to suck Roman’s dick, and now he was getting a chance to do just that and strangely… Dean wasn’t afraid too.

“Yeah, I do. But only if you want too… I can easily jerk off later or-” Roman’s sentence didn't get to be finished because Dean was already climbing on top of him. He watched Roman’s surprised brown eyes look back at him as he slowly began to kiss down his chest. Roman’s bottom lip tugged slightly between his teeth while Dean kissed each ab, pink lips dragging over them, making him moan, then he stopped when Dean came face to face with his dick. 

_ Fuck. _ It was so damn pretty. 

There was no hesitation that was there before when they first had sex. There wasn't any fear either, Dean actually wanted this… even though his brain was telling him no, his body and mouth was screaming yes. Those ocean blue eyes gave Roman one look, a deep, lust riddled stare as he placed his pink lips around Roman’s thick reddish head, and slowly began... to suck.

“Mm.. that feels good…” Roman praised Dean for not biting him when he could've easily done it, “Wait…” Roman adjusted Dean's head a bit, “Now relax your jaw,” Dean did as Roman asked and within seconds he had Roman moaning out loud.  _ Damn _ . Dean never felt fucking power like this, to have someone completely at his mercy by his lips alone… he felt like he was on top of the world. 

“Dean!” Roman had grabbed at his red locks, running his fingers through Dean's post sex wild mane while the republican sucked him off like a pro. “Oh my god..” Roman whimpered out, he thought nothing would beat the blow jobs he used to get from Finn but it turned out Dean was a very fast learner, “Take more in, but also grab my sac,” Dean looked up at him and did as he told, ready to go deeper when…

“Oh my god Roman, you could've at least called me to let me know you were fucking!”

Dean and Roman both looked over to the door to see Roman’s roommate and best friend, Seth coming into the room. He slammed the door behind him and that's when Dean released Roman’s dick and quickly hid underneath his covers. Roman laughed at the way Dean was hiding, he could tell he was embarrassed, so Roman gently rubbed his back and whispered to Dean that it would be okay. 

“You said you were going to be at Hunter’s house all weekend… how was I supposed to know you'd burst in mid blow job?” Roman sucked his teeth, realizing now that Seth was there, Dean was probably going to leave.  _ Ugh. _ He loved Seth, but he truly hated when he would just pop up out of nowhere after not being seen for days.

“Hunter’s wife came home early,” Seth replied sadly, plopping down on his bed, and sighing. ‘We were having such a great time all cozied up by his fireplace then her car pulled up in the driveway. I was butt ass naked Rome, he made me put all my stuff on in the kitchen then left me the keys to his lexus so I could drive all the way back to campus by myself,” Seth fell against his pillows, while Roman turned to console a nervous and hiding Dean, “So who's the guy hiding? Let me guess… it is a certain computer nerd you've been crushing on for months? HI, I'M SETH NICE TO MEET YOU.” 

“Seth shut up,” Roman warned him, “Dean, I promise he won't say anything just come out… please,” Roman pleaded with him, and slowly… the blanket fell off Dean’s head.

“I should go, I have a meeting back at Cappa anyway,” Dean whispered it to Roman, his blue eyes still frightened but for whatever reason he trusted Roman to keep his secret. If he said he wasn't going to say anything then he wasn’t. 

“Cappa…” Seth spoke anyway, despite Roman telling him to shut up. “Wait Cappa-Si? The frat full of those Republican white boys?” Seth sat up again and laughed out loud, trying to get a good look at Dean. “Oh my god this is like better than Christmas. Roman is hooking up with a guy who probably thinks that one day, we'll all burn in the firey pits of hell. ICONIC.”

“SETH! SHUT! UP!” Roman now yelled at him. But it didn't stop Dean from getting up and putting on all his clothes on in a hurry. “Dean wait… let's talk.” Roman tried to plead with him.

“Yeah,  _ Dean,  _ lets chat!” Seth so patronizingly said to him. Roman got up, ignoring Seth to come over to Dean who seemed to be shaken up a bit. 

“Hey… I promise, he's just being a jackass, he won't say anything okay, look at me,” Roman reached up to touch his face, and that's when he and Dean locked eyes. He gave Dean a kiss right in front of Seth, one that left the taste of him on Dean's lips, then he helped him get dressed. “Text me, I'll be free later.” Roman wanted to kiss him again but he could tell by Dean's drop in mood that he wouldn't want too. What Dean did do was hold onto Roman's hand tightly, and give him a hug. Roman grabbed at him, while glaring at Seth to keep quiet. Seth rolled his eyes at the lovebirds, and then Dean exited the room. 

Once he was gone, Roman came straight over Seth and slapped him on the hard against his forehead, Seth whined, but still laughed at his friend, “What the fuck was that, Seth? Why did you do that to him?” Roman asked, in a fit of anger. 

“Why don't you tell me?  _ Jesus, _ Roman you're really hooking up with a republican, christ loving, Trump supporter? Is the dating pool around here that shallow now you have to look into the bottom of the barrell?” 

_ "Fuck you," _ Roman spat back, going over to his bed, falling on it, and sighing, “It isn't like that. It's different with him…” Roman shook his head, “We have.. this  _ crazy _ chemistry, and I like him. Yeah, he's a jackass, and he thinks in this… crazy one sided world view, but he's sweet okay? It could be just sex but, I like the way I feel around him. So, don't judge me okay?” 

Seth listened to Roman, and he couldn't help but to think about Finn, in contrast to this Dean guy. Roman never talked about Finn like that, they dated for 6 years yet he never spoke about chemistry or anything more than how great Finn's dick was.  He could tell Roman was sprung, and it was fine with Seth, as long as Roman knew to protect his heart. He was still a little bit in love with Finn and Seth didn't want to see anyone hurt Roman the way Finn did, and still  _ does _ to this day.

“Okay… fine, he's cute… in a way,” Seth confessed, looking over at Roman from his own bed. “I see the appeal, I mean, the red hair has to go, but he's got a certain something and since you like him so much, I'll keep my thoughts about him being a bottom feeding, right winged, nut job to myself… for now.”

“Thank you, I appreciate your kindness,” Roman sarcastically replied, while rolling his eyes, “Alright, I'm gonna sleep, I was up all night.” Roman pulled his blanket over his naked body, and turned the other way. Seth got up, kicked off his shoes and then into Roman’s bed with the bigger man, putting his arms around Roman's waist. He felt Roman hold his hands in his own, and they both closed their eyes. Roman was about to drift off to sleep but… not before Seth asked him one last question.

“One more thing...  is he a top or is he a bottom?” Seth whispered in his ear.

“Seth really?” Roman laughed with his eyes closed, “Right now, I'd say he's a very  _ hungry _ bottom… but I'm gonna change that .. soon enough,” He could practically hear Seth smirk at him, “Ew, shut up… I'm sleeping.”

Seth giggled against him, “Fine, I guess I'll sleep too.”

* * *

Dean got back home a little bit later, it was like 6 am, and he didn't have class until nine so he could at least get some sleep. He had hoped he wasn't walking funny when he came inside and quietly closed the door. Dean walked up the stairs to his room, with a smile permanently on his face. It was like he had… butterflies, when his mind went to thinking about Roman. He opened the door to his room, kicked off his shoes and then fell backwards onto his bed. He smiled at the sun coming from his window, and the little bird chirping by the big tree. Dean snuggled deep into his pillow, ready to fall into a deep sleep when he heard his room door open. He turned to see it was Jack, who happened to have a somber smile on his face as he saw Dean.

“Hey man, I saw you leave the party last night,” Jack said, coming over to sit on Dean’s bed. “Then you didn't come home and I was worried… did something happen?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Dean whispered, then looked away from Jack’s wondering eyes. “That Paige girl blew me off, and you were flirting with the blonde with the short hair so I just decided to leave and just walk around, and clear my head. You know those types of parties are not my scene anyway.” Dean hoped Jack would believe him, otherwise if he got suspicious, Dean would have to make his lie more intricate and he was honestly too tired for that.

“Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking leaving you alone with that hot goth, you don't know how to talk to girls to save your life.” Jack playfully pushed Dean, his best friend just nodded, a soft blush forming on his face. “We’ll find you someone, man… a girl who's good for you, like Faye. She was so good for you, and family approved. We gotta find someone like that again for ya.” 

Jack patted Dean's head, fluffing his red hair before exiting the room. Dean watched Jack go, a guilty pain forming in his side when he left. Dean wanted to tell Jack that he kind of did find someone, even better than Faye… but he wasn't a girl. That it was a boy he liked and that boy made him feel things Dean didn't even know existed. He sighed, falling back onto his pillow. If there was one person he wanted to be honest with it was Jack, he was his best friend in the world, but Dean didn't know where to start. He closed his eyes, hoping that one day… he could be honest and tell Jack everything.  


* * *

When Dean woke up about 5 hours later, he realized he missed 3 classes. Dean's blue eyes slowly adjusted to the light again as he felt around for his Iphone. He found it near his pillow, and automatically Dean opened up his messages, anxiously hoping he got one from the one person he wanted a message from.  


**Mom: Hello, Darlin! You're coming home for break… yes? Call me, momma misses you.**

**Jack: Dude, you missed poli-sci, Professor Vasquez was looking for you.**

**Roman: Hey, cutie, I have no classes after 3, you should come over and hang out with me? xoxo.**

Dean texted Jack back first, telling him that he overslept but still handed in his assignment early so he was in the clear. He completely ignored his mom, again, this time to write Roman back. Dean’s stomach felt so fluttery as he typed out that he would be there around 4 or 5. He looked over at clock, it was almost 1. He had another class then he could be all Roman’s all night long… just the way he wanted it to be. Dean got up to grab his stuff for the shower when his phone beeped one more time with a message.

**Roman: Make it 4 instead of 5. My sheets still smell like you. I can’t wait to see you soon, pretty boy.**

_ Fuck. _

Dean couldn't wait to see him either.

* * *

The bell rung on Dean's last class of the day, and honestly he couldn't wait to get out of there. Thoughts of Roman and the night they had, and this morning's sexcapades, stayed in his mind, so much so that introduction to revisionist history looked more like a pornhub exclusive than a teacher giving a lecture. He saw Roman's smile when he closed his eyes, and imagined his perfect dick while trying to take notes. For once in Dean's life, being distracted by someone felt like a good thing, instead of a burden. The professor dismissed everyone and that's when Dean packed all his stuff up in a hurry. It was almost 4 and he didn't want to be late seeing Roman. He didn't say anything to Jack or Summer or Cody except a wave goodbye before he bolted out of the classroom. He made sure Jack and crew weren't behind him as Dean slipped through campus, ducking underneath buildings to get to the other side where Newman hall was. 

The security guard was actually awake this time around so Dean couldn't just enter the building on his own volition. He sighed, walking slowly towards him so he could gain access inside.

“Hi, uh I'm here to see Roman?” Dean said softly, looking around to make sure no one he knew saw or heard him. 

“Ahh, yeah the boy with the red hair and dimples, Roman told me you were coming,” Fat security guard pressed the buzzer, and smiled at Dean, “Have fun.” the guy winked at him, and Dean looked at him oddly in return before walking inside. He made it down the hall, to room 109, which was Roman's room. Dean knocked nervously, anxiously waiting for Roman to open the door and when he did…

Holy..

Fucking...

Hell...

Roman did not disappoint.

He wasn't wearing  _ anything. _

Except boxers and a smile. 

“Hey pretty boy,” Roman said, pulling Dean by the collar into his room. Dean allowed himself to fall into his arms easily, kissing Roman quick while Roman began to undress him. He took off Dean's jacket, his books were placed on Roman’s computer desk  and his laptop was put underneath. Once Dean was free of his school restraints Roman pushed him up by the door, and they started kissing like crazy. Dean felt Roman’s lips devour his own in a hot, wet kiss. He grabbed at Roman’s waist nervously squeezing his sides. Roman, liked the way it felt when Dean touched him so he moved those pale hands down towards his plump ass. Dean grabbed at his tight cheeks, squeezing Roman like he was his… or at least his ass was. It caused Roman to bite at his bottom lip, to keep from moaning. “Mm, you sure know how to grab an ass.” Roman teased his lips over Dean’s, making the blue eyed boy smile.

“You have a nice one,” Dean said back, smiling. They both kissed and laughed their the way to the bed, where they fell down on it, together, with Roman on top. The Samoan man’s back arched as Dean’s hands moved down to grab at his ass yet again. He held it in his hands while their tongues connected over and over, slowly, exploring their own chemistry. Dean stilled against him, nose nuzzling Roman’s while both of them giggled near each other’s mouths. 

“I like your lips,” Dean whispered, thumb caressing over Roman's lips softly.

“I like you,” Roman said back, his lips puckering to kiss Dean’s thumb. 

Dean blushed, his heart beating fast as he looked back into brown eyes that were shining back at him “I think.. I like you too.” 

Moments passed between them after Dean’s admitted he liked him. Roman didn’t say anything, neither did Dean. Their eyes spoke for them, blue and brown wordlessly giving off the emotion they both felt in that moment. Two weeks it's been since they met and already both of them felt like they’ve known each other for years. 

They decided nothing further needed to be said. After a while they kissed again, and began to laugh about nothing, and… everything. Dean never had someone he was so physically attracted to, almost challenge him mentally. Roman was hot but he was also smart, and knew what he was talking about. They started to talk about life, and politics, which was Dean’s favorite thing to discuss. He thought he always had the upper hand, especially on liberal idiots who didn't understand how good of a president Nixon was. But Roman was different, he took everything Dean said, actually listened then gave a good argument to Dean’s opposition. Dean couldn't believe he actually found someone he liked debating with…

Speaking of which...

“...No! Seriously, taxing the wealthy a higher tax than middle class is a terrible idea. It means that we're getting taxed through our assholes, losing money just so the middle class… let's call them what they are,  _ socialists _ , can cry about equality and riot in our streets. No thank you.”  

Roman laughed at how ridiculous Dean sounded, “Oh my god, no taxing the wealthy  _ should  _ be about equality, we should live in a society where there should be no reason Obama had to show a birth certificate but Trump didn't even need to release his tax returns. You don't have to be a  _ socialist _ to understand basic human rights.” 

Dean didn’t know why but he was actually turned on by how smart Roman was. He smirked, and leaned up off his chest to give him a couple of soft kisses. Roman kissed him back, and laughed against his lips when Dean tried to put his tongue in his mouth, “This conversation isn't over mister.” Roman mumbled between kisses.

“Let’s table it for later, right now there's something way better than politics that we can discuss…” Dean's hand moved down slowly from Roman's chest to his abs, towards his boxers. Blue eyes caught brown when Dean put his hand in Roman's underwear, and began to stroke his semi hard erection. Roman's bottom lip dropped from how turned on his was by Dean’s confidence, and how good his hands felt around his dick. “I think I should pick up from where I left off this morning… don't you agree?"

Roman wanted to agree, he did. In fact apart of him that didn't even want to respond, just let Dean have his way with him but.. Roman also wanted to  _ know _ him. He already knew they had crazy sexual chemistry, but that's all he knew about Dean. That, and the fact that he was a republican, and came from a rich family. Roman wanted to know more about him, and he couldn't do that if every time they met up… they had sex. So he slowly pulled Dean’s hand out of his boxers and then kissed him softly.

“You can have me later… Right now, I just… wanna know more about you. I don't think I even know how old you are,” Roman blushed, “Tell me something I don't know?”

“Okay, what do you want to know?”  Dean got comfortable in Roman's bed, once again laying his head on his chest, to listen to Roman’s heart beat. “I'll tell you anything.”

Roman had to smile as he heard Dean say he would open up about his life. Roman never had a guy so willing to talk to him about his personal life like this before. Not even Finn. “I don’t know, we can skip the awkward elementary and middle school years, just… tell me whatever you're comfortable with telling me.” Roman said as he softly played with strands of Dean’s red hair.

“Okay… well, I'm 19… turning 20 soon. I am a political science major, I..  like photography, but I don't really express that part of me too often. I only dated one girl my entire life, uh… I'm a junior leader of the Young Republican’s of America committee, and before I met you, I never thought that sex with someone could feel..  good.” Dean blushed as he said the last part, no doubt that Roman wouldn't judge but it was hard not to think about  the ridicule of it all.

“You had sex with girls only before right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then… it makes sense.” Roman caressed his head, and breathed out evenly, his chest rising and falling along with Dean’s head. “Dean… have you thought that maybe… you might be gay? Or is that still not a possibility for you?”

“I… can't be gay,” Dean said back… in a voice so low Roman could barely hear him. He didn't say he wasn't gay, he said he  _ couldn’t  _ be… meaning whatever was in his life was preventing him from ever being able to.. be himself. “My father is Richard Ambrose, he's one of the wealthiest men in the sugar companies today. I'm from Texas for god sake, my dad wouldn't even let me go to Houston on weekends with my friends because he didn't want me to pick up a black girl. My mom is a trophy wife, a real southern belle, you know, with the big hair and lemonade in a pitcher in one hand, magazines in the other on a hot Austin day?” Roman laughed at Dean's depiction of his mom, “They're both devout Christians and Republicans. If they knew I was even here, lying on your chest I'd get a switch whipping good,” It was the first time Roman heard Dean’s accent in full force, it was cute. “So I can't be gay… even though I think… I'm not… straight.

Roman listened as Dean described his home life and everything that was holding him back. He actually understood where Dean was coming from, Roman had a supportive family but he could only imagine growing up gay in a Christian republican household. He felt for Dean, so much so that Roman wanted to protect him from it all even though he knew he couldn't. He fluffed red hair out of Dean’s face, then brought him up so they could kiss. Dean still had the softest lips, and he was so eager, a trait that Roman loved. They kissed for a long time, with Roman wrapping his arms around Dean in a protective hold while his tongue slowly linked with a Dean’s over and over.

It was five long minutes of just making out before Dean felt his phone ring on his pocket. He pecked Roman's lips over and over, smiling at him while he pulled out his phone. Dean looked at the caller ID and suddenly, he pulled back from Roman, confusing the samoan boy when he sat up and answered it.

“Hello?” Dean said, looking at Roman suspiciously.

“ _ Hey Dean, I was hoping you'd answer. Can you meet me at your dorm? I really want to talk…. please? It's important.”  _

“Yeah, anything you want… uh huh, I'll be there.” Dean hung up right after that, then started to put on his shoes and grabbing his stuff. “I uhh I have to go.” Dean said in a hurry.

“What?” Roman sat up, confused as to what was happening. “Who was that and where are you going?”

“That was my ex, Faye, look you may not understand it right now but… I have to go okay, if she's there I can’t keep her waiting.”

“Why not? Why are you acting like you have to drop everything for this girl who happens to be your ex of all people? We were just making out and now you're just.. fucking leaving?” Roman felt a frog in his throat as he watched Dean put on his clothes. It was like two weeks ago… except this time Roman wasn't angry, he was just confused, and that confusion made him feel… sad, like he didn't want him to go.

Fuck… he didn’t want him to go.

“Look there's things about me, that you'll never understand okay? I have to go… even though I rather be here with you.” Dean sighed, especially when Roman looked away, disappointed in Dean's answer. He grabbed his stuff, then leaned down to give Roman a soft kiss. Roman kissed him back, despite him being visibly upset. “I’m sorry,” Dean whispered against his lips, kissing him one last time before he left to go be with his ex girlfriend.

Roman crawled up in bed, sadly sighing as he laid his head on his pillow. He didn't know what the feeling he had come over him was.. but it sure as hell felt like jealousy. He closed his eyes and sighed, thinking about just going to sleep when his phone buzzed near his pillow. Roman picked it up, thinking it was Dean but it wasn't… nope it wasn't Dean at all.

**Finn: I'm in the mood for 9 inches of you down my throat and in my ass… you interested?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do you think Dean left Roman to go to Faye that quickly? Will Roman text Finn back? Hmm.. -Melle


	5. Call Your Girlfriend pt1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> call your girlfriend...

Dean hated this feeling.

That feeling of missing someone, you're not supposed to miss. The gut wrenching guilt he felt, whenever he thought about that one person he shouldn't want. When he woke up, his tired blue eyes adjusted to the sun light floating in through his window. There was a familiar body next to him, but not the one he wished it was when his eyes opened. Her hands were too small, her chest was too full, and she didn't smell like fresh, ripe coconuts on a small beach in Miami. In fact, Faye couldn’t smell like  _ him _ , and she never would. 

She held onto Dean, and there was a smile on her sleeping face as she probably dreamt about their future together. Three days ago, Dean left Roman’s dorm to go meet Faye, and the conversation that followed left Dean here…  _ without _ Roman, and back in a relationship he knew didn't work, because she didn't have a tribal tattoo going down her left arm, or long black hair that was fun to grab while riding, or tempting brown eyes… because Faye wasn’t  _ him _ , and most importantly Faye wasn't… a boy. 

_ “Your mom and my mom got together last week, and they double teamed me, asking me if we were still dating. I couldn't even give them a straight answer Dean, because I don't even know if we're together or not. You never broke up with me! You said you needed space and I gave you that, for five long months but now it's time to tell me what you really want… cause I refuse to keep lying for you. So do you want me or not? I want our relationship out of limbo and  I fucking deserve the truth… don't I?” _

Faye asked him that three days ago, and instead of being truthful with a girl who has known him since he had bad pimples on his face, Dean lied to her. He lied and told Faye he wanted to get back together despite the fact that he was just in bed with another man, and despite the fact that he had absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever… besides friendship. Dean dug his own deep grave and inside of it he found that secrets and lies don't make comfortable bedfellows. He sighed, touching Faye’s face softly, as he thought back to three days ago.

_ “The truth?” Dean said back, shaking his head, “You want the truth? Fine… I…I still love you, and I want us to be together. I didn't break up with you because I didn't know if I was ready for this yet, a real full commitment but I am now… I'm ready for us Faye, let's get back together.” _

Dean felt like a jackass just thinking about it. He didn't want to lie to Faye, but she came all the way down to the campus just to talk to him and Dean was scared. He didn't know what to do, and he couldn't tell her the truth so he decided to lie, it was the best option… even though that lie meant losing Roman.

_ Roman. _

The simple thought of him made Dean feel all warm and fuzzy. He missed him so much, but after two days of no contact, the constant text messages from him stopped. There were no more calls either, it was like Roman had finally given up and you know what? He had every right too. He deserved someone better than Dean, someone could live in their truth, and make him happy. Dean wanted to make him happy…  _ fuck _ he really did. He missed him, every single day, but Faye was here now, and this was good for him,  _ better _ for him….

At least… he hoped it was.

“Hey babe,” Faye woke up slowly, smiling as she looked up into blue eyes. “I’m hungry.. wanna go get breakfast?”

“Uh sure,” Dean nodded, “Anything you want.” 

* * *

Later on that same day.

“Hey Rome,” Seth said as he entered their dorm room. He had came back from classes, only to see his best friend, deep under his covers, pretending to be sleep. It's been like this for 3 days now, ever since Roman told him what happened with him and Dean a couple of days ago. Roman hasn't shown up to any of classes and stayed in bed for most of the day only getting up to shower, and drink water before he went back to sleep. Seth hated that his best friend was hurting like this. Especially over a fucking dick head like Dean. He kicked off his shoes and got in bed with him, feeling Roman move over to let him in. 

“Romie,” Seth whispered, touching his arm slowly. “You can't keep missing classes over some republican dick head. I know he hurt you, and you have every right to be upset, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, even cuter ones too. Ones who would appreciate someone as gorgeous and sweet as you are. Roman… please, look at me.” Roman slowly took the covers down and looked up at Seth at his request. “What can I do to make this better hm?” Seth asked, “How about… if you want, I'll give you a one time free pass to sleep with me for one night only, if it helps you get over the ginger.”

Roman found himself actually smiling at Seth. He hasn't been able to find a reason to smile in three days. He cupped Seth's face in his right hand then sighed softly, “The moment I fucked you, you'd fall for me, we both know you would…” Seth didn't respond to that, he just blushed, “...and honestly I can't lose you as a friend. Especially now when… I need you the most.”  Roman saw Seth playfully roll his eyes, but smile as well. He lifted the cover off of both of them, and then sadly looked up at the ceiling.

Silence took over for a while, before Roman spoke again, “Why am I so hung up on him Seth? I’ve only known him like two weeks. I shouldn't feel heartbroken over an asshole who won't return my calls.” Roman groaned, placing the pillow over his face to scream into. Seth grabbed it from him, then sat up and hit Roman with it playfully.

“You're hung up because you like him you jackass, which is okay, Roman. It's okay to like someone after Finn ya know? Yeah, Dean happens to be an idiot, but I think it's more because he's trying to figure out who he is and what he wants, while Finn, that fucking jerk, was trying to sleep with other guys while you two were in a committed relationship.”  

Roman rolled his eyes at Seth, he really wished he didn't bring up Finn. Roman still sorta had feelings for Finn and whatever they had wasn't entirely resolved, so whenever someone brought Finn up, Roman felt.. tense. “You know he texted me three days ago asking for a quick fuck?” Roman sighed, “I told him to go fuck himself, and don't text me after he's had a few pints.” 

“Good for you!” Seth smiled happily, “I'm glad you're not letting him into your fun house anymore.” He playfully grabbed Roman's ass and made Roman laugh before he pushed his hand away, “You deserve better Roman, even if it's not with Dean, you're hot, and cute, and smart as hell. You'll definitely find someone better.” Roman sighed, looking off sadly. Seth realized this pep talk wasn't working so he tried another approach, “You know who's also hot? Me.” Roman looked over at him curiously, “You're hot, and I'm hot..  let's be hot together. How about we go out tonight. Dalton is hosting his monthly ‘karaoke night’ down at the Rabbit's Foot bar, and I could use a little song therapy because Hunter is playing happily married man yet again… so what do you say?”

“Seth I don't know…” Roman was hesitant.

“Please? I will love you forever and ever, and ever and ever…” Seth nuzzled softly against him, making Roman laugh.

“Ugh. You know I hate karaoke bars, and Dalton Castle is the worst person alive, but I'll go... for you.” Roman watch Seth clap excitedly, then he jumped into his lap and hugged him tight. They looked at each other, and then kissed chastely on the lips, before Seth hugged him again. “Okay, let me go now or I'll be forced to carry you with me to the shower,” Roman tried to tell his best friend. 

“Looks like you're gonna have to carry me,” Seth  whispered against his ear. 

“That can be arranged,” Roman said back, breathlessly picking the giggling Seth up and carrying him off to the bathroom.

* * *

**The Rabbit's Foot: 11pm.**

When Seth and Roman got to the bar, Dalton was on his 4th set of Madonna’s greatest hits. Roman saw a couple of guys from film class so he told Seth he'd be by them…. plus it was a good way to avoid Dalton. Ever since they met a year ago through Seth, Dalton had been trying to hookup with Roman, but he wasn't exactly Roman’s type. He came off too strong every single time they interacted, so now, Roman did his best to actively avoid him.

Roman watched him and Seth smile at each other and hug, then talk for awhile before Seth pointed in Roman's direction. Roman was sipping on beer when he noticed Dalton all too happy to see him… and now he was making his way over with Seth in tow. 

_ Fuck. _

It was going to be a long night.

A few blocks away, Dean and Faye were coming out of an ice cream shop together. Faye had told him a political joke, and Dean only halfway laughed, and then took a slow lick of his ice cream from his cone. The short brunette noticed how Dean seemed these past few days since they got back together. He was quiet, spacing off, unfocused. It wasn't like the Dean she knew at all. Faye kissed his cheek, causing one of Dean’s dimples to appear slightly, blue eyes coming upon her giving off a sad, but warm smile. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Faye’s southern accent came out gently as she asked him, “You seem down… is everything alright, you know, with us?” 

“What?” Dean was taken aback by the question, he didn't mean to show Faye how depressed he was. He thought he had been good at hiding it but fuck, he guessed he was shit at it, just like he was shit at pretending this was working,  “I'm... fine,” he faked a smile, “Trust me.” Dean put his right arm around her, and Faye held it close to her, lacing his fingers in her own.

“Okay good, cause I'm really glad we got back together. I… missed you so much Dean.” Faye kissed him on the lips this time, and when Dean closed his eyes he saw  _ him. _ It made the kiss that much more enjoyable to picture Roman’s lips on his own, and him in Roman's arms instead of the truth of living the lie he chose for himself. 

“I… am too,” Dean told her once they separated. They held hands down the block, awkwardly trying to enjoy the silence when Faye noticed a bar. She stopped in front of it, causing Dean to stop as well.

“Look, Dean! It's karaoke night. Remember karaoke nights back in Austin? We had so much fun singing Donnie and Marie! Let's do a duet… please?” Faye begged him but for some reason Dean was hesitant.

“I don’t know, Faye, this looks… kind of lame.” 

“Please, baby?” She asked again, grabbing him towards her, “Come on, if you this one thing with me tonight… I'll finally do that thing you like me to do,” What Faye was referring to was blow jobs. She was a good Christian girl who didn't really believe in blow jobs but she did it for Dean once… it was terrible, she bit him three times. Dean had nothing to compare it to really until he met Roman. Who was now the gold standard of any blow job Dean would ever receive. Dean’s dick jumped just at the thought of Roman’s lips around him again. “Dean!” Faye pushed him, getting him out of his thoughts, “Can we go in yes or no?”

“Fine, we can.” Dean conceded, taking Faye’s hand and following her inside. 

When they got in, Dean noticed the atmosphere seemed lighthearted, and happy. There were people all around, some hanging by the bar, others at the tables, some dancing, and others singing on the stage. Faye took a seat in the middle with Dean, and they both watched as a man sang  _ Livin On A Prayer _ loudly. He was off key, but Faye seemed to love it, and right now that's all that mattered. A girl came up after the man’s set was over and she asked to play Whitney Houston’s upbeat song  _ “How Will I Know.” _ the song began and that's when Faye whispered to Dean that she wanted something to drink. Dean nodded and told her he'd be right back, getting up to go to the bar for them both.

_ There's a boy I know, he's the one I dream of... looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above. _

Dean came over to the bar, and asked for two beers. The bartender told him okay, and while he waited Dean's eyes began to scan the room. His fingers tapped gently against the bartop, to the beat of the song playing in the background. Dean looked around, aimlessly at the sea of people but then... in the corner, by the back exit, is where he saw  _ him. _

_ Oh I lose control, can't seem to get enough, uh huh. _

Dean's heart beat fast, once blue eyes came upon him.  _ Roman. _ It had to be dream. One of those bad ones he kept dreaming about him for days now. The ones where he had given him up for a lie, the ones that happened to be reality.  Roman was laughing with Seth and whoever else was at the table but there was one moment. One fucking moment when time stopped, Roman looked forward, and he saw Dean too. 

_ How will I know if he's thinking of me?  _

Dean’s heart was thumping in his chest, as blue eyes caught brown. It was like everything else in the room seemed to stop, freeze, slow down as they stared at each other. He waited, his breath escaping slowly just to see if Roman would at least smile at him... but there was none. Nothing but a blank, emotionless stare as they looked at each other from across the room. Dean wanted to look away, he  _ should _ look away, he hurt him, he lied, he was a jackass to him… but he couldn't. His heart felt like a race track, and his mind was running miles a minute as he thought of what he could do. 

“That'll be 14.50.” The bartender interrupted Dean's thoughts and his line of vision as he placed the two beers on the counter. 

“What?” Dean said back, almost breathlessly.

“14.50. For the beers dude?” 

“Oh um…” Dean began pulling out his wallet but as he did he looked back up towards Roman who was now getting up quickly, and leaving out the back exit. “Uh.. nevermind!” Dean yelled fast to the bartender, before running out the back exit after him.

Dean was out of breath when he saw him walking down the cold the street fast, by himself. “Roman!” He yelled out, and once he did… Roman stopped in his tracks, but he didn't turn around. Dean came closer, hoping that Roman wouldn't keep walking. His shoes moved slow, each step feeling heavier as he finally stood behind him.

“Leave me alone Dean,” Roman warned him, without turning around.

“You know I can't do that,” Dean said back softly.

“Fine, then I'm leaving,” Roman began to walk again.

“Wait! Roman, please let me explain?” Dean begged, watching him stop yet again. Fuck. Dean hated that he forgot his jacket inside because it was cold as hell out there but he still walked until he caught up with him again. He placed a hand on Roman's shoulder, and watched him slowly turn around. “I'm sorry,” Dean said outright, trying to hold his shoulders for warmth. 

“That's it? That's your big explanation?  _ I'm sorry? _ ” Roman rolled his eyes, “I don't give a fuck about your sorry. Just… leave me the hell alone from now on okay?” Roman began to walk away yet again but Dean wouldn't let him get far. He grabbed him this time, forcing Roman to turn around to look at him once more. “Get off of me.” Roman told him, his tone deep, and serious.

“No, Roman. I won't let you go until you listen to me okay? I didn't mean to blow you off.” Roman sucked his teeth at him, “Okay, fuck, I did but not in the way you think.” Dean slowly let go of Roman, and both of them breathed out evenly, hearing nothing but the soft whistle of wind blow past them. “I lied to you our first time. When I told I was single? It wasn’t entirely true. Faye and I… we never really broke up. I did tell her I needed space and she gave me that but, she's family approved, my mom knows her mom, my family knows her family,  and they are all best friend’s and they basically asked Faye when we were gonna get back together so Faye got scared… she's been lying to everyone in town keeping up appearances for me, while I was there..  in bed with you. I couldn't do that to her anymore. So I told her we could give it another try…”

“You fucking asshole!” Roman told him angrily, “You used me for sex then went running back to your ex girlfriend?  _ Fuck you. _ I hope you have fun with her, living your stupid  _ fucking _ lies because you will  _ never _ have me again.” Roman pushed by him hard, trying to make him move but Dean stopped him, pushing him softly against the brick wall of the bar, forcing brown eyes on him.

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO,” He screamed at Roman, “I have this life back home, I have a family  expecting me to succeed and one day become president of the United States. Then I am here, and I think everything is cool and my life is on track, but then I meet you, and when I'm with you, I feel free. I feel happy, and content and no pressure and you're always in my  _ fucking _ head but I love it. I want you all the time and I don't know what that means, but I'm scared Roman. I'm FUCKING SCARED because I feel like I'm not being truthful to myself.”

Roman was let go again, this time Dean pressed himself against him, his eyes on Roman's, and their breath so close they could practically feel each other’s emotions.  “If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I promise, I will. Just say it and I'll go.” Dean whispered it near his lips, brown eyes full of confusion, and lust as he looked back at the one boy who seemed to be ruining his entire life in good and bad ways. 

“I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

As soon as Dean heard it, he grabbed at the back of Roman's neck and pulled him in for a deep passionate kiss. Fuck how he missed those lips, and the way his hands felt on his body. His arms were still cold but his body was beginning to warm up from the taste of him alone. Roman’s hands slipped off of him to take off his own jacket. He freed himself of it before wrapping it around Dean's cold shoulders, pulling him close to himself so their bodies were flush against each others while they kissed again. 

Faye went looking for Dean by the bar after she realized he had been gone for a long time. She got up and asked the bartender if he had seen him and the bartender told her all he remembered was a red headed guy running out the back door. Faye told him thank you before walking out the back, with her purse and Dean’s coat in tow. At first she didn't see anything except two people far down the block who seemed to be in a heavy makeout session. Faye didn't want to disturb them, so she quietly began to walk past but as she got closer… 

Her heart dropped.

_ Dean _ was the one making out… 

_ Dean, _ was the one cheating.

Right outside the damn bar and the worst part of it all was… it was with another boy.

_ Her Dean _ had his body wrapped up in another man’s coat while his tongue moved in and out of the guys mouth.  _ Her _ Dean, was currently having his ass grabbed and letting out light moans and giggles against this man's lips. Faye felt tears full in her eyes as she watched Dean smile and giggle with this boy, nose nuzzling before he kissed him yet again…. she gasped, sadly, losing her breath as she watched the scene in front of her.

“Dean?” Faye shouted after a minute causing both Dean and Roman to stop what they were doing to look at her. 

_ “What the fuck is this?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> support your fanfic authors by leaving a kudos and a comment, I've seen so many fics get stopped because fan support wasn't there. Also stop telling fic authors to write for themselves! OF course we write it for ourselves. That's why we do it, but it's also amazing to know how readers feel about each chapter. It's what keeps authors going. So support your favorite fics, whether it's mine or someone elses because we honestly cherish the feedback! -Melle
> 
> Song of the chapter: How Will I Know? - Whitney Houston.


	6. Call Your Girlfriend pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .... it's time you had the talk.

Dean never thought he'd fear words.

He was raised, by strict, Christian parents who made him read the bible at night before bed. His father, despite being one of the wealthiest men in the country, was a very hardened man. He took the bible as law, and made it so Dean and his sister Becky, understood that God was always watching.. but somehow, hearing Faye shout “what the fuck is this?” at him while in the middle of an intense make out session with another boy, scared Dean more than the bible or his father ever could. Faye was not only his girlfriend, but more like Dean’s  _ best _ friend. She loved and cared about Dean in times where it seemed like no one else would… and this was how Dean repaid her.

“ _ What the fuck is this?”  _

The sentence striking fear in him as Dean slowly pulled away from Roman. They stared at each other, then at Faye at the same time. It was like, time stopped, everything seemed frozen, except for the look Faye gave them, her sad green eyes filled with tears, her face sullen, distraught, confused and angry. Dean felt like his whole world was crashing down, he let his emotions for Roman overpower his thought process, and kissed him even though he knew Faye was inside. 

And now?

Now, he really didn’t know what to do. Well, he could lie, and tell Faye that he was forced into this, that Roman forced kisses on him… but in the process he’d lose Roman forever and that’s the last thing he wanted. He could try and tell the truth, he could tell Faye that Roman was someone he had been casually dating, for a few weeks and watch as his life ended once and for all, when Faye eventually told his parents. Either way, Dean was fucked… he had no true solution to this, that wouldn't end with Faye or Roman's hearts broken forever.

“Did you  _ fucking _ hear me?” Faye yelled at him, “I SAID WHAT IS THIS DEAN? Are you FUCKING CHEATING on me?” Faye pushed him hard, making Dean stumble back a bit, “And with another man? You left to go get beers only to come out back and rough trade with another guy?” Faye pushed him again, harder than before, and this time, Roman stepped in. He stood between them, causing Faye to stop dead in her tracks.

“Hey! Let's keep our hands to ourselves.” Roman said sternly.

“FUCK YOU!” Faye shouted in Roman's face. She was crying her eyes out, and Roman could tell she was hurting, she had every right to be upset but he wasn’t just going to let her abuse Dean. “MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!” 

“Guys!” Dean came in between both of them, pushing Roman back gently. He looked into his eyes, and he saw how worried Roman was for him. “Let me talk to her alone... okay?” Dean whispered, touching his chest softly. 

“LET YOU TALK TO ME?” Faye was livid, “I'm your GIRLFRIEND AND YOU NEED PERMISSION TO TALK TO ME?” 

“Not permission, Faye, calm down.” Dean saw Roman back off, and he began to walk away, leaving space for Dean and Faye to talk. Dean tried to ignore the sad feeling he got when Roman left, so he could focus on Faye. “If you let me… I can explain. But we can't talk if you're screaming and I'm screaming, we'll get nowhere.” 

Faye didn't say anything, but she did sniffle, then nod. Dean held his hand out for her to take, and that's when Faye held it in her own. “Let's go somewhere quiet okay? How about the coffee house?” Faye nodded again, and that's when they both took off, with Dean not realizing that he was still wearing Roman's jacket.

The coffeehouse, _ “Grounds” _ was a campus treat, open all night for the kids who needed caffeine while cramming.  Dean ordered two black coffees then he and Faye sat in the corner. Faye looked out the window, holding the small black coffee in hand as tears ran down her face. Dean knew he had hurt her, and in the worst way too. He shouldn't of ran after Roman, or kissed him but he couldn't help it. He liked him alot… but he never meant for Faye to be a casualty of his emotions for Roman. 

There was silence for awhile, Dean blew into his mug, then drank slowly, watching Faye cry. He wanted to console her but he didn’t know if it was appropriate or not too right now. She wiped her face, then finally she looked at Dean, who was waiting for her to say something… or anything.

“So… who is he?” Faye asked, her voice coming out, mousey and sad.

“His name is Roman,” Dean said back, fingers fiddling around the cup nervously. “He's some… film major, very liberal, gay guy I met at a dorm party Jack dragged me to a couple of weeks ago.” 

“You met him at a dorm party?” Faye said curiously. “Since when do you go to those?”

“I don’t. God, I didn’t even wanna be there to begin with, but when I was alone in the corner, he came up to me and flirted, and at first I was an asshole to him, but the next thing I knew.. I was making out with him in his dorm.” He saw Faye cringe at that, which he expected. She was his ex after all, and this was a lot of information at once, "At first, I tried to just chalk it up to too much beer cause you know, I can be a lightweight sometimes, but I…” Dean looked away from her judgmental expression. “I had sex with him a week later.” he mumbled that part under his breath.

“What?” Faye was beyond shocked, “You had sex… with another man?” 

Dean just nodded.

Faye put her hand over her mouth as tears ran down her face. She couldn’t believe any of this. Dean, her boyfriend, her best friend was telling her he fucked another guy and it was like her heart was being ripped right out of her chest. 

“Please don't cry,” Dean whispered, reaching out to touch her… but Faye pulled away so he wouldn't be able too.

“Don’t sit there and tell me not to cry Dean, you’re my _boyfriend_ and now… you’re honestly telling me that after 5 fucking years of us, you might be… gay?” Faye was breathless as she spit it out. All of this was new to her, she… couldn't believe it.

Dean looked at Faye, who was crying her eyes out. Her glasses were fogging up, and she still had this shocked look on her face but Dean could tell she was waiting for an answer. This was it. This was the moment in Dean's life where he either decided to be a man, and be truthful or forever live with regrets. “I don’t know, Faye.” He finally said, looking at her, as she lost her breath, “I don’t know… but I do know that... I'm not straight.” Dean said, his blue eyes averting down.

“Dean… what the fuck? How can you say you're not straight? This is a sin, you  _ know _ it is… God will punish you, your parents… what will they think?”

“YOU THINK THAT I DON'T KNOW THAT?” Dean shouted at her. He looked around to see people staring at them, so Dean lowered his tone, “I repressed all of this shit for years, because I know what the bible says. But what god would let me kiss a man, and feel more  _ passion _ than I ever felt before if it was wrong? Huh?” Dean asked seriously, “When I kiss him... I don't know, something indescribable happens to me, it's like a fire, you know, a spark that passes through our lips and when he touches me… my whole body feels alive… you know?  When he's gone, or I’m just in class or something, I can't stop myself from thinking about him. He's  _ all _ I think about. What god would allow that to happen, would allow me to like him the way I do, if it's so wrong?”

Faye listened to Dean, and suddenly she started crying again. Dean said he never felt passion before kissing Roman. He said he felt alive when they touched, and suddenly Faye realized that she never felt the way about Dean the way Dean feels about Roman. 

“If you feel this way about him, why didn't you say something? Why did you lead me on?” She had to ask, it was a fair question.

“Honestly?” Dean sighed, “When you came all the way down from Austin, I don't know… I got scared? I guess. You were my past, back in my present and you deserved more than me telling you that I was seeing a guy behind your back. I don't know why I didn't tell you the truth right then and there when I should've. I should've told you that I met a boy, that I had sex with Roman, on multiple occasions, that it wasn't just a one time thing, and I should've told you I like him… a lot. That I don't know if that makes me gay, but I do know that I am so attracted to him, and he makes me laugh, and he makes me  happy.”

As soon as Faye heard, “He makes me happy,” she got up out of her seat. “I have to go,” She said suddenly, grabbing her coat and walking towards the exit.

“Wait!” Dean shouted before she reached the door, “Are you going to tell my parents?” Faye stopped, turned to look at him then sadly shook her head. Dean had no idea if that was a yes or no, but as she ran out of the coffee shop, he realized he needed to prepare for the worst.

~

Roman got home to his dorm, and he was feeling low. This whole Dean situation had him thinking about Finn, and how he treated Roman at the ends of their relationship. He had a thing for assholes, and Finn was the biggest one of them all. He asked Roman for an open relationship 6 years in and when Roman said no, Finn cheated… and once Roman found out, he broke up with Finn, moved back to campus with Seth and never looked back. Now, he was in a love triangle with a guy he knew wasn’t going to choose him in the end but would he ever learn? 

Roman sighed, ready to just go to bed when the he heard three knocks on the door. He got up, to open it only to see Dean there, in his jacket, with a somber smile on his face. “Hey,” Dean said softly.

“Hi,” Roman whispered back, standing in between the door. “How did the talk go?”

“Well… I was honest with Faye. I told her that I liked you, and that we had sex, _more than once_ and she cried and she most likely hates me and will probably tell my parents,” Dean looked down for a second, then looked back up to see Roman smiling at him. “Don't smile you ass, I'm probably going to get disowned or something.”

“I'm smiling, because you look hot in my jacket,” Roman came outside his room and made Dean walk backwards until he hit the wall, blue eyes looking up at him innocently, “And I'm smiling because you owning up to shit when you could've easily lied is probably the sexiest thing I've ever had a man do for me.” Roman towered over him, nose nuzzling Dean’s as they both smiled at each other. 

“I don’t know what it is about you, Roman but I like you, and I want to see where it goes.” Dean kissed him chastely, then was pulled into Roman’s dorm room by his jacket. Roman pulled it off of him, tearing it down his broad shoulders, then walked Dean towards the bed. He watched Dean plop down on it with a mischievous smile, blue eyes glowing as he looked up at him. Roman smiled back as he took off his own jeans, then sat comfortably down, very comfortably, on Dean's lap. 

“I wanna see where it goes too.” Roman said, right before kissing him softly. Dean held him at the waist, smiling into each kiss. He had no idea what the future held, but if it had Roman in it… then Dean figured everything else just might be okay.

* * *

 

Seth got in around 7am, and even before he entered the room, he could hear moaning coming from their dorm. Again there was no 'do not disturb' sign so, Seth just walked right in. There, he saw the covers moving back and forth while Dean presumably rode Roman’s morning erection. They were kissing like crazy so they didn’t notice Seth, but holy hell were they hot. Seth cleared his throat to get their attention, but they were too busy laughing and smiling as they fucked. Seth never knew two men who had the connection that they seemed too. He seemed good for Roman, despite everything. 

“Ahem!” He exclaimed loudly, making Roman and Dean pause their sexual escapades to look over at him. “I've been standing here for five minutes while your boyfriend rides you, have you ever heard of a do not disturb sign?” The impatient boy asked, looking between Roman and Dean.

Roman laughed, and Dean did too, before he hid his face in his hands. “Eh,” Roman shrugged, “Even if it did say that, you'd walk in anyway, because we all know you like watching me fuck Dean.” Roman accused him, making Dean giggle against his chest.

“What?"Seth scoffed, "How dare you... I don't care who you fuck,” he said back, looking away.

“So the fact that, my dick is currently in Dean’s ass… and when I do this…” he thrusted in Dean hard, surprising him and making him moan out loudly, while causing a gasp from his best friend. “It does nothing for you?”

“Roman!” Dean whimpered against him, “Fuck… oh my god… don't do that!” Dean was blushing hard, and it made Roman smile while looking at Seth.

“Shut up Roman you're gross, and Dean you’re gross too!” Seth yelled at them.

“Hey, I did nothing!” Dean tried to defend himself which was hard to do with a dick up his ass currently.

“Whatever. I’m leaving, I'm going to Hunter’s, he texted me anyway, and I much rather be there than here, trying to sleep while you two fuck all day.” Seth grabbed some stuff from his drawer then placed it in his knapsack. He gave Roman a glare then huffed, before he exited the dorm.

Once he was gone, Dean punched Roman in the chest lightly, making the Samoan cough out a laugh, “What the hell was that?” He asked, with a smile.

“Nothing, it's just fun to make Seth uncomfortable. He's my best friend but we try our best to stay out of each other’s personal lives. I don't say anything about the forty year old man he dates that has a wife and two kids, and he says nothing about the sexy ginger republican I happen to have sex with before and after classes.” Dean blushed at Roman’s description of him, then hit him again. Roman ran his hands through his sweaty red hair, then smiled at Dean’s reddened cheeks.

“That's all I am? The red-headed republican you date? I might lose everything for what we are… I think I'm a little more than that… don't you agree?” Maybe, it was too soon to ask, but since they met everything seemed like it was going in fast pace. Dean didn't want a declaration of love, he just wanted to know if Roman was willing to try this, because he just possibly given everything up to be with him... he just hoped it was worth it. 

“You are more than that, yeah, sure, but, I don't want to label this you know? Yeah, you like my dick, and my kisses, but will you in a month? Will you in three months? I rushed into a relationship before and it took 6 years out of my life and I'm only 24. I want you, but you're new to this, men I mean, and I dunno, in a few months you might see someone better, and want to be with him.” Roman touched Dean’s face softly, exhaling out of his nose as those blue eyes looked up at him. He was feeling Dean more than he wanted to admit, and it was good that Dean decided to be truthful to his ex, but there was still so much they didn't have in common, and so much they didn't know about each other. He didn't want to label it if this was just a fling, a fling he could handle… being in love with another man after Finn… Roman wasn't so sure of.

“I've seen many guys on campus, and I'm in a fraternity for christ sake, trust me, if there were another guy I wanted more than you, I wouldn't be here right now. I know this is all new to me, but once I told Faye about you… I felt so free. I don't know if she's gonna tell my parents, or not but I do know that, I'm ready to try to live my life without fear. That means, fear of god, fear of my parents, and fear of being someone I'm not. I wanna, try with you. We don't have to put a label on it, just promise me you'll try with me too.” 

Roman smiled at how mature Dean was. He could've easily lied to Faye, and went back to pretending for the sake of politics or religion but he decided he wanted something real… to try something real and that was admirable. Maybe Roman was afraid of commitment after Finn, and maybe he didn't wanna fall in love again, but he had someone new, fresh, who wanted something with him and if Dean wasn’t scared, then Roman wouldn't be either.

“Fine, you win, we can try… but that means no more secret girlfriends,” Dean laughed, but not for long because he felt Roman's dick slowly finding it's way back into his puckered entrance. His mouth hung open when he felt Roman deep inside, and slowly, he began to thrust yet again. “... and no more denying how well you take dick,” his brown eyed temptation looked deep into blue eyes as he fucked him tenderly, like he was delicate, “Are you ready for that?” 

“Yes!” Dean moaned out, laughing at the way his words came out so needy, “Yes, you bastard…” he kissed him slowly then looked into his eyes, “I'm ready.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you for the support! It's why there's a new chapter early! Questions to consider: 
> 
> 1\. Since Roman is afraid of being in love again, can he fully commit to dean?
> 
> 2\. Will Faye tell Dean's parents?
> 
> \- Melle


	7. Three Months, Rough Sex, and an Irishman.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean likes roman... maybe more than he should.

Dean liked it rough.

He figured that out when Roman pushed him up against the stall of the bathroom, fresh water covering both their bodies as Roman fucked him like he hadn't just been inside of him just last night. His hands were all over Dean, squeezing his pale skin while his dick thrusted deep inside of him.  _ Fuck. _ Dean was lucky that there were no people around at 6 am in his dorm because if there were, they would hear him moaning, quite loudly while being fucked by a guy he was starting to become really crazy about. 

It was been three great months and a couple of weeks and every single day was happier than the next, thanks to Roman. He was great. So sweet, attentive, smart, and sexy as hell and, he challenged Dean, both mentally and physically. He made Dean see his side on views like abortion rights, taxes, and war, without judging Dean on what he believed as well. They had long conversations and soft debates between kisses and laughter and cuddling.

Boy, did Dean like cuddling.

He liked it when Roman held him when Dean decided to stay over at his dorm, or brush off homework for him, and he liked morning kisses even when Dean didn't brush his teeth yet. Roman would still give him the softest kisses, and a smile to start his day. Dean especially liked the way Roman began to pick up on his cues about what he needed in that moment and what he didn't. He liked learning about Roman's family, and how supportive they are to him and most importantly…

He loved fucking him.

Roman was, is, and will always be the standard when it came to sex now. He was rough at the times Dean wanted him to be, and Dean found out how much that actually turned him on... but he could be soft too, caring and sweet all at the same time. He was everything Dean wanted in a person and more, and somewhere between the months passing by, the hard thrusts inside of him and Roman’s brown eyes meeting his own blues… Dean realized.

That he was falling in love with him.

_ Yes, _ it was too early to fall in love three months in, and  _ yes _ telling Roman now would do nothing but scare him off, but Dean felt it, every time they locked eyes, or smiled or laughed with each other… he  _ felt _ it. He knew he was falling for him in such a short time too and that scared Dean, because he also knew Roman  _ didn't _ feel the same. 

“God!” Dean whimpered against his lips, when he felt Roman turning him around, the water being turned off and Dean’s ass being pulled roughly towards him. Roman softly kissed his lips before pushing in yet again, hearing Dean let out a loud moan as he fucked him fast from behind. “Oh my god,” Dean gasped, mouth slightly open as he looked back at Roman, while he controlled his hips and pounded hard into him. 

“Instead of god, you should try saying  _ my _ name, you know the guy who’s deep,” he thrusted in hard, “inside of you, say it baby, what's my name?” Roman whispered it in his ear while he kept up his pace. Dean ass quite literally jiggled against Roman's pelvis area with each thrust of his hard dick inside of his favorite red headed treat. Roman slapped it, and that only egged Dean on more, he reached down and started stroking his own dick while Roman had his deep inside of him, “Say my name baby, I wanna hear it.”

“Roman!”  _ Fuck. _ That bastard actually made him say it. Another thing Dean liked about him. His ability to get Dean to try new things without forcing it on. Roman speeded up even quicker now, and fucking hell Dean couldn’t hold on. They kissed like crazy, the moment, the feel, and that chemistry was alive when they were on the brink. His head fell to Roman’s shoulder when they began to come together.  

After yet another intense make out session, pressed up against the shower stall, Roman pulled out and they kissed their way back to his room. Dean looked at the clock, it was 7:30 and he had a class at 8.  Roman was getting dressed for his morning class, so Dean decided he should too. He placed his underwear on, the boxers that made Roman laugh because of how stark white they were. Dean saw him giggling, then he came over, and wrapped his arms around Dean from behind, kissing his cheek.

“I really want to take you shopping.” Roman whispered next to his ear.

“You've been telling me that for months,” Dean laughed lightly at him. 

“I know, and you know I love your cute white boxers, but, Dean you have such a  _ nice _ body, yet you hide it underneath these polo shirts and khaki pants. You know what? Here…” Roman took out a long sleeve shirt from his drawer. “It's not too tight, but nice enough to show off those tight abs and can make you look hot, even in the winter. Try it on.” 

Dean smiled, taking the shirt and placing it over his bare chest. He looked into the mirror in Roman's room and realized… he  _ did _ actually looked hot… like really hot. Roman came up behind him and grabbed him at the waist, smiling through the mirror. 

_ "Wow," _ He said breathlessly, “Look at you… see? I was right. You're hot as hell.” 

Dean blushed, then turned around to give Roman a kiss. He smiled into it when Roman grabbed his ass, and made a joke about being inside of him again. It was moments like this, times like these where Dean fell even more in love with him… 

and that feeling scared Dean more and more each day.

* * *

Later on that same day, Dean had poli-sci but he wasn’t really paying attention. He kept thinking about this morning, and the smell of Roman all over the shirt he was wearing. Dean kept smelling the ends, and smiling, not realizing that Jack was watching him with a confused look on his face. 

When the bell rang in class, and Dean looked at his laptop, and realized he took only a few notes.  _ Fuck.  _ He was too busy daydreaming about Roman and getting lost in his scent that he barely typed anything legible.  _ Damn, _ Dean thought. Now he'd have to borrow Jack’s notes. 

Dean got up, and started putting his stuff together when his phone buzzed in his pocket.  He smiled when he saw that he had received a snap from Roman. Dean opened it, and immediately his bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he looked at the picture. Roman was half naked, smiling into the camera and the caption had the nerve to say,  _ “all yours tonight if you want me.” _ Dean licked his bottom lip, beginning to text him back, but before he got a chance too, he felt two hands on his shoulders. He turned around quick, to see that Jack was behind him, staring into his phone.

“What are you doing?” Jack asked, curiously.

“What? Oh… nothing just using snapchat,” Dean shrugged, “A friend sent me something funny.”  _ Thank god snaps delete quickly, _ Dean thought to himself. If Jack had saw that he was receiving naked snaps from another guy there would be questions… one that Dean didn't want to answer right now.

Well,  _ couldn't _ answer right now. 

Yeah, he was dating Roman, and when they were in his dorm, Dean was his and  _ happy _ as hell to be his. But in reality,  _ no one _ knew, except Seth and the security guard at Newman hall. Faye hasn't even contacted Dean in months and Dean’s mom still texted him everyday like nothing was wrong, so Dean figured she didn't tell them… no doubt if she did, Dean would’ve gotten at least a phone call from his father by now.

“You're socializing with someone on  _ snapchat, _ who isn't me or the guys at the frat? I'm intrigued.” Jack laughed, and grabbed Dean's phone, trying to look through the messages but Dean quickly took it away from him before he could see anything.

“What the fuck, Jack? Don't fucking touch my shit.” Dean's serious tone caught Jack off guard. He was his best friend, and Dean was never secretive about who he was talking to in the past. 

“Dean… I was just playing,” He said apologetically but his best friend want to hear it. Dean took all of his things, then walked out without another word to his friend. Jack followed him out, running after Dean, who was walking insanely fast for some reason. “Dean! Wait a sec… please, I was only kidding!” Jack yelled it down the hallway, and that's when he saw Dean stop and turned around, he walked until he met up with Jack again, a sigh escaping his lips before he looked back at Jack.

“Alright, I may have over reacted, but dude don't grab my phone again okay?” He told his best friend. “Say yes and we're cool.”

“Fine, no more grabbing your phone. Now quit your shit and come with me to get lunch. I'm fucking starving.” Jack tossed his arm around Dean and they both began walking out of the building together. They started talking and laughing about class, and Jack made a joke about Dean being single going into 2017, which Dean ignored for now, because Jack didn't need to know what Dean did behind closed doors, yeah he was his best friend but Dean wasn’t ready to be… out or whatever yet. He loved being with Roman but did that make him gay? 

He still didn't have the answer.

Dean was so wrapped up in laughing with Jack that he didn't even notice that Roman was waiting outside his class for him. He almost missed the sight of him by the tree near the exit, but once those blue eyes came across a 6’3, smiling samoan, who looked all too happy to see him, Dean froze in place. Jack walked ahead just a few steps before he realized he was talking to himself. He stopped to see Dean frozen, looking down at the ground.  

“Dude what gives?” Jack said, “Are you okay?”

 

“Uh…” Dean looked at Roman again, who was now wearing the softest of smiles, and waving gently at Dean. Dean wanted to smile back, but he realized Jack was there with him,   
__  
Fuck.  
  
He almost forgot about Jack. Dean acted fast on his feet, and turned around quickly to block Jack’s path so he couldn't see Roman. “Hey, actually, I think I'm gonna have to do a rain check on lunch today if that's okay, I really need to catch up on studying.” 

“Studying? Dean you’re at the head of the class. The teacher recommended that we all read  _ your _ essay to understand how essays should be written… since when do you need to study?” 

Jack was suspicious. Dean had been doing this for a while now, every other day he would find ways to blow him off at random times, telling him he needed to study when Jack  _ knew _ he didn't. There was something going on and Jack was going to get to the bottom of it sooner or later.

“I get good grades  _ because _ I study Jack, duh. Studying is always important,” Dean felt stalled for time, he had to get Jack to leave somehow and fast, “Look, I know I can’t go with you right now but, later tonight just me and you… we can go to a bar… I promise.” Dean smiled at Jack, hoping that would be enough for him to believe right now. Jack curiously nodded, then shrugged only slightly.

“Fine, I guess I'll see you later then?” Jack waved Dean goodbye then went in the other direction. Once he was completely out of sight, Dean exhaled, then slowly walked over to Roman with a smile forming on his face.

“Hey you,” Dean really wanted to kiss him right now but people were around, some of which went to their sister sorority, Alpha-Pi. “What are you doing here?”

“Well… I saw that you finally opened my snap, so I buzzed across campus to see you.” Roman furrowed his brows, and bit his lip gently, “Did you like what you saw?”

“You already know I did, you asshole,” Dean was blushing, he hated when Roman made him feel all fluttery and happy like this. Actually he loved it, but he wouldn't tell him that, “I was going to reply but my friend Jack took my phone and…” 

“You let him see my dick? Kinky. I'm not into threesomes though.” Roman joked with him, and it made Dean laugh. He really wished he could kiss him and hold his hand but Dean wasn’t out yet and Roman respected that. He had a right to come out at his own time. “Do you wanna get something to eat? I could use a burger right now… you interested?” 

Dean smiled at him then slowly nodded, “Yeah, I could use one too. Can we go off campus though? I really want to have a place where I can kiss you and inappropriately feel you up underneath the table.”  

“I think I know the perfect place,” Roman said, with a smile, “Follow me pretty boy.”  He started to walk fast and Dean just smiled, before running to catch up with him.

* * *

A little while later, Roman brought Dean somewhere so far off campus he didn't think anyone would recognize him over there. They had to take the bus, which was an experience for Dean since, well... he never rode one before. His dad made him take a private car to school and once Dean got old enough, his dad taught him how to drive and brought him 3 cars for his 16th birthday. Dean actually had a fun time laughing on the bus with Roman. They held hands and told stupid jokes and no one around seemed to care about their relationship. 

It was freeing. 

They got off the bus at something called “Apple Avenue” and Dean tried not to laugh at the name. Roman held his hand, lacing his fingers in Dean's as they walked inside a diner called, “Nicole’s.” Roman came in with Dean and as soon as they walked in, Roman was greeted by almost everyone in the diner. He didn't let go of Dean's hand as they walked over to the counter and Roman greeted the young girl at the cashier's counter.

“Hey beautiful,” Roman said with a bright smile. 

“ROMAN!! Long time no see!” The girl came around and gave Roman a big hug, Roman hugged her back tightly, lifting her off her feet, and making her laugh. “You haven't come around these parts in over a year. I'm so happy to see you.” 

‘"You already know, that I'm happy to see you too, Nicole," Roman smiled, then turned to Dean, “Uh, Nic this is Dean, we're dating, Dean this is Nicole. She's my friend from high school. The first and only girl who ever dumped me because she knew even before I was willing to admit it, just how much I liked boys.” 

Dean went for a handshake but Nicole hugged him instead. He was surprised by the hug but still smiled and hugged her back. “You are so cute,” Nicole told Dean, touching his face, “Nice face, nice body…" She checked Dean out, "Wow, Roman did good finally. Lucky him eh?” Roman rolled his eyes at that and Dean laughed lightly.

“Yeah, I'd say he's pretty lucky.”  Dean added, surprising Roman, who ended up blushing. 

“Ooh, I like a guy who can make Roman blush easily. You're so sweet, unlike that last asshole he dated… he's told you about Finn right?” 

A look passed between Dean and Roman and that's when Roman looked away from Dean's gaze, “He's told me enough,” Dean said, realizing how uncomfortable Roman was getting. He squeezed his hand and that’s when he saw a soft, thankful smile form on Roman's face.

“Well I'm just glad he found someone new. Finn was awful.” Nicole smiled, “Anyway, why don’t you guys go sit in the booth, and I'll be right there with your menus.” 

Roman and Dean nodded and they both walked over to the booth together and sat down. Normally, Dean would sit facing the other person he was with but Roman decided to sit directly next to him, a smile on his cute face as he placed his arm around Dean and caressed his jaw softly. 

“You said you wanted a place where you could kiss me right?” Dean nodded, and just like that, Roman’s lips were on his, giving him small chaste kisses over and over until he felt Dean’s smile against his lips. 

“... and you wanted a place where you could feel me up underneath the table, right?” Dean nodded again, and this time he felt Roman take his hand, and place it on his thigh. Dean looked at him, mouth open as Roman ran his hand up his thigh, and placed it on his semi erection. Dean smiled, biting his lip as he squeezed at it, and gave it two slow strokes underneath the table. 

“Feel me up, pretty boy” Roman challenged him in a whisper, with a mischievous smile on his face.

“Oh my god, Ro..” Dean whispered to him as he felt Roman come alive underneath his hand. He watched as Roman didn't even react as he began to stroke him through his jeans, but Dean could tell he wanted too. He gave Dean another kiss, and that’s when Nicole came back with their menus. 

“Here ya go lovebirds, two menus.” Nicole said to them, although, they didn’t seem to be listening because they were kissing and giggling like crazy. Nicole decided to leave them alone, and give them privacy, but the door jingled, signifying that yet another person walked into the diner.

It was the one person that could ruin Roman's whole day.

The one man who could undo three months of being happy with Dean.

“Hey Nicole, give me a black coffee babe, I had a long night.” Finn snapped his fingers at her, telling her to make it quick. Nicole gave him an evil glare before going over to make his coffee. Finn smirked at the waitress, then took out two pills from his leather jacket pocket, popped them in and took a look around. 

Nicole gave Finn his coffee at the exact moment Finn noticed Roman, in the corner, in  _ their  _ old booth, kissing up on another man. He smirked, and took his cup of coffee with him towards their table. 

“Leave them alone!” Nicole whispered to Finn but Finn flipped her off then walked right over to the table. Roman didn't notice he was even there at first, until Dean pulled away from his lips long enough to see Finn sitting across from them.

“My god Roman, you sure do move quickly don't you?” Finn laughed, while taking Dean's spoon from his napkin to stir his coffee with. “Anything to get over me, I guess… right?”

“Finnegan… you look terrible.” Roman said back, pulling away from Dean, “What do you want? Are you still cruising for rent boys downtown? Or is it freshman art majors this time?” He didn't want to deal with Finn's shit today. He could tell he was drunk, or coming off a drinking binge and he smelled like whiskey and shame. They were friendly, most days but ever since Finn texted him asking to fuck three months ago like Roman was nothing more than sex to him, Roman hasn't been dealing with Finn or his shit anymore.

“C’mon Rome, you know that Sami was a lit major, and there were never any rent boys, it was only twice with Sami and he came on to me…” Roman said nothing back, he just gave off a deep, emotionless stare. “Okay look, I didn’t mean to get off on the wrong foot here, hi,” he turned to Dean, “I'm Finn… and you are?”

“I'm Dean.” Dean said softly. He felt Roman squeeze at his hand underneath the table, trying to tell Dean not to play Finn's game but it was too late, Finn already hooked him in. 

“Dean! What a nice name,” his thick accent was deep as he said Dean's name, “Tell me Dean, what are you expecting out of this?” Finn asked seriously.

“What?” Dean asked, but he was interrupted by Roman speaking yet again

“What are you even doing all the way out here?” Roman interrupted Finn's interrogation of Dean, “Did you follow me here?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Finn laughed, “I was at a mates party last night and I stayed over, you remember Zac right? He still asks about you all the time.”

“I bet he does, you know, since you fucked him too.”

“Hey, that was after we broke up babe.”

“Don't call me babe.”

“Why does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Yes.”

“Roman,” Dean interrupted their back and forth and immediately he got Roman's full attention. “Can we go? I love this place but I think it's getting a little too crowded for my liking.”

“You’re right,” Roman smiled, “Let's get out of here.” They were both putting their coats back on and that’s when Finn laughed, loudly, getting the attention of everyone in the diner.

“YOU HONESTLY THINK HE'S OVER ME?” Finn shouted at Dean in particular, who was forced to turn around and look at him. “Roman  _ loves _ me, he  _ fucking _ loves me. That kind of love doesn't go away, because he's fucking you, ginge. He'll come back to me soon enough, when he forgives me for what I did and just like three months ago, his lips will be all over my dick.”

Dean heard what he said, and then turned to Roman who was almost in tears from Finn's little tirade. He saw Roman walk out fast, and that's when Dean followed, and started to walk after him in the cold.

“Roman stop!” Dean shouted at him.

Roman didn’t stop.

“STOP, ROMAN… PLEASE.” Dean said again and this time, Roman did stop.

“Did you fuck him three months ago?” Dean asked, stopping in front of Roman to look into sad brown eyes. “Did you? Have you had sex with your ex recently?”

“No, I didn’t,” Roman told him back honestly. “He just said that to get under your skin and obviously it worked because you're standing here fucking asking me if I'm sleeping with a man who cheated on me… multiple times.”

“I don’t know what to think, Roman… he said that you still love him, and that week we weren't talking, I saw him all over you at that party.”

“Really? So he's all over me so that must mean I'm fucking him?” Roman scoffed and started to walk away, “I fucking  _ knew _ this was going to happen. I knew as soon as I got into something with someone else he'd find me and try to ruin it. He always does this.” Roman whimpered sadly. 

“Hey, wait, look at me,” Dean pulled on his arm and brought Roman slowly into his embrace, “If you say you haven’t slept with him then you haven't. I believe you okay…” Roman nodded softly, and smiled when Dean wiped his tears. Their foreheads pressed together lightly, and Dean watched as Roman slowly calmed himself down.

“Wanna get out of here?” Dean asked, softly.

“Yes please,” Roman nodded, with a smile.”

* * *

After Dean finished off the rest of his classes, he came back over to Newman hall and he and Roman ate pizza then laid in bed together. Dean was in his arms, snuggled up to Roman's chest, with his mind running a mile a minute. He kept thinking about Finn and how he said Roman still loved him and how he wanted to come back to him one day. Dean admitted to himself that he was falling for this man but what if Finn was right? What if he would just go back to Finn one day, leaving Dean heartbroken?

“Roman, I need to ask something and you're probably not gonna like it,” Dean began to say softly, holding onto their locked hands for comfort.

“You can ask me anything and I'll be honest.” Roman promised him.

“Okay, um… do you still love Finn?” Dean had to ask. He needed to know if this was going somewhere, or if he was just kidding himself. He was falling for Roman but if he was in love with someone else then what was the point?

“I think there's a part of me that will always love him,” Roman said back honestly, he felt Dean cringe but he steadied his voice, to keep him calm, “But am I in love with him? No. He hurt me, ya know, took away any real chance for us and after six long years, and now he drinks and sleeps around because he knows he fucked up and lost me. I care about him, and when he's not drunk he's the sweetest guy on earth, but he has his demons. I was in love with him, even after we broke up for the longest time but then, I met a cute redhead who has the sweetest smile and smells so damn good 24/7 and I like him, and my hangups about love and life in relationships aren't going to get in the way of what's growing between us… I promise.”

His answer was literally everything Dean wanted to hear. He was honest about Finn and his feelings and put Dean at ease about the whole situation. Roman turned him around and they softly kissed, each kiss feeling deeper than the one before.  _ God _ , he loved him. Dean could just say it over, and over again. 

He loved him.

He loved him.

He loved him.

“I love him,” Dean accidentally said out loud.

Roman's lips left his slowly as he looked back at Dean oddly. 

“What?” Roman asked, in a confused tone.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He did not… just say that out loud. 

Fuck.

He did.

“I umm…” Dean tried to think of an excuse to cover up the fact that he just admitted to loving Roman three months into their relationship. They haven't even called each other boyfriend yet.  _ Fuck _ . Before he could think of anything plausible to say, Dean felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He took it out, thankful for the distraction… but not thankful for the message he had just received from his mother.

**Mom: I booked your flight for Austin in three days, young man. Faye has told me something very interesting that I think we should discuss over your break. See you soon baby.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn’t going to post this until a couple of weeks from now but I loved this chapter so much I just had to update early. Hopefully you guys love it as much as I do. Every single comment is the reason I keep going, I read em with a smile on my face. Thank you guys so much. -Melle.


	8. From Texts to Texas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean goes home for the holidays.

Dean hated Texas.

That's why as soon as he graduated high school, he decided to go a college that was very far away because whenever he was home, it was a time that he had to be a Dean that even he didn't recognize anymore. It was all about, America, barbecue, his mom acting like her opinion didn't matter because she was a woman, and red state, cold blooded politics. Dean used to love it, especially when he was younger, and more naive to the less privileged world around him, but now, it all felt… strange. He still read the bible at night, and thanked god that Trump got elected instead of that liar Hillary, but every thing that once meant so much to him, didn't feel like the end all, be all anymore. 

He got his bags from baggage claim and of course there was a guy in a black suit waiting for him while nervously holding up a “ **Dean Ambrose,"** sign. His father wouldn't even allow him to take a cab home, he had  _ always _ had to have a car waiting for him.  _ “Ambrose’s don't take cabs,”  _ he could hear his dad say. Dean politely smiled at the guy, and immediately his bags were taken from his hands and carried all the way to the car. 

_ Yep, _ he was home alright.

Dean got in the back of the car, and started watching the streets and Christmas lights pass him by around town. Westlake, was one of the richest parts of Austin, TX. Dean went to the best school's, had the best education and he grew up in a mansion. Not many people were as privileged as he was, and although Dean was thankful for this well off life, he felt like it sheltered him too much. 

It was absolutely ridiculous that his first time ever riding a bus was with Roman. He experienced so much more things in three months with Roman than he has his whole life. His dad made Dean in his image, and now Dean didn't know if everything he once believed, was right, or if he was just ingrained to think was. 

The large black gate opened and Dean didn't know why but he had this weird pain in the pit of his stomach.  _ Guilt. _ that's what it felt like, a burning sensation, that seeping fear he got by knowing that he was going to be walking into a warzone. God, his dad would love that reference. That’s what it was though, proverbially, anyway. He was entering enemy territory, with his guards up since he landed in texas. His mom probably knew that he was fucking boys and sinning with one in particular. She probably knew that her son she was so very proud of once upon a time was now her biggest disappointment.

Dean wasn’t really afraid of her wrath, after all his mom wasn't the one to be scared of…  his father was. If he knew that Dean had sex with Roman, and was in love with him, he would probably be dead, and no, not proverbially. His father would rather die than have a son who liked boys. Being disgraced, would be nothing compared to what his father would do to him.

The driver stopped right in front of the mansion, and Dean got out of the car once the door was opened. He looked up at his childhood home and he breathed out slowly. He didn't know what he was walking into, but he wasn’t afraid. If Roman taught him anything in the amazing three months they’ve been together it was confidence, and courage. He gave him confidence more than Dean’s ever gotten with anyone else. He made Dean feel sexy, and important in every kiss, and laugh or hug. The moments spent with him proved to Dean that maybe… he could be himself and still get everything he wanted. 

Even if he had to do it without his daddy's money.

Thinking about Roman, and how proud he would be of Dean made the redhead smile. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and immediately he checked it for missed calls or messages. It had been off the entire flight, and Dean forgot to turn it on until now. Sadly though, he had no calls or texts from the  _ one _ person he really wanted to talk to right now. Dean searched again and saw that he only had two messages, one from Jack, the other his mom... and not a single one from Roman.

**Jack: I love how you blew me off three days ago, then up and leave to Texas so we can't even talk? What's going on with you dude?**

**Mom: Dean! I heard your plane landed. I can't wait to see my baby boy soon.**

Dean sighed, and scrolled down to Roman’s name. The last message he got from him was three days ago, right before Dean left to Texas. He wished Dean safe travels with the kissing emoji and then that was it. He knew their relationship was in a weird state right now, with Dean telling him he loved him by accident and Roman not being able to say it back but he never thought that he'd lose him over it…

_ God, he hoped he didn’t lose him.  _

It was because of Roman, that Dean was thinking a little differently, he made him understand so many things that Dean was oblivious about before, and made him happier than he's ever been. He  _ wanted _ that, he wanted  _ him _ … even if it meant Roman didn't love him back.

Dean tried to keep it together as he walked up to his house and opened the doors. “Mother?” Dean always called out for her first, because his father was usually busy at this time of day. “Mother? I'm home!” Dean called for her again, but this time he was greeted by their butler, Peter instead of his mom. Peter had been working for them since Dean was about 5, Dean loved Peter, he was like a second dad to him, even though he was treated like shit by the rest of the family.

“Mr. Ambrose, you're home!” The old Englishman said, delightedly, “How wonderful, your mother and father have missed you.”

“I missed  _ you _ too, Peter,” Dean said back, smiling.

Peter didn’t smile back, but Dean could tell, he wanted too, “That's all good and well sir, but, if you please, go to your room and change, lunch will be served at approximately 12:00pm and your mother has firmly requested your attendance.” Peter didn’t give Dean a chance to even reply this time because he was already leading him up the stairs to his room. Dean told Peter he didn’t need an escort, despite Peter’s persistence. The butler simply bowed when they reached the top of the stairs, then left Dean to walk down the hallway alone. 

Dean’s room was in the south part of the mansion. It was the last room at the end of the hall, and the biggest room in the south wing. He loved that his room was so far away from everyone else. It gave Dean the space he needed, away from Becky and her silly friends, and since Dean’s room happened to have a terrace, he would stay out there sometimes, admiring the amazing view of downtown, and the ocean. He would secretly take photos of the scenery, and city life from far away, and hide it from his dad so he wouldn't realize his true dreams.

_ “Ambrose’s don't dream, we win.” _ He could hear his father say.

Dean opened the door, and when he came in, he felt an immense amount of happiness. Everything was the same, all his sports trophies, science awards, everything was still there, almost like a shrine of his accomplishments. He came over to his bed, to see an outfit already laid out for him. No doubt from his mother. He hasn’t even been home five minutes yet and he already felt like that little kid again who let his mom pick out his outfits and didn't have a mind of his own.

A very audible groan escaped Dean’s lips as he fell backwards on the king sized bed. He was already anxious out of his ass about what Faye told his mom, and now he had to have lunch with her, his sister and Dean’s big gay secret as the elephant in the room. 

He laid out on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, as a heavy sigh escaped his lips. Dean knew, eventually he would have to go downstairs, and face the fact that he liked boys, his mom knew and he was getting disowned soon. _ God… _ he would rather walk across hot coals than do this, but he would rather everything be out in the open. Just because he liked Roman didn't mean his future changed, or his goals… it just happened that he wanted Roman to be apart of that future, well,  _ maybe _ … fuck he didn't know.

Dean grunted while getting up, he tried to turn his mind off while he took off his shirt and began buttoning up the dress shirt his mom picked out… but his phone rang. He grabbed it from his jeans pocket, his red hair being pushed out of his face only to see that  _ Roman _ was the one calling. A bright smile found it’s way on Dean’s face quickly as he pressed answer.

“Hey cutie,” Roman’s voice was already calming Dean, he just had that effect on him. “How was your flight? How's Texas?”

“Roman, hey, I’m so glad you called,” Dean hoped he didn’t sound too desperate, but he did miss him, even if their relationship was in limbo right now. “I miss you like crazy. Texas is already shit, I'm currently in my old room putting on clothes my mom picked out for me, and oh my god… you would hate them.”

Roman laughed, “Really? Describe em to me.”

“Uh, it's like a peach polo dress shirt and brown shorts, with loafers.” 

“Oh my god!” Roman couldn’t stop laughing, “I can't even see you and already I can tell you look awful.” 

“I know, I much rather be with you right now... in your clothes... or out of them, whatever you prefer,” Dean blushed as he shamelessly flirted, he heard Roman grunt, it was that sexually frustrated one he does whenever he wanted Dean badly, “I really miss you, you know? I haven’t really heard from you since…” he exhaled, “I'm just happy you finally called.”

“I'm happy I called too, I um… I miss you, Dean.. a lot.” 

Dean never been so happy to hear those words. He was so worried that he might’ve ruined whatever was growing between them when he told Roman that he loved him by accident, but Roman was calling and Roman  _ missed _ him. It made Dean happy to know that despite what was going on, Roman missed him just as much as Dean did.

“I miss you too,” Dean said it more confidently, “Roman look… I know we agreed not to talk about... that thing that happened between us but, I can't just keep quiet... it's killing me. You know before I left, I said something to you that you weren't exactly ready to hear…”

“Dean, please don't…” Roman pleaded with him.

“No, Roman, I feel like we need to discuss it. I know what you told me before about Finn, you said he messed you up and you don’t really know if you can love anyone again, and I get that. I don’t know what came over me, it just came out… it was an accident I swear. It was the moment, and being with you in your arms and…”

“Dean, it's okay,” Roman said back softly, “You don't have to jump through hoops or lie about it. If that's what you really feel for me, then it's okay. I promise.”

Dean’s heart started racing as he listened to Roman tell him it was all okay. Yet again, he was proving to Dean that this was something that could be real, that his feelings were valid and that he cared, even if one of them made a mistake.

“Okay..” Dean exhaled harshly, Roman couldn’t see but his cheeks were burning red. He wanted to tell him that it was how he really felt, that he was falling for him but what if Roman didn't feel the same? “Roman I…"

Before Dean could finish his sentence, he heard a voice in the background of Roman's room. A voice all too familiar, a strong accent that Dean would never, ever, forget.

_ "Rome, come to bed already… baby.”  _

It was Finn. 

Finn fucking Balor was in Roman's room somehow, and he knew Roman was on the phone with Dean, so he made sure Dean could heard him say it. That fucking irish bastard got to Roman again somehow, even though he had only been gone for three days. 

“Who's that?” Dean asked, his voice becoming uneven as he waited for an answer, he  _ knew _ the answer already but he wanted to hear it. He wanted to hear Roman either be honest or lie to him.

“Fuck. I was hoping you didn't hear,” Roman sighed helplessly, “Dean, please just... wait.. before you jump to conclusions…” Roman began to say.

“Me? Jump to conclusions as to why you have Finn  _ fucking _ Balor in your room, and he's calling you baby and telling you to come to bed? That's insane!” Dean was short in his reply, anger and sarcasm were taking over for logic and reason.

“There's no need for sarcasm, D… just let me explain.” Roman pleaded with him.

“Let you explain,” Dean scoffed, “Let you explain how the moment I left for Texas you let your fucking ex in bed with you? Explain how you were probably fucking him the whole time and that's why you didn't call me,” He started to choke up over the phone, “Oh my god, this is my fault isn't it? I fall in love with another man and this is God's way of punishing me because I allowed myself to sin with you.” 

“Sin?” Roman let out a sharp breath, “If you would just let me fucking talk then I'd give you an explanation but this is  _ exactly _ how it's been since we met. You deny you like me, we fuck, you deny you want me, we fuck, you put blame on me for  _ you _ falling for me despite it going against everything your  _ daddy _ taught you. Then you wonder why I can't fall for you Dean, you wonder why I hesitate to let myself love you, because it always comes back to this, I'm the  _ sin _ you want to commit but don't want to  _ admit _ to anyone… right?”

“You turn you cheating on me into a rant about me not wanting to come out when I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM.” 

“Yeah, that's what I'm doing, cheating on you. That’s who I am right? Are you fucking dense?” 

“How about,  _ fuck you _ Roman. How's that for dense?”

Roman was beyond fed up, “You know what? Fine, fuck you, too Dean.”

They both hung up at the same time, and that's when Dean tossed his phone across the room, not caring if it broke or not. He angrily wiped tears that were falling down his red cheeks then finished up getting dressed. He was hurting but right now he couldn't show it, now he had to go downstairs and face the music.

* * *

 

Dean came downstairs, trying his hardest to smile, as he walked into the dining hall. The long table was set up with a bunch of different foods that the maids probably slaved over. At the end of the table, there was Dean’s sister, Becky and her best friend AJ, they seemed to be bickering about something, but stopped when they saw Dean enter. He grabbed a couple of grapes then came over to where they were, and sat down next to his sister. 

“Dean.” 

“Becky.”

The both stared at each other, Becky particularly for a little bit longer than Dean did, and then he looked away. He placed his grapes on a plate along with a sandwich and softly picked at it. Becky and AJ gave each other a look, then they both smiled while staring at Dean.

“Well, it looks like someone is upset about something,” Becky said, somberly, “You okay big bro?”

“What?” Dean looked up at them and rolled his eyes before popping a grape in his mouth, “I'm fine.” he lied, while trying to avoid their stubborn gazes.

“Nope, you're not,” AJ added, grabbing a grape off of Dean’s plate, “I've been studying body language online, and yours gives off a lot. You're angry, but guarded… almost like you're trying to hide something. Am I right?” 

Dean made a face at Becky’s friend, “What? Fuck, you don't even know me, and just because your liberal, socialist internet tells you something doesn't make it true. So please, leave me the hell alone okay?” Dean watched as AJ rolled her eyes then got up to get another sandwich.

Becky glared at him, “Be nice to AJ, I finally have a friend I have yet to scare away,” she whispered under her breath.

“Whatever, you want me to be nice? Tell her to keep her dumbass opinion to herself then.” Dean didn't say anything else, he kept his head down in his plate and pushed the grapes around. He was pissed, he was sad, no angry, no… upset. Actually he just wished he let Roman explain. But his pride didn't want to listen, he blamed god, and politics on the reason Finn was in his…  _ Roman's, _ bedroom when it could've been so much more than that.

Why couldn't he just listen?

Before he could answer his own question, his mother came floating into the room. She had on a yellow and white sundress with patterned flowers, and her blonde hair glazed against the sun that dripped slowly through their sliding glass door. Dean’s heart pounded as he saw his mother. Her presence always calmed him before, when he was younger she was a light in his hectic, father approved life but now that he was older, he realized the times when he really needed her most were nothing more than faux desired memories. 

“Dean, honey, good afternoon.” His mother said as she sat down at the head of the table. The maids were quick to act once she was seated, she had tea, sandwiches, and fruit at her behest before Dean could even blink. “How was your flight?” she asked, gently.

“Hello, mother,” Dean nodded towards her, “I had a good flight, thank you.” Dean sat up straight, and began to eat, hoping that that was the end of their conversation. His head was already unfocused because of his fight with Roman, he didn't need anymore stress right now.

“I'm here too, ya know in case anyone forgot.” Becky exclaimed, making only her friend AJ laugh. 

“Becky, it’s crude to speak when you’re not being spoken to. Now, please excuse yourself and your…” His mom made a face at AJ, “Your friend, from the table… I need to talk to your brother, alone.” Dean's mom didn't even look at Becky while she spoke. Her eyes were solely on Dean and him only. The young red head gave them both a look then got up at her mother's request, taking AJ with her.

It was so quiet when Becky left. Dean kept trying to avoid his mother’s gaze. He knew one look in her eyes would mean facing the truth, and more importantly, realizing that he disappointed his mother. He wish he didn't tell Faye, he wished that Roman didn't control his thoughts and that ultimately…  hadn't of met him. If he didn't then there would be no need for the judgmental stare his mom was giving him. He wished he wasn't in love with Roman, that everything could go back to normal and he could be the son his mother was proud once more. 

“Dean, how long do you plan on being silent in my presence?” His mother was the first to speak, she looked at him and waited for Dean to say something but he was quiet still, avoiding her stare. “You're not going to be the man I raised and own up to what Faye has told me?” 

_ No. I won't.  _ Dean wanted to say. Owning up meant telling her about Roman. Owning up meant expressing to his mom that he likes it when there's a dick up his ass and he's in love with another boy. He wasn't about to sit there and tell his mother, who took the bible as fact that he thought he might be… gay.

Yeah no, fuck that.

“Mother, I don't know what Faye has told you but I promise it isn't true.” Dean decided to lie, that would be easier. He had to lie, his mom couldn’t know… his dad couldn’t know… no one could. His future depended on it.

“So you're telling me, that you didn't break Faye’s heart after first proposing to her? How dare you lie to me, Dean Ambrose. I am your mother,” her accent was thicker than a bowl of oatmeal now, as she slammed her hands down on the table. 

But, Dean was so confused, Faye told his mom he proposed? Then broke up with her? More importantly, she… kept his secret? 

“What am I supposed to tell the neighbors?” His distraught mother asked, “Am I supposed to tell Jan and Steven, that my boy is someone who takes back a vow? How dare you hurt Faye this way, Dean? Her mother and I are so disappointed in you.”

“I..” Dean honestly didn't have an answer. Faye had made up this intricate lie about a broken engagement when she could've easily told the truth. She lied, again for him and Dean didn't understand why. He told her he wanted to be with Roman, that he was happy with a man rather than her, and Faye bolted out of that coffee shop and never contacted him again. Dean thought that everything was over, their friendships, his trust fund..  _ everything. _ Instead, the girl he unintentionally hurt, was still finding a way to save him.  

“I never meant to propose and take it back, mother. I told Faye that myself, but I guess I proposed in the spur of the moment, and then…” fuck he didn't know what else to say, “... then I got scared. I am so focused on school right now that, I can’t marry Faye, but one day I promise… I will.” 

_ Yeah, sure Dean, one day. _ If and when he ever decided to give up Roman's dick which was no time soon, despite the fight they had earlier.

“So you're saying you do wish to marry her… just not right now?” Dean’s mother's face lit up after Dean told her what she wanted to hear. She was more excited about this than Dean was, and it hasn't even happened yet. He realized now that he couldn’t disappoint her, Faye may not have told her the truth, but goddamn she dug a hole not even dean could shovel out of.

“Yes,” Dean said, lying easily. He knew it wasn't the truth, but right now it's what his mom wanted to hear and that's all that mattered.

* * *

 

After finishing up lunch with his unexpectedly happy mom, Dean decided to call Faye. He wanted to not only thank her for keeping his secret when she didn't or shouldn't of had too but also he wanted to ask her why she decided to lie. She had him by the balls, literally and and could've easily outed him but she didn't, and Dean wanted to know why. Her phone rang and rang but there was no answer. It went straight to voicemail so Dean decided to leave her one, and hope that she would call him back later.

_ "Hey, Faye, it's me. Dean. I um, I'm here in Austin, for winter break and I spoke to my mother. She told me what you said, I just..  I want to talk to you about it? Please Faye, call me back when you get this? Okay, um, bye.”  _

Dean hung up after that, and then fell backwards onto his pillows. He thought this day would end significantly different, that his mother and father would be basically disown him and he would have to get a job like some normal person but it didn't. Faye saved him and Roman wasn't speaking to him. 

It was like he entered a parallel universe.

Dean picked up his phone, and decided to torture himself by going through his and Roman's old texts. He was so flirty when it came to Dean. He liked to tell him to have a good day, with emoji’s that made Dean blush. He went through his camera roll and found the picture Roman took of them in his bed. They were making out pretty heavy that night, when Roman grabbed his phone and took a photo. Dean was hiding his face while Roman kissed at his neck. It was so cute. Dean rolled his watery eyes at it, then pressed “delete.”

His phone asked him “Are you sure?”

Dean looked at the picture one last time, then decided to keep it. He was angry at him, but that didn't mean that they were over. Actually he had no idea. He's never fought with Faye. They were chill, and Dean did whatever she wanted, when she wanted. But with Roman it was different, he fought with him because he loved him, and this stupid fucking love was driving him crazy.

Dean went through more photos on his phone, mostly one he took of Roman, when they were hanging out. His favorite was the one of Roman, drinking a milkshake at a restaurant with Dean, and looking straight into the camera with a smile on his face. He just looked so good in it that Dean had to keep it. The young republican smiled, then went to instagram and uploaded it without a caption or a filter. He just wanted Roman to know he was thinking about him, even though they had fought and even though he was mad at him.

He had 30 comments before he could even blink, one from Jack and the other, from the man in question.

**Jackattack21: woah, great picture dude, who’s that dude? Also, call me? want to talk.**

**reignsroman: the guy is handsome, so was the person taking the photo.**

Dean smiled at his comment, even though he knew his other friends would read it and wonder what Roman meant, Dean didn't care. His heart was fluttering, he was just about to send an “I'm sorry” text to Roman but his door was being opened by none other than Becky herself. 

“Hey dude,” The high school senior came over to Dean's bed and she immediately got in, pushing her big brother over so she could lay down directly next to him. Dean rolled his eyes but smiled, and let her lay with him.

“Hey, Becks, where’s AJ? I'm assuming after she officially met mom she ran outta here right?” Dean asked gently.

“Nah, she's in my room playing over watch. AJ isn't like the others, I explained to her how mom and dad are and she understands. She's really cool, Dean… I like her alot.” Becky blushed when talking about her, but Dean didn't pick up on it. “It's so nice to have a friend who understands me and who doesn't judge me despite our upbringing. She's liberal, but she doesn't judge me for not being one, and she's super sweet, she cares about me you know.. not just what I can do for her. Do you have someone like that?”

As soon as Becky finished speaking, Dean started thinking about Roman. Everything his sister loved about AJ was the same thing that Dean loved about Roman. He wanted someone to challenge the way he thought and he's met him, but Dean fucked it all up. Dean looked at Becky, then smiled at his sister, who looked at him back curiously.

“I thought that it was us or them, Beck's. You know dad taught us that having what we have and keeping it was the most important thing in life and those less fortunate than us were in the places they were in because they let themselves be, but.. it's not that black and white, is it?” Becky smiled at Dean then shook her head no, “I met someone like that Becks, someone who likes me just the way I am, and challenges me, and the way I think and drives me crazy, in a good way. 

“I know,” Becky said, smiling back at Dean. 

“Wait what do you mean  _ you know?" _ Dean replied, confused.

“Dean, despite what you may think, you're not very good at hiding things. That's why AJ could read you so easily. You came downstairs and picked at your food with nothing but sadness in those eyes. I don't know who this person is but I do know you got it bad for them.” Becky smirked at Dean and he opened his mouth to retort but his phone rang, the familiar ed sheeran song played over and over and he smiled when he saw it was Roman calling.

“Becks… I..” Dean began to say.

“Don't worry big bro, I'll leave you to it,” She got up, then fluffed her brothers red hair, “Just remember, if this person,” She refused to use gender pronouns for some reason, “... wants you, the way you so  _ obviously _ want them, then don't fuck it up, okay?" Becky left right after that, leaving Dean to think about what she said. He looked down at his phone then immediately pressed answer, before sighing softly.

“Hey,” Dean said, his voice softer than before.

“Hey, Dean, I..” Roman sighed, “Can we please talk? I want to apologize and explain…”

“We can talk, but I don’t want to do it over the phone, I want to talk in person when I come back from break… is that okay?”

“More than okay.. but just please.. don't hang up? I just... I really want to hear your voice."

“Don't worry, I won't hang up. I... want to hear your voice too.”

Dean laid down on his pillow and both men just listened to each other breathe for awhile. The silence was comfortable. They both knew they had a lot to discuss when he got back, but for now, just being with him, even just on the phone… and knowing that he still had him in some way… that was just fine. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman... wyd fam, why is finn in your bed? Question guys, will Roman ever get over Finn and let himself love Dean? -Melle


	9. The Stupid Things We Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean goes back home.

Dean never thought he'd say this.

He actually missed being home. No, not the home where he had awkward dinners with his family for a week straight, and his mom talked his ear off about Faye, and dad gabbed over all things about the election and politics… _no._ His true home was here where the smell of palm trees entered his nostrils, where rain was welcomed, here, back in college, back in the frat, back in the same state as _him._

He landed two hours ago, and yet he still couldn’t manage to tell Roman he was home. He didn't even know how to face him after everything, telling him he loved him, thinking he was cheating, lying easily along with Faye and her bullshit. There was just so much Dean was insecure about and so much more he couldn't even wrap his head around.

 _He should go see him._ At least that’s what his mind kept telling him to do. Truthfully, he _should_ just go over there, and deal with whatever happened during break, whether it be Finn or somebody else, he needed to just man up and talk to his... _boyfriend,_ or whatever the hell Roman was to him.

Dean made up his mind. He was going to go over there, and talk to him. Even if it was to get his heartbroken, he would much rather know the truth than to sit there alone when he much rather be with Roman. He took off his ugly dress shirt his mom made him wear, and popped on a hoodie with no shirt under, and that one pair of jeans he knew Roman loved him in because they framed his ass well. Not that it mattered but, Dean wanted him to know what he was missing, that he was just as hot and desirable as Finn was…

At least he hoped he was to Roman.

He grabbed his phone and then hurried out of the frat before Jack noticed he was home. Luckily, Summer was over so Jack was too busy locked up in his room with her to even notice Dean was home. He speeded across campus over to Newman hall, and the first thing he got was a smile from the security guard. Dean greeted him politely, and Hank nodded appreciatively before letting him in. Dean entered the building with his anxiety on one thousand. He stopped, just to breathe in and out, before he began to walk down the hall to Roman’s room.

He never thought he’d be afraid to knock on his door, but yet, here he was scared shitless. He could lose the best thing that ever happened to him, and that was scarier than his father finding out that he… _fuck._ It wasn't the time for overthinking. Dean took a very deep breath yet again then reached out and knocked three times then waited for someone to answer.

It took about five minutes but, Dean finally heard feet shuffling towards the door. He waited, and tried his best to control his breathing as the door opened, and the man he missed for an entire week stood there, without a smile, or… clothes for that matter.

God, he should never be allowed to wear clothes.

“Dean, hey.” Roman said it somberly, but he didn’t bother trying to cover his junk, or anything, he just stood there, so confident in his nakedness that Dean was almost envious. “When did you get back?”

“About two hours ago.. Um, can I come in or are you busy?” Dean tried his best to keep his eyes on Roman’s face but his perfect dick was semi erect, and staring right at him, and bad thoughts began to enter Dean’s mind that were telling him to get on his knees and suck him dry.

_Hmm, maybe later._

“Of course you can come in,” Roman opened the door for him and Dean didn’t know why but his heart almost stopped when he saw that no one was in the room. He was so sure Finn would be there and that everything, the most amazing three months of his life, would be over. But no one was there, not even Seth for that matter. Dean came in after Roman and he saw that Roman made a space for him in bed,  He smiled, just a little and sat down while Roman laid down behind him.

“So…” Dean began to say as he watched Roman watch him,

“So…” Roman said back.

“I missed you,” Dean spit it out. He might as well be honest, he did miss him, too much actually. “I never knew a week could feel like forever until we started dating.”

Roman blushed at that, “I missed you too, Dean. You should know, I texted you that almost everyday,” Roman smiled at him while his jet black hair laid gently against his pillows. “My sheets no longer smell like you, and that, is a crime in itself.”

Dean smiled at him, while avoiding his gaze. “I thought you wouldn’t care you know… since Finn was cozying up to you recently, here… in the same bed I was in.” _Fuck._ He sounded jealous didn't he? Well that’s because he _was_ jealous, he hated the thought of Finn getting to have Roman, or being anywhere near him after but he hurt him, but they weren’t exclusive.

Dean wasn’t out and Roman still loved Finn… in some way. He had no right to be mad at him when they haven’t even discussed the terms of their relationship, even if Dean was madly in love with him.

“Do I get a chance to explain now or are you just gonna sit there with your cute face… moping?” Dean gave him a look and Roman smiled, then sat up and exhaled softly, “Look, Finn is my ex for a reason, Dean. It’s not because we had one fight or he punched a kitten, okay? He cheated on me, _multiple_ times with a guy I once considered a friend. Last week when you called me, yes, he was here. I wouldn’t ever lie to you. But it wasn't because I was on my knees sucking his dick or being the slut you seem to think I am.”

Dean shook his head apologetically, trying to figure out a way to say sorry but, Roman cut him off.

“I was on my way home for the holidays, to visit my mom, and the moment I left the dorm, I find Finn outside Newman. He was so beyond drunk, that I physically can’t describe it. His words were slurry but, he basically told me that he wasn’t going home for the holidays this year because it was the first year he was going home _without_ me. We used to visit Ireland every year, his whole family loves me… even his mom was devastated when we broke up.” He sighed, “You know, I thought of just leaving him there after everything that man put me through but... I just… couldn’t. So, I brought him back inside the dorm and told him to sleep it off, then Seth would let him out the next day. That’s when I called you just to see how you were since we hadn't spoke in a while and things took a turn for the worse. He heard me and you, being all flirty and stuff, so he decided to be petty and said what he said because he knows that he can scare away guys who like me. He thinks it’s easy… to have me whenever he wants by scaring away guys I might have feelings for.”

Dean sat there and listened to Roman and in that moment he felt like the biggest fucking jerk on the planet. Constantly, Roman keeps telling him he doesn’t want Finn, and proving it and there’s Dean who thinks one sentence from Finn means cheating. He hated that he almost ended it with Roman off of the words of a man stupid enough to let him go. Dean rubbed his hands over his face and sighed, then looked back at Roman.

“I’m sorry, Roman. I swear. I guess I just thought, I said I loved you, and you were freaked out about it being too soon or something so you went back to him. I mean I get it, he’s hot and your ex, and I’m just the guy you fuck who can’t seem to make up his mind.”  Dean shyly looked up after he finished, only to see Roman smiling at him. He was confused as to why, but without much warning, or words parted, Roman pulled him in, and Dean fell on top of him, laughing when his blue eyes met brown. He felt him grab his ass, and Dean gasped slightly, while kicking off his shoes.

“You’re more than just a guy I fuck, Dean. I mean yes you are a really good fuck, and I mean _good,"_ Dean couldn’t stop blushing at that, “But you’re way more than that to me. You’re the only guy I want, and not just for a quickie in the shower, or after classes. I want us try and give this a real shot… you know, be together, like… boyfriends? I know that you think you love me now, and that’s cute, honestly it is, but you should give it more time, in six more months you’ll probably run for the hills once you've figured out you can't get rid of me.”

Dean rolled his eyes at him, but still laughed and placed a small, chaste kiss on his lips, “I haven’t gone anywhere yet have I? Besides, I know how I feel, but if you need more time, then time is what I’ll give you, but I am very happy to call you _my_ boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah?’ Roman teased his lips over Dean’s while taking his hoodie off, “Let’s see how happy you’ll be with your new boyfriend’s dick in your mouth.” Dean made an overly excited face, which Roman laughed at. “I saw you eying it at the door pretty boy. If you want it so bad, take it.”

Dean smirked at him, then kissed his lips before making his way down Roman’s thick body. He stood up, and took off his tight jeans revealing a new pair of very snug briefs that weren’t his size, but it was still pretty cute.

“Someone went shopping in Texas I see,” Roman stood up after him, and grabbed at Dean’s ass, making it jiggle in his hands.

“I did, but I underestimated how tight they were. I think you’re right, you’re gonna have to take me shopping.” Dean smirked, while their foreheads pressed together lightly, he felt Roman pull him flush against his body, and yet again his soft lips were felt against his own. He missed all of this so much, he missed him so much too.  

“I promise I will,” He smiled, “But that has to happen later, because right now, all I want is these tight little briefs completely off and you on your beautiful knees.. can you do that for me, pretty boy?”

Dean felt Roman rip at his underwear, making them fall off his skin like silk, all while they released a week's worth of pent up passion and lust in a kiss that Dean felt with his whole body.  He pushed Roman against the wall, making his posters crumple behind him as their tongues began to talk for them both.

Not soon before long, Dean was on his knees, with Roman’s dick somewhere deep down his throat, and while his new boyfriend began to moan, Dean started questioning how he could ever… let this man go.

* * *

 

**Two weeks later.**

“I thought you said you had to go to the young republican leaders gala thingy tonight?”

Roman could barely get out the words since he and Dean were having an intense make out session underneath a very shaded tree near Newman hall. Dean texted Roman around 9pm to meet him outside, and the surprised samoan man did as he was told, only to find Dean, in a disheveled suit, hiding underneath a tree. It didn’t take three minutes before Roman's hands were all over him, and Dean was pressed against the oak while his boyfriend’s tongue ruled over his mouth and those large hands grabbed at his ass.

“I left early,” Dean confessed when Roman’s lips moved down towards his neck. “I was around a bunch of friends and all I could think about was your mouth all night long,” Roman kissed back up his neck, and soon blue eyes met brown. They were smiling at each other, like goofy teenagers who couldn't keep their hands or mouths to themselves. _God, Dean loved the way he smiled._ It had to be religion, god, or a deity, if it weren't... how would you explain making a man so fucking perfect in almost every way?

“I told you I shouldn't of gave you that blow job this morning, every time I do it's all you think about. I don't want your grades to slip because you accidentally handed in a paper on how good I suck dick,” They both laughed at that, then a soft kiss was placed on his lips, “Come on, come to my room, Seth isn't home so it's just me and you and I really can't wait to get you out of that suit.”  

Roman made Dean smile yet again, and when he held out his hand for him to take Dean took it with no hesitation. They laced their fingers together and let the moonlight behind them be their guide to Newman hall. Roman started talking about classes, making a joke about his professor in the grad program hitting on him and Dean couldn’t stop laughing about it. They were having a healthy conversation while their hands caressed over each other’s softly. Two more weeks added to the months of being with him and Dean was happier beyond comparison, nothing could ruin their relationship, or this amazing night with Roman…

_Right?_

They stopped right before they reached Newman because Roman was feeling all lovey, Dean made sure no one was around before he felt his boyfriend pull him in close. Dean wrapped his arms around Roman's shoulders and smiled at the best thing in his sedentary life right now. They both looked up at the moon, then into each other’s eyes. He saw Roman smile before leaning down, they were both already to kiss yet again but…

“Dean?”

He heard a voice call out his name and that’s when Dean saw Jack and Summer from the distance, beginning to walk over to him. Dean quickly pulled away from Roman, pushing him without meaning too, his heart beating super fast as he waved at both of them while they began to come towards him and Roman.

“Dean, hey!” Jack yelled at him.

“Roman just go,” Dean whispered to him before they got closer.

“Go? Go where? They already fucking saw us Dean, if I leave now it'll look suspicious!” Roman tried to reason.

“I can smooth it over just _fucking_ go now!” Dean told him in a tone he's never taken with Roman before. He expected Roman to leave but of course the stubborn samoan didn't. Of course he was staying, and of course Jack had to catch him in the middle of the night  almost kissing his very secret boyfriend. _Fuck._ This night couldn’t get any worse.

“Dean!” Jack smiled at him, coming over to hug him before pulling back, “Hey man, I said no way it could be Dean over here late at night, but Summer said that looked like just like you so she made me shout out your name.”

“I guess I was right,” Summer giggled nonchalantly.

“Jack, Summer, hey.” Dean replied almost defeatedly, “What are you guys doing all the way over here? The frat is all the way across campus.”

“We were out on a midnight scroll after the gala, since it's nice out for once,” Jack and Summer stood there arm and arm looking between Dean and Roman. He gave Roman the once over, and then focused back on Dean, “So… who's this?” Jack asked curiously.

“This?” Dean looked at Roman who was quieter a mouse as he looked idly around. _“This is no one.”_ Dean answered in such a low voice he hoped Roman didn't hear, but from the sad look on Roman's face after the words fell out of his mouth, Dean realized.. he did.

“No one? That's a bit rude,” Summer injected, before placing her hand out for Roman to shake, “I'm Summer, and you are?”

“No one huh?” Roman was livid, as he turned to Dean, “I'm fucking no one?”

“Hey dude chill,” Jack interjected, “If you're not no one… then who are you?”

“Oh I don't know,” a very angry Roman replied, “Why don't you ask _Dean._  Tell your friends who I am, Dean.” Roman crossed his arms, daring Dean to answer the question truthfully.

“You…” Dean looked around at the three faces that were staring back at him. Jack, who was confused, Summer who was worried, and Roman, who was beyond upset it almost looked like he wanted to cry. _Fuck._ He didn’t mean for this to happen, but there he was, about to get caught by his best friend and Dean couldn’t find the only words that would actually let him leave this conversation without hurting those he loves.

“He's some gay guy who keeps stalking me.” the lie that floated through his lips hurt even him, but there was nothing worse than the brown eyes filling with tears as he looked back into the lying blue ones of Dean's. “It's been going on for months. He constantly texts me, stalks my social media, everything. He just won't LEAVE me alone. When are you gonna get it? HUH? I DON'T LIKE MEN OR YOU AND I NEVER WILL. GOT IT?”

Roman felt tears running down his face before he could stop them. His cheeks were burning red with anger, hurt, and resentment. He sniffled, and laughed sarcastically before rolling his eyes, “Fuck you, Dean.” he spat angrily, before he walked off, into the night.

Dean wanted to go after him, to tell him he didn't mean it but the damage was already done. He watched him go, then felt Jack’s warm hand on his very cold shoulder. Dean turned around, and kept his eyes on the ground and hands in his pockets defeatedly.

“Woah, that was oddly… intense. I didn't know you had a gay stalker, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you dude,” Jack and Summer both brought Dean in for hugs, and while he hugged him back, all Dean could see was the man he hurt figure fading away and the moonlight disguising the red eyes and shame Dean felt for being untruthful.

* * *

Roman came into the dorm hall, angrily wiping tears away as he walked to his room. He couldn't believe that Dean hurt him this way, and that he lied when he could've easily told his friends the truth. He told Faye so why not them? Was it because Faye caught them making out so it was different? Or was he just playing Roman these past months, pretending like he cared about him when in reality he only cared about sex, and his goddamned himself.

 _Fuck him._ Roman kept thinking.

He wanted nothing to do with Dean Ambrose, never again.

Roman turned the corner then came down the hallway, ready to sleep this horrible night away but... Finn was there. Sitting in front of his dorm room, with his knees against his chest, most likely waiting for Roman.

Roman rolled his tear filled eyes, this was the _last_ thing he needed right now. He took out his key and did his best to ignore Finn while he walked over and tried to open the door.

“Hey, I've been looking all over for you, I wanna talk about something…” Finn got up, and tried to have a conversation with Roman but Roman just ignored him. He looked at his face and saw how red it was, plus his eyes were puffy. Automatically, Finn knew something was wrong.  “What's happened?” Finn asked gently, but Roman still wouldn't answer, “Roman, look at me.” He had his hand on the door but Finn pulled it off and forced his sad eyes on him. “What's going on?”

“Nothing, just go Finn,” Roman sobbed, trying, but failing to open his room door.

“I'll never leave you like this hey…” Finn pulled him in, and with little reluctance Roman let himself be held around the waist. “Tell me… was it Dean?” Roman said nothing. “It was, wasn't it?” Roman looked down, away from Finn's judgemental gaze and he nodded, softly. _"Fuck that arsehole,"_ Finn's accent was deep as he cursed Dean’s name. “He doesn't deserve you, Roman, he never did, do you hear me?” he placed his thumb on Roman's chin and made him see that he was serious. Roman let his tears fall, and that's when he grabbed onto Finn's hand and held it in his own.

“You're so damn beautiful, and you deserve better,” Finn said it softly, and once his blue eyes met brown, something came over him. Finn looked into his eyes, then at his lips before he acted on pure impulse. He breathed out heavily, tempation taking over thought as he leaned down to kiss Roman softly. He shocked his ex at first, so much so that Roman very softly pushed him away, but Finn stood his ground, he cupped both sides of Roman’s face gently, then kissed him again.

This time Roman didn't push him away, he felt those familiar lips on his own and Roman didn’t know what came over him as he let Finn kiss him. He audibly sobbed into each kiss, trying to ignore the way his broken heart felt... as Finn kissed him all the way inside.

* * *

 Dean didn't sleep at all last night.

He couldn't stop tossing and turning thinking about Roman. He knew he hurt him and sending him a million _‘I'm so sorry’_ text messages and voicemails were ringing on death’s ear because there was no answer. He kept thinking about it, how he hurt him and how Roman must feel. He probably felt like Dean never cared about him which was so untrue because he fucking loved him and if only he were man enough to tell Jack that. He should've said it right then and there but Jack would’ve told everyone and Dean didn't need anyone in his business, especially when he didn't sort out who he was yet.

He put on whatever clean clothes he had, then opened his door to leave. When he came downstairs Dean saw Jack eating cereal but he didn’t stop to talk to him.

Right now, he needed to talk to Roman.

He never made it faster across campus. Hank, the security guard buzzed him in quick, sensing Dean's urgency and Dean practically charged inside. He turned the corner then walked down the hall to Roman’s dorm where he knocked frantically hoping Roman opened the door. “Roman?” Dean yelled through the door, “Roman I'm so sorry, please, open up!” No answer, “I'm not going away, Roman! I'll stand here all day if I have too just please talk to me… Roman, please… I am-”

The door opened before Dean could finish his sentence. He hoped it was Roman but it wasn't. It was actually Seth, almost naked while his arms were crossed in front of him.

“You can quit your groveling, Roman isn't here..” Seth told him honestly. He opened the door so Dean could see a made up bed with no Roman in sight. He sighed heavily, wishing Roman was there but… apart of him knew he wouldn't be.

“Seth look, I know he probably told you about what happened between us…”

“He told me everything, after he was done crying of course. You can save me the whole you didn't mean it bullshit speech because I don't want to hear it. I never liked you, and now I never will. If you want to try Roman who likes you even less than I do right now then go to his theater class. Near Friedman hall. Now if you'll excuse me, I would much rather sleep then look at your unkempt red hair and oily face.”

Seth slammed the door in Dean’s face and that’s when Dean took off. He had to find Roman and apologize, even if he didn’t want to hear it. He ran across campus to Friedman theatre. He was out of breath when he got inside and opened the door frantically, interrupting the end of the class.

All of the students looked up, including Roman at Dean who was breathing hard as he looked back at them. The bell rang and that’s when everyone began getting there stuff together. Dean came down the center and noticed Roman talking to a shorter female. She was pretty and if Roman wasn't gay Dean would be totally jealous of how they were laughing together. He made it to the stage and stopped right in front of Roman and the girl, interrupting their conversation.

“Roman, can we talk please?” Dean asked softly.

“No,” Roman replied, firm.

“Please, Roman?”

“No, now go away Dean.”

“Roman listen…” Dean tried touch him but instead was pushed away by the girl instead.

“Didn't he say go away?” The girl stated, firmly.

“Yes but I only want to talk..” Dean tried to defend himself.

“How about you talk to your friends instead, and tell them that you like cock and have, wait _had_ a boyfriend. Tell them how you ruined everything because you're too afraid to be who you are in 2017!  You colossal _FUCKING_ idiot!”

“Patricia…” Roman stepped in, coming in between his friend and Dean. “Thank you, but I got this. Okay?”

“No! I told you Roman, you're better off with Finn. He cares about you, you deserve better than this fucking jerk!” The brunette lunged at Dean but Roman stopped her, and held her shoulders in both hands. He whispered something to her then Patricia nodded, and took her stuff, flipping Dean off before she began to walk away.

“So do you just go around telling all of my business to anyone willing to hear or?” Dean asked, quite angrily.

“Yeah, that's what gay stalkers do!” Roman said back sarcastically,  “I tell everyone that the guy I've been seeing for months wasn't man enough to tell his friends he was about to kiss me in public so I out him, to anyone willing to hear.” He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Patty is my friend, I've known her for years. She won't tell anyone your big gay secret. Don't worry, daddy's money is still safe!”

“That's not fair, Roman!” Dean said back.  

“Fuck you and fuck fair. Go away, Dean.” Roman grabbed his stuff and was about to leave but he was stopped by Dean grabbing onto his arm and pulling him in.

“Just wait.. Roman please, hear me out, three minutes then you never have to see me again if you don't want to… please Roman.”

Roman looked away from his gaze and then pulled back from him. He didn't want to hear his lame excuses but apart of him still wanted to give Dean a chance. Even though that part of him was small, Roman figured he'd hear him out, then never speak to him again. He sighed, then sat down at the edge of the stage where Dean followed.

“Okay, fine. You have _exactly_ three minutes…. I'm listening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no words for this. - Melle


	10. Water Under The Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you're not the one for me, why do I hate the idea of being free?

It was silent for a long time.

Roman told him he only had three minutes to explain himself and Dean didn't know if that was enough to say sorry and make his boyfriend understand exactly why he did what he did. Yes, it was stupid to blurt out that Roman was no one to him, and even worse to say that he was some kind of stalker when in reality he was the only person who really cared for Dean. He twiddled his thumbs together, both of them hearing nothing but silence in the theater as Dean tried to figure out how to tell the man he loved that he was undeniably sorry.

“I know you may think silence works best for you in this situation, but it's only making me angrier,” The way Roman spoke to him, with his voice sharp and guarded was the reason Dean didn't say anything right off the bat. He was already pissed and saying anything to eradicate that would only push Roman further away than he was now. “Say something, Dean, or I walk.” He told him firmly. “Your choice.”

“I honestly don't know what to say,” Dean finally spoke up, even though his voice was low. “I could say I'm sorry but you already have a million voicemails of me saying just that. I could tell you I'm a fucking idiot and you’d agree because you're pissed at me, and you have every right to be.”  Dean exhaled softly, his hands squared against his jeans while his blue eyes looked over at Roman.  “I don’t know what to say to make this okay, Roman, because right now I feel like you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Roman said back quickly.

“No? But freezing me out and sicking your bitchy friend on me? What's that then? Cause it sure as hell doesn't feel like love, Roman.” Dean retorted fast, his anger somewhat rising.

“I told you, Patty is a friend who let me vent when I needed someone, and I never said I loved you Dean. You assumed it. I don't fall in love easy okay, I've been hurt before and-”

“By Finn right?” Dean said, cutting him off, “The same guy who broke your heart yet you STILL have him in your life even though all he does is hurt you over and over again? I bet he was there for you last night too, wasn't he? You probably called him and let him _fuck_ you because he wins right? He gets to have you when you KNOW deep down he doesn't fucking deserve you!”

Roman’s eyes shot up with guilt as he heard Dean call him out. He stood up, and tried to walk away towards the back of the stage but Dean was hot on his heel, grabbing at him so Roman couldn’t get far. “You fucked him didn't you?’ Dean asked him, his words coming out so angry he could barely stand it. “TELL ME THE TRUTH ROMAN!”

“Fuck you,” Roman pushed Dean hard, causing Dean to release his hold on him. He started walking again but Dean followed him, screaming at Roman from behind.

“YOU DID! YOU FUCKED HIM AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE MAN ENOUGH TO ADMIT IT!” Dean yelled to Roman’s retreating back, “Tell me, was he good? Was it _so great_ to have Finn again? Did it feel _familiar_ when you were deep inside of that cheater? Was he as good as it feels when you fuck me?”

Roman stopped at that, froze in place in the back of the theater. Dean could see his back, heaving in and out in harsh deep breaths right before he turned around, slowly. Dean never saw his eyes like that before. They were a darker brown, almost feral. He began walking towards Dean, more like stalking towards him and before Dean realized what was happening he was pushed hard against a wall.

“I _did_ fuck him,” Roman spat, as he pressed his body against Dean’s. “I fucked him with tears in my eyes because of you.” He squeezed tight on Dean’s waist, blue eyes intense as they looked into brown. “But while I was _deep_ inside of a man who hurt me, all I could think about was you and fucking you, having you, making you scream my name…”

 _“Fuck you,”_ Dean said back violently. He was planning on pushing Roman away but he felt his hands grab at his ass through his sweats, Dean automatically gasped, his blue eyes staring as brown ones pulled him harshly flush against his body.

“Gladly,” Roman replied and when he pushed him, he pushed him hard, so hard that Dean actually thought he sprained something. He felt his sweatpants being pulled down around his waist, and his white boxers forced with them. Dean kicked off his shoes and in the same moment, clothes started being torn off both men’s bodies.

When they were naked, Roman pressed Dean against the wall, and pulled his ass towards him, slapping it and making it jiggle in his palm. Roman’s dick was already out, hard, red, and begging for release. He teased it against Dean’s ass over and over, while he grabbed at red hair, and spat into his hand, stroking his own erection over and over right before he slowly made his way into that beautiful puckered entrance.

“Oh... my... fucking... hell!” It was the first time Dean's ever felt him this… raw. They fucked in the shower without condoms but only after tons of foreplay. This was different, this was anger, this was lust, this was Roman showing him he still cared even though he was pissed off. He felt all 8 inches, and after one big thrust, Roman began to fuck him like he's never fucked him before. He was harsh with his thrusts, pounding into Dean all that pent up frustration. Dean was just as bad, locking eyes with Roman but every time the samoan boy went for a kiss he'd pull back, and dig into his skin.

“Fuck!” They managed to moan out at the same time, especially when Dean grabbed at the back of his hair and pulled it, forcing Roman to fuck him faster. They never had sex like this, yes Dean loved it when Roman got rough with him but this was something different. He was used to cuddles and kisses after and during, but Dean was sure he wouldn't be getting that now.

He felt Roman grab at his erection, and stroke it with each hard thrust inside of him. Dean loved the way he owned his body, even when Dean was pissed at him, Roman still had a way of making him his, all over again. Dean felt himself on the brink and as he moaned, he was kissed to drown it out. He let Roman kiss him this time, his tongue and their teeth clashing harshly while they started to slowly come together.

Roman entwined his hands with Dean's on the wall, their kisses and his thrusts slowing down as his come spilled into Dean. When he was completely drained, he stopped, but didn’t pull out yet. He kissed him some more, their entwined hands now centered on Dean’s stomach, while they let their mouths do the talking for them…. if only for awhile.

When he finally pulled out, Dean came back to reality, the realization that he was losing the man he loved more than anything over something so stupid. His stupid mistake. He deserved it. Roman pressed his sweaty forehead against Dean's and they both breathed out softly.  “I think we need a break,” Roman whispered his eyes closed as he said it. It was breaking his heart to tell Dean this but it's what he truly felt in his heart. “We both hurt each other last night, and even though I would never try to force you out of the closet baby,  I still think I need to be with someone who at least wants me to know their friends, even on a platonic level. _I want you,_ so bad Dean.. but you're not ready.”

Dean nodded, as much as his heart was breaking he weirdly understood where Roman was coming from. He loved him, but he hurt Roman and he needed time. Dean loved him enough to give him that. Even if it took years, Roman deserved something real, and most importantly he deserved to be happy.

He pulled Dean into him and they caressed each other on the wall, naked in a theater, where a class was about to start in 30 minutes. Dean savored his touch for now, realizing that this could be the last time he’d get too.

“Please, don't hate me.” Roman begged as he looked deep into softening blue eyes.

“I could never hate you.” Dean replied.  He was hurting but he couldn't show it, not now. He loved Roman and he lost him in 4 months all because he was scared and if Dean were being honest… he'd never truly know, when he would be ready.

* * *

 

**A few months later.**

Dean realized he had never truly been in love until he met Roman. He was with Faye for 5 years, but the moment it was over between them Dean felt… relieved. Not because she was a bad person, but more like she wasn't right for him. He thought that one day he'd finally find someone he could be happy with, that one day he'd find that perfect girl and he'd marry her, and become everything his father wanted him to be.

All of that changed when he met Roman.

He completely changed the way Dean thought, he changed his perspective, and made Dean fall in love with not only him, but the thought of being with someone who loved every part of him. He laid in bed, and sighed while looking up at his ceiling. Dean thought he'd stop thinking about him soon enough, but each day that went past he got more and more hung up on the fact that he wasn't his anymore. He lost the best thing in his life because he was a fucking coward, too afraid to own up to his truth.

A knock on his door interrupted Dean’s thoughts. He sniffled, then told whoever it was to come in. Jack’s blond hair was the first thing Dean saw before he came in with a grocery bag of what smelled like food. Dean hasn't eaten in days, he almost forgot what good food smelled like. He waved at Jack, then turned around again, towards his window. The sun was shining, it was such a nice day and all Dean could think about was sleeping it away.

“Hey buddy,” Jack said as he came over and sat on his bed. “I brought us some breakfast from Harry's off campus. Your favorite, pancakes, eggs and greasy bacon.” Jack started unpacking the stuff but his best friend didn't move an inch. It was like he was completely frozen, a statue of the boy Jack once knew. Yeah, Dean didn't like going out with him or Cody often, but Jack would normally convince him otherwise. But lately, for _months_ now, Dean seemed less of himself. Jack barely saw him eat and when he did, he wouldn't say much to anyone besides hi or bye then it was back upstairs to his room to do homework.

Jack tried to figure out what was wrong with him. He thought that maybe Dean got a bad grade in one of his favorite classes but he checked, he was passing everything with flying colors. Then he thought that it could've been a girl who rejected him but, Dean never had any girls around, besides Faye who, hasn't spoken to him in months. Jack tried to understand what was going on that was making his best friend this shell of himself but nothing came to mind.

So he made up a plan.

He was going to try to see if he wanted food, not any food but his _favorite_ food from Harry's diner, and then maybe.. Dean would vent to him. Jack opened up the steel container that had the bacon in it, and suddenly, he could see his best friend turning. He smiled when he saw Dean turn towards him, looking at Jack then at the bacon expectantly. Jack made him a plate of everything then poured syrup over it and within seconds, Dean was up, stuffing his face full of great breakfast.

“Woah, someone is hungry huh?” Jack said as he watched Dean eat.

“Uh, yeah… thanks.” Dean told him quietly.

“No problem dude, I umm… I haven’t seen you eat with the guys in days and I was starting to worry you know, about you.”  

Dean looked down when Jack said he was worried about him. He hadn't noticed that Jack may have saw how he was acting recently. Dean didn't think anyone would recognize that he wasn’t himself. He knew he shouldn't of betted against Jack figuring that something was up. “What do you mean?” Dean tried his best to cover up his sadness, “I'm fine dude, don't be silly.”

“Are you?” Jack asked curiously, “Because I've never seen you like this before. You're _not_ eating, you're moping around the house, you never want to come out,  it's almost like, someone broke your heart or something.”

“I…” Dean shook his head, avoiding Jack’s gaze like the plague. “I go to school, I get good grades, that's all that matters. To dad, to mom, to everyone. So what if I'm moping around. As long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing who cares right?”

“Yeah school is important dude, but it's not everything and neither is pleasing your family. Besides that's not what this is about, don't try to change the subject. I asked you if someone broke your heart. Is that what this is? Did someone hurt you?”

The way Jack asked was so compassionate. He wanted to know what happened to Dean to make him into this mess of himself. His best friend cared about him, but the question was one Dean couldn't answer. Not truthfully anyway. How would Jack react to knowing Dean fell in love with another man? It goes against everything Jack stood for. He'd get judged, mocked and disowned by his family. Dean couldn't handle losing Roman and everyone else that mattered too.

“No one hurt me, I'm doing okay,” Dean lied then he took a few more bites of food and laid back down. His head hit the pillow, and with a sigh, Dean started to stare out the window once again. “Just go.”

“Dean, come on, I'm your best friend. I've known you for a long time, so please give me some credit okay? I know _something_ is wrong, and whatever it is, you feel the need to hide it from me. Why? What could you have possibly done that you have to hide it from people who care about you the most?”

“Jack,” Dean lost his breath, trying to hold back tears. He wished Jack wouldn't do this. Not now, not when he was vulnerable and not even little bit over Roman. “Please, just leave it alone,” Dean begged.

“Dean, you're crying?” Jack heard him sob and that’s when he grabbed at him, “Come here,” he told Dean, pulling him into his arms for a tight hug. Dean resisted at first, trying to pull away but Jack only held him tighter, and eventually, Dean gave in. He grabbed at Jack’s back and cried all those days, weeks, months of pain on him. He never thought heartbreak would be this bad, but then again he never thought he’d fall for Roman either.

He pulled back, violently trying to wipe his tears away. Jack stayed close to him, even when Dean bunched up the ends of his long sleeve shirt, and held them in his hands.

“I wasn't hurt,” Dean whispered, his voice coming out sad and broken, “I hurt someone.” he confessed, looking down.

“Okay,” Jack was calm, he figured Dean needed that right now. “Who did you hurt?”

“You'll never look at me the same way,” Dean whimpered out, his blue eyes catching Jack’s, the sorrow and pain and guilt now more prevalent than ever.

“Let me be the judge of that.” Jack placed his hand in Dean’s clothed one and held it in his own. “Talk to me?”

“I don’t know where to start,” Dean licked the tears away from his wet lips and exhaled sharply, “Do you um, remember that guy, who I said was my gay stalker when you saw me and him near Newman?” Jack only nodded, “Well, he wasn't nobody, and he _definitely_ wasn't stalking me.”

“Okay, then who was he?”

“He was my…” Dean could barely get out the words from crying so much, “My boyfriend.”

“Okay.” Jack said again, all too calmly.

 _“Okay?”_ Dean asked back wide eyed and confused, “I thought..” He shook his head, “I thought you'd hate me or curse my name or call me a fag or a sinner or something.”

“Really? Do I look like the gay bashing type?” Jack asked, and Dean just shook his head. “I mean, it's definitely not my thing but, on some level I guess I knew. Not because I thought you were into me or whatever, it's just that, well you said he was a stalker, but you posted him three times on your instagram without captions. One of them, seemed like a dorm room pic early in the morning… I didn't want to assume anything, I just thought you found a good model for your photography thing you're into but I guess he's… more than that?”

A shocked Dean just... nodded softly, “I was.. seeing him in secret, for almost four months until I ruined it, that night with you and Summer. I was so scared that you'd find out and judge me or tell the other guys that I called him the stupidest thing that came to mind and that was a stalker. I hurt him and now he wants nothing to do with me.” Dean shook his head, feeling the tears come on yet again.

“Oh god Dean,” Jack laughed a bit, causing Dean to look up him confused, “I never thought I'd see the day you were in so love but seriously dude you got it bad.”

“Shut up,” Dean said back, pushing Jack playfully, “I'm serious he told me I wasn’t ready for a real relationship. Maybe I'm not, I mean I say stupid shit all the time and-”

“And… 4 months ago you had no clue you could even like boys until now. We all say dumb shit and yeah, the guy needs time to himself for awhile but trust me, Dean.. I don't think it's over.”

“You sound so confident,” Dean was smiling through his tears. He couldn't believe he actually told Jack the truth and he didn't judge him. He thought it would be bad but it actually ended up okay… for now. He doubted the rest of the guys would be as happy as Jack was about this though.

“You don't sound confident enough!” Jack retorted, “You act like he's not hung up on you too. You both were in that relationship, and you dated him for awhile and it's obvious that he likes you alot. Maybe you should just give him time. I know it hurts right now, but I promise it'll get better. Okay?”

Dean smiled at his friend, and nodded at him gently. He knew that Roman would never come back, he fucked up too bad, but it was still nice to finally talk to someone about everything that was going on. His best friend surprised him by being accepting and if Dean knew this weeks ago he'd still be with the man he loved more than anything. Jack kicked off his shoes then put his feet up in Dean’s bed then began to eat. Dean laid down on his pillow watching him, with a smile forming on his own.

“You're okay?” Jack asked while his mouth was full of bacon.

“Yeah,” Dean replied, “I think I will be.”

* * *

 

**_A few days later._ **

He kissed down Roman’s neck.

The same kisses that Roman remembered once as being the best kisses he's ever gotten now felt like nothing more than familiarity. He felt Finn kiss near his collar bone now, and Roman closed his eyes, trying to enjoy it. But every time he closed his eyes he saw someone who wasn’t Finn, a boy who Roman ended it with months ago, the one he couldn’t stop thinking about.

“Do you like that?” Finn asked Roman, while grabbing at his thigh to pull him in closer.

“Uh sure,” Roman said back, with his eyes still closed.

He and Finn never talked about that night, or the months after Roman told him he broke up with Dean. Actually they didn't talk much at all. They fucked a lot though. It was one thing Roman did miss about Finn. He knew how to make Roman feel better with his dick. But, Roman didn't know if he was fucking Finn again because he truly missed him or if it was because he missed Dean. He was right to end it, things between them were so tense, and Roman was still hurt by the fact that Dean couldn't even say he was a friend to him.

It was okay if he missed him though right?

Because he did miss him… a lot.

He dreamt about his smile in class, and the way he laughed when being tickled. He missed his smell, and seeing a sea of red hair on his chest in the morning. Roman even missed the banter, the way they argued over human rights, their differences, their debates.. he missed it all. He felt Finn's lips dancing across his abs towards his dick. The Samoan man moaned when his talented lips went around his dick but, this time… he something in him couldn't… enjoy it.

He pulled back, making Finn fall to the side of him then sat up in bed. Finn ran an overly frustrated hand through his short black hair then exhaled sharply, “THREE FUCKING TIMES!” Finn shouted before getting up to get dressed.

“What?” Roman asked, once he figured out that Finn had been talking to him.

“Three times I've come over and you've done this. We're about to have sex then you pull away. You've done this shit three fucking times Roman, and this time I had the fucking head of your dick in my fucking mouth!” Finn placed his shirt over his head then put his jeans on without any underwear. Roman heard him say a couple of curse words in Irish and that's how he knew Finn was pissed beyond talking too.

“Finn, I'm sorry,” Roman tried to apologize.

“Don't say sorry, just sort your shit out, and call me when you finally make up your fucking mind.”  Finn grabbed his leather jacket then made a quick exit out of Roman's room. He watched him go, sighing when Finn left because now Roman would have to text him an apology. He laid back in bed, naked, and contemplating.

He got back with Finn to get over Dean but all being with Finn did was make him miss Dean even more. He sweet talked his way back into Roman’s life yet again but this time Roman was the one halfway in it, one foot in that told him that Finn was the best guy for him. After all he was hot, Irish and he loved Roman unconditionally, despite fucking it all up once.

Then there was the other foot, out, that told him he deserved someone better. Someone who admits when he's wrong, owns his flaws and made Roman happier in 4 months than he did in 4 years with Finn. The ground over there was much higher, in the sense that he knew Finn would hurt him again, that he knew he shouldn't go back to a cheater who wanted to explore other men while with him. No matter how much Roman still cared about Finn, he wouldn't be able to jump back in, not with his whole heart at least. Hed always go back to that moment, he found Finn in Sami's bed, and his tears that never fully went away like the emotional scars that never healed.

Roman looked over at his alarm clock, it was 3pm. He sighed and decided that he should take a walk, maybe then he would clear his head. Seth came in when he was getting dressed, and he whistling when he saw Roman’s jeans being pulled up over his beautiful ass. Seth bit down of his lip and sighed softly. Why he ever decided to friendzone Roman was the stupidest decision he ever made.

“Going somewhere?” Seth asked curiously, “With Finn I presume?”

“Nah, I'm going to meet up with Patty and Nicole downtown later, right now I'm just going to go to the pier and clear my head.” Roman gave Seth a hug and smiled. “You can tell me all about what Hunter did _this time_ when I get back.”

“Good, you noticed.” Seth smiled, “Okay, hot stuff, I'll be waiting.”

* * *

 About an hour later, Roman sat on a bench, enjoying the view of the sea. He was from a small beach town in Florida, so Roman always grew up around water. He laughed to himself  remembering the time when he was 18. He finally got the courage to tell his dad that he was gay, after him and his mom hid it from him for months. They went fishing together and Roman blurted it out, along with the fact that he was seeing a boy named Finn. His dad almost fell into the ocean once he heard the news. It took him awhile but, eventually he got over it.

Roman exhaled softly, his palms pressed into each other’s as looked out into the vast majority of water in front of him. For some reason his mind went to Dean yet again, and this time he couldn’t stop seeing wet Dean, smiling in the shower when Roman would kiss him against the wall. He had to stop thinking about him, which was hard to do when all he wanted to do was think about him. _Ugh._ This wasn’t working. Roman got up and decided to leave, maybe if he went back to the dorm and listened to Seth rant about Hunter then maybe it'd help him to stop thinking about Dean.

He walked up the path towards the park, that was filled with tall trees and bright green grass. It crunched underneath his feet, and the sun was shining a little too bright. He was walking past a one of the big, bushy trees when he noticed someone under it. The boy had red hair, and he was by himself, taking photos on a big camera.

_It was Dean._

_Fuck._ How ironic was it that the one person Roman couldn't get off his mind ended up being in the same place as him, doing two different things. He hadn't noticed Roman yet, or at all for that matter. He stood there, watching Dean take pictures of the bird in front of him who was chirping by the tree. He had a contented smile on his face, although Roman always noticed he was more happy just taking photos than doing anything else.  Roman decided to go over and say hello. They could be friendly even if they weren't dating right? He walked over with a smile on his face, then sat down right next to him, getting his full attention.

“Ro?” Dean was surprised to see him. It's been weeks, he didn't think he'd ever see him again. “Hi.”

“Hey pretty boy,” Roman teased him and it made Dean blush, those beautiful pale cheeks staining a tomato red was Roman's favorite thing about him. “I saw you, taking pictures all by yourself and I figured I would come over, and… just say hi.”

“Hi,” Dean said again, his lovesick heart beating fast as he looked into the brown eyes. “How are things?”

“They're okay,” Roman lied, “I got back with Finn.” He didn't know why he felt the need to tell Dean that. He already broke up with him he didn't need to stick the knife in even more. Plus, it wasn't even true… well not really anyway.

“That's… good I guess,” Dean said while looking down at his camera. “I'm just happy you're happy.” A lie from Dean this time around, he wasn't happy, he was miserable but doing better now that he had Jack to talk with. The only thing Dean was focused on now was trying to take it one day at a time.

“I'm trying to make you jealous and yet you just wish me to be happy?” Roman smiled, “I think I miss the smart, republican jackass who talked shit even when I fucked him.”

“That jackass is still here, he's just… a little heartbroken and trying to be mature about it.”

Dean’s answer shocked Roman. He thought he'd get mad at him for going back to Finn, and for trying to hurt him again, instead there he was, with his heart on his sleeve, trying to be mature enough to be happy for Roman.  He was the one who felt like a jackass now. Hurting him like this was never apart of Roman's plan.

“Dean, I'm sorry.” Roman said quickly, “I never meant to hurt you, I was just so angry at you, for pretending like we were nothing, like I was nothing more than a stalker to your best friend. It hurt me, I needed time.”

“I know,” Dean spoke softly, his blue eyes were shining while the glow of the sun soaked his pale skin, making him irresistible. “I fucked up, and I'm trying to own it. I miss you, but I understand why you ended it.”

Roman paused for a second to look at Dean before he confessed, “I miss you too.”

He couldn't say no more than that because no other words mattered. He got lost in the blue eyes, that were already lost in him and slowly, their hands danced their way towards each other. They entwined on Roman's lap, and as Dean moved forward he felt the beat, beat beat of his heart pumping faster than ever before. He pressed his forehead against Roman's, eyes were closed, and hearts raced, their breath was becoming uneven, the trees rustled gently behind them, and in a moment, time stood still as Roman's lips touched Dean’s again for the first time in months.

They couldn’t help themselves, once their lips connected it was like that chemistry they both thought faded away became even more palpable than before. Roman pulled Dean into his lap, his camera falling to the side of them as he was placed so flush against his body. They breathed out heavily, then lips were back on lips and his hands were on Dean’s ass all too soon, making him moan like only Roman could.

“I want you,” Roman heard Dean whisper it against his lips, and with a flash of blue and brown, the sun as their backdrop and the tree shading their lust, Roman began to undress him, and for the very first time under a tall tree in the park where the sun began to set, Roman let himself make love, to the one guy, he missed the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a lot happened in the chapter, what do you guys think? Ambreigns or Baloreigns? -Melle


	11. Shape of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> intense sex, lies, realizations and gay clubs.

His body was drenched in sweat.

Roman’s lips danced over his pale skin, each kiss feeling even more electric than the one before. The soft sounds of _“I wanna know,"_  by Joe, on Roman's late 90’s contemporary R&B playlist softly blasted through the speakers while they came down from their high. He felt those amazing lips kiss each of his abs, then around his nipples before he reached his lips, making those beautiful pink lips his own while his legs spread to let him in.

Dean breathed out heavily as his body tangled up in Roman's, his kisses and hands were all over him, like he never wanted to touch anything else or anyone else. He pulled at the back of drenched black hair and held it in his own while Roman owned his mouth, like he owned every other part of him… at least for tonight. His lips left Dean's for that neck, sucking softly at his beautiful skin, making Dean moan out loudly. They spent months away from each other, only to come back with more chemistry than ever before. His lips popped off of Dean’s neck and he proudly smiled at the hickeys he just gave the red headed republican.

“You taste so good,” Roman whispered against his skin.

Dean laughed, while his favorite samoan lips danced across his neck down, making him shiver with each kiss. He had electricity in his lips, and seduction in his eyes as they came upon blue. “As good as Finn?” Dean teased, forcing Roman to stop, his large hands grabbing at Dean's slim waist, roughly pulling him forward.

“When I'm with you, _no else_ matters.” Roman whispered it against Dean's lips, while his hands slowly cascaded down the sides of his body. He knew not breaking up with Finn would be a challenge, especially when he decided that he couldn't stop fucking Dean, but Roman didn't want to hurt Finn, but he also realized now… that he couldn't get over Dean. His skin tasted like sweet vanilla ice cream, his laugh was infectious, his smile, and his moans were like a symphony. The moment they got back together in that park a couple of weeks ago, Roman knew..

He couldn't just let Dean go.

“Fuck,” Roman heard Dean moan once he started to come right in his lap, they kissed like a couple who had just gotten married, full of passion, and excitement, and lust. Roman wished he still felt passion like this for Finn but dammit he didn't. It was all Dean, 24/7 his thoughts, his actions.. he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to be with Dean all the time… and that scared him.

When they came down from their high, the kisses were softer, with Dean’s arms around his neck, and Roman’s hands on his ass. He kissed him back to his bed, and laid Dean down against him, caressing his beautiful skin, while Dean’s head turned upwards to answer the caress with more kisses.

“Mm,” Dean smiled, “I should go.”

“Why?” Roman asked between kisses, “You're always welcome to stay over… if you like.”

“You know I would, but like you said, this is casual and the more I stay over the more I want more than what you can offer. So I think I'll take my leave.” Dean kissed him yet again, and this time Roman added tongue to try and persuade him to stay. He wanted too, that wasn't the problem. It was that Roman told him he wasn't ready to move on completely yet from Finn, so Dean took Jack’s advice and tried his best to keep his emotions out of it. If Roman wanted him, he knew where to find him.

“Deannnnn.” Roman drawled out his name when Dean got up, and began to put on his boxers. “Come on, stay. I promise to be a good boy if you do,” he said, biting down on his bottom lip.

“We both know neither of us will be good boys if I stay. Especially me.” He put on Roman's shirt by accident, realizing it when it was too big for him. Roman smiled at him, and when Dean tried to take it back off, he stopped him and pulled him in close, for yet another kiss. Dean loved kissing him. He loved him period. But until Roman realized that, he wasn't going to act like the clingy mess he was before. He wanted to prove to Roman that he was ready, for a real relationship.

“Okay you can leave, but only if you promise to go on a date with me on Friday night. We can go off campus, get a bite to eat and have fun. So how about it, can I wine and dine you?”

The offer was so tempting, getting to spend the day with Roman, having him all to himself was something that Dean so insatiably craved, and more importantly Roman wanted Dean all Friday and maybe Saturday too. He couldn't pass it up, not that he wanted too.

“Okay, fine. Friday, I'm all yours. Text me when to meet you, I'll be there.”

Roman smiled at Dean's blush, he grabbed at him and gave him the softest kisses Dean's ever gotten. He felt his lips on his skin, tasting him yet again before Roman pulled away. They stared at each other for a long time, even when Dean put on his jeans and sneakers. The way Roman watched him was intoxicating, Dean never felt so desired like this before. He grabbed his hoodie, then kissed Roman once more, lips lingering before he pulled away, winking at him.

“I'll bring your shirt back,” Dean promised him.

“Keep it,” Roman said, getting off the bed to walk Dean to the door. “I love the idea of you in my clothes.”

They kissed for the thousandth time, reveling in the way their lips and bodies seem to fit perfectly together. Dean breathed out heavily, and pulled away, exiting the room. He felt like he was on air as he left, and as soon as he did he received a text Dean smiled at his phone, then looked up to see Roman smiling down from his window before he read it.

**Roman: Hey pretty boy, I miss you already.**

* * *

Later on that same night, Dean got back late. He thought he could just sneak back into the frat, without anyone noticing where he had been, take a nice long nap then be ready for class in the morning. That plan however, wasn't as “foolproof"as Dean imagined. He made it up the stairs,  and into his room, that was easy, but as soon as Dean closed the door behind him, the door rumbled with knocks. Dean groaned, realizing that it was obviously his best friend Jack, who was probably waiting for Dean to come home this entire time. It was 2 in the damn morning but somehow Jack still managed to smell out that Dean had been out all night long.  
****

“Hey dude,” Jack was smiling wide as he entered, his face lighting up as he saw Dean roll his eyes at him, then begin to undress. The shirt he was wearing was too big, and he had a hickey on both sides of his neck, and a undeniable smile on his face. “Long night?”

“Jack…” Dean turned away from him, to exchange his jeans with pjs. “Please don't start tonight okay? I'm so tired.”

“Mm. I can see that. It looks like someone _completely wore_ you out.” Jack playfully slapped near Dean's neck, making him wince and push Jack back hard. “Ooh bro, I'm sorry, the hickeys are still new huh?” He laughed.

“Shut up!” Dean whispered back to him. He tried to come in as late as possible so everyone would be sleeping and he didn't get interrogated about where he had been but he knew Jack was going to ask him where he was and Dean didn't want to tell him that he'd been with Roman again. They weren't really dating this time around, just having really great sex and Dean didn't want Jack in his head, filling it with emotions Dean was trying to keep at bay.

“So you're letting Roman fuck again huh?” Jack asked, crossing his curious arms, “How wild is your sex that you have marks and shit all over you?”

“Wouldn't you like to know?” Dean teased, smirking back at Jack. “Nah, it's not crazy sex… just intense. Sometimes we can't help ourselves is all…” Dean blushed, then got in bed and laid down, looking up at the ceiling.

“God, I'm so jealous, Summer won't even let me do anal.” Jack pouted his way to Dean’s bed, making him move over to lay with him. He watched Dean just smile, while looking up at the ceiling. His best friend was so in love, it was so obvious but also cute as hell. “So, are you two… official again or?”

“Um, no.” Dean told him honestly, his blue eyes now on Jack, “We both agreed to just be casual for now. I mean he's still seeing Finn and until that ends, I don't want to jump back into anything serious, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” Jack nodded, “It's smart, but don't be too casual about it. If you show him all you want is sex then that's all you'll be. Summer demanded respect from me, and it worked. I would never hurt her because she loves me and herself. Confidence is sexy too Dean, just because Finn still has his hooks in him now, doesn't mean it will be forever. All you gotta do, is make it known, you want him just as much as that other guy. Maybe more.”

Dean listened to Jack, and nodded, more to himself than to the blond. He was right. Roman was still seeing Finn, yes, but that didn't mean that they were back together. He wasn’t a type of guy who cheated, he was so hurt by Finn cheating on him that he couldn't find the means to love anyone else, no. That's not what this was. He was seeing Finn to get over Dean and it wouldn't long until he was completely over that irish bastard so, Dean shouldn't give in. He shouldn't just let Finn Balor have him and he wasn't.

Not by a long shot.

“You're right, Jack. You are so right.” Dean smiled, then pulled his phone off the charger to text Roman. Jack saw him smiling so he figured he helped in someway. He gave Dean a soft punch then left, and as soon as the door closed, Dean laid his head down on his pillow. He clicked send and once he saw that the message was delivered, Dean closed his very tired eyes and went to sleep.

* * *

 The next morning, Roman had been up since 6, but was too busy to answer his phone. He was working on his final paper on genre theory in subject matters of romance, hate and the thin line in between. His professor had him editing it, yet again after it has been marked up with red throughout his 25 pages. Roman didn't have time to check his messages or even look at his phone. He was on his third cup of coffee from Grounds, while making his edits when his phone went off.

Roman thought it might be Seth so at first he didn't answer. He was good at ignoring people when things needed to get done but his phone rang yet again. Cursing himself for not putting it on silent, Roman reached into his jacket pocket and answered it, while continuing to type.

“Hey babe,” Finn's gorgeous irish accent was the very first thing Roman heard, “I've been trying to get a hold of you all day.”

“Sorry, I was ignoring my phone,” Roman apologized, “Working on a paper…. Hey, I thought you were M.I.A there for a few days. You haven't called me or texted or anything.”

“Yeah uh…” Roman could hear sheets rustling in the background, he figured Finn was just getting out of bed. “I've been busy you know?” Somehow, Finn’s voice got even lower, almost like he was trying to whisper. “But I can come over tonight if you want? We can finally try reverse cowboy. I think it won't hurt that bad…”

“Yeah I uh…” Roman was going to say yes but he felt his phone buzzing again. He looked at the notification which said that he had one picture message… from Dean. Roman couldn't stop his smile as he opened his phone and saw Dean, standing there in a pair of briefs, cupping his obvious arousal with the caption, _“I went shopping.”_

“Babe?” Finn called out to him.

“I am… I'm here.” Roman said back, clearing his throat. “Actually Finn, I can't see you tonight. I have um, plans.”

“Okay?” Finn was suspicious, Roman would never just... blow him of. Finn didn't brag often but, sex with him was amazing, there's no debating. It's why Roman kept coming back. So whatever Roman had to do, must be pretty damn important to blow off a night with his dick, and Finn's ass. “How about tomorrow then? Friday night, just me and you? We can screw all weekend if you like?”

“Friday?” Roman was so entranced by Dean’s picture he barely understood what Finn was saying, “Uh, Friday isn't good either, look Finn I'll text you when I'm free and we'll go out okay? I actually have so much work to do. I'll call you later okay?” Roman hung up before he could answer. He looked at his computer, he had about a page left to edit… Roman smiled and saved all his work then texted Dean back.

**Roman: I know we said Friday but I can't wait, can I see you now?**

Dean texted him back not five minutes later...

**Dean: Not tonight, I gotta study.. finals. But, tomorrow, I'm all yours. Every, single, inch of me. xoxo.**

Finn got off the weird phone call with Roman, then sighed before climbing back in bed. As soon as he laid down, short red hair fell on his chest, and a warm body wrapped itself around him.

“Who was that?” Sami Zayn, Finn’s boyfriend asked softly.

“No one babe,” Finn lied, “No one.”

* * *

 

**_Friday night._ **

Dean didn't know why he was nervous. He was just with Roman on Wednesday, in his bed for more than two hours, laughing, having great sex and just enjoying his company. This was no different, they would be laughing, and enjoying each other's company until it was time to go home, and have great sex in Roman's bed. All of this was just simply facts, something he knew was going to happen, yet… it still made him nervous.

He was going out on a date with a guy he was already in love with. Maybe that's the reason why his anxiety was on million… or it could be because he didn’t want to mess this up. Finn was already trying to steal Roman away again, and Dean didn't want that to happen. He couldn't let that happen. He knocked on Roman's door, and waited, trying to keep his thoughts and emotions at bay. Roman opened it not a minute later and gave Dean a quick kiss and told him to come in.

Seth was there, laying in his usual, tee shirt and underwear, giving Dean his usual scowl. Dean tried to ignore him on most days, but tonight his scowl seemed so much more… friendlier. Dean didn't know why but he seemed like he hated him less, or maybe he just wished he did.  “So.. where are you boys going?” Seth asked, while watching Dean intensely.

“Um, we’re going to eat, and then from there… we'll see where the night takes us. Right, Dean?” Roman asked him and of course Dean blushed and nodded then looked down. “You promised me that you would go to Hunter’s tonight or Marek’s right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Seth huffed in reply, “You want me out so you and your closeted asshole boy toy can play how deep does the dick feel, I got it.”

Roman gave Seth a look, one that spoke of anger at Seth’s unnecessary comments. Dean on the other hand, looked like he was itching to say something, but trying to keep things civilized.

“Tell me, Dean, how do you still not know that you're a homo if all you do, and all you like is to take dick?” Seth chuckled to himself.

“Seth shut the hell up!” Roman warned him.

“You tell me, Seth.” Dean's calm tone took Seth and Roman off guard, “How long did it take you to come out? Better yet, how long did it take you to convince yourself that who everyone wants you to be is not who you are?”

“Well…” Seth stumbled over his words, “I… umm..”

“I haven’t been at this long, and I know you hate me for hurting Roman. I hate me for hurting him too. More than you know. Right now, I'm unlearning 20 years of a life that is all I knew and I'm bound to make mistakes. I'm trying to figure a lot out and yeah that means taking Roman’s dick which is great by the way. So I'm sorry, if I'm not going your pace, but I won't apologize for trying.”

Roman grabbed his keys, and smiled at Dean who was wafting off so much confidence right now. He took his hand into his own and they left together, leaving Seth feeling guilty, with his mouth wide open.

“That was amazing, and hot.” Roman told him as they walked through the dark park hand in hand.  “I love how confident you were, reminds me of that rich, red headed, trump supporting asshole who told me to shut up when I fucked him.”

“Do you miss that guy I was?’ Dean asked, with a smile on his face, “Cause I'm pretty sure, I am still rich, red headed and a republican, so whenever you need someone to tell you to shut up, you can always call me.” He teased Roman and of course, Roman pinched his sides making him laugh. They kissed gently, and Roman put his hand in Dean’s back pocket to squeeze his ass. Dean gasped, and bit down on his lip, smirking back at him.

“Come on pretty boy, let's get a cab.” Roman grabbed both of Dean’s hands in his own, making his favorite red head smile as they walked off campus together.

~

An hour later, they were laughing in a pizza shop off campus together. Roman had gotten pineapples on his pizza, and Dean never had it before so he let him taste it only for some pineapples to spill on Dean’s shirt. The redhead was upset at first until Roman took sauce from Dean’s pizza and put it on his own shirt, just to make him smile. They were both laughing so hard, and having fun just talking that they didn't notice an hour had passed.

Dean never had this much fun with anyone, he never had this much fun period. Roman made him smile, he kept him smiling, all night, and it not once felt awkward, like it used to with Faye when her and Dean ran out of things to talk about. Unlike her, Roman and Dean's conversations were endless, they could make each other laugh about anything, and he was so sweet, so caring, he listened to Dean, even when Dean was spitting out his republican bullshit.

God, he loved him.

“Hey, oh my god, it's almost 11. We've been talking for almost an hour and a half,” Roman smiled at Dean, and those blue eyes shined under the fluorescent lights of the pizzeria. He was so beautiful. Roman had such a queasy, fluttery feeling just looking at him. “How about we leave, and go dancing. I wanna dance. Do you wanna dance with me?” He asked it so soft, and seductively, Dean would be a fool to say no. He nodded, without words and soon they both got up, and held hands down the street together.

The lights in the city were bright. Dean was anxious holding Roman’s hand in such a public setting but, like before when they went to the diner, no one around seemed to care. Actually, everyone around seemed to be either checking Dean out, or Roman or both. It was like a whole new world, and some of the guys were actually pretty cute…  not as cute as Roman but it was strange, that Dean could even admit that even it was to himself.

They walked into a bar called “The Glow Room” and the first thing Dean noticed was how many men were there. It sunk in that Roman had taken him to a gay bar. It didn't make Dean as uncomfortable as it would've before he met Roman. He held his hand to the bar, where Roman of course was noticed immediately, and given two on the house shots of tequila. He handed one to Dean then they drank it fast before ordering 4 more.

After being crammed up by the bar for a while, a group of guys crowded around Roman, blocking Dean’s view of him completely. He saw Roman trying to be polite, by smiling and talking to them, but Dean felt a little… left out.  He sighed, when a guy deliberately pushed him even farther away from Roman’s view. Dean took his last shot of tequila, which burned against his tongue as it made it down his throat. He sighed, realizing that Roman probably wanted nothing more to do with him now he was around these much hotter men.

He began to walk away,  but once he did, he felt strong hands hold him at the waist. He didn’t need to turn around to realize who it was. He got pulled to the dance floor, and his ass stayed, flush against his front as their hips began to sway. Suddenly, it seemed like the music got louder, and the faces and people drowned out as Roman danced with him. There were a sea of guys all around, watching, staring in anger, in lust… in jealousy.

But he only had eyes for Dean.

He turned Dean around, and not even the strobe lights or the noise was louder than the way those blue eyes made him feel. Roman was so hooked, line, sinker. For a boy, who in all intensive purpose wasn't someone he'd original want or fall for. His hands were around Roman’s neck, and there was a smile on his face as Roman grabbed his ass in front of everyone watching. The men at the bar let out a collective sigh, but Roman couldn't stop smiling. He was happy… and more importantly, he was falling, for the first time since he broke up with Finn, he was falling for someone.

And it scared him... a lot.

“I told you, we would dance,” Roman said to Dean over the very loud music. “I'm sorry about the guys I-”

“Don't worry about them,” Dean said back with a soft shake of his inebriated head, “The only thing I want right now is for you, to take me back to yours, I want you, all night Roman… can I have you?”

Roman simply nodded, and as quickly as they came, they left, back to the dorms.

* * *

 

They were sharing alcoholic fueled kisses in the cab, and wobbly kisses when they were walking back to Roman's room. Hank, the security guard, smiled at them, when he buzzed them in and Dean laughed against Roman’s lips when he stumbled a bit as they giggled their way to the dorm. Roman kept his body close to his own, feeling underneath Dean's shirt to touch warm pale skin. He moaned in his mouth, reveling in the way Roman touched him.

Roman pushed him up against the wall before the turned the corner, and their tongues found their way into each other’s mouths. He felt Roman grab at his thighs, picking Dean up and securing those legs around him, kissing him towards his room.

They were so busy making out, laughing and trying to tear each other's clothes off neither of them saw Finn waiting by Roman’s door. He saw them though, and the moment he did, Finn’s heart dropped. He stood up, placing his leather jacket back on and clapped, loudly, with so much force, Roman and Dean stopped what they were doing, and finally noticed him.

“Finn…” Roman said breathlessly, “What are you doing here?”

“Watching a horror movie, obviously.” Finn said back sarcastically, “What the fuck are you doing back with this FUCKING JERK ROMAN?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is sort of an happy v day to my readers. I had them go on a cute date and it looks like roman might be falling for dean but the biggest question is, will he allow himself to? 
> 
> Also Finn wyd, sis? - Melle


	12. I Don't Want to Share You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finn and dean finally face off.

Finn’s fists hurt like hell.

Dean sat on Roman's bed, waiting for Roman to come back from the common room with ice for his very swollen, very black, eye. His foot tapped against the floorboards, anxiously, and when the door opened again, there Roman was, an empathic, yet disappointed smile on his face as he sat by Dean and began to place the ice under his eye. Dean winced at the cool substance hitting his skin, but silently thanked Roman for being nice enough to get him some ice, despite everything that just went down. 

Dean had no idea Finn showing up tonight would lead to them getting into a fist fight over Roman but… there he was, with a black eye and full of regret… that  _ he _ actually started the whole thing. 

_ “What the fuck are you doing back with this FUCKING JERK ROMAN?” Finn screamed at Roman, who had let go of Dean slowly to look at his ex, who seemed… well beyond pissed off to see Roman back in the arms of a guy he swore off a couple of months ago. _

_ “What I do with Dean in my own time is none of your fucking business Finn, you and I are not back together, and you know that!” Roman defended himself. _

_ “How can we ever try to get back together when you’re with this… trash.” Finn spat as his eyes averted from Roman to Dean. _

_ “I would tread fucking lightly, if I were you, dick face.” Dean warned Finn, in a hard, serious tone. _

_ “Or what?” Finn challenged him, laughing when Dean didn’t respond at first. “That’s what I thought Ginge, now keep your fucking mouth shut, the adults are talking, kay?” _

_ “Roman I swear to god,” Dean whispered to him, his fists balling up slowly. _

_ “Relax, Dean, he’s only trying to get under your skin.” Roman held onto Dean’s hand, trying to soothe out his anger, but as Finn watched their disgusting little display, it only proceeded to make the irishmen even angrier. _

_ “I thought I was enough for you, Rome,” Finn's tone lowered just a bit, to get Roman’s attention off of Dean and back onto him, which worked because he had those brown eyes on his again, exactly what Finn wanted, “If we were seeing each other again, and having the best sex of our lives again, why are you still seeing him? What's he got that I don't?” Finn was seriously asking, “Abs? I have those. Intelligence? I'm way smarter than this meat head, looks? I have that too. Why him, Roman? Why?” _

_ “How about a genuine respect for him?” Dean injected before Roman got a chance to answer. He let go of Roman to get in Finn’s face, much to Roman's displeasure. “Respect enough to not cheat on him multiple times. How's that?” _

_ “No,” Finn laughed right in Dean’s face, both men head to head, nose to nose as they stared at each other. “Your idea of respect is just demeaning your partner, right? Making him out to be some weird gay stalker because you're a fucking DICK who can't come to grips with your homosexuality.”  _

_ “Guys, stop it!” Roman came over to get in between them, but before he could, Dean cocked back a fist and punched Finn... right in the jaw. “DEAN!” Roman screamed at him, going over to Finn who had fallen on his ass, just to make sure he was okay.  _

_ Finn pushed Roman back before he could help him up then he lunged at Dean, spearing him to the ground before he threw a series of punches that connected with Dean’s face.  _

_ “FUCK! STOP THIS BOTH OF YOU!” Roman was shouting while they fought, he watched them punch each other, and pull at each other like it was middle school. Roman rolled his eyes, and pulled Finn off of Dean, then made sure both of them were far apart as he stood in the middle.  _

_ “You wanna know why I choose Dean, Finn? You honestly want to know?” _

_ “Sure,” Finn said back, spitting out blood, “Enlighten me.” _

_ “How about, because he treats me like I matter? I spent six years with you, loving you, trying to be your everything, we even lived together, and what did you do in return? You threw away six years of us for something quick with one of my best friends…” _

_ “Roman wait…” Finn pleaded. _

_ “No! Finn. I had enough. I got back with you because I honestly didn't think that I deserved better. But you know what? I do. I deserve to be happy. Truly, happy and right now, I really don’t want to hurt you. Finn, but, you don't make me happy.”  _

_ Roman saw his blue eyes fill with tears as he confessed the truth to Finn. It was the first time in six years that the shoe was on the other foot, instead of Roman, in tears trying to figure out why Finn chose to hurt him, it was Finn’s blue eyes soaked and red, wondering what he did to really lose Roman... the first time ever… that Roman made Finn cry. He heard him gasp slightly, and nod before shaking his head and walking fast… _

_ Right out of the building. _

_ ~ _

“I'm so sorry,” Dean said fast, looking at Roman who was picking at his bed sheets. “I didn’t mean to start with Finn,” Roman gave Dean a knowing look, which made Dean smile just a little bit, “Okay, I kinda did, but it wasn't all me. He goaded me. He does that. He gets... under your skin.” 

“Why do you think I was with him for so long?” Roman smiled, placing the ice over Dean’s eye more comfortably, “He is a lot of things, but I can definitely say, that the one thing he'll never be again, is someone I can trust, or love.” Roman placed the ice pack down on the bed, and sighed, before giving Dean a look over. “It doesn't look  _ that _ bad, actually you look kind of hot.” his lips tugged gently between his teeth, and Dean found the softest of smiles in return. 

“I don't mind a few battle scars when it comes to you, because I know, you're so worth it.” Dean blushed, his cheeks heating up as he felt Roman's brown eyes on him. He knew he told Jack that he was trying to play it cool and casual, but there were moments, like this where he could just look into those sultry, chocolate seas and get lost in them. He'd watch Roman smile, and it would get him through the day, his laugh was the only thing he wanted to hear.

Dean was crazy for him, and it was getting harder and harder to hide it.

“You say the sweetest things and some of the dumbest things.” Roman was the one blushing now, those blue eyes on him were making him feel in a certain way Roman has felt in years, completely bare, exposed, like everything, his flaws, his perfections, even his perception of love was stripped down to how he felt about Dean. He watched Dean come over to his lap, and slowly he sat down on top of Roman, his fingers were gently picking at the baby hairs at the back of Roman’s neck, and he smiled, one where he showed both dimples, right before he kissed him, slowly. 

Roman held him close,  _ so close _ to his body, and heart as their tongues effortlessly glided against each other’s. He would usually take this opportunity to grab Dean's ass, but something in Roman held him back. He wanted to wait, he wanted to feel more than that palpable sexual pleasure. He wanted intimacy. His lips open and closed, his breath transitioned from even to not, their bodies collided, and his hands slowly felt over that gorgeous pale skin, lifting up Dean’s shirt over his head. Dean did the same, Roman’s buttons becoming undone while lips danced, and desire took over thoughts. 

“I don't wanna share you,” Dean whispered, pulling away to breathe, but not getting a chance to since Roman was already sucking at his neck. He knew they weren’t officially back together, and Roman most likely would tell Dean that it wasn't his choice to make, but Dean had to try. He wanted Roman, all to himself, and even though that was selfish, deep down it's all Dean could think about. He had to tell him how he felt, even if he didn’t like the response.

Roman stopped all movement, and looked straight into worried blue eyes. He cupped the side of his face in his hands then smiled at him, “You're in luck pretty boy, because I think… I only want to be yours.” 

The answer shocked Dean, he thought he was going to say no, and have Dean heartbroken all over again, but he threw him yet another curve ball. Dean couldn't stop smiling, and when they kissed this time, they kissed passionately, their lips telling the story their hearts and minds couldn't verbally confess,  _ love _ . The one thing they were both feeling yet too scared to admit, right now anyway.

Roman laid him down against his pillows, and they both smiled at each other, light giggles passing through their lips as blue and brown eyes entranced, and held a gaze so palpable, enticing… theirs. 

“I'll try not to fuck it up again.” Dean whispered as he looked up into boyfriend's beautiful eyes.

“Me too,” Roman agreed, and with one more kiss, Dean was his yet again… and this time, Roman wasn’t planning on letting him go.

* * *

Dean got home two days later after spending the entire weekend with Roman. The under of his eye was still black, and still hurt just a little, but he truly didn’t care. He was on air, so happy, physically, emotionally and all because of Roman. He got back into the frat, thinking he was going to just go upstairs and catch up on homework then pass out, but there was a meeting going on when he walked in… a meeting, without him. He came over, and was greeted by Jack, who he stood next to with a smile on his face. However, his other friend, Cody, wasn't smiling at all. In fact, he was glaring at Dean, like Dean had wronged him or something. 

“Now that  _ everyone  _ is here,” Marty Scurll, the leader of the frat looked at Dean when he said everyone, “Brothers, we can now commence our monthly meeting. First things first. Mr. Richard Ambrose, a high standing member of our school board, and Cappi Si grand alum has graciously donated funding for our  _ conversatives in compliance _ gala.” Dean rolled his eyes, of course his dad threw money around, all for some stupid party where old republicans talk about old politics, and they get drunk and inappropriate with their women. Dean found himself smiling at his own thoughts,  _ “I kind of sound like Roman,”  _ he laughed to himself.

“Secondly, brothers do not forget that since this is my last year as chair, we will be appointing a new one soon, so if you are planning on getting a bid in, I suggest you do so before the end of the week.” Marty finished up his speech then everyone scattered around the house. Jack followed Dean, who walked pass Cody, only to receive yet another death glare from him. 

“What's up with Cody?” Dean asked Jack as they headed upstairs together. 

“Huh?” Jack said back confused.

“He keeps looking at me like I stole something from him or something,” Dean followed Jack into his room, and they both sat on his bed together. “Did I do something to him or?”

“Nah, you know how Cody is, he’s probably just upset you haven’t been confiding in him the way you do me nowadays.”

“What am I supposed to say?” Dean lowered his tone, “Oh hey, Cody just letting you know I have a boyfriend and I might be gay?” 

Jack laughed at Dean, “Uh, yeah, that’s a start. I mean we all grew up together,  Dean. I figured out that something was going on with you, easily, and maybe Cody has too.  I love ya man, but you’re not very good at hiding things and maybe Cody is just waiting to hear it from you himself?”  

Dean pouted, again Jack was right.  He felt so much relief when he told Jack the truth about Roman, and Dean’s been wanting to tell Cody too but he was a bit more conservative than Jack and Dean combined. He didn’t want to lose Cody as a friend all because of something he couldn’t help even if he wanted too. He definitely wanted Cody to know the truth, but Dean didn’t know if now was the right time to tell him.

“I’ll think about it,” Dean said finally, burying his head in his pillow. “Right now, I just wanna study then sleep.”

“Alright big guy, I’ll go.” Jack got up, and began walking to the door, but before he left, he stopped, and then turned around, with his mouth wide open. “Wait, did you say,  _ boyfriend?" _

Dean looked up from his pillow and nodded, with a very happy smile. “He’s all mine again Jack, Roman gave me another chance.” 

Without warning, and almost like a giddy teenaged girl, Jack ran back over to the bed, and gave Dean a big hug. Dean laughed at how happy his friend was for him. He pulled away, and held Dean’s face in his hands, smiling at his best friend, 

“Okay, tell me everything and start… with how you got that black eye.”

* * *

Later on in the week, Dean’s political science class just ended and at the same time he got a text from Roman to meet him at Friedman hall theater, Dean smiled, and texted him back that he couldn’t wait to see him. As he was texting, Cody Rhodes, came over, and stood there, as Dean typed away, not realizing who was behind him.

“Who can’t you wait to see?” Cody rudely asked, alerting Dean of his presence. 

Dean immediately shut his phone off, then put it away, before he began to gather his books. “Oh that?” He shook his head, “That was a friend I'm... tutoring.”  _ Fuck, _ that’s all he could think of? A friend he was tutoring? 

Great job, Dean.

“You can’t wait… to tutor someone?” Cody asked, suspiciously.

“Uh yeah,” Dean nodded, hoping Cody bought it. 

“Huh,” Cody turned his mouth upwards and nodded, “Well glad you’re still so focused on your studies, Dean. So much so that you have time to actually tutor someone. When you came home on Monday after being out all weekend with a black eye, I admit I was so worried that I almost called your dad, but I’m impressed, Mr. Ambrose would be so proud.” 

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at Cody but he didn’t want to be mean to his oldest friend. Cody and his dad were always close. Ever since Dean started hanging out with Cody at 15, his father took a liking to Cody way more than he’s ever taken with Dean. It’s why Dean and Jack grew closer, Cody was  _ always _ with his dad, doing the father and son things that Dean used to do with him. He was more like a brother in a sense, than a friend. 

An older much more annoying, brother.

“Uh, yeah, um, look, Cody I gotta go… you know to… tutor so... I’ll see you around?” Dean said with a forced smile.

“Sure, anytime,” Cody said back, waving at his friend.

“Alright, uh, bye codes,” He began to walk away, quickly with all of things, but when Dean turned back, he saw Cody still standing there… just staring at him. Dean squinted his eyes at Cody then left, wondering what the hell just happened back there.

* * *

“So... you're back with the ginger,” Seth huffed, not even trying to hide his disgust as he walked arm in arm with Roman around campus. “I can't believe it Roman. You love doing things that make no goddamn sense.”

“I tried to stay away okay, I did.” Roman sighed helplessly, “But I just couldn't, after that day in the park, I couldn't stop myself from going back, for a long time I thought that it  _ had _ to be the sex, because he's great in bed, but it's more than that now, Seth… I… think I'm…”

“Roman?” before Roman got a chance to finish his sentence, he heard someone call his name. Roman and Seth both turned around and saw a  _ different _ redhead coming their way. 

Sami Zayn.

Roman’s heart beat fast with each step Sami took towards him. He hasn't seen Sami in years. The last time being the night he caught him getting fucked in Roman and Finn's bed… by the man he thought loved him more than anything. Roman remembered it so vividly, it still haunted him to see Finn moaning Sami's name, their bodies together… it still fucking hurt like a knife being repeatedly stabbed in his back.  _ Fuck _ . Even after a year Roman still felt that pain.

Maybe he'd never get over this.

Maybe he'd never get over Finn Balor.

“Roman! That is you, hey.” Sami said as he came over to him and Seth, who were holding onto each other like they were a couple. “Hi, um, I didn’t want to intrude, hopefully I didn't, I just I was walking across the quad and I saw you and I couldn't help myself. I... how are you?”

“Sami..” Roman was breathless, he could barely get out his name, “I can't…” he whispered, sadly.

“Roman, I know. I get it. I hurt you more than I've ever hurt anyone and everyday I regret it. But please, give me a chance, after two years to explain?” 

There were tears in Roman's eyes as he looked back at Sami. Everything started flooding back, memories of all the times they had as best friends, all the moments together, and the time he introduced Sami to Finn. The time he told Sami he loved Finn and the last time when Sami broke his heart. He shook his head so Sami couldn't see him cry, then let go of Seth and began to walk away. 

“He’ll never forgive me, will he?” Sami sobbed as he asked Seth, who was watching his broken friend walk away. 

“Let me put it this way, if I were him, I would've ended you two years ago, Zayn.” Seth began to walk after Roman but Sami's voice carried, making him stop.

“Seth wait please,” Sami came over to Seth and handed him a piece of ripped paper with his phone number on it. “I just wanna talk to him. Please. Give him that, and tell him when he's ready, he can call me.”  Sami walked off after that, and Seth sighed, looking down at the number. He should've just thrown it away, let it be and give Roman some peace of mind, but Seth also knew that none of this, the push and pull with Finn, or Dean would be over until Roman sat down and talked to Sami. 

So Seth put the number in his jean pocket and saved it for when he knew… Roman would be ready.

* * *

At around 8pm, Dean was waiting outside Friedman hall theater for about 20 minutes or so, even though it felt like more than an hour.  Roman said to be there exactly at 8pm so Dean came a bit early and waited for him. There was a breeze in the air, and Dean only brought his jean jacket, so he was a little cold but Roman told him that it would be worth it. 

He had no idea how they were going to get into Friedman theater when it closed by 5pm everyday but he wasn’t going to think about all the semantics now, not when he had a hot date with a cute boy after a long day. He stood around, waiting about 10 more minutes before he pulled out his phone to text Roman. He started to text him to ask him where he was, but before he could get out a word, the doors to the theater opened, and there Roman stood, with a mischievous smile on his face. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” 

Dean came over to Roman and gave him a quick kiss, and soon, the doors were closed and locked behind him. Dean smirked inquisitively at him, as Roman licked his lips, and brought Dean in close by his waist. “So mister,” Dean said touching Roman’s collarbone, gently, “Tell me, what am I doing here?”

“Well, I remember that beautiful conversation we had post coital, before we broke up and you said you always wanted to go to the early matinees where they play old movies and there's not a big crowd and you can just enjoy yourself. So, my professor owed me a favor, which I cashed in, tonight, pretty boy we will be watching your favorite movie,  _ Casablanca _ , on a big screen with popcorn, candies and a whole lot of kissing in between.”

Roman took the remote in his hand and the projector began to play the opening credits of the movie. Dean couldn't stop smiling as he looked down at the entrance and saw a table set up of popcorn, treats and drinks. Roman took his hand and brought him down to grab a snack, then they both sat in the middle of the audience together, while the movie began. 

“I love this,” Dean said, his blue eyes shining off the light from the projector. “Thank you baby,” it was the first time Dean used a cute name for him instead of just Roman. It made the samoan boy smile. He leaned over and gave Dean a soft, inviting kiss, and a few seconds later, the movie was forgotten. 

Dean was pulled in his lap, and popcorn spilled everywhere. They laughed between kisses, their noses nuzzling as they pulled away to breathe. “Someone's gonna have to clean that up,” Dean whispered against Roman’s sweet lips, with a smile.

“ _Here's looking at_ _you, kid.”_  Roman quoted the movie, and Dean laughed, then punched him lightly on the chest, before Roman kissed him again. His jean jacket was slipped off his shoulders, and his ass was grabbed, so possessively by the boy he loved the most. “Ever got fucked in a theater before?” Roman asked, as he tossed Dean's shirt above his head.

“Mm no, but there's a first time for everything.” Dean said back before his tongue found Roman’s again.

His favorite movie was playing behind him, but the best thing in Dean’s life was currently entering him, in an empty theater, on a lonely Friday night.  Dean moaned, and rode him slow, Roman found himself smiling, because he realized he couldn't keep fighting certain feelings anymore. He was falling in love for the first time in six years and it was starting to scare him less and less everyday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman is falling hard!  
> What does Sami want? Do you guys think he knows about hoe!finn's antics?  
> What's up with stepford!Cody 
> 
> Leave me a comment, I survive on compliments and cheese fries -Melle


	13. That Deep Southern Discipline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean's daddy is in town and roman is met with the past in two different ways.

What was better than being with him?

Dean tried to figure that out as Roman gave him a soft kiss, then let the red head lay on his chest. It was Sunday, and Dean purposely finished his assignments early so he could spend the weekend with Roman. His white curtains did nothing to hide the light peeking through it, but Roman's body shaded most of it. Dean felt him push his hood from his sweater back a bit so he could play with a few strands of his hair. Those blue eyes fell on brown, and Roman smiled down at him, giving him another soft kiss, before his boyfriend’s head laid firmly on his chest again.

Dean heard a lot about when people fall in love, and how they act around their partners. When he was with Faye, he never felt it. That need, the desire to be around someone all the time. But now, with Roman, he found himself, immersed in him, completely. They wore each other’s clothes, and laughed about the stupidest stuff, Roman let Dean take tons of pictures of him, and Dean spent hours helping him adapt his final screenplay for school. For the first time in Dean’s life he was experiencing something inherently good, that wasn't forced on him or ingrained in him.

He was experiencing real, adult love and he loved this crazy feeling.

“Wait!” Dean whispered, looking up at him, “Say it one more time.” 

“Again?” Roman laughed lightly.  “You already heard me say it a thousand times.” 

“Yes, please baby? I wanna hear it.”

_“Okay.. Ou manatu te alofa ia te oe._ ” Roman spoke in his native language, and it made Dean blush. Of course he had no idea what he was saying, but Dean most likely wouldn't remember anyway. _Thank god he didn't speak samoan,_ Roman thought to himself.

“That’s so hot,” Dean smiled up at him, “What does it mean?” 

“It's just… a simple call to prayer in samoan.” Roman told him a small white lie, while he touched his cleanly shaved face, and then kissed him again, this time softer than before. 

In the past couple months since they've met, Roman went from swearing off love completely, to finding himself falling for someone again. He didn’t even think it was possible, after all the pain he went through, with Finn and the relationship before that one which Roman didn't discuss, he never thought he’d might feel this kind of love… towards another man ever again but there he was, possibly in love, with a very cute boy. 

Yet, Roman couldn’t find the words to tell him.

At least, not in English anyway. 

“Mm, I wish I could stay here and kiss you all damn day,” Dean whispered against his lips, right before his ass was grabbed through his sweats, making him blush, furiously.

“I wish you could too, but I know you have your republicans gala thingy tonight which your father is going to be attending which means no me, and no seeing you until next week,” Roman pouted, “Unless, I’m allowed to come as your plus one?” Roman furrowed his brows suggestively and Dean laughed, touching his boyfriend’s face gently, caressing his strong jaw.

“I want you there, you know that. I just… I'm not ready to tell him yet.” Dean looked down at that, and sighed, “I know I should be more assertive about this but I…”

“Dean,” Roman’s voice calmed his nerves, caressing him gently, “There's no rush to tell anyone, anything. You deserve to come out on your own terms okay?” Dean’s blues looked back at him, so calmly. He nodded, then they kissed again, this time with much more intensity than the other kisses. Roman felt at home in his mouth, their tongues fit so well, his lips were so much softer after Roman gave him his special chapstick, and his skin… he smelled so good. Almost like warm vanilla, so pure, Roman’s favorite thing was pressing his nose against his neck, before kissing him, making Dean giggle before he was marked up with hickies. 

“I think we have time for a quickie before I go,” Dean mumbled in between kisses.

“Mm, yeah?” Roman rolled them over, opening Dean's legs so he could easily fit between them. Dean smiled wide as he felt Roman pulling down his sweats, with a mischievous smile on his face. They were lost in their kisses, and Dean’s hands on Roman's ass that Roman didn't even feel his phone buzz in his back pocket at first. He kept it on vibrate, so that nothing would interrupt time with Dean but, this time, it kept buzzing, over and over. Roman was keen to ignore it for the way his dick felt snug against Dean's but his boyfriend had other ideas. He took it out of his back pocket, and laughed, pulling away from Roman’s lips to answer it.

“Roman's phone, how may I help you?” Dean said as Roman laughed while placing kisses down his neck.

“Roman?” the voice said Roman’s name, whoever it was sounded mousy and quiet, “Roman it's me Sami. Look I know you hate me for what I did to you, and I wouldn't of called but I got your number from Seth and please, I really need to talk to you. Today.”

Dean’s face changed from happy to confused so Roman stopped kissing him, “Who is that?” 

“Someone named Sami? He said he really wants to talk to you.” Dean handed Roman the phone, but Roman retreated away from it.

“No, hang up.” he told Dean sternly. 

“Roman, I can hear you,” Sami said loudly. “Please, talk to me.” 

Dean had no idea what to do. He could just hang up, that's what Roman said to do, but the look on Roman's face was more unsure than anything. Dean forgot who the Sami guy was, but he was sure it had something to do with Finn. Even after telling Finn off, Roman still was affected by him. Dean sighed, then tossed the phone on the bed and got up, beginning to put his sweats back on.

“D?” Roman asked, “What's wrong? Where are you going?”

“To the frat.” Dean said without looking at him, “I have tons of stuff to do anyway before my dad gets here and Cody is watching my every move like a hawk so I better get going.” 

“Um, okay I guess you'll text me later right? I mean when you can get away from daddy.” Roman laughed.

“Uh, sure.” Dean was hardly replying.

“Dean babe…” Roman came up behind him and wrapped him in his arms, despite Sami still being on the phone. “What's going on?”

“I'm not sure you wanna know, Roman.” Dean said, pulling away from him. “Because hearing what I have to say means examining how you still obviously feel about Finn fucking Balor.”

“Finn?” Roman laughed humorlessly, “We can't still be on Finn. I'm  _ over _ him!” 

“Are you?” Dean asked with his arms crossed in front of him, “I know that guy on the phone has something to do with Finn. Yet you can't even tell me about it or even speak to him. Why? Because you haven't moved on. I gotta be kidding myself to think that we can have anything when you're still stuck on Finn Balor.  Probably always will be.” Dean handed Roman his shirt he was wearing then popped on his shoes and made a quick exit before Roman could reply. Roman wanted to run after him but, a part of him knew that Dean could be right. If he wasn’t still worried about Finn, then why couldn't he just… talk to Sami?

Roman plopped down on his bed, and picked up his phone. He knew Sami was still on the line so he blew out a breath, then placed it to his ear. “Sami?” Roman asked, his voice light, as he held it together.

“Hey Roman, I'm sorry if I interrupted something… I just want to talk to you and I know you said you can't but I need you to know a few things and I won't stop until we finally get a chance to talk.” 

_ Fucking Seth! _ Roman grumbled to himself.  “Fine,” Roman exhaled heavily then placed his hand on his head. “Meet me for lunch today, you remember Grounds coffee house right?” 

“Ha, yeah, I remember. Alright I'll see you at 12.”

“Yeah, okay, bye Sami.” Roman said back, he couldn't believe that he was actually doing this. He didn't want to hear the reasons why Sami fucked his ex, or hear his side of the story at all but, he figured he owed it not only to Dean, but to himself. He needed to let Finn and the past go, and unfortunately this was the only way he knew how.

* * *

 

As soon as Dean got home, he saw Cody sitting in the living room with a notebook. Dean tried his best to actively avoid Cody these past couple of weeks but he had been on his case a hell of a lot. He had no idea whether it was because Cody was checking up on him out of typical concern or for his father.  Either way, Dean didn't care about what Cody reported back to his dad, he truly had no idea what was happening between Dean and his boyfriend so that's all that mattered.

Dean made his way towards the stairs, but before he even got to the first step, he heard Cody clear his throat, and get up from the couch to walk over to him. “3 and a half days, 200 minutes, and 42 seconds.” Cody repeated as he read from his notebook.

“What?” Dean asked back, crossing his arms as he stood face to face with Cody.

“That’s how long you've been gone for, Deano. 3 days away from the frat, doing… what exactly?” Cody wondered as he began to circle around the red headed boy. “It couldn't possibly be tutoring, no one can tutor day in and night out. It couldn't be studying because I camped out the study center for 3 days and you didn’t show up.”

“Cody, back off. I mean it.” Dean warned him. The one thing he didn't need today was Cody Rhodes in his fucking business. He was still reeling from the small fight with Roman, and if Cody didn’t chill out Dean would probably say something he would regret later.

“Look Dean, I'm doing this because I care about you, I don't want you going off the wrong path, with the wrong people. You have a bright future ahead of you and all of that could be ruined if you use the sin of the flesh. We both know that's what you were doing, right? Some pretty girl, who is probably going to ruin you. Think about this, Dean. Think about what your father is going to say tonight at the gala. Think about your choices.  _ For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot,  _ Dean. Romans 8:7.” 

Cody patted Dean on the shoulder then squeezed, and walked towards the kitchen. Dean rolled his eyes as he watched Cody leave. He really just quoted scripture to him about having premarital sex in the middle of the fucking day. His feet dragged as he made it up the stairs, trying to get Cody, his father and the fight he had with Roman off of his mind. He plopped down on his bed and laid down, looking up at the ceiling. Dean was so anxious about his father coming to the gala tonight. Even more so now that he knew he Cody was feeding him information. 

His sad blue eyes closed slightly, ready to get a nap in when he phone blared with messages. One from Jack, two from Roman and an unexpected one from his father.

**Jack: Hey dude I picked up our suits, and I think I saw your boy toy too. Does he have a sleeve tat?**

**Roman: Hey, after the gala I wanna talk about a few things, if you get a free moment, come to newman.**

**Dad: Son, I can't wait to see you later on tonight. Your friend has been telling me some very interesting things about how you're behaving. Talk more when I arrive.**

Dean read them all, but he didn't have the strength to text back. He spent the entire weekend having fun with his boyfriend with very little sleep in between. So as soon as he closed his eyes, sleep overtook his anxiety, thoughts and worries about everything about to happen  later on today.

* * *

 

Roman's fingertips stained the side of the coffee cup as he waited for Sami to show up. His thoughts ran wild, memories of a broken friendships played in his head like a movie. Sami Zayn was one of his best friends one point in time. They met in senior year of college and it was almost like they had an instant connection. Sami and Roman were like a couple without ever being one, they knew each other well, and Roman thought nothing could ever ruin what they had… until he introduced him to Finn.  

They were three peas in a pod for a long time, years on end they had a comfortable friendship, they travelled together with Finn, and Seth and Roman was happy. He had no idea that the guy he considered to be his best friend in the world was harbouring feelings for the man he loved, and he had no idea that the man he loved… felt the same way.

He saw a sea of red hair enter the restaurant and Roman knew, Sami was here. They exchanged a glance, then Sami awkwardly walked over to his table and sat down across from Roman. He noticed Roman keeping his eyes on the cup instead of him now, and making sure he didn't look Sami directly in the eye. Sami wanted to hug him or say something that would ease the awkwardness but no words came. He didn't want to talk first and say something to anger Roman or scare him away but Sami didn't want things to stay this quiet either. 

“Hi.” it was simple, something that would force Roman to look at him, “I... I'm sorry I'm late. I was getting dressed and uh…”  _ don't mention finn,  _ Sami said to himself. “Anyway I'm sorry.” 

“Whatever,” Roman shrugged, coughing a bit before adjusting his body to look out the window instead of at Sami. “Look, you said you wanted to talk to me? Right? I didn’t come here for small talk. Say what you need to say then stay out of my life.” Roman didn't look at him once as he spoke, he couldn’t manage to stare in his eyes and pretend like Sami didn’t break his heart too.

“Roman please,” Sami shook his head, “I know you hate me. I deserve it but we were friends once-”

“We were friends?” Roman snorted derivatively then rolled his eyes, “We were friends when you decided to fuck my boyfriend, in my home, in our bed.” his brown eyes finally came upon him, and when they did, Roman could see all the guilt written all over Sami's face. “That probably wasn't even the first time was it?” 

Sami sadly shook his head no.

“I knew it, I fucking knew it.” Roman's fingers curled up into a fist and he took a long breath, “He lied to me, he told me, it was only once with you. But of course it wasn’t, you're the redheaded piece of arm candy who was willing to spread for your legs for a man who loved me.” Roman began to cry, his eyes filling with tears as he laughed humorlessly, “You know it's not even your fault completely. Cause he was the one who went looking, I wasn't enough. I never seem to be enough.” 

“Roman you're enough. You've always been enough. Do you know how jealous I was of your relationship back then?” Sami said looking down, “You two were perfect for each other. You were this hot guy and I was nothing but your loser friend who only got hit on by the ugly guys at the gay bars we went too. So that night, the first time with Finn, you went to go visit your mom and I came over, Finn was cleaning up your apartment and he asked me to dance. I said no at first but he cooked and we drank wine then we did it. Afterwards I felt so damn guilty, I told him I was going to tell you. But he convinced me otherwise, and we fucked again, then a third time, and that's when you caught us. Roman, I love you, you were my best friend I never meant to hurt you he just made me feel… wanted.”

Roman shook his head at all the new information. He realized he wasn't crying because he lost Finn, he was crying because he lost his confidence while with him. Finn took a piece of his heart and as much as he wanted to blame Sami for it all, he knew, his heart would never mend. He felt so stupid, letting Finn back into his life, and into his bed again after hearing Sami's side of things. “I feel so stupid,” Roman said, scoffing slightly, “I believed everything he told me. I let him be my friend, I let him fuck me, I feel so.. dumb.”

“Wait… he… fucked you?” Sami almost lost his voice as he asked. 

“Yeah, we were casually fucking a couple of weeks ago, before I ended it… why?” 

Sami started breathing heavily, taking harsh breaths as he listened to Roman, “We've been seeing each other for a long time. Not directly after you two broke up because he was so hung up on you for the longest, but… about a year later, he asked me out and… I thought we were monogamous… oh my god, he's been lying to me. All those late night calls, and days he went missing were to be with you.” Sami got up abruptly, and walked out without even saying goodbye. 

Roman didn't know why but once Sami was gone… he felt relieved. His past was keeping him from a good relationship with Dean, something healthy and right and after everything he's been through, Roman realized maybe it was time for the good.

* * *

Dean hated tuxedos. 

He hated parties even more but once a month they had these parties in honor of raising money for republican bullshit, so there he was. In a black and white suit, sitting down at the same table with Jack and Summer, who were all googly eyed and Cody who kept one eye on Dean and one on the only black girl in the entire room. Her name was Brandi, she was cute, but as annoying as Cody and she happened to be President Marty's girlfriend. Cody always watched her, it was weird. 

At the other end of the table, sat a seating card for his father, who had yet to show up. Dean rolled his eyes and drank down the expensive champagne while the Marty was on stage saying some mumbo jumbo. He was only half paying attention, his mind was more on Roman, and missing him and his lips. He played teacher all weekend, giving Dean the best blow job of his life at the same time letting him know what he liked and didn’t like on himself. When it was Dean's turn he had Roman moaning so loud,  _ God _ , he missed his moan.

“... and now, a man who needs no introduction, Cappa Si alum, and a man I wish was  _ my own _ father, Richard Ambrose!” 

Dean blinked a couple of times to get his mind back on track as he saw his dad get up on the podium. He smiled and waved to the crowd, before taking out his glasses and a couple of index cards. “If I thought I was going to get that good of an introduction, I would've tried to get my son to do it.” the crowd laughed at Richard's joke, and his eyes averted to Dean, giving him a warm smile, that Dean knew was only for show before he continued his speech. He had to listen to him rant and rave about the bible, and republican values like they somehow went hand in hand. Dean tried his best to listen and focus and once he was done, the entire room erupted into cheers. 

Dean got up to get more champagne, in hopes that he could drown out his father's words but right before he took a sip, his father placed a tight hand on his shoulder. “Son!” Richard said, forcing Dean to turn around. “No hello, father? No its nice to see you?”

“Hello, Father. It's nice to see you.” Dean repeated his words back, with a sarcastic smile on his face. His father laughed, lightly. Then grabbed onto Dean’s wrist like he used to when he was younger. It still hurt, even though Dean was much older now. 

“Walk with me son, we have a lot to discuss.” He pushed him forward, outside towards the back of the hall. Dean trembled a bit, he always hated being alone with his father, and his rage. Once the glass door was shut behind him, his father let Dean go, then tossed him towards the wall. “Cody tells me you're seeing a girl, who's making you stay over weekends? Is that how we raised you? To engage in sins of the flesh before you get married to Faye?”

_ He’s not a girl.  _  Dean wanted to say so badly. Instead, he just shook his head no, and looked down. “I'm sorry Father,” Dean quickly apologized. 

“You're lucky this little… “relationship” hasn't affected your grades, boy, or else I'd take my belt off and whip you right here.” Dean nodded, still unable to look at his father. He controlled everything, even Dean and that power he had would never cease. “You want to have fun in college, I get it. I had fun in my hay day too. But your momma has always been the love of my life, just like Faye is to you. So you let this little relationship run its course, then when you come home, you propose to Faye, like a good little boy, you hear me?” Dean couldn't argue, he knew his father would smack him in his mouth if he did, so he nodded again quietly, and his dad pulled away from him.

“Now,” he fixed Dean’s tie softly then forced his blue eyes on him. “Let's get back to the party shall we?” 

“Mmm. Yes father.” Dean said, his head down as he followed his dad back in. His face changed from cruel parent, to smiling socialite as he greeted Jack and Summer, then went off to mingle. Dean breathed out softly, watching his dad talk to everyone with Cody right by his side.  _ Fuck him.  _ Dean thought.  _ Fuck them both.  _ He waited until they were both distracted to slip out the back door. His dad wanted him to be a good little boy, marry a girl he didn't love and be unhappy for the rest of his life, and a couple of months ago Dean would've let it happen, but he was tired of living by his rules. He was tired of living for someone else.

He ran, all the way to Newman hall, and to the one person in the world who seemed to understand him. Dean knocked on the door hurriedly and once Roman opened it he threw him in his arms and gave him a kiss. 

“Dean?” Roman laughed at how eager he was. He closed the door behind him, and Dean pulled him in, towards the bed. 

“Fuck me.” Dean begged him.

“What?” Roman pulled back, trying to regain some control here. “Dean what's going on?”

“Fuck me, please. I just wanna forget. I wanna forget everything… just fuck me. Please, Roman.” Dean sat down on Roman’s bed, and began to take off his suit jacket and tie. Roman watched him, so confused by what was happening. Earlier, Dean was so upset with him over the Sami and Finn stuff and now, he was removing his shoes, slacks and dress shirt. Roman licked his lips, at his half naked body, but he still didn't move from a standing position. Dean stood up in nothing but his underwear and a red, sad face as he moved closer to Roman. He took his hands and pushed him down on the bed, then slowly he got on top of him. 

“Please, baby, fuck me.” 

He grinded against Roman’s growing erection, making him groan out, that sexually frustrated one he does, whenever he was in the mood to fuck the hell out of Dean. But this time, instead of being thrown down and getting exactly what he wanted, Dean's slender waist was held, to stop him from moving. “You can talk to me without my dick being in you.” Roman caressed his face, thumb sliding down his cheeks to wipe away the tears that started to fall out of Dean's sad blue eyes. Dean shook his head and broke down on top of Roman, crying on his shoulder while Roman held him close to his body.

“It's okay Dean, I'm here for you.” Roman picked him up from the sitting position and laid him down on the bed, their bodies curled up in each other. Roman caressed the strands of red hair on his face and kissed the side of his neck softly. “When you're ready to talk, you can tell me anything you feel comfortable with.” Dean nodded against him, sniffling as Roman held him close. He was planning on telling him everything, but for now, he just wanted to be with him, in his arms, for as long as he could.

* * *

 

In the morning, Roman woke up with Dean all over him. He smiled, and kissed his sleeping lips, waking him, causing a big smile to form on the redhead’s face. He pushed some red hair back, then kissed him again, making Dean moan and laugh against his lips. Dean told him everything after he calmed down last night. He told him about his dad, about what he said and all the fears Dean had for his future. Roman calmed him down, and told him everything was going to be alright. They didn’t know what the future held but Roman knew he wanted him in it. After another serious make out session, Roman asked him if he wanted to go get breakfast off campus. Dean of course nodded and after a quick shower together with minimal funny business, they took the bus back over to Nicole's diner to eat breakfast.

Dean liked his eggs over easy, and Roman liked his scrambled with turkey bacon. It was nice, getting to just be with him and not thinking about anything that had happened last night. He stole a sausage off of Dean’s plate, making Dean laugh at him. Nicole watched them exchange food and have fun together, while she made coffee. They were basically the only two in the diner besides an old couple so when they kissed, Nicole smiled, happy that her best friend found someone who made him happy.

Just then, the bell on the front door jingled as someone came in. Nicole looked up at the customer and smiled, “Hi, welcome, what can I get you?” 

“I'll have uh..” The guy's accent was so deep, a southern Georgia drawl that was hard to miss, “A coffee, no sugar, a hint of milk.” 

Nicole nodded at him, and as she went to make the coffee the man took a look around. He hadn't been there in a long time. Not since that morning after six years ago. It was hard to remember but also hard to forget. In fact.. he didn't think he'd ever forget  _ him _ . He was young, new, and irresistible. He was cute, smart and delectable. He was everything he wanted and more importantly… everything he missed. 

“Roman, stop you got syrup all over me!” The guy heard the familiar name, and when he looked over towards the booth, his heart almost stopped. It was him. It couldn't be him. He left the counter and walked over, his heart pounded with regret and guilt as he came right up to the table.

“Well I'll be damned, Roman Reigns.” the guy said as he looked right at Roman. 

“AJ?” Roman was breathless as he looked back at him. “AJ Styles?” 

“Hi, long time no see huh?” AJ smiled at him, while Roman sat there in shock. “Well? Are you just gonna stare at me or you gonna let me hug your neck?” 

“I…” Roman couldn't talk. He hasn't seen him in years. What do you say to a man, who was your first… everything? He got up, and hugged him, and AJ held on, a little too tightly in front of Dean. So Roman pulled back, scoffing slightly before shaking his head. “AJ, I can't believe it's you.” Roman gulped, and Dean could see how flustered he was by this guy's presence. He cleared his throat, to remind Roman that he was there, and that's when Roman slapped his own head apologetically, 

“Sorry, Dean this is AJ Styles, AJ, this is Dean Ambrose." Roman said, watching them shake hands. “My boyfriend.” Dean and AJ locked eyes like two men who knew they were already enemies even though this was the first time they ever met. Dean didn't let go, and neither did AJ. 

“So… how do you know Roman?” Dean asked, his grip on AJ getting tighter. 

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” AJ smirked, “How cute well to put it simply… we used to date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the worst written chapter, so if you don't want to read it, or comment I understand completely. 
> 
> rough samoan translation: "I think I love you."


	14. I'm Sure With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of dean's life falling apart the one thing he's sure of is how safe he feels with roman.

Dean's camera flashed on him.

The sun was shining bright on the beach, and Dean smiled as he watched Roman running down towards the water, to catch up with the blanket that happened to fly away. He took picture after picture of him, running, laughing and finally catching the blanket. Roman screamed over to Dean triumphantly and Dean laughed, taking a picture of him with both hands in the air. A week past since the gala, and ever since then Dean had been doing his best to keep his relationship private. His dad was on his case even more so now that he had Cody watching his every move. He hated that he was a prisoner at college, that he felt hopeless in the one place he used to feel safe.

Now, the only place he was safest was with him.

Dean had no idea that a one off kiss between a curious liberal and an angry republican would lead to an on and off again gay love affair, but yet, there he was. A boy in love with a man, one who was so sweet, smart, amazing, and so attentive, one that Dean found himself falling in love with more and more each day. He hadn't told Roman he loved him since that tragic day in his dorm room but _goddamn_ , he sure did feel it. Whenever Roman kissed him, or flashed those beautiful brown eyes, Dean would find himself, immersed, in how he felt about him.

If this love was so wrong, and against god to want someone of the same gender, then why did Dean fall in love with another boy? Where in the bible did it say that he could be studying one minute, then the next Roman was on his mind, that smile, his laugh, his perfect biceps. What god would let Dean fall for him, and never, ever in his life want to let him go?

Roman came back over to Dean and laid down exhaustedly next to him. Dean giggled and took another picture of him before he was pulled on top of his boyfriend, smiling when they were face to face. He loved his freckles, they weren't obvious but Roman had a small few right under his eye, and those brown eyes gleamed as the sun Illuminated each chocolate orb while he smiled back at him.

“What if someone sees us?” Dean asked, while watching him.

“All the way out here?” Roman laughed, “We're on a deserted beach in the middle of the day. You worry too much mister.” Dean blushed at him and gave his nose a kiss then rolled over. “Are you really that scared of him?” Roman asked softly, taking Dean's hand so he could caress it.

“Yes,” Dean confessed it easily because he knew, Roman wouldn’t judge him, “My father isn't like your family, baby, he's all duty and everyone thinks he's so charming when he's really just… an angry asshole with a drinking problem and a temper to match.” Dean looked away from his gaze and sighed, “I've been on the tail end of his beatings and life lessons and even though I may be too old to get hit now, if he knew what we do, or how I feel about you, a boy, he'd never stop… until he taught me the ultimate lesson.”

“And what's that?” Roman asked back.

Blue eyes stared at him worriedly, not a word came out of Dean’s mouth and it was like Roman just… understood.

Dean moved closer to Roman and laid on his chest. Roman immediately wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead softly. He knew Dean was scared to tell his father but he also realized why Dean didn’t want too. He was scared of losing everything, and that was a good reason to hide, but Roman also wanted Dean to be confident enough to not be too scared anymore… and he figured that it all started with him.

“I understand how scared you are Dean, and I think you're right. You shouldn't tell your father anything,” Roman’s answer actually shocked Dean, “At least not until you figure out who you are and what you really want from love, and life. I mean… I know you like me and I like you a lot,” Roman saw him blush again, “But you have to figure out, what does liking me mean? It doesn't automatically mean that you are gay, you know? Your sexuality is totally up to you… and if you want time to figure that out… I'm okay with it.”

“Wait…” Dean sat up for a second, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No, Dean, don't be dramatic,” Roman laughed, “All I'm saying is that, I got into two relationships, with two men who weren't ready, both when I was very young and in the end they both hurt me because I was naive to think young love lasts forever.” He sighed, “I like you, more than you know Dean, and I don't want to jump into this with you and have you resent me for never getting to explore your sexuality. Finn did, and it caused him to sleep with my best friend and even though I'm sure you and Seth would have fun,” Dean made a disgusted face at the notion, “I want you in my life. So if that means waiting, until you figure it out then that's what I'll do.”

“Roman…” Dean pushed him down on the blanket then straddled him. Roman smiled as he grabbed Dean's thighs and held on, “I… don't need time. I know for certain that I'm not straight and I want you. I had a break from us for months and all It did was make me want you more. I kind of figured that I wasn't straight that night you fucked me for the first time, but I _knew_ I wasn't straight when I got back with Faye and couldn't kiss her without thinking about you. I'm young, yeah, but I'm mature beyond a Finn, or an AJ Styles, and there's no one else in this state who can get me as hard as you do.” Roman laughed loudly at that. “I'm not sure if I'm gay, for right now, but I hope you can stay with me while I figure it out?”

“Of course I can, come here.” Roman pulled a laughing Dean forward and caught his lips in a soft passionate kiss. For the first time in both their lives they were experiencing a mature and healthy love, which had them wondering how their souls waited this long to finally… connect.

* * *

A few days later

Roman and Seth were coming out of genre theory class together, laughing about their professors all too obvious crush on Roman… this time to the point of telling Roman he was free for tutoring… day or night. They strolled through the park together and then stopped to get frozen yogurt. While Roman was waiting for his, Seth noticed a familiar face sitting down and talking to someone.

“Roman, oh my god,” Seth pulled on his tight white tee get Roman’s attention, “isn't that.. AJ Styles?” Roman furrowed his brows and looked over to see that it was AJ, enjoying a yogurt with a young woman. He shrugged and finishing paying for his food. “Don't just shrug, Roman! That's AJ Styles, the guy who deflowered you, AJ Styles, the married man you were fucking when you were barely legal, aj styles, the guy who gave you everything. Remember that apartment he brought downtown, _just_ for you guys to fuck in?”  

“Seth shut up okay,” Roman said as he paid the lady and then began to walk out of the store quick, hoping that AJ didn't see him. “I know AJ is back, I saw him around Nicole's diner last week. He blatantly told Dean that we used to date. Do you know how good of a blow job I gave Dean just to calm him down and get him to stop asking me so many questions?”

Seth took a big scoop of yogurt and laughed, “Oh my god if I was Dean I would be totally intimidated. He’s still so hot… oh my god, Does he know he's the only man you've bottomed to?”

“Yes, I told him.” Roman sighed, “Look it doesn't matter. None of the past matters because I'm building a future with Dean. All I remember AJ Styles as is a man who lied to me and took my virginity. That’s it.”

“That's all I am?” Roman heard AJ’s voice ask him. _Fuck._ He thought to himself. Why did he have to be so loud?

“Yes AJ,” Roman slowly turned around, to see him smiling as he walked over to him. “That's all you were. Or did you forget how we ended?”

“No, I remember,” his Georgian accent was strong as he spoke, something Roman would always remember, “I just don't dwell on that part. The part I remember, and love, always had you in my bed, making so much noise. Do you remember, Roman? We went bike riding up the mountain and then fucked by the stream?”

Roman clenched his jaw at the memory then shook his head, “Yeah I remember, I also remember you calling your wife right after, but oh, you don't remember that part because you thought I was sleeping.” he rolled his eyes at him, “Let's go, Seth, please.” Roman held Seth’s hand and then began walking away without another word.

“I’ll be seeing you around, Roman!” AJ yelled to his retreating frame.

“I'll see you in hell AJ!” Roman screamed back.

* * *

 

“... Last thing on the agenda for today, our annual crossing bridges potluck picnic with Irving Park University is this weekend, which means all of us are going as invited guests of the dean of the school for the weekend, except one of you who will have to stay here, on house duty because we can't keep getting pranked by beta pi, it's embarrassing.”

Dean wasn’t listening at all to Marty's agenda at first. They had these meetings all the time and plus his mind was on seeing Roman later. They were gonna go to a restaurant off campus and eat, then probably fuck all night long. He actually hasn't had Roman… sexually in a few days and Dean didn't know if missing dick was a thing or not but… he really missed his dick.  He loved the way Roman felt inside of him, how deep he could go, the look on his face while they fucked…

“... I think Dean should stay.” Cody said outloud.

As soon as Dean heard his name he focused back on the meeting at hand. “What?” Dean said, shaking his head no repeatedly, “No I can’t I…” how do you tell your frat, full of republican white boys that you have plans to get fucked by your hot samoan boyfriend all night?

Easy…

You don't.

“I agree,” Marty said to Cody, smiling at his candor, “All those in favor of Dean staying the weekend say aye.” Everyone except Jack agreed that Dean had to stay, and that's when Marty closed his book and smiled. “Alright boys all of you go upstairs and pack, we leave in an hour. Oh Dean,” Marty came over to Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder, “Thank you so much for agreeing to stay here all weekend. You are truly future presidential material.”

Dean simply smiled at Marty, then once he was gone, Dean ran upstairs to Cody's room. He pushed the door open and then pushed Cody, who had been packing, forward. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT HUH?” Dean shouted at him. “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE?”

Cody simply smiled at Dean, then turned back around,  and began packing again. “Look, it’s simple Dean, if you're here all weekend, then you can't go out. That means no sinning with your whore, and a weekend free of reporting every stupid little thing you do back to your father.” Cody slammed his suitcase down, then picked it up, “You're welcome by the way,” he said while going towards the door.

“I'm welcome? You just made me a prisoner in my own home. I can't leave, Cody. I can't even go to study hall on house duty you know the frat rules! I can't fucking do anything! Fuck, Cody do you honestly hate me that much? We used to be best friends once upon a time. Now it's like ever since I decided to try and actually live my life… you're jealous or something. What is this Cody? Why are you treating me this way?”

Cody stopped and turned towards Dean again, “This is just me, Dean, looking out for daddy's greatest creation. It's something he asked me to do, so I do it. For him.”

“Why though, Cody? Why do whatever he asks you to do?”

Cody's eyes glimmered with the same afraid look that Dean knew too well. His father’s hold on him was something both he and Dean shared. But, Dean was his son, he was bond to him by blood for the rest of his life… but what about Cody? What did his father have on him that made Cody so afraid of even challenging him in the slightest?

Cody didn’t answer Dean’s question. He just looked at him one last time then exited the room. Leaving Dean as trapped as he felt when he used to be at home, as he did in school.

Dean punched the wall then grumbled all the way towards his room where he slammed the door then plopped down defeatedly on the bed. He took out his phone and saw he had a text from Roman. Dean sighed, and decided to just tell him the truth. Maybe he'd get to see him sometime next week… if he could.

**Roman: Hey pretty boy, I miss you. I can't wait to see you tonight. Text me the time you're coming?**

**Dean: Hey babe, it looks like I'm not gonna make it, I have guard duty at the frat all weekend, and can't get out of it. :( I'm sorry, xoxo.**

Dean figured Roman would text him back when he could but the bubbles on his Imessage popped up not a minute later.

**Roman: Frat duty? What’s that?**

**Dean: Basically it's a person in charge of the house. I am not allowed to leave. :/**

**Roman: In charge huh? That's hot. ;)**

**Dean: Baby don't make jokes I'm dying here.**

**Roman: Hmm.. maybe I can help with that… are you gonna be with your brothers all weekend or… all alone?**

**Dean: Uh.. all alone… why?**

**Roman: Hmm… then maybe I can come over? I can sneak in and finally get to see your room… and possibly fuck you in it.**

Dean had no idea why but he suddenly had to squeeze his thighs together when he read Roman's text. He was getting hard at the thought of Roman fucking him in his bed. He bit his lip and smiled as he texted him back.

**Dean: Yes. Oh my god, yes. There's a back entrance near Friedman, meet me there in like 2 hours? I'll let you in.**

**Roman: Oh I can't wait. See you soon, pretty boy. ;)**

Dean smiled as he looked up at the ceiling. Roman was coming over. Roman was going to be in his room. Roman was gonna help christen his bed. He was so giddy he kicked his sheets around and threw his hands in the air like a teenaged girl who just got asked to prom.. well if prom was his bed that is. He calmed down a bit then looked around his room. It was clean but not “guests are coming over” clean.

“Fuck..” Dean sat up. “I got work to do."

* * *

 

“So Mr. Styles it's so great to have you back as a teacher at our university.” Mrs Saunders, who happened to be the dean of the university was absolutely over elated to say to AJ as they shook hands.

“Well, it is great to be back,” Aj agreed.

“Yes, it is! We missed you so much, you were one of our favorite professors here, everyone was so sad when you moved back to Georgia. If you don't mind me asking...  why did you decide on coming back now?”

“Well…” AJ stopped to think about it, and his mind took him back to almost 6 years ago.

_“Fuck!” He slowly pounded into Roman, holding onto his young waist as he fucked him slowly. Roman’s face stained his glass window, while he tossed his ass back and forth on AJ’s dick. “Slow down…” Aj coached him, and slower, Roman went, moaning as AJ took complete control of his movements. He saw the 18 year old look back at him as his ass slapped hard against AJ’s thighs, he went faster, kissing Roman passionately while he spread his legs wider, and thrusted hard once, then slapped his ass, twice, then slapped his ass, and a third for good measure._

_“Who's are you?” AJ said while holding onto him for dear life._

_“I'm yours,” a young Roman told him._

“Mr. Styles?” Mrs Saunders said his name over and over just to get AJ to focus back on her, “Are you okay?”

AJ cleared his throat, and nodded, “Uh, yes, I am…” He ran a hand through his short brown hair and smiled,

“I just came back to reclaim what's rightfully mine… that's all.”

* * *

 

Two hours later, Dean was sneaking Roman into the very empty frat house. He made sure no one saw Roman come in before they took the tunnel back up to the house. Once they got in, Roman picked him up off his feet and pressed him hard into the wall by the stairs. He made Dean laugh when he tickled his sides then kissed him softly. Dean smiled into each kiss, his hands went all over Roman's chest, and face until they found a home around his shoulders. He loved kissing him, and that special thing Roman did with his tongue that had Dean moaning against his mouth.  

“Hold on tight babe.” Roman whispered to him as he carried Dean up the stairs towards his room. “Which one is yours?” He asked him and Dean pointed to the one down the hall. They kissed all the way there and Roman opened the door, walking Dean over to the bed. He laid them both down on it gently, then sat up and took off his shirt. “I can't believe I get to finally fuck you in this sacred room. Who had this room before you?"

“I don't know, but I do know it used to be my dad's room once upon a time.” Dean laughed while taking off his own shirt.

“Ha, that's even better. Daddy's is never gonna know I fucked his little boy in the room he once went to… I'm guessing only first base in?” Roman and Dean laughed together and that’s when Roman pulled on his jeans and practically ripped them off of him. Dean laughed so hard at Roman's pulling his clothes off and soon he was turned around on his stomach. “Have we ever done it when I'm not looking at you?” Roman genuinely asked.

“No, you love looking at me while we fuck.” Dean laughed, “Why? What do you wanna try?”

“Hmm… I don't know..  doggy style? But I warn you, you'll be spread out so wide you'll feel my dick at an angle that is so direct you just might cum sooner than I'd like.”

“Mmm.. I doubt it.” Dean challenged him. “You can’t make me cum that quickly.. nice try though.”

“You think so?” Roman was the one laughing now, “Okay, I'll bite. If I make you cum in lets say… 15 minutes you have to call me a certain word I'll say only in the midst of sex.. deal?”

“Okay,” Dean was curious now, “And what do I get if you don't?”

“Me.” Roman said softly.. “I haven't done this in a long time but… if you win… I'll let you fuck me.”

Dean stopped laughing with Roman, for a second, and turned around, and sat up on his knees so that he and  Roman were face to face. He saw the look in Roman's eyes, he was serious but also scared. He told Dean about what happened with AJ and the reason he didn’t bottom to just anyone, so this was a big step for them. Aj broke his heart once upon a time and even though he never told Dean he loved him yet… Dean knew that he could just might… from this alone. “Roman.. are you… are you sure about this?” Dean asked, while softly touching his boyfriend’s chest.

Roman immediately nodded. “I'm sure with you.”

He placed Dean’s arms around his neck, and kissed him back into the bed. Their jeans and shoes came off somewhere in the midst of heavy duty make outs and hard erections grinding against each other. It felt so different this time around, Roman was acting like Dean’s entire body was delicate, his kisses were slow and steady, and each time his wet lips moved down somewhere on Dean’s body he moaned out, just for him. “Look at me,” Roman said, making those blue eyes watch as pulled down his briefs at a snail's pace, kissing each of Dean's thighs as he tossed the black underwear onto the floor. “Come here baby,” Roman whispered, pulling Dean softly by his hair, towards his beautifully crafted dick. “Slow and steady, like I taught you.” Dean nodded, “And look at me while you do it.”

Dean innocent blues stayed on him like Roman asked, looking up into dark brown as he placed him slowly in his mouth. Dean loved the face Roman made whenever he sucked him off. It was always that jaw slightly open, exasperated from pleasure look that had Roman moaning while his head bobbed up and down on him, saliva covering his thickness while it moved in and out of Dean’s mouth. Roman watched him, and at the same time looked at Dean's ass, which had gotten so fat recently. He grabbed it, then slapped, watching it jiggle against his palm.

Dean loved it when Roman slapped his ass, it felt so good especially when he had him deep in his mouth, but this time Roman did something different. He placed a finger in his mouth, sucked on it slowly then moved it slowly in between the crevice of Dean's ass. He jerked at the feel, but kept going, moaning around Roman's dick as he began to play with his asshole. Roman rimmed the wet finger around it in a circular motion before placing it slowly inside of Dean. “Fuck!” Roman’s dick fell out of his mouth as he turned his head to watch Roman's finger go in and out of him. Dean’s head fell on Roman's thigh as he started to push against it, fucking himself on Roman's finger. Roman grabbed his dick with his other hand and slowly placed it back in Dean’s mouth, watching him suck, needlessly for it.

“Fuck, you're amazing.” Roman said while tossing his head back in pleasure as his fingers went faster inside of Dean. When he heard Dean let out a desperate moan around his dick, that’s when Roman realized it was time. He slowly pulled out and gave Dean soft, slow kisses before slapping his ass. “Assume the position babe,” He joked, making Dean laughed as he turned around on his stomach, then placed his ass in the air.

Roman kissed his back softly then grabbed the condom and lube from under Dean’s pillow. He placed it on, then slapped his dick near Dean's ass before he slowly pushed in. Dean moaned out louder than he usually would, Roman felt so much bigger at this angle. He felt him hold onto his waist and thrust in deep a few times, so his boyfriend could accommodate to his size, after a few more thrusts Roman picked up the pace, and started to roll his hips each time he pounded into Dean making him whimper out his name oh so loudly.

“Fuck, you have such a nice ass baby,” Roman said as he fucked him, smacking it while his dick went in and out of that tight heat. “Push back hard on me, it'll feel so good.” Dean looked back at him and nodded, throwing his ass back the way Roman wanted and fuck… he was so right, he felt so good, god.. he felt like heaven. “Fuck, just like that baby.. you're such a great learner.” Roman grabbed at Dean's neglected dick and began to stroke as he thrusted inside of him. It all felt so good, so tight… so amazing…

  
That neither of them heard the opening of Dean's door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AJ's intentions are revealed... but will he get Roman back?
> 
> What do you guys think Romanaj, baloreigns or ambreigns?
> 
> Also... who's at the door?


	15. The Oh My God Factor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who's at the door?
> 
> homophobic slurs in this chapter, please don't read if it triggers you!

“Oh my god!”

“Oh my god.”

“OH MY GOD!”

That sentence uttered three times. One, by Dean as he looked back at his boyfriend, watching him fuck him fast, their eyes on each other, while they tried out a new position, that, fuck, Roman was right, had him on the brink of coming in just 10 minutes. The second time was by Roman, who gladly pounded into him from behind, keeping those devilish eyes on him, his back, and his ass seemingly at the same time. The last though, came from neither Dean or Roman. The sound of horror, judgement, and fear came from a person neither of them expected at all.

“ **OH MY GOD… DEAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”**

Cody yelled out loudly, causing both Roman and Dean to stop, and scramble to find cover. Cody's eyes were wide as he watched Roman pull out of Dean and his best friend put on his briefs fast, while Roman scurried underneath Dean's covers. Cody couldn’t breathe, he was in shock by what he had just seen.

Dean bent over.

Dean taking what looked like a _really_ big dick.

Dean… with another boy.

Cody backed into the wall, and stared blankly out the window, into the night.

“Cody?” Dean said, slowly moving towards him.

 _“They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.”_ Cody whispered under his breath to himself.

“Cody?” Dean tried again to get his despondent friend’s attention.

 _“In the very same way, on the strength of their dreams these ungodly people pollute their own bodies, reject authority and heap abuse on celestial beings.”_ Cody spoke again, under his breath to himself. After a while Dean realized he was quoting scripture. Jude, to be exact. Dean blew out a frustrated breath then grabbed Cody by his shoulders, trying to get his attention.

“CODY!” Dean screamed at him. Cody finally looked up at Dean, his blue eyes scared, and his body shaking with nerves. “Cody..” Dean lowered his voice, “I know this is a shock but…”

“Shock?” Cody shook his head, then slowly pulled away from Dean. “No, this isn't a shock. It isn't a shock that you're a fucking FAG!”

“HEY! Watch your fucking mouth!” Roman got up to step to Cody, and that’s when Dean stepped between them and held Roman back by his hand.

“YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH… YOU FUCKIN FAG. HOW DARE YOU APPROACH ME? YOU SINNER! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL YOU AND DEAN!” Cody screamed into Roman's face, and that's when Roman grabbed at his collar.

“ROMAN NO!” Dean shouted at him, turning to pull Roman's hand off of Cody's frightened shirt. “Roman, please baby, let go.” Dean begged him and Roman took one look into those blue eyes and just nodded, letting him go. Cody fell back to the ground and that’s when Roman started to put on his clothes.

“Wait..” Dean said watching him, “Roman please don't leave.” Dean was so focused on Roman he didn't notice Cody crawl out of the room. “Please, Cody is just… a dick. I don't want this ruining us. Please Roman… stay.” Dean held onto him right as Roman began to put on his shirt, and they both exhaled heavily. Roman turned around to nod and give Dean a kiss but he noticed that Cody was nowhere to be found.

“Dean… Cody.. he's..” Roman started to say.

Dean turned around to see the empty room. “FUCK!” He gave Roman a kiss on the cheek then bolted out of the room, down the hall to Cody’s. He was sitting on his bed, dialing a number in his phone, so Dean quickly grabbed it and tossed it on his bed. “Cody listen to me!” Dean said, grabbing him again.

“You fag!” Cody spat in his face.  “Fucking sinner! When your dad finds out you're gonna lose everything! EVERYTHING.”

“Cody, please..” Dean fell to his knees in front of him. “Please.. you.. you can't tell him.”  Dean pleaded with him.

“Yeah? Why not? Give me a reason not to out your fag ass right now!”

“Because this isn't just sex for me…” Dean began to say.

“YEAH RIGHT ALL YOU ARE IS A SLAVE TO THE SIN OF THE FLESH, DEAN.”

“No, Cody! It's not. It's not a sin… because that guy you just saw in the room? I'm in love with him.”

Cody lost his breath, as he looked into Dean’s eyes. “What?” Cody shook his head, “No, love between two men doesn’t exist DEAN, IT'S AGAINST THE BIBLE!”

“It does, exist, Cody and like you, I've been trying to figure out how, if God exists, and this love is truly a sin, how is it that I could love him so much? From the first time I kissed him.. I felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life, then… I slept him once, just to see if… sex and chemistry were two separate entities, but with him, it's like science, it's like math, it's better than technology, and unexplainable to religion. I tried to stay away, I fought against this for years of my life, but I can't lie to myself anymore… Cody,” tears formed in Dean’s eyes  as he looked at his oldest friend, “I think I'm gay… and I'm in love with another man.”

Cody watched Dean breakdown after he said it. He was crying but… it wasn’t tears of someone who felt hurt, or guilty, Dean had a soft smile on his face, and he was laughing to himself, like he had just come to terms with something that he had been struggling with for years. In all Cody years he's never seen someone so… happy. It was so strange… if it's not something god wanted then why was Dean so… happy?

What did it mean?

Dean pulled away to sit next to Cody on the bed, and for a minute the two boys, formerly best friends, sat in uncomfortable silence. Dean didn't know what else to say and Cody… was probably still trying to process all of this. Dean wiped all his tears then looked at Cody, who had his eyes averted to the floor. “I know this is a lot to process, Cody, but…” Dean began.

“Does it hurt?” Cody asked, low, and almost under his breath. “You know when you guys.. do it, does he hurt you?”

“Not at all,” Dean assured him. “It hurt for a couple of minutes when he took my virginity but he's always made me feel comfortable and wanted every time.”

“Does he kiss you?” Cody wondered, slowly looking up at see Dean’s warm blue eyes, not judging him by his questions. “Do you cuddle afterwards?”

“Yeah, we kiss a lot… and he loves to cuddle despite me being all over him all the time.” Dean laughed to himself, “He treats me good, Cody. He doesn't use me, or judge me. He loves every part of me.”

“ _It's supposed to feel good_?” Cody said that last part to himself, but he knew Dean heard. He saw the look in Cody's eyes and suddenly, he got up off the bed and started to pace back and forth, “Dean, I don't know what to do. I can't lie to your father because he knows when I'm lying, and he told me specifically to leave the trip with the frat to come home and watch you and tell you that he's looking forward to seeing you over the break. What should I do? I.. don't want to lie but you know how your father is, but… you seem so happy. I don't want to tell him this, and ruin everything that is good for you right now.”

Dean was shocked, Cody just said he didn’t want to ruin his happiness? He just told Cody, his oldest bible thumping friend that he was gay and Cody… didn't want to hurt him. He wanted Dean to be happy, even though Dean could see Cody was anything but. His father had some kind of strange hold on him and Dean didn't know why but it scared him to even think what he could be holding over Cody's head. Dean sighed, and came over to Cody, stilling his friend by taking his hand softly.

“Cody, listen, I don't know what my father has on you but.. you don't have to listen to him. He's miles away in Texas and we're here and now. This is your life, and no matter what, you deserve happiness, true happiness that’s not going to happen unless you start living for you instead of him.”

Cody listened to Dean but he still couldn’t stop his blue eyes from tearing up. “You don't understand,” Cody sobbed, _“He owns me.”_ the fear in Cody's eyes was more prevalent than ever, “He owns me. He tells me all the time. I’m so scared Dean, I'm so fucking scared.”

Dean brought Cody into his arms and he held him.  He had no idea what Cody meant by that sentence but he'd be damned if he let his father hurt Cody anymore than he already has. “Shh,” Dean said caressing him softly. “It's all gonna be okay… I promise you… he'll never hurt you again.”

When Dean came back in his room it was so late that Roman was asleep on his bed. He smiled at his man then came up behind him, wrapping his entire body around him. Dean kissed the side of his neck and watched Roman start to stir, before turning around.

“Hey, how did it go?” Roman asked, even though his eyes were still closed.

“I'll tell you in the morning,” Dean whispered, and with a nod Roman held him close, and he went back to sleep. Dean kissed his cheek softly then laid down as well, right next to the man he loved more than anything in the entire world.

-

In the morning, when Dean woke up, he saw that Roman was gone. He pouted, but when he turned around he saw that his shoes were still there. Curiosity got the better of Dean as he left the room without putting a shirt on and he went looking for Roman. He heard laughter coming from downstairs so Dean followed the voices, only to end up in the kitchen, to see Cody happily laughing with Roman at the table as they ate together. Dean hasn't seen Cody laugh that genuinely in a long time. He smiled, and then cleared his throat to make his presence known to the boys.

“Hey beautiful,” Roman said it softly, looking at Dean like he held his heart in his very hands. Cody watched Dean blush as he came forward, and they kissed gently before Dean touched his face, and tickled his beard. It was love, Cody said to himself. He never thought that it was real, that two men could love each other the way a man and a woman could but there his friend was, looking at another man the way he's never looked at anyone else before. “I made breakfast! Cody helped!” Roman added, pulling Dean into his lap.

“That’s not true… I um, just made the eggs, Roman did mostly everything.” Cody blushed, shyly.

“Well you were a big help,” he said to Cody, “Babe there's a plate for you in the microwave. Come, join us.” Dean nodded happily then grabbed his breakfast out of the microwave. He came back and sat in Roman's lap again then began to eat. Cody watched them, do something so simple yet it looked so affectionate. Roman saw his face and he thought that maybe he was making Cody uncomfortable so he whispered to Dean to get the chair and Dean pouted, sitting down next to Roman.

“Why did you guys stop?” Cody asked curiously.

“Oh, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, you know too much too soon might..” Roman began.

“It… doesn’t… well a little, but not in the way you think. I was raised this way, Dean too. We went to church three times a week with Dean's father. They preached to us that if a man lay with another man, he lives with his sin, without love, without gods mercy. But, last night Dean told me that he-”

“Cody!” Dean cut Cody off, and shook his head no repeatedly.

“Dean told you what?” Roman asked, looking curiously between Dean and Cody.

“... that he loves you.” Cody spit out, despite Dean telling him not too. Roman’s lips parted in shock, and that's when Dean’s fork hit his plate in anger and Dean got up and ran upstairs. “I'm sorry…” Cody said, “I thought he told you, the way he looks at you and you at him, I assumed that you knew.” Cody sighed, “I didn’t mean to cause offence, I just I see it now, what Dean was talking about, being happy. I used to think the church was everything, that god was everything and if you go against him you go against the world. I…”

“Cody, it's okay. You didn’t offend. I've actually known for a while. I think… I love him too.” Roman smiled at the way Cody's eyes lit up when he said it. “I'm gonna go talk to him okay? I'll be right back.” Roman smiled at Cody, then jogged up the stairs to Dean’s room. He knocked on the door then came in, only to see Dean hiding underneath his bed sheets.

“Hi.” Roman said, coming over to sit next to him on the bed.

“Go away Roman,” Dean said back from under the sheets.

“You know I'm not going away silly,” Roman pulled the sheet down slowly, seeing Dean with a red face and puffy eyes. “I think we should talk, don't you?”

“No, we shouldn't.” Dean shook his head and pulled the cover back over him, “Because we had this talk before and I ended up looking like an idiot. I don't want to lose you Roman.”

“You're not gonna lose me.” Roman laughed at how cute he was being right now. “Dean you can tell Jack how you feel about me, and Cody… why not me? Is it because you said you loved me 3 months in and I got scared? It's normal. We're adults, and my past relationships haven’t been the greatest things in the entire world. So of course, I was afraid that I’d ruin it somehow, where you'd want to cheat on me, or lie to me like AJ did… but I'm not scared anymore. Yes, this is new for me but, right now I can't see myself with anyone but you.” Roman pulled the covers back again, “Dean… I..”

“I love you.” Dean cut him off and said it first. He saw Roman smile at him, “I love you and it scares me because my dad will never be okay with this, and I'll probably get disowned, and my political career is down the drain, but it doesn't matter it's not what I want anyway… I only did it to appease my dad.”

“Yeah?” Roman laid down next to him and pulled Dean on top, kissing him softly. “Then what do you really want?” Roman asked him between kisses.

“Right now? I just wanna be happy and I don’t know what path that may lead me on but… I know I'm happiest when I'm with you. I love you, Roman.”

“I love you too, Dean.” Roman said back with ease. “Like crazy.”

“You love me.” Dean smiled wide against his lips. “Say it again baby,” he asked him, smirking.

“I love you.” Roman said it again.

“I love you too.” Dean said smiling wide before he was kissed again by the man who made feel like he was on top of the world.

* * *

 

_**Later on that day.** _

Roman had left about two hours ago after long kissing session which lead to great sex. He was going to spend the day with Dean but he got a call from Seth saying that his professor needed to see him. Roman ran over to Friedman theater where Professor Saber always was. He had an office in the back that Roman had the keys too since he was his assistant last year. Roman opened the door, “Mr. Saber?” Roman called out for him as he took the key out of the door. It was dark so Roman turned on the light and when he did… he got the worst surprise of all.

“AJ?” Roman wasn’t anywhere near happy to see him. “What are you doing in Professor Saber’s office? In the dark no less?”

“Isn't that obvious?” AJ said back, smiling, “I was waiting for you.”

“Why?” Roman shook his head, “You know what? Don't answer that. You obviously tricked Professor Saber into getting me here so we could be alone because in your crazy, hick mind you still think after all these years… you have a chance with me.”  

“Roman,” Aj got up, and came closer to Roman, who in turn backed away. “I just want a chance to talk, that's all. You won't even give me that. We left so much unresolved then I moved, and you started dating that Finn guy… but I never stopped loving you.”

“Loving me?” Roman began to laugh, “Aj I was 18, a young boy you wanted, you got, and you lied to. You have a wife and a family, why don't you leave me alone?”

“I am divorced now, and no matter what I can't leave you alone,” Aj moved even closer now, making Roman back up against the door. “You were the one thing I was missing and I should've never let you go.” He looked up at him and Aj closed the last space between them, their bodies now flush against one another. Roman shook his head and pushed AJ away, then made sure their eyes didn’t meet.

“You've finally stopped cheating on your wife and set her free of all your lies? Great. But I love someone now, and he loves me. And yes, you will always be my first, and you look amazing, but AJ… you need to move on from me. You'll never have me the way you want ever again. I'm sorry.” Roman’s tone was somber, but serious. He opened the door, and began to walk off but not before he heard AJ say,

“I'm not giving up Roman! I'm gonna fight to get you back.”

* * *

 

“Yes, Dean, I'm fine.. yes I'm serious. No I haven't been texting or calling your dad… yes, I'm done with all of that!” Cody was on the phone with Dean in the kitchen. Dean had left a little bit after Roman did to go to study hall. He asked Cody if he wanted to come with him but Cody said he needed time alone. It's now been 17 hours since he texted or called Mr. Ambrose and Cody was feeling great. Dean was right, Cody needed to find out what made him happy and he couldn't do that if all he decided to be was an informant for his father. It wasn’t fair to Dean and it definitely wasn’t fair to Cody.

“Dean, I'm fine!” Cody said as he made himself a sandwich, “You don't have to stay on the line all the way to Roman’s dorm for me. He's miles away in Texas and I'm here.”

“I just want to make sure everything is okay.” Dean said back.

“I'm fine. I swear. I'll see you later okay? Say hi to Roman for me.” Cody hung up afterwards and then realized he forgot the mustard. He opened the fridge to get it and then..

“Who's Roman?”

The voice still haunted Cody to this day. He closed the fridge, thinking he had to be dreaming but there he was, in a off black Gucci suit, hands in pockets, salt and pepper hair looking freshly groomed. Cody couldn’t breathe as he looked back at him. How the fuck was he here? He told Cody he left town… fucking liar.

“M-Mr. Ambrose..” Cody stuttered, looking back at him. “I thought you went back home?”

“Cody, don't be coy. I asked you a fucking question. Who is Roman, and why is my son going to see him?” There was nothing but fear in Cody's eyes as Mr. Ambrose started to walk over to him. Cody's feet felt like cement. He couldn't run. He couldn't hide. There was nothing he could do in that moment. Cody was trapped, just like he had been since he was 17.

“He's… Dean’s tutoring student I told you about? Dean asked if he could go help him and I agreed.” Cody watched him come face to face. and he lost his breath just looking at him. “I swear, Mr. Ambrose, I'm telling the truth.”

“Relax Cody, I know you'd never lie to me..” Richard smiled, “Tell me… who else is here?”

“Um.. no one.” Cody said, trying to to stop his hands from shaking. He knew what happened next. He closed his eyes, and as soon as he did, he felt it… his hands on him. He slowly squeezed Cody's sides then they moved down to his ass, where he cupped it before giving it a firm slap.

“To be honest, I should've left yesterday... but I just couldn't leave without having you... one more time.” Richard said, laughing at Cody’s eyes being closed. “Come on, get up those stairs and show me how much of a slut you are for daddy.”

Cody nodded, and began to walk up the stairs with Richard behind him. He let Richard in and the older man smiled at him. There were tears in Cody's eyes as he was pushed up against the wall… and closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess we now know why Cody was so scared. I get no joy in writing things like this, and to anyone who has went through this before just know you're not alone. -Melle


	16. Bad Religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _for nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad._

Dean loved laughing with Roman.

He loved how easily he made him laugh, especially that post coital laughter that was coupled with sweat all over their bodies and sweet kisses coming from their lips. He ran his sweaty hands through Roman’s chunky black hair and smiled as he looked up at him. Sometimes, Dean couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He had this beautiful guy who loved him and didn't want to change him. He truly loved Dean, just the way he was. 

And Dean loved him right back.

“Mr. Ambrose, we've  _ got _ to stop meeting like this,” a sweaty Roman teased him before kissing down his neck then back up towards his jawline, to his lips. 

“But Mr. Reigns,” Dean used his best Marilyn Monroe impression,  _ well, if Marilyn Monroe was a dude, _ “You said I'd get an A if I allowed you to put your  _ big dick _ in my ass.” Dean made Roman laugh so hard he fell against his shoulder, chuckling. Dean’s own head tossed back as he laughed too, holding onto his boyfriend. “Oh my god, I can only imagine how gay porn really is. I never watched it when I was a teen. My mom blocked all the porn sites because she said it's how men become fornicators… if only she could see me now.” 

“Oh my god,” Roman finally pulled out of Dean then rolled over so they were both comfortable. “Well you’re not missing anything, gay porn is like the worst. It's seriously like no dialogue, which as a film student myself hurts me enough, but if there is any, it's really shitty, most of the popular ones are the ones with two white males one of which is probably G4P and it's just so awkward watching a dude like that take dick…”

“Wait, what’s G4P?” Dean was curious. 

“Gay for pay,” Roman told him, smiling at his innocence. “Believe it or not, straight men do gay porn. Most do tops, some do bottoms, verse, you know. It's actually really funny to watch. Me and Seth used to watch it when we were younger.” Roman shrugged.

“You and Seth huh…” Dean looked at him, his bottom lip disappearing while he gnawed nervously. “Ro, I don't want to sound like a jealous asshole here, which is why I never asked but I gotta know, have you ever… ya know slept with Seth?” 

“Seth?” Roman burst out laughing, holding his stomach at how funny that was. “No, no way, absolutely not. Seth is my best friend. I don't see him that way. He's always wanted too, I mean, at one point so did I, but we ended up laughing and not going through with it. He's a great guy but, my love for him is brotherly. Plus, he's definitely not my type.” 

“Mm. I see.” Dean nodded, actually relieved even though he wouldn’t show it. “So what is your type then? Cause, no offence but you had AJ, Finn and now me and I'm not really seeing a pattern? We're all so different.” 

“Oh my… well that's not exactly true. Um,” Roman sat up, and Dean followed, sort of embarrassed. “You three have one same trait you share and it's not just pretty blue eyes,” he laughed, “Um, I'm kind of attracted to the asshole type? AJ, when I met him was known as the most strict professor here and by strict I mean  _ strictly dickly _ despite having a wife. Finn, was the bad boy in high school. He drove a motorcycle, had a leather jacket, with cigarettes always in his pocket, tight abs lived the  _ cliche, _ and wanted me more than he wanted anyone else in school. The first time we fucked was at his house, he pushed me against the wall and that was the first time I ever topped a man.” Roman blushed, and Dean shyly smiled.

“Oh really?” Dean’s eyebrows raised curiously. “Okay what about me? I'm not really an asshole.” 

“You..” Roman squeezed his bare thighs while looking at him, “You were the Republican. That in itself was a feat for me because I never fucked a conversative boy before. You were so rude to me when we first met, I thought you were like them but, I saw something in your eyes that night. You weren't upset because I told you weren't straight, you were upset that I read you that quickly. It was so cute honestly. So I thought why not take it a step further, and I challenged you to kiss me cause I wanted to see how deep in the closet you were, but I never knew that kissing someone could feel so… fucking great.”

Dean blushed as Roman relived that night. Dean would never forget it. It was the best kiss he's ever gotten and will ever get again. That night was the night of his true sexual awakening and he knew for sure that he really didn’t want to go back anytime soon. He came to grips with the fact that he  _ really _ loved dick, and yes that was probably crude to say but that's why Dean didn’t say it outloud. He loved  _ sucking _ dick,  _ taking _ dick and most importantly  _ Roman’s _ dick. Dean was pretty sure he was gay but he was so afraid of what that meant. It meant he could never love Faye the way she desperately wanted him too. It meant that a political career, unless times changed was completely out of the question. But that was actually the one thing Dean was okay with.

He loved political science, and he was  _ good _ at it but what he really wanted was something that made him as happy as Roman was when he talks about films. He could literally talk about films and setting, plot, lighting, directing techniques and shit all day and never get tired. Dean didn't have that. There was so joy in talking about defense politics, or the American National security policies for Dean. He didn't know what made him happy,  _ except _ Roman and that scared him.

“Baby?” Roman whispered over to Dean who seemed lost in thought, “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Dean smiled, “I was just thinking about what makes me happy.” He looked up into the big brown eyes, “Besides you.” a short laugh, smile combo came from Dean, then he fell back against Roman’s pillows. Roman climbed on top of him, and made Dean smile.

“Dean, can I be honest?” Roman asked him softly and Dean of course nodded, “You've been over here a lot, we’ve studied together, and I even tried to help you with your homework once despite not really understanding it, but I could see, how unhappy you seem when you do study or do an essay, it's like you're doing it out of necessity and not joy. But, I've also seen you take a million and one pictures of me and everything else you deem beautiful and they're actually really great photos. You have an entire gallery of great pics that could be showcased anywhere you'd want if you just tried. You're absolutely amazing at photography, do you know that?” 

Roman watched Dean’s eyes light up at he thought about it. That joy he got, it was all over his face. His smile reached his eyes and his dimples were out on full force. Roman just wished Dean could see how happy he seemed, just thinking about photography.  “I am good,” Dean said to himself, more than Roman, “But my dad won't ever let me switch majors. Not when he could have a son who is a direct link to the white house.”

“Dean Ambrose! You are NOT just your father's son!” Roman kissed his nose and made Dean blush, “You have had this sexual, and spiritual awakening of sorts, where you let yourself experience something I bet you've been hiding forever, and I can say with confidence that you’re better than most guys I've slept with. You're in my bed right now, fighting against what he taught you for us… for  _ me.  _ So don't you think it's time to start living for you too?” 

Dean’s blues looked back into brown and his hands went through Roman’s hair as he contemplated. He was right, but Dean was also scared. This whole new life he was trying to build for himself could bite him in the ass, he could lose everything. But something in the back of his mind was telling him that Roman was so incredibly worth it and more importantly that Dean was worth it too. 

He owed it to himself to be happy, despite the consequences.

He felt Roman wrap his legs around him and Dean couldn't stop smiling. He laid a kiss on his neck and then one on his lips so gently before pulling away. “ I'll think about it, but for now, I should go. I left Cody alone at the frat and he's so vulnerable right now.” 

“For once, I agree with you leaving,” they both smiled, “Your friend needs you… I just, I want you to really think about it okay? About being truly happy and doing what is best for you.” 

“I will.”  Dean gave him a kiss then got up to get dressed. Roman whistled at him putting on his tight boxer briefs he bought him. They just hugged his ass so much better than those boxers did. He had a nice ass that deserved to be shown off. Roman lifted one hand to squeeze it while Dean put on his pants and it made Dean smile, his dimples out in full force while he bit down on his bottom lip. “If you don't stop I just might get naked again and put this dick down your throat.”

“Mm. You know I wouldn’t mind.” Roman smiled back at him, “But I'll wait until next time.” Roman fell back against his pillows, watching his boyfriend put his clothes on when he remembered something, “Oh fuck! Dean, before you go, I actually have something to ask you…”

“Ask away baby,” Dean smiled. 

“Okay well,” Roman got up off the bed, standing completely naked in front of Dean, who was enjoying the view very much so. “I know that break is coming up and I know we’re not out to the public yet but I was hoping that instead of going to Texas for your break, you come down to Pensacola, with me. I want you to meet my family.” 

Dean didn't know why exactly, but as soon as Roman said he wanted to meet his family he got nervous. He knew that they were super accepting of Roman being gay but, what happens when he brings home Dean? A closeted, possibly gay, 20 year old republican. Dean knew how much they loved Finn, what if he couldn't compare to him? What if his family took one look at Dean's red hair, and pale face and rejected him because he wasn't hot, and Irish? 

“I don't know,” Dean finally said, placing Roman's hoodie over his head. “I don't think it's a good idea.” 

“What?” Roman was confused, “Why not? I already told mom and dad about you, they are ecstatic to meet you and my cousins know about you too. Everyone wants to meet the boy I love, why don't you want to meet them?”

“Roman I just, I'm still figuring a lot out right now, like my sexuality and… I'm still trying to wrap my head around that, I don't think I should meet your family until I get my head around who I am.” Dean hated that he just lied to the boy he loved, he hated even more so that Roman could automatically tell that he was lying. His face was so stern, unchanged and  _ full _ of anger. “I should go, check on Cody.” Dean said, he moved forward to kiss Roman but Roman turned his face away and shook his head no. “Roman, come on, don’t be mad at me, it’s not like you can't force me to meet your family.” Dean was getting frustrated.

“No I can’t. I just thought you would  _ want _ to meet them especially if you're apart of my life. But, I guess I'm only temporary. Until you “figure” shit out right?” Roman scoffed, “I can't believe this.” 

“You're mad because I want to try to figure out my sexuality?”  Dean wasn’t understanding Roman's displaced aggression. 

“No, I'm mad because it seems like the only part of me you really love, is the sex part.” Roman spat back. 

“Roman! That is so fucking ridiculous of course I love you! Everything about you! How could you say that to me?” Dean tried to defend himself.

“I don't believe you.” Roman shook his head, “I don't think you actually love me. You  _ don't _ want to come out, that's fine you deserve to do it in your own time, but you don't want to be seen with me in public and you don't even want to meet my family. All you ever want and all you ever wanted from the beginning was my dick.” Dean watched Roman smile to cover up the tears beginning to form in his eyes, “I can't believe I didn't see it until now.” 

“That's not true, Roman, I do love you. I care about you. Only you… ” Dean was stumbling over his words.

What was the right thing to say?

“Yeah? Then when are you finally gonna fucking prove it?” Roman shook his head, “Just get out, Dean. Go back to your stupid frat, and leave me alone.” 

“Roman-” Dean tried again.

“I said, get out.” Roman stated emphatically. “Now.” 

Dean couldn't say anything else because Roman opened the door for him, waiting for Dean to go. He handed him his laptop bag then slammed the door right in Dean’s face, leaving Dean confused, sad and angry.

* * *

 

Dean found himself upset in each step he took back to the frat. Who the fuck did Roman think he was? To say that Dean didn't care about him was so fucking silly…  _ right? _ The redhead’s feet hit the wet grass and he began to think about it. 

He wasn’t out, yes, and the only time they went out in public was somewhere the frat couldn't find Dean and he just  _ stupidly _ told the best person in his life that he didn’t want to meet his fucking family. Dean slapped his forehead the more he thought about it. 

Roman had been so patient with him since the night they met. He never tried to force Dean to come out and even took him to private places so they could be out in public together. He said he loved him despite all his hang ups on love and wanted Dean to meet his family because he felt like Dean was important in his life.

_ “You fucking idiot!”  _ Dean said to himself as he walked up the stairs to the fraternity. He was so scared that he wouldn’t live up to Finn’s legacy that he might’ve just ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. He opened the door to the frat and yelled out for Cody, but his friend didn’t answer. Dean walked up the stairs to Cody's room just to check on him, while taking his phone out, to try to figure out how to send Roman an “I'm sorry” text. 

Dean had  _ absolutely _ no idea what he was about to walk into. 

“Hey Cody, I think I just fucked up with Roman are you ok- OH MY GOD!” 

Dean yelled out loud, his phone dropped right out of his hand and he was pretty sure his heart absolutely stopped as his blue eyes took in the horrific the scene in front of him. Cody was on all fours, kind of like Dean had been a few hours prior, in his bed, except unlike Dean when he was with Roman, Cody seemed to be in absolute pain, no sign of pleasure in sight written all over his face as… 

AS…

“DAD?”  Dean screamed out at the top of his lungs. His father, the man who raised him in a way where he saw homosexuality as a sin, a disease of the mind that affects certain men, or corrupts as he used to spew. His fucking father, the one who told Dean at 13 that he hoped he didn’t grow up to be a ‘fucking faggot’ cause he'd disown him. His GODDAMN father, Richard Ambrose, the fucking hypocrite was currently fucking one of his best friends. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” His voice didn't seem to have any other level except, high, shock, and disbelief. 

Richard Ambrose looked right at his son, then pulled harshly out of Cody, who whimpered and fell against the blanket, curling up into a ball, crying softly. He watched as his dad shamefully put on his boxers, tripping into them sloppily then began to walk over to Dean.

“Son… look this isn't what it looks like…”

“Really?” Dean practically shrieked he looked back his father, then at Cody who was crying on the bed, “THEN WHAT IS IT DAD? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?”

“Dean, please,” His father was caught, and helpless. He never should’ve came to the frat, but Cody wasn’t answering his calls or texts and Richard couldn’t fucking help himself. Fuck. He was fucked. “We were just.. fooling around.” He tried to play it off, but his son knew better. 

“Fooling around? Are you fucking kidding me? Look at Cody!” Dean yelled at him, “He looks so…” Dean couldn't describe it, “You were raping him!” Dean said it in utter disbelief. 

“Rape?” Richard laughed nervously right in his face, “He's 20, and he wanted it. Right Cody? Tell Dean how much you love it when we fool around.” 

“I loved it,” Cody sobbed softly, unable to make it believable. 

“Cody!” Dean tried to go over to him but his dad stepped in his path, making it impossible. “Move, Dad, now or I swear…” 

“You swear what boy?” His thick texan accent that haunted Dean since he was young was out in full force, as he stared into his cold blue eyes. “Listen to me carefully Dean, because what imma say ain't gonna be for the faint of heart and if you know what's good for you, you'll shut your  _ fucking _ mouth and listen carefully.” Dean swallowed harshly, his challenging eyes cowering under the gaze of his father, “I ain't no faggot, first off. Cody seduced me, one night and I… couldn't help myself. He is a little queer that god is gonna be ashamed of, I am Christian, a man, and my soul is free of this sin after today. I swear on it. I just needed to get him out of my system.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dean never cursed at his father before but something came over him tonight. He didn't know if it was his father’s lame ass excuse, the fact that he was mad at himself for hurting Roman or the 19 years of build up anger but Dean wasn’t going to let this continue any longer. “Look at him!” he pointed to Cody, “That doesn’t scream I  _ seduced _ this man that screams this man is hurting me. How fucking long dad? How fucking long have you been raping Cody? 15? 16? 17? 18?” 

“I didn’t touch him until he turned 17.” Dean’s father looked at him like admitting that was so sort of get out of jail free card. “I swear Dean.. please..” 

“You're a fucking disgusting hypocrite. You've been hurting him this entire time yet preaching to me about how lying with another man is a sin. I believed you. For 19 years, I lied to myself for you. You were the golden standard of what it meant to be perfect to me,” Dean’s blues were full of tears as he continued, “I sheltered everything I ever felt, for you and here you are! Nothing more than what you hate the most. You're fucking gay.” 

“I AM NOT GAY!” Richard shouted in Dean’s face, his own red from embarrassment, “This is a  _ sickness, _ it's a  _ disease, _ it's not a way of life. I love your momma and I love you and your sister. I just get urges. I sleep with Cody and then they go away,  _ they go away." _

“Being gay doesn't go away, and hurting a young boy because you have  _ urges _ is the worst thing you ever said to me. I'm going to the police and you're gonna get locked up for a very long time and I hope you rot in there, you son of a bitch.” For the first time in Dean’s life, he actually put his hands on his dad. He cocked his fist back and punched him so hard Richard fell back on the floor. 

Dean ran to go over to Cody, who was lying naked, crying on the bed. Dean picked him up in his arms and quickly carried him out to his room, locking it behind him so his father couldn’t get in. He placed Cody underneath his covers then exhaled heavily, running his fingers through his red locks as he tried to figure out what to do next.

**BANG!**

Richard was back up, banging on Dean’s door.

**BANG!**

He banged again, this time harder. 

“GO AWAY DAD OR I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE! I SWEAR!” 

“Dean please, just promise me you won't tell your momma. Promise me and I swear I'll leave to Texas right now and never come back again.” 

Dean shook his head, his face so flushed from the tears and sadness he felt right now. He didn't know what to do. All he knew was he couldn’t let him hurt Cody ever again. 

“Lie,” a whisper came from his bed, making Dean’s head turn so he could look at Cody. “Tell him what he wants to hear so he can go away.  _ Please make him go away." _ Cody pleaded with Dean to lie, and give in but Dean didn't know if that's what truly needed to happen. If he let him go now, he'd flee and escape charges. He didn't want that for Cody… he deserved better.

“If you leave right now and  _ never _ come back, I won't tell mom.” the conviction in his lie had Dean hearing his father's footsteps fade. He put his ear to the door and listened as he heard clothes being ruffled and feet moving. 

“Dean.. I'm sorry.”  he heard his father say, right before his footsteps faded away and the front door was slammed behind him. 

When it was for sure that he was gone, Dean wiped his tears and slowly came over to the bed. It dipped as he got in, and held Cody closely. Cody jerked at his touch but soon calmed himself, his loud sobs now quieter as he laid down on the pillow next to Dean. “Cody,” Dean choked up, “I'm sorry, I would've never invited you over if I knew, I didn’t know, I swear I didn’t know.” 

“No one knew,” Cody responded sadly. “It's not your fault. I admired him and he used it to hurt me. He used to make me say that he owned me during it. It hurt so much, Dean. He hurt so much. I don't even know who I am anymore.” 

Dean let Cody sob on him and as he did, Dean could feel all the pain Cody had kept in since he was 17. He had no idea what to do next. The only thing he was sure of was from this point on, everything in his life was about to change.

* * *

 

**One week later**

“What’s that… face.” Seth asked Roman while he finished up writing his final script for his thesis. They were in study hall, in the back where it was quiet. Seth had finished up with his essay a while ago and ever since he's been text fighting with Hunter and watching Roman make a face. He didn’t even know if Roman was aware of it, but yet he kept doing it. He would squint his eyes as though he heard something absolutely ridiculous, possibly in his head then he would kind of shake his head, and keep going. 

It was freaking Seth out.

“What face? I'm not doing a face.” Roman challenged him.

“Yes you are, it’s kind of like this,” Seth mimicked the face Roman was making and of course it made Roman laugh but at the same time, frown. “Are you okay? You've been upset all week, and I did notice that Dean hasn’t come over to play who's  _ dick is it anyway _ this week. So what happened? Did you two lovebirds fight?” 

Roman stopped typing on his keyboard and he sighed, quite heavily.  His pencil in his hand went in his bun on top of his head and he looked down. “We got into a fight last weekend.” He confessed, “I asked him to come with me over break to meet my family and he said no. Then I don't really know what came over me. I started to tell him that I felt like this was more a sexual relationship than us in love. I do love him,” Roman exhaled, “But he doesn't want to be out yet and even though that's fine, I don't know if I can keep going with a boy who doesn’t even want to meet my family or be apart of my life other than sex.”

“Hmm,” Seth nodded while listening, “I get it and I totally understand. Romie, you deserve someone who at least wants to be apart of you in some way. You're more than just a great body. I never liked Dean and I probably never will but I am so proud of you for taking a stand. It's been months, he either wants everything or wants nothing. Right?” 

“Right.” Roman found a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. He missed Dean a lot, and hasn't heard or seen him all week besides an  _ "I'm sorry, will explain later.” _ text yesterday. Maybe this was it for them? Maybe, the explaining Dean needed was just to tell Roman that it was over? 

Maybe it never truly began?

Seth was about to come over and comfort his best friend but he had received a text not a minute later from his man. “Oh, it looks like Hunter finally wants me to come over. He's wife free all weekend.” Seth smiled happily and stood up, beginning to pack all of his books into his satchel. “Do you need me to stay?” he asked Roman, “Cause you know you're the only man I'd ever blow Hunter off for.” 

“No, don't be ridiculous,” Roman waved his hands at him, “I still have tons of work to do anyway so you go. Have fun for the both of us.” 

His best friend clapped his hands excitedly then came over and kissed Roman on the cheek. He whispered to him to be good and Roman pretended to laugh and smile, letting it fade as soon as Seth walked away. When he was gone, Roman absolutely sighed, and decided that maybe it was too quiet now.  He got up and decided to go back home to try to finish up. He grabbed all of his things and walked out of the study hall, his nose capturing the scent of the night as he exited. Roman breathed it in then started to walk down the dimly lit dorm path by himself, only to be bumped by someone. 

“Hey watch where you're going fag,” A jock guy said once he and Roman collided. 

“Why don't you watch where  _ you're _ going you asshole!” Roman fired back, while picking up his bag off the ground.

“What the fuck did you just say?” The guy came closer to him, and Roman stood his ground, ready for whatever came next, but before either of them could do anything….

“Gentleman.” A southern accent interrupted both men who were now looking forward to see Professor AJ Styles walking up the path. “Is there a problem here?” 

“No, just tell queerbait to keep his hands to himself and we're good.” Jock asshole stated surely.

“Please,” Roman scoffed, “I wouldn't touch or fuck you with your own sisters dildo meathead. Next time just watch where you're going!” 

“Whatever.” The boy flipped them both off then headed on his way. Roman rolled his eyes, laughing at the ridiculousness that just happened. He began walking away, but of course AJ followed him, catching up so they could walk side by side. 

“Where are you headed?” AJ asked.

“Home,” Roman said, holding back a yawn. “I have so much work to do and not enough time and I'm just under a lot of stress so I don't need any AJ Styles bs tonight okay?” 

“I wasn't going to give bs, I swear I had no idea you were even there. I was going to study hall to meet with Mrs Steinbeck. I just happened to run into you.” 

“Great go meet her then.” Roman was unfriendly in his mannerisms and tone. “Bye AJ.”

“Roman…” Aj pulled on Roman's arm, stopping him from walking off again. “Look, I know I messed up back then. You were a confused kid and I was a man who took advantage of that. But you gotta give me a chance to right my wrong. I want to do right by you this time. I want to love you right this time.” Once again AJ was moving in his space, confusing Roman with his tight little body and that sweeter than a Georgia peach accent. He held both of his arms in his hands and squeezed softly, making Roman less uncomfortable than he should’ve been. “Let me take you out, on a date in public. I wanna show you how much you mean to me.” 

Roman lost his breath for a second and then shook his head, “I have a… um..” he began to say.

“A boyfriend?” Aj asked back and Roman simply nodded. “We both know that kid will never satisfy you the way I can. I was always the best you ever had right?” Roman looked down, trying not to look into his blue eyes as he nodded for him again. AJ always did this. He's been doing this since they met, for whatever reason it seemed like AJ had this effect on him. He would let Roman in, make him believe he cared and then toss him to the side like he was nothing in the end. But, there was something Roman would never get over. Aj was his first everything and that meant something to him.  “You don't have to answer now, just think about it. Why be with a boy who will never give you the love and care you desire when you can be with a  _ man _ , who can do that for you and so much more.”

AJ kissed him on the cheek softly then walked back in the other direction, leaving Roman more helpless than he's ever felt before.

* * *

 

Roman got back home late and as soon as he turned the corner he saw Dean, sitting on the floor by his dorm, sleeping. Roman smiled softly at his sleeping figure. To think last week they were arguing over extremely valid things and yet the moment Roman saw him, his eyes lit up and he felt extremely happy. He knew he loved Dean, that was for sure, Roman just didn’t know if Dean was really ready for a serious relationship like this so soon. He was young and he deserved to find himself at his own pace, but Roman was a bit ahead in years and confidence and it wasn't fair to himself or Dean to drag out a relationship that had no foundation.

Roman opened the door to his room, put his stuff down then came back out to get Dean. He picked him up off the ground and carried him inside. He took off Dean’s shoes then laid him down in his bed, pulling his blankets over him, then began undressing into his night clothes. 

Dean stirred after a while, opening one of his eyes to see Roman half naked, rifling through his drawer. Dean yawned, and sat up, hands brushing through his short red hair as he watched Roman. There was something about watching him pick out clothes to wear to bed in that seemed so domestic. He woke up in his bed, after waiting for him for over three hours and Dean realized he didn’t ever want to wake up, and not see him there or know that he wasn’t just a phone call away.

Dean got up, and walked over to him, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around that thick frame, circling his waist. Roman smiled, even though Dean could tell he wasn't exactly happy to see him. He turned his head and they shared a quick kiss before brown eyes stared sadly into blue. This was it, it was either sink or swim for Dean and he couldn't live with knowing he lost Roman. 

He had to tell him everything. 

“When you asked me to meet your family and I said that it was too big a step I lied,” Dean confessed, pulling away from Roman to sit back down on his bed. “I want to meet them. I wanna meet your mom and your dad and your cousins, anyone. I'm just so scared Roman.”

Roman didn't understand, “Scared of what Dean? My parents aren't judgemental.” 

“Not of that,” Dean sighed, “I'm scared that I'll never live up to  _ him." _ by the look in Roman's brown eyes Dean could tell automatically that he knew who ‘he’ was. “From the moment we met, I've been scared. First I was scared of kissing you then I was scared of how you made me feel and now I'm scared that I'll never be able to cast myself out of Finn’s shadow. You were with him for six years and you've told me that your parents absolutely love him. How can I compete with that? I'm just a gay, republican whose life is more shit than I ever realized and he's a god.” 

Roman rolled his eyes at Dean and laughed, coming over to the bed to sit next to him. “Did it ever occur to you that I don't  _ want _ you to compete with Finn?” When Roman asked it Dean just blushed and shook his head, “Exactly. I broke up with Finn. Because even though he has  _ zero _ percent body fat and can take dick like no other, he's a loser who never deserved me. You,” Roman brushed some hair out of his face, making Dean smile, “You're so much more than you think so are. Republican is a political party it's not a way of life. You are so amazing and you've come a long way, too long to let that define you anymore. Hell, you even said you're gay twice. That’s growth.” 

Dean shyly looked down at his jeans, and nodded softly,  _ “I am gay.” _ Dean said, his voice soft, and eyes slowly meeting Roman's. They were watery and his face was getting red, but Roman could tell they were tears of joy. “I'm so gay, and I love you. I want you to know I love you and I want to meet your family and I want to be with you. I don't care if we stop having sex for months. I just want to be yours. For good.” 

Roman smiled at him and immediately pulled him in for some seriously sweet kisses. Dean cried into each kiss, wrapping his arms around Roman tightly. Roman pulled him into his arms and lead him back down to the bed, spreading Dean's legs so he could fit between them. The smack of their lips was the only thing you could hear in the room as they began a heavy duty make out session. Dean’s hands went straight to Roman’s ass, squeezing it in his hands while their tongues met in unhurried soft kisses. Dean felt his dick close to Roman’s and when he pressed it against him he couldn't help but moan. Roman smiled against his lips, ready to kiss him again but Dean stopped him for just a second. 

“Before we get too hot and heavy I um, I want you to know that I found out something after I left you the other night, about Cody and my dad…” Dean shook his head, “I don't even know how to begin to tell you what happened, or what’s going to happen next because it is Cody's story to tell not mine, but I can say that my father is the monster he made himself out to be my entire life only worse. And I'm no longer afraid of him. I don't know how but… I'm gonna take him down Roman, and he's gonna pay for everything he did to Cody, my mom, Becky and me. Once and for all.” 

“Dean…” Roman never saw him like this before. There was fire in his eyes, blazing a dark criminal blue that kind of frightened Roman. “What are you going to do?” 

“I already began,” Dean smiled, “If I'm going to face him he needs to know the real me. So I sent him something that shows him exactly who I really am.” Dean kissed Roman softly, teasing his lips to make him smile.

“What did you send him?” Roman asked curiously. 

“You'll see.” 

* * *

 

In another state, in the den of his father’s mansion, Richard Ambrose found a box from Dean that came in the mail today. His wife gave it to him, happily telling him that it was from his son. Richard faked a smile at his lovely wife, pretending that he was so ecstatic about it but in reality he was scared shitless. His own son had him by the proverbial balls and Richard still didn’t have a plan on his next move yet. Richard brought the box to his den and then sat it in front of him. He tapped on it nervously before grabbing his box cutter, prying it open. In the box, was what looked like a photo album and a letter. Richard grabbed the letter first, and began to read. 

 

_ Dear dad,  _

_ Remember in ninth grade when I hacked the internet firewall late at night and you caught me jerking off to that gay porn and I had belt marks on my wrists for weeks after you tied me to the bed and forced me to read scripture? Well, this photo album is probably way worse than that. I just wanted to you finally see the real me before I tell mom everything and you  _ **_lose_ ** _ everything that makes you the man you are. Just like you did to Cody.  _

_ \- Dean. _

Richard grabbed the photo album, his eyes wild with anger and he opened it and saw… his son, kissing another man. His son, in bed with the same man. His son all over this man, holding him, watching the sunrise with him, even Dean in a dorm room, wrapped in his arms. Richard flipped through each page, his heart pounding and ice in his veins as he read each caption.

**Me and Roman at the beach.**

**Me and Roman in bed.**

**Me and Roman at Nicole's.**

**Me and Roman.**

**Me and Roman..**

**Me and…**

“You are so dead boy,” Richard spat out violently.  “So fucking dead.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our little Dean has come so very far, but who wins the war? Dean or Richard? 
> 
> Also Roman/AJ let it happen or hell to the no? - Melle.


	17. A Good Christian Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses._

Dean didn't want to leave Cody.

His best friend was in unimaginable pain, since he was 17 years old and Dean couldn't physically do anything about it. Cody took to sleeping in bed with him every night now, and sometimes he'd wake up, crying out for Dean and all Dean could do was hold him until Cody fell asleep again. He remembered the conversation they had last week, when Cody _finally_ opened up and told Dean everything.

He was horrified, to find out how this relationship began in his kitchen, and hasn't stopped for years until now.

_“No one was home that day, I was in the kitchen waiting for you and Jack to come home from the comic book store. He smiled at me, told me I was really cute for a young boy, then asked me if I thought he was cute as well. I didn't know what to say back, I told him I didn't know and the next thing I felt was his lips on my neck. I pushed him away quickly but, he told me not to fight him, that it was no use. He forced kisses on me, then pushed me up against your fridge, and… that was the first time he raped me. Right in your kitchen.”_

Dean shuddered just thinking about it. Cody was a kid, who his father used, and abused and he probably wasn’t the only one. He remembered the look on Cody's face as he recalled more times with his monster of a father.

_“For a while, I started to enjoy it,” Cody admitted, “I never had sex before so when he would do it I thought this is how it always is, sex, it's rough, and meaningless. He never kissed me during or after, and afterwards he'd give me all this money, and tell me he'd see me soon. I was so ashamed when I started getting hard when he fucked me. I thought that there had to be something wrong with me. There just had to be if I enjoyed him abusing me. It happened for so many years I thought, i'd die with the secret, that he owned me, and no one would ever know.”_

He sat back on his bed, thinking about how sad and ashamed Cody felt. He thought he had no one, and for awhile he didn’t. Cody didn’t tell anyone cause he was scared of Richard and what he'd do if he did. He felt so alone for years, but Dean was going to change that somehow. All he wished for now, was Cody's cooperation. He wanted to take down his Dad and go to the police right then and there, but Cody begged him not too.

_“Please, Dean. Don't!” Cody begged him, “There's not enough evidence, he owns half of Texas and we both know that he'd get off. It's literally my word against his. Even with what you saw, he could lie and say it was consensual. He's been living this lie his whole life and a court of law isn't going to stop him from keeping it that way. Promise me you won't say anything.” Cody pleaded with Dean._

_“I promise.” Dean agreed._

He hated agreeing to keeping this a secret. Dean wanted to shout it out from the rooftops but he couldn't. Not without Cody's permission. He could tell his mom but who would she believe? He was in between a rock and a hard place and Dean didn't know how to get out of it.

There was a knock on his door, getting Dean out of his head. He told the person to come in, and in walked Cody, with a somber smile. He came over to the bed, and straddled across Dean to lay on the other side.

“So, how did it go?” Dean asked softly, “Did you like it?”

“I didn’t say a word,” Cody admitted sadly, “I'm not ready to tell this story yet Dean. It's scary to even admit that what was happening to me was rape. I don't think I'll ever be ready to speak there… but, I do like the place. You were right, it's way off campus, and no one will notice me there. Thank you for finding it. Oddly enough, even though I didn't speak there was no pressure from anyone there.”

“That’s okay that you’re not ready to talk Codes, it's more about being around people like you, to show you're not alone. I'm glad you like it.” Dean touched Cody's thigh softly then got up to finally finish packing. “You can thank Roman, he was the one who actually found it. He thought it'd be good for you to be around other survivors.”

“Roman... right.” Cody sighed, “So you told him then?”

“I promise I didn’t tell him everything,” Dean stopped packing to look at Cody, “Only what you wanted me too. I just don't want to keep secrets from him. I love him ya know? Our relationship is built on trust, and I promise he won't say anything to anyone.”

“I trust you Dean,” Cody admitted easily, “And I'm okay with Roman knowing. I just don't want him to look at me like some charity case because of it.”

“Please, Roman isn't like that, he's super sweet. A real kind guy with a great heart and-”

“And a nice big dick,” Dean and Cody were both interrupted by Jack walking into Dean’s room like he owned the place. “At least that’s what Dean tells me.” Cody looked at Jack oddly as Jack got in Dean’s bed, and curled up next to a shocked Cody. “Relax, I've known about Dean liking boys for months now, he told me after Roman broke up with him the first time.”

“What?” an angered Cody looked over at Dean, “You told Jack before me!?”

“Not fair okay, Jack practically forced it out of me.” Dean lied easily, “Well not really forced, just you know… I was upset and hung up on Roman and Jack noticed, so I told him everything. I didn't mean to keep it from you Cody I promise, I was waiting for a good time to tell you and judging from your reaction when you saw me and Roman in bed I did right in waiting.”

“Oh no fucking way!” Jack laughed, “You saw them fucking?”

“Yeah,” Cody actually found a smile, “He snuck Roman in when he was on guard duty.”

“Oh my god, Dean! You little minx, what position were they in?”

“Doggy style.”

“Is Dean pitcher or catcher?”

“Catcher, and a slutty one too!”

“OKAY!” Dean slammed his suitcase down and rolled his eyes at his best friends. “That’s enough of tell Dean’s personal business time!”  Dean said, looking at Cody sternly. “I have to go.”

“Where you going stud?” Jack asked, laughing. “Texas for break again?”

“Um, no,” Dean looked down, “I don't think I can face my family right now. I'm going with Roman, to Pensacola to meet his family.” Dean grabbed his heavy suitcase and then rolled it over to the door.

“Wait… dude of course going with Roman sounds awesome and all but, why can't you face your family right now?” Jack looked at Dean who put his head down, so their eyes couldn’t meet, then he looked at Cody who also looked away. “Okay what the fuck is going on?” Jack was confused, “What am I missing?”

“I have to go, Roman is waiting. Cody, maybe you should fill Jack in on _everything_ while I'm gone.” Dean leaned down and kissed Cody's forehead then gave Jack a hug, while whispering to Cody to _"Tell him, he's our friend.”_ Cody gave off a reluctant expression but Dean knew he'd do the right thing. He told them both goodbye then headed out, and once he left, Jack laid down next to Cody, looking softly into his blue eyes.

“So… what should I know?”

* * *

 

Dean was a little more than nervous as he headed towards the back of Newman hall where Roman was. He rented a car so that they could drive down to Pensacola together. He had been with Roman alone many times over since Seth was always with his rich older sugar daddy, but Dean was so much more scared than he's ever been. He was going to meet Roman’s family, they were no doubt going to judge him, and maybe even compare him to Finn, and Dean kept trying to mentally prepare himself for that. He wheeled his bag into the parking lot and saw his gorgeous man, waiting for him by the car with his ray bans on.

_Oh how he made everything better._

Dean kept thinking that as he came over to his boyfriend and smiled at him. “Hey good lookin, waiting for me?” Dean asked and as soon as he was front and center there was a wide smile found on Roman's face. He lifted his glasses up and pulled Dean in, forcing him to release his suitcase as they began to kiss quite heavily near the car. _He was so fucking unfair._ Dean thought as Roman pressed him against the Land Rover and took a healthy squeeze of Dean's newly found apple bottom. _Thank you squats._ Dean silently thought as he felt Roman's finger misbehaving, finding it's way towards his ripe rosebud. “Roman, you're so crazy,” Dean whispered breathlessly against him.

He knew that they probably weren't going to be able to have sex this entire weekend and he also knew that Dean loved ass play a little too much. It was so unfair of him to turn Dean on the way he was now, knowing that he couldn't have him again for the next three days. “I can't keep my hands off of you,” Roman admitted in a whisper, slowly pulling out of Dean's shorts, with a mischievous smile. “Thank god we're sleeping in the same room because I don't think I'd be able to stay away from you for another three whole days.” Roman said as he pulled away and took Dean’s bag, so he could put it in his trunk.

“Roman don't be silly, I'm not fucking you in your parents house.” Dean laughed and opened the passenger's side door, and got in. Roman finished up packing in the bags then he slammed the trunk and came over to get in the driver's seat.

“You act like it's some sacred place or something that I never brought boys home before.” Roman started up the engine, “I've had sex all over that house, 90 percent of which my parents don't know about.”

“Well that may be all good and dandy for young Roman, but it isn't for me. I'm a Christian, and that doesn't just go away just because I love you,” Dean saw Roman smile at him, “I was raised to treat another person's home with respect, and I intend to keep it that way. I hope that's okay baby.”

“That's more than okay.” Roman agreed, “Don't worry, I'm okay with whatever makes you comfortable.” Dean smiled at his willingness to care right off the bat. He had to admit it was a very sexy trait in him. _Stop thinking about sex._ Dean chastised himself as Roman turned the key, and gave Dean a small kiss before they took off towards Roman’s childhood home.

* * *

 

They laughed together in the car, sang silly love songs off key, and did really bad highway trivia to make the hours to Pensacola seem like minutes. The trip wasn’t bad, Dean kept stealing Roman’s glasses, and taking pics of him every chance he got. The worst part of the trip had to be when they stopped for some junk food. Roman decided to fill up the tank so he wouldn't run out, and through the mirror Dean could see his fucking muscles, triceps and biceps, all bulging in his tank top as he filled the car up.

 _I want him to fill me up._ There goes those bad thoughts again. Dean sighed, he really didn’t know why but the closer they got to his parents house, the more Dean wanted Roman to fuck him in it. It was so weird, since he's never been the adventurous in sex type until he met Roman. Now, he didn’t mind Roman feeling him up in Newman Hall’s laundry room while he helped Roman separate colors and whites and he definitely didn’t mind a good shower fuck, pressed right up against the glass stalls, at 6 in the morning. _Oh god._ Dean had to shake this. No fucking way was he going to fuck his boyfriend in his parents house.

_No fucking way._

Roman got back in the car and started the engine once more. He looked over at Dean, who was staring at him needlessly, with a red vine hanging outside his mouth. Roman giggled at him, and ate the other end of the vine, pulling it softly to get Dean’s attention. “You okay beautiful?” Roman asked him, while chewing.

His lips met Dean’s and of course they kissed softly, making Dean smile wide. _I wanna fuck you so bad._ Dean thought to himself. “I'm great baby. I promise.” Dean held Roman’s lips close to his own, stealing a few more kisses from that sweet mouth before Roman pulled back, and smirked. _Three days. I can do that._ Dean told himself as Roman took off once again.

* * *

 

Another hour later, Dean’s eyes opened as he felt the car beginning to slow down. His blues came upon Roman parking. The red head rubbed his tired eyes and saw a nice big house in front of him. Of course it wasn't as big as the mansion he lived in, but it was big enough for kids to run around in the yard and have barbecues in the back. Roman got out first, and took all the bags and put em on the front porch. Dean opened his own door afterwards and then stepped out, and began to walk over to his boyfriend.

“This house is so nice.” Dean said as he grabbed his suitcase.

“Yeah, it's modest, you know it's nothing like a mansion, but it's home.” Roman teased Dean as they walked up the porch together and he knocked on the door.

“Roman, I'm so nervous.” Dean whispered to him. “What if they don't like me?”

“Just be you, and I promise they will love you.” Roman kissed his cheek at the same time the door opened. Dean pulled away from him when he saw a tall woman open the door and smile at the both of them.

“ROMAN!” His mom, grabbed hold of Roman quickly, and began to hug the life out of him. Dean thought it was so cute how Roman and his mom seemed like old friends instead of family. She kissed all over his face, and asked him when he was going to shave, embarrassing her son right in front of Dean. Roman finally pulled away after lipstick marred his face, and he exhaled heavily. “And you must be Dean!” She said, reaching over to give Dean a big hug. “Roman has told us so much about you, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you too Mrs Reigns.” Dean said back politely.

“Well, aren't you a sweetheart?” Roman’s mom seemed impressed, “Why don't you two come on in and get comfortable.”

They both came in and immediately Dean took in the decor. It was actually so sleek, stylish, and modern. He was impressed. Roman put their bags down by the door, and once they came into the living room, Dean’s blue eyes came across the _wall_ of Roman’s accomplishments. The republican was in awe as he went over to look at them. It’s so funny how Roman literally has been _beautiful_ his entire life. He was a cute kid, and an even cuter teen and now a fucking handsome man. His one ugly stage was when his mom cut off all his hair but even then, he was still cute as a button. Roman came up behind him to give Dean a kiss but Dean quickly pulled away, “Ro! Not in front of your Mother!” Dean whispered to him, making Roman laugh.

“Stop acting like they don't know we’re together. They know you're my boyfriend,” Roman whispered back.

“I know but-” Dean didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because in walked Roman's mother again, making her way back into the living room with the boys.

“So boys the upstairs is all ready for you, Dean you'll sleep in Roman's old room, and Roman you'll sleep in your brother's old room.”

“What?” Roman shook his head, “No mom, Dean is sleeping in my room with me. We're adults now you know!”

“Roman, I don't care if you're adults, or kids. The only people sleeping in the same bed in _my_ house are married couples. Now, show Dean your room, then come out to the back yard when you’re ready. Your cousins are here too, and grandma. She's excited to see you.”

“Fine,” Roman grumbled, grabbing his bags with a pout. Dean laughed as he followed along up the stairs, to the room at the end of the hall, it had a big R on it, so Dean guessed it was Roman’s. He followed him in, and that’s when he saw all the posters on the wall, of models, and of men. Roman must've known he was gay for a long time because nothing in his room screamed ‘in the closet’. He sat on Roman's bed, and saw a picture frame that was turned away on the nightstand.  Dean smiled while picking it up, but then automatically frowned when he saw who it was..

Him and Finn, by the beach, kissing.

Dean tried not to be jealous as he placed the frame back down and sighed, looking down towards his feet for comfort. _Fucking Finn Balor._ He thought to himself. He was still... _everywhere._ Even though he was out of Roman’s life.  Roman put their bags in his closet, then turned around to see Dean looking defeated. He automatically knew, Dean saw the frame. Roman grabbed it off his desk, then sat directly next to Dean, who couldn’t manage to look back at him.

“My friend Patty took this picture,” Roman spoke soft, “I went all the way to the convenience store that same day just to get it developed, framed and blown up. I thought we would literally last forever. A week later, I found him in bed with Sami.” Roman opened up the frame, took the picture out and crumbled it up in front of Dean. He saw his blue eyes light up as he ripped the picture in half, then tossed it in his trash pail. “I think it's time for some new memories. Don't you?”

Roman took Dean by the hand, and pulled him up off the bed. Dean couldn’t stop smiling at his boyfriend as he wrapped his arms around him and Roman’s circled his slender waist.

“I love you,” Dean told Roman softly.

“I love it when you say that, and I love you too.” Roman didn't waste time in giving him a kiss. He knew Dean would try to pull away again but Roman wouldn't let him. He held his body close and let his tongue do the talking, making Dean putty in his arms. Roman’s hands moved down his back, towards his ass, where he squeezed it, like he owned it, making Dean moan softly in his mouth, “Still don't want me to fuck you while we're here?” Roman asked in between kisses.

“You're so bad.” Dean pulled away from him and immediately saw Roman's dick print against his jeans. His tongue softly swirled around his wet, kiss swollen lips as he thought about having him right there and now. “You're not fucking me in your parents house. No matter how much… I really want to fuck you too.” Dean gave him a kiss, then headed out of the room.

“Goddammit,” Roman said, pressing his erection into his body, “He's driving me crazy.”

* * *

 

Roman caught up with Dean on the stairs, giving him a soft, warm kiss before he took his hand and lead him towards the backyard. As soon as they came outside, Roman was greeted, no, shouted at loudly by his family. Dean didn't realize how big of a family Roman actually had until he saw a yard full of them in his blue eyes, waving at him and Roman happily. He thought Roman would let his hand go to greet his relatives, but it was the opposite. He held on, bringing Dean with him as he walked over to the table.

“Hey guys!” Roman said to everyone, “I want you to meet my boyfriend, Dean.” Roman brought Dean closer, and for a split second, Dean thought that he was going to hear a parade of insults, or pre conceived judgements, instead, he was met with the… unexpected.

“Hello dear,” one of the older women, presumably Roman’s grandma to Dean, “It's so nice to meet you."

“The pleasure is all mine ma’am.” Dean said back, his texan accent thick, delighting Roman and the entire crew.

“Yo Uce, you and Dean can come sit next to us.” Dean didn't remember every single person in Roman's family, mostly because he had a lot, like seriously a lot, but the two boys Roman talked about the most was his cousins, Jimmy and Jey. Dean could recognize them from the pictures Roman had around his dorm. Also, Roman talked about them all the time. He said they were more like brothers than cousins. Dean followed Roman to the end of the table, and he sat right next to him, across from the twins and Jimmy's wife.

“Sup Uce?” One of the twins said to Roman, who was grabbing two cups for him and Dean. “When your mom said you were bringing home someone new, we thought two things…”

“Oh god,” Roman laughed, “Here they go,” he whispered to Dean.

“One, we fully expected a Finn lookalike, so we're glad that didn’t happen.” Dean actually laughed when they said that. Roman was right they were funny as hell.  “... and we sure as hell didn't expect Dean to be so…”

“So what?” Roman said, handing Dean a drink.

“So, adorable.” Dean immediately smiled when one of the twins called him adorable. “Ooh look, he has dimples too, we can see why Roman likes you. He always falls for the guys with the cute faces and pouty pink lips.”

“Oh my god,” Dean was blushing hard, trying not to look them in the face so they couldn't see how flushed he was. “I am so not… adorable.” Dean spoke softly, hiding in Roman's shirt.

“Dean here struggles with self confidence sometimes, Jimmy,” Roman spoke up, while looking down at Dean. “He sometimes doesn’t realize that he's fucking hot as hell.”

“Roman!” Dean laughed, pushing him softly. “Don't call me hot in front of your family!”

“Why not Uce? He's not wrong, you're not a bad looking dude.”

Dean had no response to that, “I…” He tried to say.

“Look, you just gotta own your shit ya know? Say, this is me, and I love myself and can't nobody tell you different. You're _you_ from day one, you grow, and you learn as long as you stay true to yourself then, that's that day oneish. Ya feel?” Jey slapped Dean's shoulder, and it made Dean smile wide at both of them. Roman was right, they were really sweet guys with kind hearts. They just met Dean and still wanted him to feel confident and welcome. Dean was already loving Roman’s family.

“Alright, enough of that sappy crap. We came here to eat good and have fun. And since we already eatin’ good, let's have some fun. Deano, my man, do you know how to play Sorry?” Jey asked Dean.

“Uh, no, my parents weren't big on board games… they taught me poker though.” Dean replied apologetically.

“Don’t worry Uce, we can play that after. For now, let's teach you Sorry.”

Dean looked at Roman and smiled, “Okay, let's teach me sorry!” Dean said confidently.

* * *

 

Dean spent an hour playing Sorry with Jimmy and Jey. He was having so much fun with them he didn’t notice Roman leave or Jimmy so they could talk about films or whatever. Jimmy was also a film major, apparently it ran in the family. After another ten minutes of playing Sorry with Jey and Jimmy's wife, she exited and they put Sorry away and replaced it with Poker, which Dean was actually exceptional at. He kept beating Jey in Texas hold em but the game was friendly. Dean and him were having a nice conversation while Dean dealt a new hand, and that's when Jey brought up a  certain question that before made Dean confused.

“So… are you a top or bottom?” Jey asked so bluntly, making Dean stop what he was doing, for a just a second before he continued.

“Um, what?” Dean said back nervously.

“You know, top or bottom? Do you like to take the dick? Or give it?”

“I um… I don't know,” Dean's voice somehow got lower, kinda like he was ashamed, “I never been with anyone but Roman and he doesn't really like bottoming.” he answered shyly.

“Yup, that's cuz for you,” Jey laughed, “It was bad when he was with AJ, but that relationship was more sex than anything. It was when he met Finn, that things went sour. He really loved him you know? And it's hard to try to love yourself after catching a person you gave yourself to in bed with someone else.”  Jey sighed, “It'll take awhile but if he really loves you, he'll offer himself to you. All you gotta do is be patience with him and take a chance.”

“He actually did offer himself to me once, but we got interrupted um…” Dean blushed and leaned in so only Jey could hear him. “If I'm being honest? I actually love being the one getting the dick. It feels… good. I wouldn't mind topping but I think I prefer the bottom. If that makes sense.”

“No it makes sense, bottoming is fun. I like it too.” Dean sat back in his chair, shocked by Jey’s confession. He had no idea Jey was gay, Roman never told him anything.

“I didn’t know you were…”

“Gay?” Jey laughed when Dean nodded, “I'm not. I'm bi.”

“Oh my god. So you're like attracted to both?” Dean was so intrigued he never met a bi person before.

“Yeah, sometimes I just go with the flow. Took me a long time to figure out my label but once I did, I came out to everyone and they accepted me. It's all about finding your label you know?” Dean nodded, “So how about you? What's your label? What's your coming out story?”

“Well,” Dean looked down, “I don't necessarily have one?” I'm actually a conservative republican, and not many people know I'm gay. My two best friends know, I think my mom knew since I was young but she denies it, and I came out to my dad, via photo album, sent to him by snail mail. He's probably furious,” Dean laughed to himself, “But I don't care. Ever since I met Roman, my life has been a whirlwind of emotions. But he's taught me how to be confident and sexy and he makes me feel so loved. I know it's my first gay relationship but I don't want anyone else. I'm so in love with him.”

“Wow, that's really beautiful.” Jey smiled appreciatively at Dean, “He honestly talks about you all the time. He loves you two you know? It doesn't matter how many relationships you've been in before him, it's about finding someone who you can look at and say confidently, ‘ _this is it for me, I_ _don't want anyone else.”_ Having that security proves that this is love, and not lust. You should definitely hold onto it.”

Dean smiled at Jey, and nodded softly. He was right. Roman was it for him. He could see himself waking up to his face every day, and smiling, being thankful for him and his love. Dean began dealing the cards again and he began to realize just how lucky he was. He was so in love and from there on out nothing was going to stop him from loving Roman 100 percent, the way he truly deserved to be.

* * *

 

Dean found himself feeling less tense as the night went on. After talking to Jey, they all had beers in the living room while playing old school Nintendo 64. An hour later, Roman’s mother asked him for help preparing dinner in the kitchen, and Dean happily agreed. While he was cutting up pineapple slices, she took the time out to tell him that she liked him, and she really liked how well mannered Dean was. The entire family was so welcoming, the air around the home was inviting, and genuine. The only one missing was Roman’s father, but Roman said he was on a business trip to Paris so he couldn’t be there.

Other than that, Dean felt so at home with Roman's family. He remembered how dinner felt at his house, always tense, no sense of happiness. But here, Roman held his hand throughout dinner, and he laughed with Jey and Jimmy, and his mom was so sweet. Dean realized that this is what home was supposed to feel like. A group of people coming together, having conversations, eating good food and loving each other.

 _It was supposed to be easy?_ Dean said to himself as he and Roman washed the dishes together. Roman kept brushing his hand over Dean’s and making him laugh as the dishes got soapy. He laid a quick kiss on Dean’s neck, making Dean blush slightly at the feel. While they cleaned the plates, Dean started to remember what Jey told him earlier about confidence.

“ _You say, this is me, and I love myself and can't nobody tell you different.”_  

The one thing Dean had been struggling with a lot since he was young, was confidence. It didn’t help that he was also struggling with his feelings for boys, both hurdles being the biggest struggle of his life. But, once he met Roman, he showed him so many things, he showed him that it was okay to be himself, and more importantly, it was okay to _love_ himself.

Dean realized now that loving himself was as simple as owning up to who and what he was, and being proud in the skin he was in.  

_And fuck he was so proud of how far he came._

“I'm gonna shower and head to bed, see you in the morning baby.” Roman gave Dean a sickeningly sweet kiss, that Dean felt all the way down to his toes. He closed his eyes as their lips met softly, and once Roman pulled away, Dean opened them to see his beautiful man smiling at him. “Goodnight, beautiful.” Roman touched his cleanly shaven face softly then walked away, and Dean shivered while watching him.

Dean told himself that he was going to be a good Christian boy, and not try to fuck Roman in his mom's house despite them not having sex for two weeks now, but… maybe it was time to put the good Christian boy on mute, and find the confident, sexy Dean, that loved Roman so much.

 ~

He didn't think as he ran upstairs to Roman's room, and quickly disrobed then got in the shower. Dean made sure he washed the day away, and brushed his teeth before he came back out and dried off, then went to his suitcase.

Dean’s towel didn't stay on his body for long, especially when he picked up his entire suitcase and placed it on Roman's bed. He unzipped it, then rifled through his neatly folded clothes to find the one thing Dean was looking for.

He found it at the very bottom of his bag, and Dean smiled as he remembered the day he saw it for the first time. They went shopping together at the mall as promised and after a long day of buying new clothes, Roman brought him into the men's intimates section. He asked Dean what he liked and Dean expressed that he actually loved color, but he was always afraid of wearing any. They searched through the underwear and Roman started picking out some cute briefs he thought would look nice on Dean.

While he went off and picked out a few, Dean found himself wandering off towards the thongs and g strings section. He had no idea men wore thongs, or g strings but there they were, in an array of colors, pink, white, black, green, even lace and leather. Roman came up behind him and smiled, wrapping his arms around him and Dean remembered his exact words,

_“God I would love to see you in one of those one day.”_

Dean went back the very next day without Roman and brought 4 pairs of thongs. He wasn’t so sure about a g-string _just yet_ but he did like the way the thongs looked when he tried them on at home.

Dean promised himself to always respect his Christianity, it's been the center of who he was for the longest time, but he also realized how much it hindered him from experiencing new things. He hasn't had sex with his boyfriend in two weeks, and he was in the next room, possibly sleeping, being respectful of Dean’s values. He loved how much Roman respected him, and tonight, Dean was going to show him just how much he appreciated that.

He placed his feet into the thong and let it slowly slid up his legs and his thick muscular thighs before settling it high against his hips. Dean turned around to Roman's full length mirror and looked at himself. He pushed his red hair out of his face, and then smiled at how hot he actually looked. He grabbed Roman's favorite hoodie that Dean stole from him and placed it on, then turned around to look at his ass. “Oh my god,” Dean laughed to himself, “You've gotten so big.” Dean gave his own ass a firm squeeze then placed on some socks, and slowly opened Roman's door.

The house was so quiet, the smallest sounds would probably wake everyone up. So, Dean slid slowly down the hallway, in nothing but a hoodie, thong and socks and went towards the room Roman was staying at. He opened the door and snuck in, then closed it behind him. Dean came in thinking that Roman would already be in bed, but he wasn't. He heard his familiar hum from the shower, so that’s when Dean decided he was going to get in bed. He crawled in once he heard the shower stop and sat on his knees, waiting for him to come out.

Roman came out of the bathroom, toweling off his hair and immediately he saw Dean, in the middle of his bed, in what looked like his hoodie, smiling at him.

“Babe?” Roman asked curiously, “Hey what are you doing here?”

“Well, you remember how I said I wasn't going to fuck you in your parents house right?”

Roman nodded.

“Well…” Dean started to crawl down the bed, letting Roman get a glimpse of his ass, with nothing but a small patch of tasteful blue lace in between his cheeks. “I think I might want to change my mind.” Dean came close to his body, then unraveled the towel from around Roman's waist, letting it fall. Roman was already half hard in the shower, but seeing Dean like this, gave him full on wood, especially looking down at those innocent blue eyes, which were staring directly at his cock. “So tell me baby,” confidence flew through Dean as he grabbed hold of Roman’s erection, and began to stroke it, slowly. “Do you still wanna fuck me?”

“Oh my god,” Roman had his mouth hanging open as he watched Dean stroke his dick, while those blue eyes stayed on him. Dean was always so shy in bed, from the first time till now he would always let Roman lead, but tonight, he made a mission to sneak into Roman's room wearing next to nothing, just to seduce Roman. He had to admit seeing him this confident was so fucking sexy.

“Eyes on me, and not my ass while your fat cock is in my mouth, understand?” Roman nodded at Dean's command, and that's when he took hold of Roman’s dick and brought it in his warm mouth, his head bobbed up and down once, hearing his partner let out a soft moan as he began sucking. Dean never felt so much power and desire before.

Roman kept his eyes on him, and not Dean's ass just like he wanted as he relaxed his throat just like Roman taught him, and let more of Roman in, he felt his dick twitch in his mouth when Dean got down to the base, then he released, only to suck in it yet again.

“Oh my god Dean, you're sucking that dick baby, fuck you feel good.” Roman's head tossed back, from the pleasure, but as soon as it did, his dick was out of Dean's hot mouth. He looked up, to see Dean tsk’ing his teeth and crawling up the bed, away from him, silently telling Roman he was being a bad boy.

Roman smirked and grabbed at Dean’s foot, bringing him back down the bed. He got a glimpse of Dean’s erection in his flimsy underwear when Roman spread his legs, making Dean show him that tight pink entrance Roman loved so much. Roman got on his knees and pulled the underwear to the side then slowly placed Dean's dick in his mouth.

“Ro!” Dean called out quietly, watching Roman suck him all the way down Dean's hard dick to his balls without gagging. Roman slurped and sucked a few more times before he tossed Dean around, and pulled him by the waist, ass first towards his lips. Dean loved being man handled, and he loved it even more when Roman ate his ass. He felt his hot breath near his soft pink rosebud, and then one slow lick around the rim, making Dean moan out softly.

“You like that?” Roman asked as he rimmed it again, then teased that fat tongue into Dean’s wet hole. He kissed around it, then dived right in, making Dean moan out as quietly as possible. “If you want this tongue deep inside this gorgeous...” Roman took a bite of it, making Dean jerk up, “...ass you need to tell me baby.”

“I want it,” Dean told him in a soft voice, that was begging for Roman’s tongue just to go deeper in him already.

“You want it?” Roman gave his sweet, glossy entrance a kiss, his tongue slowly moving in and out, until he pulled out again, “Tell me how much? Tell _Daddy_ how much you want this tongue and my fat dick.”

 _Did he just call himself daddy?_ Dean bit his lip at him, his blue eyes blazing with fire, and he whimpered out, “I want _Daddy’s_ big fat dick.”

 It was somewhere between finishing that sentence, and his legs being spread wider did Dean fully realize that he had a little kinky side too, especially when he felt that tongue deep inside of him, moving in and out of his loosening hole. “Daddy!” Dean said, biting down on the blanket to keep from moaning out loud. No matter how good he was getting it right now, they were still in his parents home after all.

Roman tongue fell out of him, with a hearty slap to Dean's plump ass. He went to his suitcase to get some condoms and lube, but Roman only found one of the two. He pulled out the lube then came over to Dean who had turned over on his back. Roman crawled into bed with him, and making his cute boyfriend smile as he got in between those thick thighs.

“I might have to go in raw,” Roman whispered as he kissed down Dean's body, then back up towards his lips, “You okay with that baby?” Roman always asked for Dean's consent, that's what made Dean feel more wanted than anyone else around campus or in the world. He wanted him to feel safe with him, and Dean did, in fact there was no one else in the world he felt safer with.

“I'm okay with that,” Dean kissed Roman softly, his legs wrapping around his ass, so he could feel that dick close to his own hole. He watched him lather it up with lube, and pour a little bit in between Dean's cheeks, then slowly he pressed himself into Dean.

He loved watching Dean's face when he was penetrated, his mouth hung open and with each inch he let out a little mewl that Roman would never forget. Roman kissed him before he moaned, letting Dean's ass get accustomed to his size. Once he was deep enough, Roman began a slow thrust in, and slower out, his brown eyes looking deep into blue. His lips teased over Dean’s, and their hands slowly connected above Dean's head, fingers lacing as Roman’s thrusts started getting faster.

“Fuck, I've never felt this deep before,” Roman wasn’t lying, his dick was so snug in that amazing ass he felt like he could come in minutes. Dean was watching him, trying not to moan too loudly when Roman picked up his pace, and started to pound into him with a thrust that would make any greek god jealous. “You like how Daddy’s dick feels in this tight ass?” Roman asked before he kissed his neck gently.

“I love how you feel! God, Daddy you feel so good!” Dean felt pleasure literally all over his body when Roman fucked him but this was different. They were looking into each other’s eyes, panting in each other’s mouths and holding hands while he fucked Dean, no, _he made love_ to Dean like he never wanted anyone else.

Dean whimpered against his lips, squeezing Roman's hands before he began to stroke himself while Roman fucked him. “Oh my god! Ro! You're so deep, fuck I love you so much!”

“I love you Dean! Fuck, are you gonna come for me?” Roman picked up up from their position to a new one, that caused Dean to ride him. Dean's head tossed back at how fucking deep he felt from this alone.

Roman slammed up into him, his hands moving to take his hoodie off of Dean so he could get a good look at that beautifully tight, sweaty body. Roman kissed and sucked each nipple, and that’s what pushed Dean over the edge. He moaned out louder than he should have as he came on his chest, and then held on, letting himself be fucked fast until he felt it, all of Roman’s cum deep inside of him. Fuck, it felt so good, so warm, Roman kept thrusting until he was completely spent and that’s when they both fell back against the bed, smiling at each other.

“So… you're daddy huh?” Dean asked, between soft pants.

“Yeah, I am, do you like it?” Roman said back, as he looked deep into blue eyes.

“I do,” Dean innocently replied.

“Mm, and I guess you're not as good of a Christian boy as you claim,” Roman pulled a laughing Dean on top of him, the boys looked into each other’s eyes and smiled.

“I guess I'm not.” Dean kissed him gently, while Roman grabbed his ass. “Is that okay? That I'm not as innocent as people expect me to be?”

“It's more than okay,” Roman promised, holding his slender waist tightly. “I love you for you, shy, innocent, confident, or not, you're mine, that's all that matters.”

“I love it when you call me yours.” Dean smiled back at him, “And I love your family.”

“Good, because they love you too.” Roman pushed some of Dean’s sweaty red hair back, and touched his jaw, “I never loved someone the way I love you Dean.”

Dean blushed, “Me either. I love you so much Roman.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our babies are so damn deep in love, it's so cute. But what happens when Richard finally makes a move? Should Dean tell his mom? Do you think this is real love for Dean or will they both end up heartbroken in the end? -Melle


	18. Soaps, Studs and a Birthday Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a birthday weekend to remember.

“ You really think you know everything about me?” 

Dean asked his boyfriend that question yet again, laughing as he and Roman laid out on the floor of his dorm room together. They just got back from spending three beautiful days with Roman's family, laughing, playing volleyball on the beach with his cousins and eating the best food Dean has ever tasted. Never in his life has Dean felt so carefree, confident and happy. It was definitely in part, to do with Roman, his kindness, his great family and his love and the other? 

_ His father. _

Richard hasn't contacted him at all since Dean sent him the photos, and in the back of his mind, Dean knew that  _ couldn’t _ be a good thing. He knew his father well, so well that he knew he was planning something, and something big. But, Dean wasn't going to let Richard scare him into hiding, or the thought of losing everything he was accustomed to ruin his life.  _ Not anymore. _ Whatever happened from there on, Dean was going to stand up to him and let him know that this was who he was, who he has always been... proudly.

But until any of that happened, Dean was going to enjoy spending time with the one man who meant more to him than fear or his father’s lies would ever allow.

“... I honestly do,” Roman answered, smiling while looking up at the ceiling. “Why, do you wanna test my Dean Ambrose knowledge?”

“As a matter of fact, I do!” Dean leaned against his own arms, and looked over to his boyfriend  “Okay... we can start with an easy one, what's my favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“My birthday?”

“December 7th.” Roman laughed, “Cmon make it at least a little hard for me babe.” 

“OKAY!” Dean pushed him playfully, “What's my favorite ice cream flavor?”

“You have three favorites, mint chocolate chip on a nice hot day, chocolate chip cookie dough while watching horror movies, and plain vanilla, the really expensive kind when you're upset.” 

Dean bit his lip,  _ fuck he was good, _ he thought.“Okay an even harder one! Who is the  _ first _ celebrity I ever had a crush on?”

Roman thought about it for a second, his brown hair tossing back as he looked up at the ceiling before he smirked “In your warped heterosexual reality you lived in for 19 years? Angelina Jolie. In the real world? Harry Styles.” 

Dean blushed as Roman got everything correctly. He really did know him so well. He rolled over so that he was on top of Roman, making the samoan man smile up at him before Dean gave him a soft kiss. Roman’s hands wrapped securely around him, his kisses light and airy as blue and brown eyes stared happily into each other’s.

Dean wondered if being this happy in a relationship was how everyone in relationships felt. He never felt this much joy in his life. He loved being with him, and enjoying Roman's company. He loved his kisses, and the way he smiled when Dean decided to stay over at his dorm. He loved waking up to him, smelling his sweet cologne all over his neck, and he especially loved to laugh at his bad jokes and his charming quips. He loved  _ everything _ about him, and the best thing... was that Roman loved him too. 

“Okay so you know me,” Dean confessed with a playful roll of his eyes. “But I think I know you just as well.” he challenged him.

“Yeah? Go for it then, pretty boy.” Roman smiled up at him, watching Dean sit up on top of him and place his hands on his chest.

“Your birthday, which is coming up, this weekend, is May 25th. Your favorite era for movies is the 90’s because you said it's the only era to,  _ 'fully embrace the cliche’, _ your favorite director is Stanley Kubrick, you like frozen yogurt more than ice cream, but it absolutely  _ has _ to have pineapples or you’ll bitch,” Roman laughed at that, “You love the color white, but your favorite color is red, your first celebrity crush was Leonardo Dicaprio, and you love it the most… when my ass is in the air, and your dick is deep inside of me.” 

“Mmm bravo,” Roman playfully clapped at him, “You get an A for effort, beautiful, you got  _ almost _ everything right.” Roman laughed, placing his hands behind his head while Dean's ran down his thick muscular frame.

“Oh yeah? What could I have possibly gotten wrong?” asked Dean, while he slowly squeezed Roman's sides.

“You know I love it when I fuck you, you have nice tight ass,” Roman squeezed both cheeks softly, making Dean whimper, “... and I love the way those pretty blue eyes gleam while I'm deep inside of you. But, I'm not just.. a top. I like taking dick too. Actually, I love it, um…” He paused, “ It's just… I told you about AJ,” Dean nodded knowingly, “He confused me, he hurt me, but I just kept going back. I thought I moved on when me and Finn started dating, and tried it with him but every time we even attempted it, I'd tell him to stop. I felt like if I gave that part of myself to anyone I'd end up just getting hurt again. I was 18, in love with a grown man and he used that to his advantage. But I don't want that to define me anymore. I want you to have me Dean. I want you inside of me, I want you to experience what it's like to fuck a man… this man, anyway you want.” 

Jey told Dean this day would eventually come. That one day Roman was going to offer himself to Dean,  _ all _ of him, that he just had to be patient and wait. Dean had to admit, their very first time together, he thought he was the one who was going to top, especially when Roman sat completely naked on top of him that day. But the experience meant so much more looking into those nice brown eyes, and getting fucked for the first time. He loved how deep Roman felt and  _ fuck, _ some days, Dean would spend precious class time, just thinking about how big Roman’s dick felt as he entered him for the very first time and now, Roman wanted Dean to do the same. 

The younger man looked down into worried, serious brown eyes and he smiled at him, before nodding gently. Roman was so happy he pulled Dean by the back of his head, his large fingers gripping red locks as he kissed him softly. Dean moaned into each kiss, his dick getting harder than last weekend as Roman touched him, and their lips met in overly intense kisses. Ones, that told Roman that he was ready whenever Roman felt comfortable and that he wouldn't pass it up any day of the week. 

Roman’s large hands left Dean's hair and found their way towards his supple ass which he cupped through Dean’s tighter than usual sweats as they began a very heated make out session. Dean’s own hands misbehaved, gliding gently down that beautifully muscular frame, towards his man’s hard erection, straining against his jeans. He squeezed his boyfriend’s dick, making Roman release a sharp breath, brown and blue eyes glazed over in lust as Dean began stroking that thick cock slowly only to...

“Ugh! Fuck men!” Seth screamed as he entered, actually more like stormed into the dorm room. He tore off his coat and slammed the door behind him, stepping right over the happy couple to go to his bed. 

“Bad date?” Roman asked breathlessly, sighing before his lips left a smiling Dean's. 

“The worst.” Seth sighed, took off his sneakers then his jeans like Dean wasn’t even in the room. “Hunter decides to hit me with, “ _ "I want you to date younger guys Seth," _ Seth whines, using his raspy Hunter voice,  “Which we know is code for he's getting bored of me. So I’m like you know what? I'll show him! I open up my little black book and take a guy out to none other than one of his restaurants just to piss him off. We're having a great time, laughing, then of course Hunter shows up. He sees me with my new young man, and he's all jealous and shit then he texts me like, _ “bathroom, five minutes.” _ I get up and go and of course we fuck like crazy in the stall then his fucking wife shows up looking for him and guess what? He leaves with her! Can you believe that?” 

“I can't believe…” Dean chimes in, sitting up on top of Roman, making his erection even more uncomfortable than it already was, “... that you said all of that without taking a breath.” 

Roman laughed at Dean then hit his thighs to get him to behave, “Seth honey, you know I try to stay out of your business but Hunter is right about one thing, you are really hot, you can have any young guy you want. Yet you're stuck on an old one who is  _ never _ going to leave his wife for you. Like ever. I wish you'd do better.” 

Seth rolled his eyes at his best friend, “Please, not everyone can meet a young, cute, gay conservative boy virgin who you can deflower and fall in love with like you, Romie.” Dean actually smiled at the compliment, “Hunter loves me, I know he does. He's just needs a push in the right direction.” Roman shook his head, laughing when Dean laughed. “That’s why I'm inviting him to soaps and studs night at the Glow Room for your birthday on Saturday. I want him to come and see how great it is, to be gay and in love in this century.” 

“Oh fucking hell no.” Roman placed Dean on the side of him and got up to go to his own bed. He pulled Dean in with him, letting the redhead lay on his lap. “No way am I going to soaps and studs night at the Glow Room on my birthday and no way am I crossing paths with Hunter the closeted homo.” 

“But you love soaps and studs night!’ Seth pouted, “It's practically a birthday tradition!”

“Well not since I met Dean.” Roman was firm in his answer. “He doesn't need to be subjected to that.”

“Wait, what's soaps and studs night?” Dean asked curiously.

“Um hello? It's only one of the funniest gay nights ever!” Seth replied, “You should know this by now Dean, but since you're a baby gay, I'll give you a one time pass. Soaps and Studs is the one night a year they fill the dance floor with bubbles and hot men dance around in their underwear. It falls on Roman's birthday almost every year. All the guys love Roman at the Glow Room. Especially on S and S night.”

“I've noticed.” Dean said it, looking up while smiling at Roman, “Well we can definitely go if you want. It actually sounds like fun, baby.” 

“Really?” Roman smiled, “I thought you'd be so uncomfortable there. It's just a bunch of gay guys in their underwear in a club full of bubbles.” 

“I'm comfortable wherever you are.” Dean pulled Roman's head down so their lips could meet in soft kisses. Seth watched them, biting down on his bottom lip before turning away in his own bed. 

“Are you two done?” Seth asked, his voice full of jealousy. “I'm trying not to get a hard on before my nap thank you very much.” 

“I'm  _ never _ done when it comes to Dean, but for your sake…” Roman kissed Dean a last time then pulled away, but not before he ran his hands through Dean's wild red hair. “I'll stop, and before you ask, yes, we're gonna go to soaps and studs night.” 

“Really?” Seth was so beyond happy. He got up and pushed Dean off of Roman so he could give him kisses. Dean rolled his eyes playfully then got in Roman's bed, pulling him down so he could kiss him instead. Seth got on top of Roman while Dean was kissing him, and smirked at the couple. “I can't wait for the weekend. It's gonna be your best birthday ever.” 

“I agree,” Dean whispered, breathlessly against Roman’s lips while Seth watched, “It's going to be the absolute  _ best _ birthday, you ever had.”

* * *

 

**Two days later**

Dean looked down at his expensive watch and let out a frustrated sigh,  _ fuck, _ if Cody didn’t hurry up he was going to be late for political science. His grades were still top notch but Dean was with Roman all weekend and good dick makes you stupid sometimes, and by  _ sometimes _ he meant having to finish his English lit paper twenty minutes before the actual class because Roman wanted to go a third round. Dean didn't mind though, Roman was the best distraction in his life, and he was thankful for him every day. 

Dean thought a lot about love, even moreso, now that he was in it with an absolutely amazing man. He wanted to share Roman with everyone, show the world that being gay didn’t have to mean unprotected sex, hurt, promiscuity, or the absence of love. Roman gave him care, comfort, romance, intimacy and monogamy. He taught Dean that real love knows no sexual preference and or prejudice. 

And fuck, Dean wished that for Cody.

His best friend was having a harder time dealing with the fact that what he went through was serious, and damaging. Cody clung to Dean for dear life, and as soon as he came home from his weekend trip to Pensacola, went back to sleeping in bed with Dean every night. He could hear Cody fighting his demons in his sleep, the dreams becoming more prevalent than ever. Dean just wished Cody got to experience love, the way he has. He never understood how life could be fair for some people, and unfair for others. Especially Cody, who didn’t asked to be repeatedly raped by his father, since he was 17, or become a shell of the boy he used to be. 

Cody came out of the center finally, and Dean saw him and smiled, but this time, Cody wasn’t alone. There was a man there, had to be Roman's age or older, making Cody do the one thing Dean hasn't seen him do very often… smile. He gave Cody a hug then they parted, but not before Dean definitely got a glimpse of Cody watching the man walk away. His eyebrows raised curiously, as Cody waved him goodbye then looked around until he saw Dean, and made his way over.

“Hey Codes,” Dean smiled at him, “How was it?”

“It was okay,” the smile Cody had minutes ago with the man was all but gone now, “I finally said something.” 

“Oh really?” Dean watched his car beep, and slowly he let Cody in. “What did you say?”

“My name.” Cody whispered, looking down into his lap, “It's all I could think of saying. Ted said that I would come around on my own time. No one is pressuring me, which is good.”

“That's great,” Dean said back, turning the key and reviving the engine, “Cody that's amazing… this Ted guy, is that the guy you were just talking too?”

“Yeah,” Dean watched Cody's face change immediately talking about the mysterious Ted guy. He seemed… happy. “He's the counselor. He always tells his story first to get everyone comfortable. He's come a long way from being raped by his uncle for 4 years. And he's such a sweet guy. He gave me his phone number to call if I need too. He said it doesn't matter if it's day or night.” 

Dean let out a laugh at that, that had Cody looking at him suspiciously, “What?” Cody said, eyeing him.

“Nothing, I'm glad you have someone to talk to that understands what you're going through is all.” Dean offered a warm smile that put Cody at ease. “I'm proud of you Cody, even if it's just your name, you fighting, and you speaking up, it means everything. You're so much braver than me.” 

Cody actually smiled at Dean, he took his hand and held it close to his heart, “Dean, we're both so brave, and no matter what comes next or what Richard has planned, I'm right there by your side, always.” 

“Always?” Dean asked back softly.

“Always.”  Cody nodded.

* * *

 

Friday.

**Happy birthday baby, I can't believe I’m not there sucking your dick as a wake up present this morning, because of classes. But, I'll more than make it up to you tonight and all weekend if you let me. See you tonight though, I can't wait to dance with you and have a ton of guys jealous. Also you should look underneath your bed. I love you - Dean.**

Roman read Dean's text over and over since he woke up at 9 am. He couldn't stop smiling, especially when he looked under his bed, and found Stanley Kubrick’s Visionary Filmmaker collection wrapped up in a bow. He hugged it like it was Dean, and it helped him through the rest of his TA classes for the day. 

He met Seth for lunch, which Seth treated him too, along with an expensive rolex which no doubt Seth made Hunter buy for him. Roman thanked him and for the rest of the day, he and Seth spent it together, laughing, and having fun. Roman wished Dean was there, but he also knew how important school was to Dean, he was an academic, someone’s who was passionate about being great and Roman admired that. 

By the time 8pm rolled around Roman and Seth had met up with some school friends at the Rabbit's Foot karaoke bar to throw Roman a birthday bash. Roman completely ignored his red velvet cake, and kept checking his phone to see if Dean was on his way, but he hasn’t gotten anything since this morning. At nine, Seth told Roman they should go home and change for soaps and studs night but all Roman kept thinking about was Dean. He kept checking his phone to see if he had texted him or missed a call, but there was nothing.

Roman’s mood was dropping as he and Seth made it back to Newman. Hank, the security guard on duty smiled at Roman suspiciously, as he let them in. Roman wanted to unpack that weird smile but he decided to leave it alone. He walked meekly towards the end of the hall to his room, his head was down as they made it to the door of their dorm. Roman opened the door, ready to change for the stupid club when..

“Hey good lookin.” Roman's brown eyes came across the one man he so badly wanted to see all day, standing in his dorm room, with a present in his hand and a smile on his face. 

“I'll... go change in Pete’s dorm. You boys have about 10 minutes before we leave. Make it count.” Seth smiled at both of them then grabbed his clothes and quickly exited the room.

There was silence now that Seth was gone, but it was comfortable. Roman and Dean couldn't stop smiling at each other, and each step they took saw them getting closer and closer, like they were magnets, their bodies fitting perfect against another, while the present in Dean’s hands dropped onto the bed, and he was automatically pulled in Roman's big embrace. Dean missed those arms around him. He missed the way his lips felt when Roman pressed his own against his, to silently let Dean know how much he missed him. “I thought about you all day,” Dean’s speech was almost breathless as their kisses became frantic, “I missed you all week, happy birthday baby.” 

“You are so lucky we promised Seth to go to this club tonight, cause all I wanna do is fuck you,” Dean moaned against him, “And suck you,” He grabbed Dean's thighs, then his ass, “Have you screaming my name, until the very moment you cum on those abs, and I'll lick it off, slowly.” 

“Roman,” Dean had never been this turned on in his life. He was pretty sure he was going to get fucked tonight, and considering that he hasn't seen his boyfriend in three days, that was perfectly fine with Dean. He ran his hands up Roman’s chest, letting his brown eyes follow until they found a home around his neck. They kissed again, with Dean grabbing the back of Roman’s black locks, in frustration so sexual you could cut it with a knife. “Aren't you going to open your present,” Dean asked, as he pulled away to breathe. “It's special.”

“You are my present.” Roman's tone was laced with hidden desire as he looked back into flaming blue eyes. “But I'll open the one you brought me later. For now, let's get dressed, before Seth comes back and sees me on my knees, sucking your dick.” 

“Ha!” Dean laughed, pulling away from Roman to sit on his bed, “Like he would mind.”

“He wouldn’t. That's what scares me.” They both laughed then Roman took off his shirt to change into something more tight, and clubby, and Dean had to squeeze his own dick to keep himself from getting too excited. He put on his favorite black “too tight but nicely fitted” tee and tossed a tight blue one at Dean. “Wear that, you'll have guys all over you in seconds. Also, try this.” Roman handed Dean some product for his hair, “It gives you this sexy bed head look that makes it seem like you just been fucked, but also like you're not trying too hard.” 

Dean put the shirt on then put some product in his hair, and let it set. He saw Roman looking at him like he was a meal, which was fine with Dean because he definitely didn’t mind being eaten. He licked his lips, and slowly opened his legs beckoning Roman over to him. “You know there's only one guy I wanna fuck.” Dean said as Roman dropped down to his knees, and started to unbuckle Dean’s belt. “All of those guys can look at me all they want, I want you.” 

“Mm, I love it when you say that. But,” Roman pulled Dean’s pants halfway down, and then his briefs, letting his beautiful dick stand at attention for him. “You're young, and despite what you may think, you're hot and hung. Once you meet someone else, I'll be nothing more than a distant-” Roman didn't finish his sentence, he was too busy wrapping his lips around Dean’s dick. His boyfriend fell back from the pleasure, his hands going through Roman’s hair gently as he sucked.

“Roman, I- fuck- I don't want anyone else!” Dean promised him. “I'm in love with you. I'll always be in love with you.” Their eyes met as he said it, and as they did, he saw Roman’s brown ones almost tear up. It couldn’t be because of his dick stuff so deep down his throat,  he was pretty sure Roman was born without a gag reflex, no, he was crying because of something else. The thought of one day losing Dean for good. Dean pulled him up and into his arms and held him softly. “I'll always love you.” Dean repeated, and with one  look shared between blue and brown eyes, Roman believed him. 

“I'll always love you too.” Roman replied, smiling when the best thing in his life smiled back at him.

* * *

 

The lovebirds held hands down the block towards the club. Seth rolled his eyes at both of them being so lovey dovey, but he was starting to get used to seeing them together. Dean wasn’t as big of an asshole as he originally thought he'd be, and he was trying his hardest to figure everything out and that was admirable. 

They didn’t get ID’d because Roman knew the security guard in high school, so he let them right in. The first thing Dean noticed was how different the Glow Room looked than when he came there with Roman. There were cages set high on the ceilings with men half naked, dancing in them while blowing bubbles at the same time, and there were almost 200 guys jam packed in the club as bubbles overloaded around them. Roman took Dean’s hand to the bar, where he ordered to drinks, before bringing him up high, on the highline that looked down at the dancefloor.

“I had no idea there were so many gay guys in Florida,” Dean yelled in Roman's ear, before sipping his drink.

“Surprising huh?” Roman laughed, making Dean smile. “And look, they're all half naked, it's kind of hot, look… even Seth.” Roman pointed towards Seth who had already removed his clothes and found a hot guy to grind up on. Dean laughed as he watched Seth and the muscular guys body get bombarded with soap as they danced. It  _ was _ hot. Dean wanted to dance too but he was afraid. He didn't really know how to move like the other men, and the last time he came there, Roman practically moved for him. He bit his lip, then looked away as his face flushed red. 

“Wanna dance with me?” Roman asked, holding out his hand for Dean to take. 

“I can't dance,” Dean pouted, looking into brown eyes that loved him dearly. “There's way more guys here than before, and all of them have perfect bodies. I don't even…” Dean shook his head, “You go, I'll watch you.” 

“I don't want to go without you,” Roman pulled Dean in close, his soft brown eyes and warm smile made his partner feel at ease. “I wouldn't care if you were the worst dancer in the world. I still want to dance with you because I love you.” 

“Roman,” a faint blush stained Dean’s cheeks as he looked back at his boyfriend. His eyes fluttered as he looked back into brown.  “I don't want to embarrass you or myself in front of a club full of half naked, wet and hot guys.” 

“You won't, just think about it like sex, the way I feel when I'm deep inside of you, that thrust, how your body moves along with mine. Dance with me like you wanna fuck me.” Roman placed both of their now empty glasses on the table close by then took both of Dean’s hands and lead him down the ramp, towards the dancefloor. They immediately got hit with bubbles when they came down, staining both of their shirts. Dean laughed when he saw Roman begin to move around to the hard thump of the music blaring from the speakers. Their shirts were soaked, so Roman took his off, and  _ fuck _ did he look great without one on. 

Dean watched him dance, smiling as Roman’s eyes were only on him for the time being. A guy tried to come up behind Roman, grabbing at him to get his attention, but Roman just pushed him away. He told him no thank you, then those brown eyes were back on Dean, he came closer to him, his hair and jeans getting soaked with bubbles as he stood with the man he loved. “You just gonna stand there, are you gonna show me how you wanna fuck me?” Roman’s challenge sent a shiver up Dean's spine. He pulled Dean in close, hands on his hips as they swayed together, Dean started to move, getting used to it for a good minute, smiling with Roman while the soap bubbles rained over them.

There was a strange sense of confidence that flew through Dean as danced. It could’ve been the way Roman was looking at him, or the way the guy with the huge muscles was looking at both of them from across the floor, whatever it was, fueled Dean to turn Roman around in his arms, his back to Dean’s front, hands on Roman's hips while Dean controlled his movements. Roman turned his head to look back at Dean, his lip tugged tight between his teeth while he grinded his ass against Dean's dick. The red head felt so confident and sexy as he looked back into dangerous brown eyes that were a shade darker, lust riddled, almost sinister.

“I want you,” The music was loud but Roman's sentence was clear as day. Dean quickly nodded, taking Roman’s hands and leading him off the dancefloor and out of the club. The spring air was a bit chilly but neither of them cared. They hailed a cab, and kissed in the back of it, alternating between groping, squeezing and moans until they got to Newman. 

They ran inside, giggling their way to Roman’s dorm, but this time it was different. By the time Roman unlocked the door, he was the one being pressed into the wall as kisses ran down his neck. He was the one moaning as Dean kissed each wet spot on Roman's body, moving down his thick muscular chest, until he was on his knees, looking up at him. 

Roman watched, as Dean unbuckled his belt, and then roughly pulled down his jeans and boxer briefs like Roman would do to him. His dick fell out, the pinkish tan beauty curved, erected for Dean's eyes only. He gave each thigh a kiss, then held the eight inch wonder at the base before Dean brought it slowly into his mouth. He's gotten so much better at this since the first time he sucked dick, Dean thought as he watched Roman’s head toss back in merciless pleasure. He still remembered that day, Seth interrupted, and the real reason Dean got so embarrassed was because... he didn’t want to stop. Now, he was a dick connoisseur, he loved the way Roman felt deep in his throat, he loved how possessive he got watching Dean suck him off, and he loved the taste of his cum filling up his mouth all warm, and wet. 

_ Oh my god, I might be a slut.  _ Dean laughed to himself.

“Fuck baby, if you don't stop I'm gonna fucking come!” Roman wasn’t kidding, the way Dean was sucking was only to be matched by Roman himself. He did this thing where he would swallow all of Roman down, while squeezing his ass cheeks and balls at the same time. Roman created a monster and he was thankful for it everyday. Although, his request to pull off was ignored because Dean kept going, not only that but he sped up, forcing moans out of Roman that he never realized he had before. “Dean! Fuck, I'm gonna!” Roman had no time to finish his sentence because his cum was already spilling out into Dean’s mouth.  He kept sucking, making Roman jerk as he swallowed most of it, then left a little on his tongue. 

Dean stood up and kissed Roman, letting him taste himself on his tongue and in his mouth. He felt him kick off his clothes, and Dean followed, leaving his wet clothes on the floor in a pile with Roman's. He brought Roman to the bed, then pushed him down on it first, before Dean crawled on top of him. Roman grabbed his bare thighs and squeezed, smiling at Dean but still emotionally spent from the blow job.

“You remember our first time?” Dean asked as he began kissing down Roman’s wet body. 

“Of course I do,” Roman answered softly, “Why?”

“Remember what you said to me right before you entered me?” Dean made it down towards Roman’s legs, where he spread them wide, then grabbed the lube and condoms from under Roman’s pillow. 

“Dean what are you-” Roman tried to ask, but he couldn't stop Dean from licking his thumb, and placing it right over Roman’s most intimate area. He jerked up, but Dean kept it there, caressing over the tan rosebud over and over, making Roman release sharp pants as he looked into comforting blue eyes.

“You fingered me our first time. I tried to figure out why and of course I Googled it after we fucked. You wanted me to be comfortable, and you wanted it to be meaningful. Remember?” Dean placed a finger very slowly inside of Roman, making the samoan man moan out, kind of like he did their first time. “I took one look into those nice brown eyes and I felt safe. I knew you wouldn't hurt me.” He added a second finger, slowly moving it in and out as Roman began to mewl, crying out as Dean thrusted in and out evenly. “I won't hurt you. I promise.” 

Dean reached up and kissed Roman softly while his fingers fucked Roman. He never thought this day would happen, but there they were, crazy in love, and Dean about to top. He pulled out, much to Roman’s dismay, to put on a condom and some lube. Dean also let the lube seep down Roman’s cheeks so he wouldn't hurt him. 

“Remember what you said to me, right before you took my virginity?” Dean looked down at him, watching Roman nod as the head of Dean’s dick slowly pushed it's way into Roman's very tight hole. “You said,  _ Your first time is going to be me… watching those pretty blue eyes as I fuck you.”   _Dean watched Roman gasp as he pushed all the way in, all of him, inside of Roman for the first time. “So Mr. Reigns, _ our _ first time is going to be me, watching those pretty brown eyes as I fuck you.” Dean lifted Roman’s leg up and held up under it as he took slow thrust inside of him. Roman couldn't stop moaning with each thrust, his lips so wide and open it had Dean wanting to move faster. 

He kept it slow though, his kisses were light and his touch was gentle as he fucked the one man who meant more to him than anything. “Dean, you feel so good,” Roman whispered it against Dean's lips and smiled when Dean kissed him again. Their bodies never felt closer, their hearts never felt heavier. Dean sped up a bit, his thrusts getting faster and their kisses more frantic as he fucked Roman. “Fuck, this feels great, you feel so good, Ro.” Dean didn't know how Roman did this, he was only in him for about 20 minutes now and he was already so fucking close. Roman was so warm, fuck he was so tight. He turned him on his side and they began to fuck faster, his dick hitting him at such an angle he couldn't even keep up.

Roman turned around on his knees and he placed Dean's arms around him, letting him pound in as they fucked even faster now.  Dean ran his hands down Roman’s sweaty back and then slapped his ass, before pounding in over and over again. Fuck, his dick looked so good going in and out of that ass. Roman placed his head on Dean’s shoulder, letting Dean hammer inside of him, kisses on their lips, both men in the brink of no return. “Fuck, I'm gonna come!” Dean shouted it out right before he came into the condom. He kept going, even when Roman fell against his pillows in exhaustion. Dean pulled out at the final second, falling on top of him and panting heavily.

“Oh my god, now I see why you love topping it's fun.” Dean laughed against Roman’s skin and he made Roman laugh too. They both rolled over on their backs, and breathed out heavily together.

“I forgot how much fun bottoming is though. Thank you for reminding me that when it's someone you really love, it can be really great sex.” Roman smiled while touching the drying come on his stomach. 

“You're welcome, although I have to say, now that I tried both… I think I might be… a bottom.” Dean wasn’t as ashamed of saying it like he was talking to Jey, actually it made him smile. “Is that okay?”

“More than okay,” Roman kissed him softly. “Whatever you like is okay with me.” Roman got up and stretched, and when he did Dean noticed a limp in his walk. All because of him. Fuck he was so proud of himself. “I'll be back, I gotta piss. Stay there gorgeous, round two is coming up very soon.” he winked at Dean before he left, and once he did Dean smiled to himself looking up at the ceiling. He was so happy he couldn't stop smiling. Dean thought about all the bad moments in his life, compared to now and he was so thankful for Roman. 

He looked at Roman’s alarm clock, it was almost midnight. He bounced off the bed to get his phone so he could text Cody, but before he could, Dean saw Roman's phone constantly buzzing on his computer desk. He smiled and picked it up, putting in the passcode. At first, Dean thought it was Seth, texting to see if they were done fucking yet, but once he went to the text messages, Dean saw five of them all from the same man.

**AJ: Hey, I miss you.**

**AJ: I still think about you all the time. Remember the time I fucked you in the back of that limo?**

**AJ: remember what happened in Professor Friedman’s office?**

**AJ: Have you thought about my offer?**

**AJ: Call me, and happy birthday baby.**

Dean’s heart began racing as he read text and text after text of AJ saying things that he never wanted to repeat out loud. He didn't want to panic, after all Roman told him all about AJ and how he couldn't let go of the past, but Dean was worried. Once upon a time AJ was the love of Roman’s life. He was Roman’s first of everything and Dean couldn't compete with that. He placed the phone down sadly, at the same time Roman came back in the room. He wrapped his arms around Dean and laid a perfect kiss to his neck.

“I just want to lay with you in my arms for the rest of the night,” Roman whispered it in his ear, then kissed the shell of it, “Is that okay with you?”

“Um yeah,” Dean forced a smile on his face as he turned around and held the man he loved, and stood to lose, so close to his body, “Anything you want birthday boy…. Anything.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will AJ Styles leave Roman alone? W  
> When will Richard finally make a move?  
> When will I stop asking questions? -Melle


	19. A Million Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> head stuck in a cycle, I look off and I stare, it's like that I've stopped breathing, but completely aware.. cause you're giving me a million reasons.

Dean loved waking up in Roman's arms. 

He loved the feeling of those big, muscular arms surrounding him as he rose from a midday nap in Roman's dorm. He came over, after both of their classes were over and he and Roman were so exhausted they both fell asleep together. Dean woke up first, about an hour later, feeling his body being held by his boyfriend. He caressed those tan arms, then turned around, trying not to wake him. There was a peaceful look on his face as slept. He had a contented smile and his hands, unknowingly still held onto Dean even though his conscience was elsewhere.

Dean watched him for a while, his breath fluctuated, uneven wisps turned into soft, slow, sighs, his beard shuffled, as he snored lightly. The crinkles between his eyes fought between ceased and not, and his smile kept changing from happy, to overly so. He touched his face, gentle enough to get a feel of his bushy beard, but not hard enough to wake him. Roman of course didn’t feel it, but that was okay. Sometimes, Dean just wanted to look at him, get a feel of the man he loved, unprecedented, unrehearsed, and bare. This 25 year old man was his heart, and it only took 9 months for Dean to figure it out. Actually it took 3, but he tried not to think about that too much.

After his birthday last week, Dean had been struggling with telling Roman exact how he felt about certain things. Those things being, professor AJ Styles, and his obsession with his boyfriend. He wanted to tell Roman that he felt like AJ was a creep, one who used Roman for sex when he was very young, and now he was trying to find his way back into Roman's life and pants. He wanted to tell Roman to keep his distance, stay away from him, or just tell him to take a fucking hint but he couldn't. Roman thought he was harmless, he kept telling Dean it's nothing. 

But for Dean, it was. 

The redhead leaned in and kissed his boyfriend's lips gently, then caressed over them before reaching out to grab his phone. He had a couple of missed calls and texts from Jack and Cody, so he figured he'd have to get back to the frat soon. The phone was placed in his back pocket, then Dean sat up and put his shoes back on. The sneakers were tied, and Roman’s favorite hoodie was placed over him. Dean smiled down at his sleepy partner, and kissed him, one last time. “I love you, call you later.” Dean whispered it so he could hear, running his fingers through his sleeping mane before exiting his dorm. 

Dean said goodbye to Hank, the security guard, as he left, and began walking back to the frat briskly. He got there in no time and ran jubilee upstairs to Jack’s room. Dean opened the door, surprised to see both Jack and Cody in bed together, just talking. Cody was actually smiling while talking to Jack, something he’s been doing more of now that he had that Ted guy to talk too. Dean didn't know if it was because Ted went through the same kind of ordeal with him or maybe Cody finally found some peace of mind but… Dean was thankful his friend was going to be okay. 

He still wanted to go to the police but he couldn't, not until Cody was ready. He didn't know when that would be, but he did know Cody was getting stronger more and more each day. 

“Hey Deano!” Jack said excitedly, “Get over here.”

Dean smiled and kicked off his shoes then jumped into bed with his friends, plopping down right in the middle. He made them both laugh as they made space for him, smiling while Cody immediately laid his head on Dean’s chest. 

“So.. how's the boyfriend?” Jack conveniently asked while smirking.”I feel like we haven't seen you in forever.” 

“I was here yesterday don't be dramatic,” Dean laughed, “... and the boyfriend is good, we just fell asleep together after classes and I woke up a few minutes ago, got your text saying to come over, so I left him.” Dean smiled happily at his friends. 

“Wait so you two didn't have sex?” Jack was surprised when Dean shook his head happily, “Wow, I'm surprised, with the way you brag about him I thought you guys would go at it every single time you see each other.” Jack saw Cody roll his eyes then laugh at his ridiculousness. 

“We do go at it almost every single time.” The republican’s bottom lip got lost between his teeth for a second, “You guys don't get how attractive he is to me. It's like you with Summer, I see him and all I want is his dick in my mouth.” Dean blushed when Jack’s mouth hung open in shock. “Sorry, that maybe too much information but it's true.”

“Dean you've become such a sap for him,” Cody added softly. “I remember when you wouldn't even go near a gay guy cause you were afraid you’d “catch it.”

“Yeah,” Dean scoffed lighter than usually, his eyebrows raising. “I was deflecting. Truth is, I've always been gay. It just took a very patient man, with a genuine heart to show me what true love is.” He smiled at Cody, “Now I can't go a day without wondering how he is, or making sure he knows how much I love him, you know? He deserves the world, I wish I could give it all to him on a silver platter.”

“Wow,” Cody was breathless by Dean’s thoughtful words, “I wonder what it's like being that much in love with someone,” Cody looked down, and sighed softly after he said it. Dean saw his mood change so he softly picked his head up and forced blue eyes on his own.

“You will find true love, Cody, real love, that doesn't hurt, is boundless with someone who cherishes you for the amazing human being that you are. I promise you.” Dean saw Cody smile appreciatively, so he gave him a much needed hug and Jack added on, smiling as he wrapped his arms around both of them, the three boys hugging tight, surrounding each other in friendship and love. 

Suddenly, Cody's phone began buzzing between him and Dean. He looked up at Cody who’s face held this embarrassed expression which made Dean curious as to why. “Ignore that,” Cody tried to tell them, but Dean just shook his head, and very quickly pulled it out of his back pocket before Cody could stop him.

“Who's texting Mister Rhodes so late at night… hm.. let's see…” Dean laughed as he began reading the text messages.

“Dean, DON'T-” Cody tried to grab his phone back but it was too late. 

**Ted: Hey, Cody, just checking in. I hope you're doing okay today.**

**Ted: See you in group tomorrow?**

**Ted: Actually, I was hoping we could go out for coffee after, just you and I without the group? Haha...Well anyway, let me know. Stay strong. xxx**

“Oh my god, Cody!’ Dean jumped up for joy in excitement, bouncing up and down on Jack’s bed. “Cody do you realize what this guy is asking?” 

“Shut up Dean,” Cody warned. “I said leave it alone.”

“Wait, what? Someone fill me in.” Jack interjected. 

“Cody…” Dean handed Jack the phone so he could read the messages. “This guy, he's asking you out… like on a date. Do you get that?” 

“Oh my god… he so is!” Jack added, giving Cody his phone back. “But he sent that an hour ago and you never replied, why?” 

“Because…” Cody began.

“Because what?” Dean and Jack asked at the same time.

Cody sighed harshly, then sat up with his friends indian style, “I don't even know what I am, or what I like. Richard took that from me when I was young. Forever I thought.. I must was gay, because he was forcing himself on me and after awhile I started to like it… but that's not it. I don't know if I like boys or girls or  _ anyone. _ I'm so confused and even though Ted is so sweet, I don't want to lead him on… ya know?” 

“Cody-” Dean began to say something but Jack cut him off, putting his hand on Dean’s thigh to let him know he was gonna say something instead. 

“Look, dude I know you've been through hellfire and brimstone cause of that fucker but don't let him take everything from you the way he took away your innocence. Sexual attraction isn't just about penis or vagina and that's it. It's about a feeling. When I look at Summer, I see someone I wanna share my body with. The same with Dean, he said it a few minutes ago he sees Roman and wants to be intimate. That's what sexual attraction is about, the emotions. How do you feel when you look at Ted?” 

“Warmth, happiness…” Cody smiled softly, “Tiny tingles all over.”

“Dude… that's sparks, electricity… that's attraction.” Jack smiled, “You smile whenever you speak of him, so what's really holding you back?” 

“He’s... almost 30..” Cody whispered, trying to find yet another excuse. “I can't..”

“You can, Cody. You definitely can.” Dean said, taking Cody’s hands. “Text him back, say yes. If on the date there's no attraction then fine but you'll never know unless you see what's out there.” Cody smiled warmly at both of his friends, confidence flowing through him before he began to text Ted back. Dean was so happy at how confident Cody looked, he was so proud of him for coming back from years of suffering in silence. He was about to give him another hug when his own phone buzzed in his back pocket.

**Baby: Um, excuse me sir, you left without waking me, a kiss, or my dick deep inside of you. Three crimes committed. Get back over here pretty boy, you have exactly... 15 minutes. ;)**

Dean smirked and immediately got off the bed, popping his shoes back on. “Uh, I gotta go guys, I'll see you guys later.” Dean said, his voice hurried. 

Jack and Cody both looked at each other, “Roman.” They said at the same, making Dean laugh as he tied his shoe. 

“Roman.” Dean said back, winking at both of them before leaving to go see the one man who made his world spin.

The only man he loved with all his heart. 

He got there in 13 minutes, and once the door opened Roman smiled, pulling him in for kisses, while his dorm room door closed behind them.

* * *

 

**Two days later.**

Dean was running late, literally, running. He was zipping across campus, trying to get to his history class. Damn Roman for wanting that quickie. He knew he wasn't quick enough for a 20 minute window and he knew Dean loved to get dick so they didn't even make it past foreplay. Now, Dean was rushing to revisionist history, trying to carefully brush past people, trying to not bump into anyone but one loud beep from his phone distracted Dean, causing him to trip over a bike stand, stumbling right into someone.

**_CRASH!_ **

Dean and the guy fell right into each other, with the guy right on top. All of their books fell down on the pavement next to them, Dean’s only saving grace was his backpack, which saved his head from meeting the ground permanently. 

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry!” Dean said apologetically, looking up at the blond guy who was towering over him. He said nothing for a second, no words came out of his mouth, but he did stare at Dean for a long time. He had green eyes, ones that were so piercing because of the sun. He touched Dean’s chest softly then got up, slowly helping Dean up as well. 

“It's okay,” The guy finally said, while bending down to pick up his books. “If I ran into anyone, I would rather it be someone as gorgeous as you.” 

“What?” Dean asked softly, as he started to help him pick up all his books he knocked over. Once all of the books were in his hand, they both stood up, the boy immediately smiling at him while they both rose from the ground. “I'm um.. late to class and I should go-” Dean tried to say.

“You’re so cute,” The guy again complimented him, “I love shy boys, they’re absolutely crazy in bed,” He watched Dean blush curiously, “I tell you what, since you bumped into me, and made me late for class too, how about you make it up to me by giving me your phone number.” The guy smiled wide, pushing some of his blond hair behind his ear, “I'm Ezra, what's your name?”

“I…” Dean blushed, he had never been hit on by any boy besides Roman before. He had to admit it was a good feeling, and the guy was really cute, despite Dean not being interested. “I'm Dean, and I'm really sorry about bumping into you, but I'm sorry… I'm taken.. and I'm late for class… it was um, nice to meet you though.” Dean began to walk away with a smile on his face. 

He couldn't wait to tell Roman that he actually got hit on, by a boy no less. He was walking up the steps towards the school, when he was tapped on the shoulder, Dean turned around, to see this Ezra guy there yet again.

“Sorry, you left so quickly you forgot you just dropped this.” He handed Dean a piece of paper and smiled. “See you around, beautiful.”  

Ezra walked off after that and once he did, Dean opened the paper to see his phone number written on it, with a little note saying call him sometime. Dean looked up softly, seeing Ezra smirking at him as he walked away. He shook his head, and put the number away, knowing he was never gonna use it anyway. He then opened his phone just to see the message that made him lose his footing.

**Baby: I'll make it up to you if I made you late for class… tonight I promise. Make sure you bring your overnight clothes… and my hoodie back please? I love you, see you soon. xoxo**

* * *

 

**Late, Friday Night.**

_ “Hey baby it's me. I miss you. I only have one last class of the day, then I'm all yours. I'll come over after I finish my essay. Call me okay? I love you.” _ Roman listened to Dean’s voicemail as he exited Professor Saber’s office that night. He hasn't seen him since Wednesday, and Roman had to admit he was having major Dean withdrawals. He didn't know it if was because he was graduating soon or if he just really loved him but Roman could admit it was getting harder and harder to go days without him. He was like… apart of him somehow, a special part, that Roman didn't want to go away anytime soon.

He walked up the path, towards his dorm, the moonlight his guide as he thought about him. He remembered Wednesday morning, waking up with Dean there and all Roman kept thinking about was wanting to see him there everyday. He was about to get a job working for a production company, ready for him thanks to professor Saber, right out of college and he had more than enough money saved to move into his own place. He started to wonder if it would be so crazy to ask Dean to move in with him? They've been dating for almost a year now, and he practically lived with him anyway. He knew it was a crazy idea but maybe… just maybe he would say yes?

Roman was so busy thinking about Dean and just spending more time with him he didn't notice someone following him. The shaded figure followed him up the path, staying quick behind Roman until he stopped, to check his phone. Roman still didn't notice anyone’s presence until… he heard his voice.

“You know, I always wondered what it would be like… to meet a true faggot.” 

The voice caused Roman to stop texting Dean, then slowly turn around, his books almost falling out of his hands as he looked at the man who was walking up to him from behind the trees. “Excuse me?” Roman asked softly. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I asked myself, would I automatically kill one if I met one. It would be easy, you know, no one would remember you either, besides the social media liberals and even then that has a shelf life of what… 2 weeks? Tops. The truth is, you cocksuckers don't deserve to be remembered.”

“Why don't you fuck off pal, I’m not a fag to mess with.” Roman warned him. “I suggest being on your homophobic way now.” 

“You see in your case, it's different.” The guy ignored Roman’s warnings and began to circle him, he put his hands in his pockets and smirked at him, “You, unfortunately would be remembered… by my son. The boy you took, defiled and turned into a son of satan. He would remember you because he thinks he loves you. He thinks he’s in love with another man. Isn't that cute… Roman Reigns?”

Roman started to put two and two together once the man finished speaking, he realized now, that this man wasn't just anyone… it was Dean’s father.  _ Richard Ambrose.  _ He should've guessed by the expensive suit and gucci loafers and out right hatred for something he happened to be, despite never admitting it. Dean told him he hasn't contacted him since he found out about Cody, but there he was, in the flesh. Roman gulped slowly, then took a step back. He wasn't afraid of him, it's just that Dean told him how vicious Richard could be. He knew he probably had a trick or two up his sleeve.

“Like it or not, your son has  _ always _ been gay, sir. I don't know how to tell you that so you'd understand but he was gay before I came along, and will be gay if I leave. He loves me and I love him,  _ I love your son. _ He makes me happy, I make him happy. Why is that so bad to you? Why is love so bad? Do you want him to be you? You want him to have to resort to raping 17 year old boys because you couldn't experience the same love and courage your son has? Do you want him to marry a woman knowing that he'll never truly satisfy her, or love her?” 

“Yes. I do.” Richard stopped moving, just so he could get in Roman’s face, “Dean is still young, and impressionable. This gay lifestyle you lead, whether you want to believe it or not, it's a choice. One he shouldn't be following after at 20 years old. He needs to focus on school, then marry a good woman and inherit this fortune and be a future president. DON'T you want that for him? You say you love him, don't you want him to achieve the highest goals he can?” 

“Yes but-” Roman was getting confused. 

“But nothing, if you love him like you say you do, if your love is so damn real, then love him enough to let him go.”

“No…” Roman shook his head, “I won't hurt him for you. Ever.”

“Then you're stupider than I thought boy, because If you don't, leave my son alone for good… then I'll take all my money spent on his education out of this school, and he'll have to withdraw and he'll be gone forever, back in Texas, back under my supervision. I'll do it too, I'm sure Dean has told you about my wrath. I  _ won't _ hesitate. You end this, now, and let Dean live his life or I swear boy, I'll show him  _ no mercy." _

“But I love him…” Roman looked back at Richard teary eyed, brown eyes pleading with the man in front of him to show the boy he loved mercy. “Please, don't make me do this.” He choked up, “Please just let me love him.”

“Love is between a man and woman, you don't know what love is boy and you never will. Your love can't hide Dean from my wrath. Nothing can save him my life lessons. I always win.” He fixed the collar on Roman’s shirt, then smiled deviously, “You have 24 hours to end this, or you'll  _ never _ see Dean again and trust me, I will be in touch. One way or another. You have a goodnight, Mr. Reigns.” 

Richard walked away after he finished speaking, hands in his pockets, a happy hum on his lips as he left Roman there to think about what he said.

* * *

 

Roman got back to his dorm about 20 minutes later, and when he walked in, Dean was already there, laid out on Roman’s bed in nothing but his favorite hoodie, with a smile on his face. “Hey gorgeous, you said to bring back your hoodie so I finally did...” Dean crawled over and pulled Roman down towards him, giving him a quick kiss.  He placed Roman’s hands right on his bare ass, giving him a soft kiss to his favorite spot on his neck. Roman didn't squeeze his cheeks like he usually would, nor did he kiss Dean back… he just kept staring at him, a blank expression splayed across his face. “Are you… okay?” Dean asked, touching his chest softly. “You're acting weird.”

“Uh, yeah,” Roman nodded, then sighed softly. He pulled away from Dean then sat on his bed, staring idly forward. He kept hearing Richard in his head, and everytime he looked at Dean he saw him.  _ “Your love can't hide Dean from my wrath. Nothing can save him my life lessons. I always win.” _ He saw a man begging Roman to let his boy go, or his dream and possibly Dean’s life would go with it.

Roman still remembered what Dean told him the first time they met. He said he wanted to be President. Something he admired about him. He couldn't be president if Richard stopped paying for his school, and he couldn't be president if Dean had no money or education. Dean's future was in Roman’s hands, so was his life. He couldn't let him go back to Texas, he wouldn't let Richard hurt him ever again. Roman loved Dean more than he’s ever loved anyone in his entire life and even though he loved him, he couldn't stand in the way of who Dean was going to become even if that meant letting him go.

Dean slowly sat on top of him, looking deep into Roman’s eyes before he kissed him softly. Roman kissed him back this time, selfishly letting his lips linger a little too long. His hands went around that slender frame, gripping at Dean a little too tight, because he knew it would be the last time he got too. He looked into those soft blue eyes, and touched his face, with Dean smiling, then kissing his palm gently. Roman didn’t want to do this… he lived his life waiting for a love like this to come along, but now he immediately knew what he had to do.

He had to let him go… for good.

“Dean...  we need to talk.” Roman said, slowly pulling Dean away, from his comfort and love so he could look at him seriously.

“Okay baby,” Dean smiled, “What do we need to talk about?”

“Us..” Roman looked down, he felt his tears already beginning to form and they haven't even begun yet. “You know how much I love you, but, I've been thinking a lot lately about our relationship.” He exhaled heavily, “You're... so young, Dean, so beautiful, gorgeous, sexy as hell but still so young and I can't sit here and pretend that I don't worry that you being 5 years younger than me means you will eventually want someone else.” 

“Roman,” Dean scoffed, “How many times do I have to tell you… I don't want anyone else.You're it for me, baby.”

“You even said you got hit on by Ezra… he doesn't just hit on anyone.” Roman shook his head, he knew he had to make this believable and unfortunately that meant lying… but it was all for him. He'd move the earth if Dean asked him too. 

“Roman.. what are you trying to say here?” Dean was confused. 

“I… got scared when you said Ezra hit on you. I got scared and insecure and I did something stupid…” 

“Okay… you're scaring me, what did you do Roman?” Dean asked, his voice going up in worry.

“I was...  unfaithful to you,” Roman felt the lie coming out of his mouth so quick, so vile, and untrue but he had to do this, he had to hurt him to make it believable. Dean wouldn't just let him go without a real reason, so Roman had to give him one that hurt enough to make him stay away for good. “I… slept with AJ,” Roman said, feeling himself cry as he lied to Dean. “I'm sorry.”

“What?” Dean slowly got off of him and stood up, “You slept with AJ?” He said breathlessly, “When? Why? Roman.. thought we were exclusive… together… why…” Dean’s eyes filled up with tears as he looked back at him.

“I called him over those two days you were busy with school. I have no real excuse for what I did. I just needed something in that moment only he could give me. I was horny, I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry-” Roman got up to meet him face to face, but that was a mistake. 

“FUCK YOU!” Dean shouted, pushing Roman hard enough to make him stumble back, “You fucking jerk!” He started to cry harder now, “THAT’S YOUR EXCUSE? You needed something only he could give you? REALLY? HOW DARE YOU ROMAN? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BREAK MY HEART FOR A SIMPLE FUCK FROM A MAN WHO USED YOU?”

Roman tried to reach out for Dean again but instead he got a hard slap in the face from his crying boyfriend. He stood his ground, not moving but Dean pushed him again. “Don't you  _ fucking _ touch me. Ever again. Fuck you, Roman Reigns,” Dean whimpered out, “Fuck you.”

“Dean.. please. I'm sorry…” Roman cried out pathetically.

“Fuck your please!  Fuck your sorry, It's over. We're fucking done. I hope you had fun with him cause you'll NEVER touch me again.” He pushed Roman back to the bed, then grabbed his clothes, tossing Roman’s favorite hoodie at him then… he was gone. 

Roman wanted to run after him, tell him it was all a lie, that he wouldn't never hurt him but he couldn't. He was doing this for him, Dean deserved a life free of his father, from his torture and life lessons, so if Dean having a future meant Roman, alone,  without the love of his life then… 

So be it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ROMAN NO!
> 
> Richard is so smart and calculated, he went after Dean’s heart and for that he wins this round.
> 
> Do you think ambreigns will bounce back from this or is RomanAJ/Dean/Ezra in the cards? - Melle


	20. Love On The Brain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no matter what I do, i'm no good without you and I can't get enough...must be love on the brain

Two months.

Two months and 3 weeks since the night that changed Roman’s life forever. He woke up half naked, his brown eyes staring idly up at the ceiling like they always do. His hands moved slowly down his abs, a soft sigh escaped from his lips as he heard the soft sound of the guy next to him snore. Roman was sleeping next to someone, a warm body to fill his bed, but not enough to fill the void of losing Dean.

He always measured his relationships by the amount of love he felt in them. When he was with Finn, he thought true love was real but he found out it wasn't, for Finn at least when he found him in his bed with his best friend.  When he was with AJ, he thought that lust meant love at 18, before he found out the hard way, from a man with a hidden wife and kids.. that it wasn't. 

Then there was Dean.

Roman never thought he could miss someone the way he missed him but he did. Every single fucking day that passed was harder than the last, Roman would have dreams about waking up to his eyes, that dimpled smile, those sweet hands lacing in his own. He'd wake up and see him not there, realizing that he’d never be there again. At least not in his reality. 

Not ever anymore. 

Richard texted him two months ago telling him “good job” and that he would always be watching. Roman was fine with it, he wasn't going to back out of the deal, as long as Dean was happy, that's all that mattered. 

He did seem happy too. 

Not that Roman was spying on him or anything, he kept his distance, like he promised he would. Seth had a few classes in the same building as him so he would periodically give his broken best friend updates, about how he was. He said Dean seemed okay, like he was going to be alright and that's all that mattered, too, his happiness, him being able to stay in school and away from Richard and Texas for good. 

The guy next to Roman, started to stir, he looked down and saw him moving around on his bed. Roman got up before he did and put on a pair of gray sweats, his running shoes and his favorite hoodie then exited the dorm. He still had his final review coming up this week, but Roman didn't care. He ran, just like he did every morning for two months, up the pier, around the campus, just to get Dean out of thoughts. It only worked for a few minutes at a time but those few minutes were exactly what Roman needed. 

He didn't miss him when running.

His heart didn't ache when running. 

He didn't think about losing the love of his life when the wind was behind him, his feet picked up fast and the thoughts of Dean stayed untouched in the back of his mind.

So, Roman kept running, he ran until it didn't hurt anymore… whenever that was, he didn't know but he was going to keep running until it did.

* * *

 

**The Next Day**

Dean rolled his eyes while walking with Jack towards history class. For the third time this week, Dean saw Seth, his ex boyfriends best friend walking pass them with some girl on their way to their class. Dean didn't mind Seth, after all, he wasn't all that bad if you looked past the bratty, self absorbed, sugar daddy loving traits he had. It wasn't Seth he didn't want to see… it was anything to do with Roman Reigns that he had a problem with. 

Almost three months ago, Roman broke Dean’s heart by sleeping with someone else. Dean had to laugh at the irony of it to keep from constantly breaking down. He told Cody that he had this perfect relationship, that was mature, genuine and  _ monogamous _ yet it was all a lie, something thrown away for a cheap with fuck with AJ Styles of all people. That's why Dean didn't dwell in his own sorrow. He was hurt, by Roman but he also had gained so much confidence by being with him. He knew that it wasn't his fault that Roman decided to cheat, so Dean had to move on. 

The first month was hard, Dean kept staring at the photos of them together on his phone. He almost called him once, too but he thought better of it. Jack and Cody helped him in the dark times, when he would go through their old texts and start to cry afterwards. But through his tears Dean found strength. He had confidence enough to try and move past this all… pass Roman… 

As if he could.

“You always roll your eyes at that kid,” Jack noted, while he and Dean walked up the steps together. “Something I should know?”

“He's Roman’s best friend,” Dean whispered, shrugging. 

“Ahh, I see.” Jack noticed Dean’s mood drop again. Every single time Roman was mentioned his mood would drop. He kept telling Cody and himself that he was over Roman, but Jack knew better. “Just don't focus on him. Focus on school, and that hot new guy who keeps blowing up your phone.” 

“Ezra?” Dean half smiled as he looked at Jack. A few weeks ago, after be met Ezra, Dean was coerced into texting him one drunken night by Cody and Jack. Since then, they've been texting non stop, Ezra was so sweet. He listened to Dean talk about Roman and shamelessly flirted with him whenever the mood hit. Dean had to admit it was nice, but he didn't know if he was ready to move on again. “We're just… friends.” Dean shyly stated.

“Friends huh?” Jack smirked, “Is that why I caught you two kissing behind Gregory hall the other day?” 

“Jack..” Dean didn't think anyone saw that. Ezra, was walking him home and they ended up kissing before they got to the frat. The kiss was… different. There was something there but… Dean couldn't explain it. It didn't make him feel alive, like it did when he kissed Roman. “It was just a kiss… and a ass grab. That's all okay?”

“Fine.” Jack smiled at how hard his best friend was blushing. It was nice to see him happy. Even if his happiness was short lived. “Are you going with him to Gregory hall’s costume party? I heard it's gonna be fun. The theme is iconic couples from television.” 

“Um, yeah..” Dean pressed his books close to his chest, “He invited me and I definitely want to go but I want you and Cody to come too. I haven't really been alone with another guy besides… Roman,” He gulped, “..and just in case something goes down I want you there… is that okay?”

“Well you already know me and Summer are there but you're gonna have to pry Cody out of Ted’s house if you want him to go anywhere.” Dean laughed at that, “He said they're finally thinking about taking it to the next level so.. you know, our boy Cody is gonna finally experience love making for the first time. I'm so proud.”

“Me too,” Dean smiled wide at how far Cody had come, “Anyway, so I can definitely count on you though? Party on Friday and maybe I'll experience something new with someone new as well?” 

“Of course bro,” Jack tossed his arm around Dean as they walked into class together, “To new adventures!”

* * *

 

**Friday**

Roman had come back from yet another run that afternoon, only to see his best friend laying in his bed. He ignored Seth completely and began to take off his clothes, to get ready for a shower. Seth sat up in his bed, watching his best friend undress at the same time, he watched Roman’s facial expressions. He had the exact same face he always had on for two months now… he was broken and Seth was the only one who knew why. Usually he’d give him updates on Dean and that would bring a half smile to his face but Seth couldn't tell him what he saw today. 

He never liked Dean, he always felt like he wasn't good enough for Roman’s heart and Seth had been right. It's only been close to three months since they broke up and he was already hot and heavy with Ezra Klein, the notorious, ‘nice guy’ surfer around campus. Seth knew Roman deserved better but his heart ached for one boy and no matter how hard Seth tried, he couldn't mend it. 

Roman left to go shower, at the same time Seth got a text from his friend Marek inviting him to the costume party at Gregory hall later on tonight. Seth smiled, seeing it as the perfect opportunity to get his broken best friend back out there and happy again. He came back in about 20 minutes later, still a little wet from the shower. Seth had to admit, Roman was so hot. Even though he was hot in an obvious way, he was also hot in less than obvious ways. He didn't notice how cute he was when he put a wet strand of hair behind his ear and he didn't see how adorable he looked as he tried to look for underwear. 

Seth watched him put some on, then he put his hair up into a nice, wet bun and came over to the bed, getting in without even saying one word. He grabbed his filmmakers guide book and glasses, beginning to read, without once acknowledging Seth’s presence. The brunette rolled his eyes at him, then decided he wasn't going to let Roman become a shell of himself. He smiled, then crawled on top of him, moving up until his dick sat snug right underneath Seth’s ass. That, immediately got Roman’s attention, he looked up at Seth, confused brown eyes staring at his best friend.

“What are you doing?” Roman asked, softly. 

“Getting your attention,” Seth smiled back at him, “There was a guy still here when I came home. He was wondering when you were gonna come back.” 

“I..” Roman shook his head, embarrassed, “I got lonely.” he only admitted it to Seth because he knew he was the only person in the world who wouldn't judge him.  “The sex wasn't good anyway though.” He shrugged. 

“Romie, it's okay to be lonely and lost. You just broke up with Dean. It's okay to need someone.” Seth brought both of Roman’s hands around his waist. It was a gesture, to tell Roman that he was there, that he could lean on him if he needed too. “I'm actually surprised, albeit happily so, to see that it wasn't AJ Styles in your bed when I came home.” Seth chuckled. “I always thought you’d go running right back to him.”

“I'm a man of my word,” Roman sighed, “AJ will  _ never _ have me again. I've moved on, I'm mature now and even though he hasn't… that's not my problem.” 

“So why tell Dean that you slept with him?” Seth asked softly, “What if he asks AJ about it?”

“He won't.” Roman stared off for a second, “I know Dean, better than he knows himself, right now he’s probably trying to move on. I hurt him and gave him a shit explanation as to why. He’s not looking for answers, he's looking for a way to stop thinking about me, the same way I am him.” He squeezed Seth’s sides softly, then rested his head on his shoulder, “I miss him so much, Seth. It drives me so fucking crazy.” 

“Mm.” Seth nodded, holding Roman’s head, softly playing with his baby hairs in the back. “I know you miss him, Romie, but you gotta move on from this. You even said it yourself, there's no going back to Dean. So I think it's time to get over him and find someone new. Don't you agree?” Roman whined loudly against Seth’s chest, “ Come on big guy, you can start by coming with me to the costume party at Gregory hall later on tonight. It should be fun! What do you say?” 

Roman lifted his head up and quickly shook it, a very firm no. “I heard about that party, I think I'll hard pass,” he placed Seth down to the side of him and both boys looked into each other's eyes. “Besides it's couples only, I heard.” 

“Um hello?” Seth smiled at him, “What do you think we are? We used to pretend we were newlyweds to get free drinks at bars. Remember?” He saw Roman smile at the memory, “Plus, Hunter dumped me again for his wife so you'll have me to distract you all night. I can be all over you, like I used too, so no boys you don't want will talk to you. It'll be fun and right now, you could use some fun. Please?”

“The last time you agreed to be all over me we almost fucked back in freshmen year.” Roman smiled when he saw Seth blush, then pout. Oh how he couldn't resist that pout. “Fine,” He gave in, making Seth smile. “I'll go, for you… but we have a problem. It's a costume party with the theme of iconic tv show characters. Who the fuck are we going to go as?” 

Seth shot up, and smiled wide, “Don't you worry bout a thing babe, I got us covered.”

* * *

 

**Gregory Hall, 10pm.**

Dean followed Ezra inside the party once they were stamped and the first thing he did was look around. Everyone was in different costumes, the most iconic tv shows couples coming to life right before Dean’s blue eyes. From Carrie and Mr. Big, to Corey and Topanga it was all so fun and life like. Ezra held his hand towards the kitchen where he handed Dean a beer then got one for himself. He pulled Dean in after they left the kitchen,  then brought him close to the wall. Dean stood against it, sipping from his beer while he and Ezra locked eyes. 

_ God, _ he was so hot, Dean kept thinking as he smiled at him and the young surfer whispered sweet nothings in Dean’s ear. He made up his mind before he came here, after psyching himself up in the mirror for an hour. Dean was going to fuck Ezra tonight and that was final. He had been fighting with himself on taking that next big step but Dean couldn't hide anymore. This was his big leap of faith, finally trying to move on from Roman and even though it scared Dean, he knew that he'd never get to move on unless he took that jump, with someone else and tonight…

He was going to do just that. 

“You make such a hot Ross,” Ezra whispered in his ear while pressing himself against Dean and slowly grabbing at the redhead’s ass. Dean gasped slightly smiling as he tossed his hands around his neck. 

“You make an even hotter Rachel,” Dean said back, pushing some blond hair out of Ezra’s face. He felt Ezra squeeze his cheeks, their lips and eyes so close that they could kiss right now and it would be alright with Dean. He squeezed his sides, biting down on his lip as Ezra held his ass in his hands. The both of them were so hot and heavy that the rest of the room seemed to fade right into the background. 

“I can't wait to fuck you,” Ezra told him outright, “To have you bouncing on my dick all night long, and then coming all over you.” He squeezed Dean’s ass harder now causing him to release a soft moan against him, “How about it hot stuff? Do you wanna get out of here?” 

“I…” Dean began to say something, but before he could get another word out... he heard a familiar laugh.

He never forget  _ his _ laugh, even when Dean was old and gray, that laugh would be memorable, it would get him through dark times, help him when the days seemed too long and time seemed to stand too still. He looked across the sea of people, hoping that he wasn't imagining things, hoping that it was actually him and not Dean’s mind playing tricks again. His blue eyes searched fondly, trying to find the man that matched the laugh.. and there is where he saw him. 

He was in a leather jacket, giving off asshole Brian Kinney vibes, smiling as he held onto Seth like he used to hold Dean. There was a cup in his other hand, moving from his lips to Seth’s, back and forth. They were staring into each other's eyes, swaying along to the soft music. Dean knew seeing him around was inevitable, they did still go to the same college after all. What he didn't know was how seeing him with another guy, even though it was just Seth… twould make him so… angry.

“Dean?” Ezra, pulled Dean’s attention back on him, “Everything alright?” 

“Um yes.” Dean faked a soft smile, “We just got here though, I wanna have a few more drinks before we leave is that okay?” 

“Of course,” Ezra nodded. 

“Great come on… let's move closer over here…” Dean selfishly pulled Ezra in closer to where Roman was. Thankfully, Ezra didn't figure out Roman was there yet because Dean didn't want him to see that he was spying on him.. He was still watching Roman, he held a smiling Seth so close and hadn't taken his eyes off of Seth yet. They nuzzled noses drunkenly, and Seth wrapped his arms around Roman’s waist, laughing as he whispered something in his ear.  _ Lookup, Roman. See me.  _ Dean said to himself, slowly dancing with Ezra while his eyes stayed on Roman. He watched him gulp down the rest of his drink then oddly his hands moved down the back of Seth’s body. He knew it had to be the alcohol because Roman wasn't  _ this _ attracted to Seth, he told himself… but yet his hands said otherwise as he grabbed Seth by both his asscheeks, which made him gasp softly and bite at his lip.

Roman whispered something in his ear yet again, only this time Seth tossed his head back in laughter, and Roman kissed at his neck, before he looked up… finally. 

The moment his eyes landed across the room, Dean saw the brown eyes he missed so much find him so quickly. He was staring, watching Ezra touch Dean all over as they danced. He didn't let go of Seth but Dean could tell by the way his jaw set tight that he was not happy to see Dean there, with another boy all over him no less. He saw Roman look away for a second, then look back right at Dean, with the saddest expression Dean’s ever saw on his face.

Dean didn't know what to do next… should he wave, say hi… go over? What was the protocol for seeing a man you still loved at a party while you came with someone else? Dean  didn't get a chance to say anything though,  because in a moment all too quick, Roman whispered something to Seth, making him look over in Dean’s direction. Dean saw Seth shake his head then… both of them left, holding holds. Dean tried to ignore how seeing Roman leave with Seth right after he saw him felt, but he couldn't. 

Fuck. 

He couldn't.

“Hey…” Ezra smiled softly at him, “Ready to get out of here now?” 

“Yes,” Dean agreed, trying not to let himself break down in the middle of a party, “Let's go.”

* * *

 

**Later on that night**

Roman was laying in his bed, eyes towards the ceiling as he contemplated. Seth got a call from Hunter right after they left the party so it left Roman all alone again. He was having such a good time at the party too, him and Seth were playfully flirting and sharing drinks. It was all so nice to get his mind off of everything until he looked up and saw Dean.  _ God,  _ he looked so good. He had a nice haircut and was wearing his come fuck me jeans. Fuck, Roman missed him so much.

The moment Roman saw him he felt the strange need to get away as possible. He missed Dean too much and couldn't stay in the same vicinity of the man he loved who was moving on with someone else. 

Every part of Roman wanted to go over and punch Ezra right in the face for moving in on Dean so quickly but he couldn't. It wasn't his fault that Dean was moving on. It was no one's fault but Roman's. He touched his chest softly, then closed his eyes. It was getting harder and harder to know that Dean was moving on with someone else but at least he had Seth. It helped knowing that he was there for Roman, through it all. A deep sigh escaped Roman lips as he tried to finally turn his mind off and go to sleep but..

**Knock.**

**Knock.**

**Knock.**

**Knock.**

**Knock.**

Incessant knocking interrupted Roman falling asleep. He got up, placed his hair in a bun, then walked to go answer it. He thought that Seth had forgotten his key or something but the moment the door opened the one person he never expected stood there, in one of Roman’s hoodies, with a very angry expression on his face.

“Dean…” Roman said breathlessly. “What are you doing here?” 

“Did you fuck him?” Dean asked, pushing Roman back hard. “DID YOU?” he slammed his dorm behind him, and pushed Roman again. “Did you FUCK Seth?” 

“Are you serious?” Roman grabbed at his hands so he couldn't push him again. “This is why you came all the way over here in the middle of the night?” 

“Answer it,” Dean’s blue eyes were blazing with fire as he fought against Roman’s hold. “Now, you asshole.”

Roman didn't answer him.

He didn't say anything back.

“Say something!” Dean yelled in his face, waiting for Roman to speak but again he said nothing. He did, however, grab at Dean, pulling him flush against his body. Dean gasped softly, looking up into brown eyes that had gotten so feral, hazed over with pure lust and adrenaline. He pushed Dean back, making his back hit his room, door harshly. Dean blew out a frustrated breath, pulling Roman by his tank top closer to him. Roman's hands slammed against the door behind his head, then pulled Dean’s up with him. 

They both breathed out heavily, brown and blue eyes looking at each other so intense, anger flashing in both of their eyes. Dean was going to push him away again but he knew he didn't want too. Roman let go of his hands then pulled at Dean by his small waist, giving him one look, before he kissed him softly. Dean whimpered out against him, immediately kissing Roman back, putting two months of pent up anger and frustration in his mouth. 

  
_ “Roman,” _ was the last night Dean got to say before he up picked up off his feet… and carried to his bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 400 reviews means an early update yay! 
> 
> Looks like Dean and Roman are breaking rules... what will Richard say about Ezra or Roman backing out of the deal? 
> 
> sidebar: AJ Styles has been written out of my fic due to being problematic irl so... enter Seth instead! - Melle


	21. Choose Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”_

God, he missed Roman’s dick.

Dean kept thinking that as the man he once called his boyfriend thrusted deep inside of him without a condom. His arms were slung around his ex’s neck and their kisses were slow... so slow that you could actually hear the sound of their lips smacking together in the room, followed by repeated moans. Three months passed since this man completely broke Dean’s heart. The same man Dean was now allowing inside of him again, despite knowing what he did and how much he hurt him.

He tried to move on, he did. Ezra was very sweet and he seemed to care a lot about Dean, going as far as texting him everyday, just to make sure he was okay and giving him sweet kisses that felt good on Dean’s lips, but bad on his heart. For some reason, Dean could not stop thinking about Roman. Even last night, after seeing him leave with Seth, Ezra asked if he wanted to leave and an unknowingly heartbroken Dean said yes. They ran upstairs to his room, started making out heavily, it even lead to Ezra giving Dean a blow job followed by his tongue deep in Dean’s ass, but once it came down to actual sex… Dean was teary eyed as he pulled away and told him that he just… couldn't. 

Embarrassed, Dean ran all the way back to the frat, and cried in his shower. Seeing Roman all over Seth had done something to him. He thought he was finally moving on but the thought of Roman with that spoiled brat, or any other guy for that matter made him feel… 

Dean couldn't really describe it. 

All he knew was that he saw was red after his shower, anger and rage flowed through him as he got dressed. He put on his tight gray sweats that he knew Roman loved, his sneakers and one of Roman’s old hoodies he had yet to return… then Dean ran.

He ran all the way to Newman hall. Hank, the security guard had let him in, even though he was surprised to see Dean there after months of not showing up. He knocked on the door hard, banging almost, ready to confront the asshole who hurt him more than anything two months ago, but instead he ended up here. 

Back in his arms.

Back in his bed.

Dean softly moaned against his lips, hands grabbing at his thick pale thighs as Roman went faster, hips meeting, sweat dripping, bodies colliding. “I miss you,” he heard Roman say, his blue eyes flashing open as they both reached their breaking point. Dean held on, his whole body shaking as he came, on both of their chests. Roman was next… he stared at Dean like he held the earth in his blue eyes, his body jerking up and down as the slick, bare cock pounded deep in him. Dean’s mouth was open, soft mewls releasing from his lips as he grabbed at Roman's arm, holding onto it tight, their bodies vibrating with pleasure as he felt Roman finally come inside of him.  _ Fuck, _ it felt so good. He missed that feeling of his warmness, thickness seeping somewhere deep inside of him. 

He kept going, his thrusts becoming robotic, the bodies causing the bed to shake...right until there was nothing left to give. Dean pulled Roman down, wrapping his arms and legs around him before they kissed again… this time faster, more passionately. Roman’s lips moved from Dean’s own, down to his soft, ivory neck then collarbone, down towards his erect nipples before he panted on top of him, his full weight on Dean, while they both breathed out softly. 

Dean ran his hands through the wet black hair of Roman’s, as he laid his head down on Dean’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. The room overcame with silence while both men came to realizations on what they just did. Dean, let a man who hurt him have him again, and Roman broke the deal he made with his father. He prayed to god that this is the one night that Richard took a break from watching him because Dean would be gone if Richard knew where he was right now and Roman wasn't going to let that happen… under any circumstances. 

“You never my answered my question,” Dean was the first to speak, pulling Roman up so they were face to face, “Did you sleep with Seth?” his blue eyes were full of worry as they looked back into brown. 

“No,” Roman said honestly, he already hurt Dean enough there was no reason to also lie to him, “He was just trying to make me feel better. I… haven't really been okay,” He pulled out, sighing heaving before he fell to the right side of Dean, “What about you? How are things with Ezra?” 

Dean turned to look at him, when he did, he noticed Roman staring straight up, trying not to look into Dean's eyes, “They're okay I guess,” Dean said softly, watching Roman’s jaw set tight, like it did hours ago at the party, he was uncomfortable, sad, but he still wanted to know if Dean was happy… fuck he missed him so much. “I got my first rim and blow job from a guy who isn't you tonight.” Roman breathed heavily from his nose, but kept listening, “It was.. different.” Dean whispered, touching his chest softly.

“Mm.” is all Roman could manage to say back. His heart was hurting. He just had sex with Dean but fucking hell it meant absolutely nothing because he couldn't have him. He couldn't fucking have Dean anymore. He made his bed now he had to fucking lie in it even though it was killing him every single day. 

“Aren't you gonna ask if we fucked?” Dean asked back, seeing how sad this was making Roman. He shouldn't of said that, but he couldn't stop it. Apart of him wanted Roman to hurt as much as he hurt him. Even though that part of Dean was very, very small.

“No, it's none of my business,” Roman said back, getting up slowly to find his running clothes. Fuck. He needed to get out of here, fast. He loved Dean too much to continue this conversation.

“Where are you going?” Dean wondered as he now sat up in Roman’s bed. 

“For a run,” Roman said back softly. “I just need to clear my head. You can stay here until I get back if you want.”

“So that's it?” Dean’s whole body was beginning to fume with anger, “You just fuck me then what? Leave me here alone in your fucking dorm like I'm some meaningless slut?” 

“Dean, you know you're more than that to me please stop it okay? I'll be back,” Roman begged him to just let him go. He needed air, he needed his mind not to be on thoughts of Dean getting fucked by other guys. 

“No, fuck you Roman.” Dean got up, grabbing Roman’s clothes right out of his hands so he couldn't leave, “You break my fucking heart three months ago, then I come over and I let you  _ fucking _ cum in me and you treat me like this?” Dean began to cry, “What happened to us Roman? I want answers. One minute we were so in love and I'm telling Cody how much you fucking mean to me then the next, you sleep with AJ and break my heart. You hurt me, Roman Reigns.  _ You fucking hurt me.” _ He whimpered out, “Why?”

“Dean,” Roman touched him softly, trying to bring him in but Dean just pushed him away.

“No! Don't touch me and say my name in that soft voice and pretend that everything's gonna be okay because it's not okay, Roman!” Dean yelled, “You think I like having to move on with Ezra? Or anyone who isn't you? Every time he touches me, I think about you. I wouldn't let him FUCK me because he wasn't you. So tell me now..” He sniffled, “Tell me why AJ was the man you broke my heart for. Tell me why you hurt me for HIM!” Dean kept pushing him, “WHY WAS OUR LOVE DISPOSABLE, ROMAN?”

Roman tried his best to not say anything that would ruin the deal he made with his father but after seeing Dean’s blue eyes full of tears as he begged for answers, and the fifth push, he just… couldn't take it anymore. 

“YOU WANNA KNOW WHY?” Roman grabbed at Dean,making him gasp as he pulled on his arms so he couldn't push him again. “I DID IT FOR YOU, ALL OF THIS SHIT FOR YOU!” 

Dean looked at him confused, “FUCK YOU, YOU DID NOTHING BUT HURT ME!” Dean screamed back, trying but failing to get out of Roman’s hold, “Was he worth it? WAS FUCKING AJ WORTH LOSING ME?”

“FUCK WILL YOU FUCKING LISTEN?” Roman had to raise his voice higher than Dean’s just to get his attention,” I DIDN’T FUCK AJ OKAY!” He finally admitted, “I didn't sleep with  _ anyone _ during our relationship but you.” Dean's eyes lit up with shock, “I told you I did that because Richard is gonna fucking hurt you, Dean, He told me he would and I can't let him hurt you,” Roman was the one crying now, “I won't.” 

“Richard…” Dean gasped softly, “My father? You spoke to my father?” 

Roman nodded, “He followed me out of Professor Saber’s office three months ago. He told me that I was forcing my gay lifestyle on you.” He sighed heavily, wiping his tears as he sat down on his bed, “He said that I needed to end things with you or he'd pull your tuition and take you back to Texas. I was so scared, Dean. For you. I didn't want to be the reason you couldn't continue your studies and I didn't want him to hurt you. He said there was  _ nowhere _ you could hide from his wrath. So I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I thought.. if you hated me then there would be no reason for you to stay. You could be free. I could save you.” 

Dean sniffled softly, then came back over to the bed and sat down right next to Roman. He was in pure shock about everything Roman had just said.  _ His father _ … his fucking father was the cause of all of this. He thought he went silent, as a proverbial ghost, after Dean sent him that photo album but he had been plotting this for awhile. He went after the only thing he could. The only card he had left to play. 

Dean’s heart. 

He crossed his legs, hands wiping tears out of his eyes as he looked over at Roman. “So you didn't sleep with AJ?” he asked, sniffling softly. He just needed to be sure. He wanted that dark cloud that rained over him for almost three months of his life over with. 

“No I didn't,” Roman shook his head, wiping tears out of Dean’s eyes gently. “I never slept with anyone during our relationship but the beautiful man in front of me.” Dean blushed softly, “I did sleep with two guys after we broke up, but it was bad sex because, even though they reminded me of you… they weren't you. No one can replace you in my heart. I'm in love with you, Dean. Only you and even though I fucked up royally by listening to Richard and hurting you, I'm hoping that one day you'll forgive me.” 

Dean looked down, and shook his own head as tears began to fall again. “I love you too, Roman,” He told him honestly, “But I'm with Ezra now…”

“I understand.” Roman nodded without looking at Dean. “I never thought that I actually had a chance again anyway.” He exhaled, then looked up into those sad blue eyes, “I just hope he makes you happy, and treats you like you deserve to be treated.” He touched Dean’s face softly, then placed one slow kiss on his lips, Dean held his hand, their lips lingering for a moment before they both pulled away. “I mean it.” Dean felt him caress his jaw, his brown eyes full of tears, “Want me to walk you back home?” 

“No,” Dean shook his head, “I want you to let me finish, cause I wasn't done,” Roman's eyes raised in shock, but still he nodded his agreement. “I'm with Ezra now but… I still want you.” Dean cried, “When I was young, I was always afraid that I'd never fall in love ya know, but my mom she told me that it would happen. She said one day I’d meet the love of my life. I have. I just didn't know it would be with a guy, or that I would love you so much it hurts when I'm away from you. My father is a master manipulator. He controls half of Texas, my mom, and me… but he won't ever control the way I feel about you.”

“Dean…” Roman held his hands in his own, "You're my heart.”

“And you're mine,” Dean smiled, “Which is why I need to end things with Ezra… but on my own time. Without you there… and he might kiss me and I might kiss him back because I do like him, he’s sweet and cares about me.” Roman gave him a look, a pained, sad but understanding expression. “You once told me that you'd wait for me to figure out what I want. I figured it out. I figured it out even before you did. I want you, Roman.  I've wanted you since the first time we met at that party and my father is never gonna come between us again. But I need to know how it feels to do this independently. I gotta do this on my own two feet before I come back to you.”

“I've slept with tons of guys, especially after Finn cheated on me just so I could try and find myself again. It fucking drives me crazy to think about him touching you ever again but… if this is what you need, then do it.” Roman took his hand softly, “But after you end it, I want you to come back to me. Say you'll come back?”

“I'll come back,” Dean promised him. 

They didn't waste time kissing softly. Dean wrapped himself up in Roman’s arms, letting him hold him as they made months of missing each other seem like days. Richard tried to take this love away from him, this man and his pure, innocent, love away but it wasn't going to happen anymore. Dean wasn't going to let his once in a lifetime love go away because his father said so. Fuck no. He was going to end all of this once and for all. He didn't know how yet, but now that he had Roman again he figured that Dean could do anything with him… right by his side.

* * *

 

Three days later, as Dean came out of class with Jack, he couldn't help but let his mind go to Roman and Ezra. After finally breaking down and actually listening to Roman tell him the truth… Dean admitted that he still loved him, which he did. He was still crazy about him. Despite him lying about cheating Dean understood why he did it. He thought he could protect Dean… which was so stupid but so brave of Roman to do. He broke his own heart to save Dean and that was admirable.

But it left Dean in a weird place.

He loved Roman but had some feelings for Ezra too. He was sweet, and treated Dean like a prince. He promised himself and Roman that he'd figure out what he was going to do and 98 percent of him was already ready to be back with Roman but there was that small two percent that asked Dean if this is what he wanted. Should he give up something budding, and good for a world wind romance with Roman who already broke his heart?

“Hey,” Jack nudged him as they made it to the cafeteria. “You okay? You look lost.” 

“Yeah,” Dean opted out of eating, sitting down at the nearest lunch table, a heavy sigh escaping from his lips, “I just got.. a lot on my mind.”

“Like what?” Jack asked, popping open some chips from his backpack, “Wait let me guess… starts with Roman, ends with Reigns.” He smirked gently.

“Ha,” Dean pouted, “Yes. Him and Ezra actually,”  he ran his hands through his red hair, then exhaled softly, “I don't know what to do, Jack. I wanna be with Roman, but do I just… forgive him? He hurt me, even though it was to try and save me. For three months my world came crashing down because he wasn't in it. Do I just go back after all that, even though I have something possibly good with Ezra?”

“Look I can't tell you what to choose, because ultimately, the choice is yours, dude, but I will say this, you told me you didn't sleep with Ezra when you could've. Yet the moment you ran to Roman’s dorm you guys made love. So let's say that yes, you decide to move on with Ezra instead of Roman, can you honestly look at me and tell me you'll be happy with him?” 

Dean’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at his friend and very softly shook his head no. 

“I think that's your answer, Deano. Yeah, you found out Roman isn't perfect. So what, neither are you, or anyone else. You love him right?” Dean tearfully nodded, “Then at the end of the day when there's no father drama, or cheating drama, there's love and he has it for you. So what's it gonna be? You gonna choose love, or what may or may not be with Ezra?”

“I choose love,” Dean smiled softly as the tears fell out of his blue eyes, “I choose Roman.”

* * *

 

**One week later**

Dean sighed softly while knocking on Ezra’s door. 

He knew this was going to be an awkward conversation considering that he hasn't seen him in almost two weeks but he needed to finally tell Ezra that it was over. He told Roman last week that he needed to end things with him on his own terms so Dean took a couple days away from them both to come to realizations. After talking to Jack, and searching his feelings all week, Dean finally made up his mind. Yes, there was something there between him and Ezra, but Jack was right, there was a reason Dean didn't fuck him when he had the chance and it wasn't just because he saw Roman at the party. 

He knew his feelings for Ezra weren't about love, it was about trying to move from from a real love, and sexual attraction. But for Dean, everytime Roman touched him, was with love, his heart beat for one man only and Dean wasn't going to let that go again. 

No matter what his father may think.

Ezra finally opened the door, smiling at Dean. “Hey you, long time no see,” He told him, reaching over to give Dean a soft, wet kiss. He kissed him back quickly pulling away before coming inside. “Want something to drink or eat?” Ezra asked, god, he was always so kind. “Its great to cuddle when you have snacks right near you.”

“Um, no.” Dean sat down in his computer chair and took off his satchel. “I actually didn't come here to cuddle or anything like that. I um.. we need to talk, Ezra, and I felt like I owed it to you in person.”

“Okay…” Ezra pushed some blond hair back then sat down on his bed, “What's up beautiful?”

“Well,” Dean blew out a breath, “I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total jerk here,” He looked down, “You've been so kind to me since my breakup and I thank you for everything and for being a great friend.. but... I um, me and Roman are back together.” 

“What?” Ezra scoffed, “I was just eating your ass like last Sunday.” 

“I know,” Dean blushed,  “...but I realised now, that I'm still in love with him and he still loves me too. I don't want to hurt you, Ezra. You're so sweet and you have a killer body and a talented tongue. But he’s the love of my life, and if I in good conscience stayed with you instead of him, I'd honestly end up cheating on you with him… or worse. So that's why I decided to tell you this in person because you deserve the truth.” Dean smiled somberly, “I'm hoping we can still be friends or try to be.” He touched his knee softly then got  up to leave but that's when he heard Ezra say,

“You're a fucking slut, Dean.” 

Dean turned around in shock as he looked back at Ezra. He never heard him speak like that about anyone. Hell, he barely even cursed. 

“Are you... serious right now?” Dean asked back quite angrily. 

“Why wouldn't I be?” Ezra replied, his nice voice changing to deep, full of his own anger. “You let me basically fuck you one week then the next you're back with him? The guy who  _ cheated _ on you?” He laughed, “Does he know that my dick was almost inside of you hmm?” He asked walking closer to Dean, “Does he know that I had you screaming my name in that very bed last week, my tongue deep in your pretty pink hole, while he was sleeping?”

Dean let out a laugh, “I never screamed your name, I barely even moaned…” He said back with a shrug. “You were okay, but there's reason why your dick never made it in my ass.  I'm used to bigger dicks than yours,”

“You're saying Reigns is bigger than me?” Ezra laughed, “Yeah right.”

“He is. Eight long inches, of thick, beautiful samoan dick, who knows how to  _ actually _ make me scream his name. So you trying to slut shame me is never going to work, because yes, he knows about you. He knows everything. So call me a slut, a whore, a liar,  I don't care. I have a man who loves me, and now I know I'm not missing anything else by loving him too.”  

Dean pushed Ezra away hard this time then left out the door. “Fuck you Dean! YOU FUCKING SLUT!” he heard Ezra scream from the dorm but he didn't look back.

Dean kept going, all the way to Newman hall, pass Hank, the security guard and in front of the door where his heart lied. He knocked on Roman's door three times before he opened it, and Dean fell right into his arms. Dean gave him the biggest hug, wrapping his arms around Roman's shoulders tightly, without letting go.

“Hey beautiful…” Roman smiled, “Are you okay?” he asked as he held at Dean’s waist while his boyfriend breathed in his scent softly.

“I'm better than okay,” Dean finally looked up at him, “I'm in the arms of the man I love with all my heart.” 

“Does this mean… you're mine again?” Roman asked as joy lit up in his soft brown eyes.

“I'm yours,” Dean answered, right before he kissed him slowly, the door closing behind him as Roman brought him in.

* * *

 

**Later that night**

Dean sighed happily while Roman held him close in his arms. He couldn't believe he went three months without feeling his warm body next to his own, that thick bushy beard tickling his chest and asshole, or those muscular arms around him. He missed all of this for three months because his father decided to play god with Dean's life. He thought that the fear of Dean outing him to the whole family would've kept him away for good but it didn't. He went after Roman because he knew Roman would do anything for Dean, even if it meant breaking his own heart. 

Roman kissed his at neck, from behind while Dean contemplated. He spent two weeks thinking of how to take his father down without Cody’s help and only one thing seemed to come to mind. The only thing that Dean could do to get him out of his life for good. 

He had to beat his father at his own game.

Dean unexpectedly moaned as Roman’s dick sat snug between his cheeks. He turned his head to kiss him, while Roman teased over his entrance a few times. His hands moved down to grab at Dean’s waist, kissing over his shoulder blade as Dean got lost in thought.  “Babe.. I’m about to fuck you but you seem not here...  what are you thinking about?” Roman asked as he looked at him seriously. “Ezra?” He teased,

Dean gave him a playful look, before laughing, “No, my father,” Dean answered softly, watching Roman roll his eyes, “It's not like that babe, I'm not still angry at you. I just can't go on like this… Not knowing when he’s going to pop up and hurt me… or you.” Dean rolled them over, straddling Roman’s waist. “I wanna take him down. Once and for all by doing to him the same thing he did to me.” 

“You're gonna break up with him?” Roman asked, laughing as he placed his hands behind his head. 

“No,” Dean looked down at Roman seriously, a devious smile on his face as he teased Roman’s dick, stroking it a few times before he slowly placed it inside of him. Dean smiled, his hands on his chest while he began to ride, “I'm gonna go after his heart… fuck… all of it....mmm.” Dean moaned out loudly, “And I'm gonna start with the one thing he's afraid to lose.” 

“What is that?” Roman asked as he pulled Dean in and stared at him as they made love. “Money?”

“My mother.” Dean smirked, “She's his heart, just like you're mine and I think it's time she knew everything…” He bounced up and down on Roman’s dick, kissing him gently before he asked,

  
“You up for a trip to Texas?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman finally gets to see how the other half lives on a trip to Texas. 
> 
> My friends, PI is ending soon. Are you happy, sad? -Melle


	22. The Texas Sinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Roman embark on a trip to Texas.

“You're really going to Texas?” 

Seth kept asking Roman that as he packed. Dean was already in the parking lot waiting for him and Roman kept ignoring what he was saying while he finished up. 

He made sure he had the essentials before he went to his drawer to grab his box of condoms. 

“So you're ignoring me now?” Seth asked him from his bed, “First, you get back with Dean without telling me, and now you're off to Texas with him. Romie…” Seth grabbed at his arm, forcing brown eyes on him. “What is this, why are you still with this… guy again?”

“I love him Seth,” Roman sighed and stopped packing so he could sit next to his best friend. “I think I've been in love with him since the night we met,” He smiled off into the distance, “I know you don't like him, but I think it has way more to do with what's unsaid between  _ us _ , rather than what's wrong with Dean and me.” Seth’s face turned red with shock and guilt as he looked up at Roman, “Am I right?”

“Maybe,” Seth mumbled, while looking down at his own jeans, “Romie, when we met in high school, you were the  _ hottest _ guy to me, like my dream guy. But I never acted on how I felt because I didn't want to lose you as a friend. Now, we're much older and I'm in this weird relationship with an older man who will never leave his wife for me and.. it has me thinking about what I really want in life,” He played with his fingers nervously, “... and what I want is to see if you and me could.. work, be something. When we kissed at the party there was so much chemistry between us… tell me you didn't feel it?” Seth challenged as he stared up at him, “Tell me that you wouldn't of fucked me that night if Hunter hadn't called?”

“Honestly?” Roman blew out his own nervous breath, “I probably would've,” he told Seth the truth, then touched over his face softly. “If Dean never came back to me and Hunter never called. We'd probably be in bed right now, exploring the massive, untapped chemistry between us. But that just it, Seth. Hunter did call and Dean came over for a reason. No matter what you say, I know you love him, and I love Dean. We both know that the love we share, you and me, it's beyond sex, or a physical relationship. If Hunter leaves, if Dean leaves, god forbid,” Roman laughed, “I'll still be here and so will you, until we're old and gray complaining about nursing home food. We're soulmates.” He saw Seth smile somberly, “Now, I gotta go, before my man gets worried about where I am. I'll see you when I get back okay?” 

“Okay,” Seth kept his smile, as he watched him rise, “Romie, wait…” He grabbed his arm, then stood up on his tiptoes, wrapping his arms around his friend, right before he gave Roman a very soft, last kiss. “I love you, my best friend,” Seth told him, staring into his eyes. 

“I love you too, my best friend.” Roman kissed him back for a second, then grabbed his suitcase. They gave each other soft looks before Roman exited. He smiled as he said goodbye to Hank, the security guard, then walled to the parking lot, where he saw Dean waiting… by this… totally sick ass car. 

“Oh my god, this is yours?” Roman asked as he lifted his sunglasses off his face just so he can eye the beautiful, candy red convertible. 

“Yes, well.. one of four.” Dean smirked at him, reaching over his shoulder to bring his boyfriend in to give him a short passionate kiss. He pulled back slowly, looking up into the eyes of the man he loved so much.

“I keep forgetting that I'm dating the son of a billionaire,” Roman teased, as his lips grazed over Dean’s. He gave him a couple more quick kisses then pressed his boyfriend right up against the car door, making Dean breathe out quite heavily, “It makes it that much more fun, when I fuck you.” He whispered while his hands began to move down his sides.

“You are so lucky that I'm horny right now or else that line would've resorted in a punch to your arm,” Dean whispered gently near his lips, gasping slightly when Roman grabbed at his ass. “Mmm… Ro, don't start, we gotta go, and if you get riled up, I'll never want to catch this flight.” 

Dean pushed him away, turning to open the car door but Roman was quick, back on him, in space, pressing his dick right near Dean's ass. The redhead moaned for him, giving Roman yet another kiss from behind, before he pushed him away again. “Wait until we get to Texas, then you can fuck me on my mom's expensive dining table if you like,” Dean teased. 

“Don't tempt me, I haven't even met your mom yet. I think I owe her some formalities before I fuck her only son in her home.” They both laughed, kissing each other one last time before Dean took their bags and loaded it into his trunk. He slammed it shut then tossed Roman the keys, shocking him when they hit his chest. “You... want… me to drive?” Roman asked, while his brown eyes lifted with joy and excitement.

“Yeah, I do. I trust you.. just don't blow the engine,” Dean winked at him before getting in the passenger's seat. Roman slid in right after him, a smile on his face as he turned the key and started up the beautiful car. “Roman,” Dean touched his arm before he turned the key, “Before we leave… are you sure you want to do this?” His ice blue eyes were now full of worry, “This is Texas, it's high society, rich snobs who are going to look at you like all you want is my money. They'll judge you, Roman. All of them.”

“I came out when I was 15,” Roman said, easing those blue eyes with his smile, “I know what it feels like to be judged by friends, family… I’ve been through it all. What's a few republicans?” He half smiled at Dean’s pout, “Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna sit down, and be humble, because I have the man I love right in front of me… and he happens to love me too and that's worth more than any insult I've ever gotten.” 

“Did you really just quote Kendrick Lamar?” Dean giggled at him.

“Yes, I did, and you knowing what it was right off the bat is the exact reason why I love you.” They both smiled at each other fondly, and Roman gave Dean one last kiss before the lovebirds took off to the airport embarking on a journey to Texas.

* * *

 

Almost three hours later, Dean and Roman were in the back of a cab on their way to Dean’s mansion. They held hands all the way there, but Roman could not take his eyes off of the view. The houses on top of the hill in Westlake were the epitome of big money, large pools, bigger fences, guarded areas. It was all so… lifestyles of the rich and corrupt. Roman felt like he was in the middle of a crime documentary on America's richest liars. 

They pulled up to the biggest house on the end and the big black fence stood shut in front of their eyes. Dean was asked to identify himself by the intercom, “Dean Nathaniel James Ambrose,” He said, and once he did the gates to proverbial hell... opened slowly. 

“Okay babe, please remember, my mom, she's cutthroat, a sly, southern woman who can ruin you with just a look. Her charm is the only thing that out matches her mouth. Just.. let me do the talking, okay?” Dean squeezed Roman’s hand gently, watching him nod as he paid the driver. They both got out and that's when Dean let go of his hand… for now. The front door was opened, and both of them were greeted by Peter, Dean’s butler for many years.

“Mr. Ambrose,” Peter said hurriedly, “Your mother was not expecting you for another two weeks when school ends,” He took a look at Roman, “Who is this... gentleman?” 

“This, is Roman,” Dean said happily, “Where is mother? I need to speak with her immediately.” 

“She's entertaining, I'm afraid.” Peter answered apologetically, “The Hendersons are here.” 

“Henderson…” Dean let out a curse underneath his breath, “Goddamnit.” He turned to Roman, “Faye is here.” Dean told him softly.

“Faye as in your ex girlfriend… Faye?” 

Dean nodded.

“Well fuck.” Roman added. “What are we gonna do?” 

“We're going to have to do what we came here to do. Get her alone somehow,” Dean turned to Peter, “Pete, I need you to announce that I'm here to everyone in the garden. Can you do that?” Peter nodded, and walked off quickly, ”Once he tells everyone I'm here, my mother will be pissed off. She hates me coming home unannounced. She thinks it's tacky. She'll pull me into the den to talk and that's when I'll tell her.” 

“Okay that's all good and fine, Dean but… what if she doesn't believe you?” Roman was starting to get worried about this plan, “Not to be a debbie downer, but It's literally your word against his, and without Cody’s help you just look like a gay boy confessing revenge on your father.” 

“I thought about that,” Dean smiled, “Cody didn't want to help physically, he’s not ready and that's fine. But he did give me over 50 text messages of my father telling him how bad he wanted to fuck him.  I printed them all out then read some..they're really explicit but it's the best Cody could do. When he's ready to finally take him down, I'll be by his side, but I'm ready to take him down… now. Even if it's just losing mom. It's exactly what he deserves.” 

“Well look at you, Mister man with a plan,” Roman smiled, “I'm so proud of you baby.” 

“Yeah? You can show me just how proud of me you are, later, when you fuck me on my balcony, if this goes well if course.” Dean smirked at him.

“The balcony?” Roman's eyebrows raised in shock, “I thought you didn't fuck in parent's homes?” Roman asked, smiling, “My good  _ Christian _ boy.”

“We both know that's no longer true, well when it comes to you anyway,” Dean took a look around to make sure no one was in sight before he quickly kissed him on his cheek then pulled back, blushing. 

They were staring at each other, with smiles on their faces, undoubtedly happy until Dean heard the voice. “Dean?” His mother came sauntering in the living room, in her sundress, a display of shock on her face as she saw her son. “Son! Hello… this is so… unexpected,” Her smile was faked as she gave him a hug, while staring at Roman like she had the ability to kill him with her ice blue eyes. “Faye is here,” She tossed imaginary lint off his shoulders, “I have no doubt she'll be so happy to see you, even if you did come over without telling me first,” she placed both hands on his face, “Um… who is… this?” She asked, looking at Roman.

“Mom,” Dean rarely called her that, it was always mother, somehow it seemed more formal, an ode to the relationship that they had, distant, cold, frigid like her hugs. But today was different, today Dean was going to stand in his truth and let her know something Richard had been hiding for years. He took both of her hands, placing her attention from Roman back to him, “We need to talk… all three of us… now.” 

“We can talk later, I need you in the garden now,” She looked over at Roman, “Peter will show your…  _ friend _ to your bedroom. New guests who do not announce themselves to me, first thing aren't allowed in my garden.” 

“Oh I'm sorry, I'm Roman, it's a pleasure to me you ma’am,”  Roman reached out to try to shake Mrs Ambrose’s but she just pulled back and shook her head.

“Upstairs, dear. There will be plenty of time for pleasantries later, I'm sure,” She kept eyeing him while pulling Dean away towards the garden. Dean tried to say something to Roman but his mother kept pushing him forward, forcing him to follow her. 

“Mom that was rude,” Dean whispered to her as they walked into the garden.

“Don't you even begin to discuss rudeness to me when you show up at my house unannounced with a male friend, what do I run Dean? A brothel?” She clenched her words through her teeth.

“He's not just a friend mother,” Dean began… “He's…” 

“Sorry to keep you waiting Joan,” His mother wasn't even listening to him. Instead, she greeted the Henderson's once again, pulling Dean along with her, “This one right here decided to come home early from school, so I just had to greet him right by the door,” Dean awkwardly waved at everyone, and received a hello back from everyone but Faye. She pretended like she didn't even see him as she grabbed another champagne flute and sat down. “Faye, I know you must miss Dean while he's off at school, why don't your mother and I leave you two alone so you can catch up?”

“NO!” Faye screamed, standing back up, “I mean… no… that's quite alright. We don't need any privacy, right, Dean?”

“She's right mother, we really don't…” Dean pleaded with his mother. 

“Oh pssh!” His mother waved her hand at them, “You lovebirds need a little time together and that's what we'll give you, come Joan, let me show you the new sun room.”  They walked out shortly after that leaving Dean and Faye in the garden… alone. 

“So..” Dean began.

“So..” Faye said back, “How's the impossibly hot, 6’ foot, samoan boyfriend?” There was no anger in her voice like last time they spoke. It was sweet, subtle.. like when they were younger. 

“He's good,” Dean nodded, “How are you? I tried calling for an entire month after that story you spun for our parents but you never answered any of the voicemails or texts I left.” 

“Your boyfriend tells you he was basically in love with a guy, a guy who he fucked while we were on a break, how would you react?” Faye scoffed, folding her arms, “I just needed time, Dean. I hated what you did to me but that doesn't me I was gonna automatically out you. It's your life… and you deserve to tell your parents on your terms.”

Dean was shocked by her answer, “I actually told my dad,” He sat next to Faye and smiled, “I sent him an entire photo album of my boyfriend and I. He was so pissed he tried to get revenge but it only brought us closer,” He sighed, “I actually came to tell my mom… but.. I'm glad you're here as well, Faye. I owe you an apology. When I met Roman, I tried to fight how I felt around him and after a week of being with him... I knew I was gay. It's the way he makes me feel, ya know? But in the process, I hurt you and that was never the plan. You were my best friend and I'll always regret hurting you.” 

“It's okay, its not all bad,” Faye smiled, “After we broke up I found a cute boy, who's not at all gay and he loves me. He's a liberal jackass but we make it work.” Faye smiled, “I'm happy for you Dean, I really am.” 

“I guess we both have our own liberal jackasses,” Dean laughed, “But I'm happy for you too Faye. You deserve true happiness.” Dean leaned over and kissed her cheek.

“Friends?” He asked softly.

“Friends.” Faye said back with a smile.

* * *

 

Dean ran back upstairs after he and Faye hashed everything out in the garden. He went to his room first, opening the double doors to see Roman there, sitting at the edge of his bed. Dean blew out a relieved breath. He was scared his mother was going to have him thrown out. He was glad Peter didn't listen to every single thing she suggested. 

“I love your room,” Roman said as he put down Dean’s photo album. “All the science awards, academic awards, it's like I'm dating a sexy Einstein.” Dean laughed at him, moving closer until he got to the bed. He sat next to his boyfriend and smiled softly. 

“I'm not that smart,” he said back, blushing, “I just needed something to keep me sane living here,” he picked up the album and looked through it, smiling at the picture of him, Cody and Jack, “I did it by joining as many after school clubs I could find. My favorite, was photography club though. The moment I picked up a camera was the happiest moment of my life… until the night I met you,” Dean watched those brown eyes twinkle at him and it made his smile even wider. 

“I thought you were so cute,” Roman touched the side of his face softly, “You were so rude to me but I saw it as a challenge. I thought we'd hook up and I'd never see you again, but you proved me wrong.” 

“I'm glad I did, I love you, Roman.” Dean said, grabbing onto his hand that was on his face. He pulled him forward, and Roman smiled before kissing him softly.  

“I love you more,” Roman said back, resting his forehead against Dean’s. “And I love your home, it's so fucking big,” Dean laughed, “Do you wanna… tell your mom now or should we wait for dinner? Cause I'm pretty sure I smell steak and I could really go for some filet mignon right about now.” 

“You are something else!” Dean punched his arm gently with a smile, “You might not get dinner unfortunately, because I do wanna tell her now,” Dean's blues filled with fear as he looked back at his boyfriend, “I wanna tell her everything. Are you okay with that? Are you ready?” 

“I'm ready,” Roman nodded, “Are you?”

Dean looked off for a second. He knew he was about to ruin his father's life but this is what had to happen. He had been lying to his mom for years, pretending and defaming the exact thing he happened to be. Not anymore. Dean knew he was doing the right thing. He turned to his partner and smiled softly, “I'm ready.” Dean nodded. He took his hand and Roman kissed it before they got up and walked downstairs. 

The time had come… Dean was ready or at least, he hoped he was.

* * *

 

They walked downstairs together, their hands unattached once Dean saw his mom waving goodbye to Faye and her parents then closing the door. He stopped in front of her and when she turned around she smiled at Dean but refused to look at Roman, “Oh Dean, Faye told her mother and I that you two decided to end things for good and that's when they left in a huff. Not to say it's a bad thing, honestly Faye has gotten a little big in the hips lately, I know my son can do better.” She pinched his cheeks and smiled.

“Did she really just say that?” Roman whispered to Dean and he nodded, while pushing her hands away.

“Mom, we need to talk, okay?” Dean told her outright.

“Oh honey we're talking right now, what's there to discuss? Now,” She smoothed over his shirt, “Why don't you go change for dinner. Will your…  _ friend _ be staying?” 

“Mom…” Dean grabbed her arms, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “I said we need to talk… in your den.. now.” 

His mother looked back at Dean, shocked and confused, but she finally nodded her okay. “Peter, why don’t you go and tell the chef to add another plate for Dean’s friend… I'll be right back. Boys, follow me.” Dean and Roman gave each other a look before they nodded and followed his mother towards her den. They all came in, then she slammed and locked the door shut, before turning to her son, “Dean, this better be important young man,” His mom began, “You know better than to put your hands on a lady.” Her accent was thick as she stared at him, “I mean I raised you better-”

“Mom-” Dean tried to say.

“Then you go off to college and lose all your morals?” 

“Mom!” Dean yelled again, trying to get her to stop talking.

“You'd think some whore in Savannah raised you or-”

“MOM!” Dean finally yelled, and that's what got her attention, “… I'm gay.” He stuttered out, tears in his eyes as he told her the truth. She stopped talking, immediately, turning to look at Dean with an odd calmness to her face. “I would... go into detail about when I knew but I feel like on some level I always knew… and you did too.” 

She said nothing back as Dean confessed his secret. She did however, move to sit in her chair slowly, smoothing down the wrinkles of her sundress as she sat down, and idly looked forward. Dean kneeled before her, and took both of her cold hands into his own. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, she pulled her hands away from his and sighed, “Of course I knew,” Her tone became darker, laced with anger as she looked at Dean, “I'm your mother. Give me some credit, Dean. The moment I saw you watching the neighbors older pool boy cleaning, with stars in your eyes I knew… but just because we think we are something, does not mean we express it out loud… especially if the something we are... is a sin upon god.” 

“Mom…” Dean knew she'd react this way, his father had her brain washed from the moment they met. Dean tried to take her hand again but she just pulled away once more and pushed back from him. There were tears forming in Dean's eyes as his mother denied him her touch and her empathy. He thought telling her would mean something. That if he said the words out loud she would be forced to deal with them, face them… but Dean was wrong. “I didn't express this part of myself for 21 years mom. I let myself believe I could love a woman, for you and for god but I can't. I can't love Faye because I am gay, mom,” he moved closer to her, with tears in his eyes, “I'm your son... and I am gay.” 

“Is that why you brought this…” She eyed Roman, “ _ Thing _ into my home? Is this your lover?” 

“I'm his boyfriend?” Roman replied, confused as to why she called him “lover.”

“Oh, it speaks,” Mrs. Ambrose laughed, then went into her mini fridge and took out a bottle of scotch. She poured it into the glass by her desk then sat back down, “You're the one who defiled my son? Let him live his sin with you?” 

“I don't wanna be rude here…” Roman said, watching her drink helplessly, “But you literally just admitted you knew your son was gay ma’am. Whether it was the pool boy or the Harry Styles posters he hung up all around his room for ‘decoration,’ you knew. So no, I didn't defile your son, and the only sin ever committed was Dean being born into this family. You're backwards, lazy, rich on money, low on IQ, high on religion and it ruined him. He didn't experience anything growing up in this castle but resentment. You have your only son here, in tears, telling you his biggest secret and you take a drink and place blame. You're pathetic and honestly you don't deserve a son like him.” 

Dean smiled softly through his tears as he looked at Roman. He never had anyone stick up to his parents the way he just did right to her face. He helped Dean up and held Dean’s hand for comfort, wiping a tear away from his red eyes while he looked back at him, “Come on, it was a mistake coming here. Let's go.” Roman spoke softly to Dean, watching him nod sadly. They held hands walking towards the exit but something in Dean made him stop. He stopped, touching Roman softly on the arm then went back towards his mom.

“I came here because I thought you'd understand but why would you? He used to tie me to the bed for DAYS and you'd let him. Your perfect man.” He sobbed, “The guy you love, the monster who raised me, has been raping Cody for YEARS.” Dean tossed her all the screenshots from his pocket, they floated around the room as his mom sat idly with tears in her eyes, “There's your fucking proof in case you need it. I guess I'm not the only sinner in the family, aren't I mom?” He let his tears flow freely then he walked back over to Roman, “Take me home,” he whimpered, “Please?” 

“Okay… let's go.” Roman took his hand and they walked right out of the mansion… together.

* * *

 

Another four hours later, they were back in Roman's dorm. Dean was laid out against him and Roman held on, caressing his back over and over. He knew Dean was hurting he just wished there was a way to make his pain disappear for good. He kissed his forehead, then hummed softly, to keep him at peace. Dean touched his chest then looked up at him, a somber smile on his face. “Can we have sex?” He asked very gently, “Please?” 

“You wanna have sex after everything we went through today?” Roman asked, as he touched the small of his back, hands moving under his hoodie slowly.

“I do, do you want to fuck me?” Dean sat up on top of him and took his hoodie and shirt off, then placed his hands on Roman's chest, “I could use your dick right now.” 

_ “Do I want to fuck you?” _ Roman laughed at the way Dean said it, “Are we in a gay porn I don't know about? Dean, come on, talk to me. If you're upset let me know.. we don't have to have sex for me to be there for you.”

“I am upset because I thought she'd understand. She's my mom yet all she thinks is that I'm a sinner. I know that we don't need to have sex, I just want too. You've been there for me even when I hurt you and you hurt me. I love you Roman, and now that everything is out in the open, I'll really lose everything but at least I'll have you.” Dean could feel him getting hard up under him, he really loved this man. “Now, can I have you or do we need to talk some more?” 

“You can have me,” Dean got all giddy once Roman said it. He stood up and unbuckle his jeans, while Roman began to stroke himself while watching. Dean bit down on his lip, then took off his pants and boxers then climbed up on top of him. He took over, stroking him to full hardness before he took all of Roman in, raw. Dean moaned out at the feeling, and slowly began to ride his boyfriend. They were both going a steady, slow pace, Dean’s arms around him while they kissed softly. 

Roman didn't think about what he asked next. It was the moment, being with Dean after everything they went through, he just wanted to protect him from all it. That's why he stupidly asked, 

“Dean… move in with me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not at a good place right now but I figured I left this without updating long enough. I won't promote it on tumblr anymore and Mine might be my last fic for ambreigns but I appreciate your support of the fics I've made and me. 
> 
> I love you all. - Melle.


End file.
